Chapter 44: Women need sex to prove they are loved, men use sex to prove they love
After Yu Di returned to China, one of her rooms was vacant, with six months' rent remaining. She had originally planned to sublet it to a colleague, but since there were few women there and the apartment was urgently needed, no one was looking for a place to stay. Li Wenjing, reluctant to live with someone she didn't know well, was struggling to decide when Gu Weiyi offered to rent the vacant room and take care of her injured arm.
She'd been living with him for some reason. When he finally moved in, he asked her if she was sure he wanted to live with him before he even walked in. He only had two suitcases and a backpack, so he felt like he could leave anytime he wanted.
"You're all here, and you're still talking nonsense!" Li Wenjing leaned against the dressing mirror in the entrance hall. The mirror reflected her slightly furrowed brows and wide-open eyes. "If you don't come, who will take care of me? Hiring a nanny costs several thousand a month. Just think of it as a free live-in nanny who will eat, drink, and sleep with me."
"I only have a few thousand yuan? Is that all our love is worth?" He leaned in a little, as if to kiss her. Li Wenjing stared at him, and he said seriously, "But you are priceless in my heart, Ma princesse."
"How disgusting! I'm not even going in!"
Li Wenjing had just taken a step back when he hugged her around the waist, kissing her cheeks and lips crisply. He finally couldn't help but smile, "You still have a chance to regret it."
"What am I worried about? It's obviously you! Are you regretting this?" Li Wenjing bumped her forehead against his chin. "Regret is useless. Go cook me two dishes. I'm hungry."
"No, I just—" He paused, "Maybe it was too fast. Many couples, even in a serious relationship, don't necessarily live together. Usually they're planning to get married, or they're not in a de facto marriage."
"I don't think as much as you do. Let me put it this way, no matter what kind of relationship it is, one-night stand, friends with benefits, or a serious relationship, or even marriage, it usually ends in a mess. My dad and mom are like that: my dad beats my mom, and my mom beats me. I've actually been afraid of getting married since I was a child, and the worst thing I've experienced is meeting someone like my dad. It's already good enough for me now, and you don't have to think too much about whether we get married or not. Just think of it as taking care of me until I'm better. Or if you think our relationship hasn't reached that level yet, I know a lot of Europeans like their own private space, and I have no objection if you want to move out."
He said that, but when he mentioned the word "move away", Li Wenjing felt a sour feeling in her nose. She lowered her eyes to look at his luggage, trying to hide the loss at that moment.
"You misunderstood. How can you kick someone out on the first day?" He brought the luggage in and closed the door. Li Wenjing's eyes rested on his fingers. He reached out and rubbed her cheek. "I'm not unhappy living with you. It has nothing to do with Miss Fu. I originally wanted to find a new place where I wouldn't bother her and I could take care of you."
Li Wenjing didn't say anything. He shook her cheeks twice and said, "Now, don't be angry."
"Who's mad at you? You're saying something incomprehensible again, about regrets and de facto marriage..." Li Wenjing bumped her head against his chin again. He uttered a soft "ah". Li Wenjing raised her eyes and glared at him, "I just wanted to spend some more time with you."
Gu Weiyi said he would always be there, but Li Wenjing knew it was just to comfort her. Although his recent work was in Mombasa, the same place as her, he was preparing to go to Congo next year, and it was unknown when he would return.
Li Wenjing's hand injury slowly healed, but she wasn't happy. It felt like everyone around her was leaving, and everything was fleeting. She still wasn't used to seeing Yu Di off at the airport. Yu Di's belongings were hurriedly left: toothbrush, shower gel, shampoo, hairband, and more were left on the sofa. Li Wenjing tore off the "Fu" character from her bedroom door and drank a cold beer before accepting her departure. Pale moonlight streamed into the room, illuminating the falling water droplets, each a tiny moon. She reached out, touched the droplets, and punctured each moon.
Before leaving, she sent her a very long message. Li Wenjing didn't read it carefully. It probably said that she was grateful for saving her life, that she was her best friend in Africa, and that they should have dinner together after returning home. He also wished her peace and happiness in the future, and that she would have a successful love and career.
After finishing her beer, she replied to Yu Di: "Don't be too sad, live a good life." Li Wenjing didn't know what to say. Maybe she should tell him not to be sad because Feng Ge was gone, or to go to France to study business and fulfill her dream, or to tell him what plans she had in China and what kind of job she would look for in the future.
Of course, this is all nonsense.
Later, future, dream... these words are like pouring water on the desert in the barren life, they disappear as soon as they are spoken.
When Gu Weiyi was at work during the day, she had nothing to do by herself, so she would either sleep, take a walk, or go to the supermarket, trying every way to kill time. The accident report had already been written and sent to the dean and engineer Pierre at the same time. They both told her to wait. She was not good at resting, and although her salary was still paid, she was always uneasy and was forced to go to work. One morning, when she really changed out of her pajamas and put on a coat to go to work, Gu Weiyi would not let her go. He said that her job now was to rest, and "Kenya" means "God's resting place". Even God had to rest when he came, so she should take good care of her injuries. Li Wenjing threw herself on the bed, feeling that she had been forgotten by God.
Africa was struck by another epidemic, Ebola, while other countries were engaged in civil wars. Everything was happening in the same world. Li Wenjing, bored at home, watched the news. Things she had previously rarely cared about, or rather, things she had always avoided—famine, war, and death—were happening everywhere in this land. The video changed, and a metropolitan city was ablaze with neon lights. A crowded square displayed handsome men and beautiful women on a large screen, and the streets were filled with cars. Meanwhile, she sat peacefully in this small room, sipping a soda, and once again she felt that not only was time fractured, but the world was fractured, and so were people.
New Year's Eve was also spent alone at home. Gu Weiyi was away on business again, and there was a company party, but Li Wenjing simply said her hand wasn't healed yet and didn't go. Gustav was also concerned about her plans. Li Wenjing asked if Gu Weiyi had asked him to take care of her. He didn't deny it, but said she was very smart and he would pick her up in the evening. However, Li Wenjing declined his invitation. Without Gu Weiyi, she was so slovenly that she didn't even want to go out.
She thought she'd go crazy if she continued to overthink it. Fortunately, two weeks later, Gu Weiyi returned. She thought he looked much tanner, and upon entering, they gave her a deep kiss and hug. Her fracture was almost healed, and the splint had been removed. Still worried, he took out an X-ray, looked at it, touched her hand, and asked if it hurt. Li Wenjing smiled and threw herself into his arms, hugged his neck, and told him she was truly healed and fine.
They kept kissing each other on the sofa. She missed his touch. His hands became a little rougher and stroked her chest. Under this tingling stimulation, she wanted him very much. She put her hand on his shoulder and stroked all the way down. He didn't move. He noticed her disappointment, let go of her hand, and asked her if she wanted to eat something.
"Whatever."
He opened the refrigerator, but there was nothing inside. The outside was filled with instant noodle buckets, some used and some not. He cleaned up and threw away a big bag of kitchen waste. Li Wenjing's face turned red as she watched him clean.
"I should have come back to buy some food." He searched a bit more and found a box of eggs. "Eggs are fine. I'll make do with them for now."
After the instant noodles with fried eggs were served, he first said to her, "I'm sorry."
"What do you feel sorry for me?"
"You touched that place, you want to do it, I..." He smiled sheepishly, "Should I really listen to Gustav and go to the hospital? What if medical science has advanced and there really is a way to cure me?"
"I was thinking about it just now, but now I don't want to. I'm full of anger."
Li Wenjing glared at him and ate a few mouthfuls of instant noodles. "Is the purpose of dating just to have sex with girls? Like my brother, he got the girl pregnant and had an abortion. It's better to just have a cesarean section."
Junjun's school is also on winter vacation, so he brought his girlfriend here to relax and make up for her. Xiaoqiao is also coming over with Zhang Zhaochuan. Li Wenjing is worried about how to entertain so many people. Xiaoqiao is a good choice, because her younger brother is the one who causes the most trouble. It's just right that Gu Weiyi is back, so she can have someone to look after him.
"I believe you will get better slowly. I am already very happy to be with you like this."
"What if I never get better? You'll always have needs, and I won't be able to give them to you. I'll feel terrible."
"It's not like I'm thinking about that all the time, unlike men who are always horny," Li Wenjing said as if trying to make a joke with him.
"Then you should make more money and find me some male models. My dream life is to make a lot of money and support little brothers..." Li Wenjing couldn't help laughing.
"Okay, tell me your specific requirements. How old are you, how tall are you, and what nationality do you want?"
"No older than 25, I want a Slavic woman with blue eyes and skin as white as ice. No wrinkles on her face. Order now."
Li Wenjing actually agreed to his order, and he laughed along. "You're asking too much. The best I can get you is someone like Mutasha. He takes a part-time job every winter, accompanying the ladies on vacation at the beach."
"Is this true? You're kidding, right?"
"Really, many men here with good figures do this kind of work, and the wages are much higher than their jobs."
Li Wenjing nodded. "That's good. But—I thought you looked down on me. You're so proud, and yet you're good friends with Mutasha."
"His parents don't have jobs, and he has many younger brothers and sisters. It's not easy for him to make money. Why should I criticize him?"
"Yes, we must survive first."
After dinner, Li Wenjing and he watched an old movie called "Pretty Woman." Li Wenjing had actually seen it several times, and she felt sleepy before the end. She held her eyes open until the male lead arrived in a luxury car before going to bed. He still couldn't get enough, so he used his old methods to satisfy her: his hands and lips.
She hugged him tightly, almost suffocating him, as if he were truly inside her, possessing her like her previous boyfriends, but in the end, she could only accept that she could not use him. Where was the boy who had "possessed" her body now?
She doesn't remember him.
She had forgotten even his touch, his scent, and all she remembered was the pain they'd felt the first time. Did every woman start out in pain, then begin to enjoy it, even covet it? She couldn't figure it out, not even the path to release it. Being completely free with someone of the opposite sex seemed to have nothing to do with love. As long as she didn't dislike him, they could have ended up in bed. The journey from dislike to affection to love didn't seem to require a path through bed.
Women need sex to prove they are loved, and men use sex to prove their love.
She crawled into the bed, leaned in his arms and closed her eyes. She didn't think about the relationship between sleep and love, or whether love needed sleep. It didn't matter. At least, his arms were reliable, supporting her like a cradle. Sleepiness quickly came over her. In a small room in Africa, she fell asleep on a man's shoulder. Perhaps there would be many such shoulders in her life, but today, she only rested her head on his shoulder.
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