Chapter 34 Meng Jinyan, You're Not Bad

"But, no matter how much I expected, it was all in vain. That beast Meng Xiuyuan still ruined everything. Originally, my mother and I had agreed that we would return to my grandmother's house after my brother was born. From then on, we would never see that obnoxious Meng Xiuyuan again."

"But before my brother was born and before my mother divorced him, something unexpected happened. San, who Meng Xiuyuan had been entangled with for many years, showed up. Their illegitimate child is even one year older than me. That means he cheated on me the year my mother and Meng Xiuyuan got engaged, and he got San pregnant."

"Also, Meng Xiuyuan also schemed against my grandparents. My mother's family is gone, and the only family I have left is gone too..."

Having said this, he seemed unable to bear the pain, his brows furrowed, and he quickly cut his arm again.

When the knife slashed down, there was no trace of pain in his eyes. On the contrary, he seemed to enjoy it, and there was a sense of joy in his eyes.

It feels like I have a love affair.

But no matter what, Jin Yu didn't want to watch him hurt himself anymore, so when he was about to speak, she moved to another side.

After sitting down next to his bloody arm, she took two deep breaths. The next second, pretending that she couldn't stand the smell of blood, she gently fell on his shoulder, "I feel dizzy~"

Meng Jinyan: “…”

He immediately fell into the mood of past grief, but was pulled out of it with her gentle "I feel dizzy".

After pulling away, he felt the weight on his shoulders, his body had a strange discomfort, and his tone became even harder.

"What are you doing?"

Jin Yu took it for granted, "You are my husband."

"so what?"

"I'm dizzy, let me lie down."

Meng Jinyan: “…”

She leaned comfortably on his shoulder, her pure white nightgown clinging to the bloody blade scratches on his arm. Soon, the snow-white dress was covered with bloodstains. His Adam's apple rolled lightly as a reminder.

"Your clothes are dirty."

Taking advantage of the fact that he was not awake at the moment, Jin Yu boldly asked, "Oh, then buy it for me again."

Meng Jinyan: “…”

He was calm, neither dwelling on painful memories nor doing anything to hurt himself.

In fact, Jin Yu would be satisfied with this.

But thinking that he was still holding the blade in his fingers, she was afraid that he would fall into bad memories again, so she began to find ways to chat with him. She called him softly, "Meng Jinyan."

"Um?"

"I'm a little afraid of pain."

"Um?"

"You have a razor blade in your hand, and I'm afraid you might hurt me by mistake."

Hearing this, the man lowered his eyes and glanced at his hands. Just when Jin Yu thought he would be moved, his eyes darkened slightly, and he clenched his hands a little tighter, and raised his eyes with some caution.

"Then stay away from me."

Jin Yu: “…”

Well, my nature hasn’t changed.

Once he speaks, he is still very strong in the arena of arguments.

However, she did not argue with him, knowing that he was afraid of being pestered. She leaned her head on his shoulder, which made her feel irritated.

"The baby is also afraid of being accidentally hurt."

This time, the man tilted his head almost in fear.

My breath caught in my throat. "Baby?"

Jin Yu smiled and nodded, deliberately pulling his hand that was holding the blade. After pulling it away, she took his hand and touched her belly, "Yes, me and your baby."

“It’s been over a month now.”

Hearing this, the man's emotions fluctuated greatly. He was in disbelief and asked the question over and over again.

"Baby?"

"Um."

"Me and your baby?"

"Yes, our baby."

While replying, she took advantage of his relaxation and his lack of attention on the blade in his hand and quickly added, "You should throw the blade away quickly. The baby will be scared if he sees it."

Somehow, when Meng Jinyan heard this, he suddenly thought of his mother and younger brother.

Immediately, he obediently let go and threw it away.

After throwing it away, he carefully touched her belly, his expression was even more lost and regained, and his eyes became red, "I knew that you and your brother would not bear to leave me behind."

Jin Yu looked at the black velvet head in front of him and his eyes became hot.

This is the real Meng Jinyan.

After his mother and brother passed away, he felt scared and insecure because he witnessed them disappearing before his eyes and he was powerless to do anything, and he also felt deeply guilty.

Thinking of this, she touched his head.

In a very gentle voice, he asked, "How have you been doing these years since we left?"

He probably thought of her as his own mother. He told her everything in detail as if he was complaining, "After you left, Meng Xiuyuan blamed me for everything. He didn't like me, and scolding me was commonplace. He also always whipped me, slapped me, and kicked me. Later, Fa Mingzhu married into the family. Whenever she was unhappy, she would lock me in a small dark room. She didn't give me water or food. I heard her tell Meng Xuyun that she wanted me dead. In the Meng family, even a random servant could teach me a lesson..."

"Later, it was my grandpa and grandma who found something wrong. A year later, they took me in to live with them. But during that year of abuse by Meng Xiuyuan and Fa Mingzhu, my personality changed a lot. I was no longer the sweet baby that everyone praised. I became withdrawn and had aggressive behavior. Later, my family doctor said that I was sick and could no longer play by myself. I had to integrate into the larger environment. But after returning to school, Fa Mingzhu deliberately arranged for my classmates to isolate me. Slowly, I completely became a person that everyone hated, like... like a cancer."

His eyes were calm as he said these words.

Thinking back on those experiences, he seemed numb.

Jin Yu listened, but felt very uncomfortable.

She hugged him, her voice filled with heartache, "No, you are not a cancer, Meng Jinyan, you are not bad."

He is really not bad. It seems that except for his bad temper, he is good in other aspects. When she is bullied, he will not only help her fight back, but also teach her how to fight back. He also said that if she is bullied outside, he will support her.

Except for the fact that he had a hard time accepting her in the beginning, although he was arrogant at other times, he always thought about her. Even on the night they started living together, he clearly agreed that she would sleep on the sofa, but in the end, he still let her sleep on the bed.

He's really, really not bad.

He is gentle.

But he didn't know how to express it correctly.

She still remembered that day when the car braked suddenly and she threw herself into his arms, he did not immediately blame the child who accidentally crossed the road, but instead asked if the child was okay.

His gentleness is hidden in the little things.

But he didn't seem to hear her words, and continued, "Later, grandma had no choice but to take me to the orphanage. She said I could pick a brother from the orphanage to take home. There were so many children there, and they all called me brother warmly. But I picked Meng Tai because he was the one who looked most like me, with scars all over his face and curled up in a corner without saying a word."

Having said that, he curled his lips and smiled.

"Just like that, I got a little follower. However, this little follower was a mute. I brought him back for more than a month, and he never spoke a word. But no matter where I went, he would follow me quietly. Later, Fa Mingzhu came to trouble me again. She had two bodyguards tie my hands and feet, and I couldn't break free. At that time, Fa Mingzhu was very proud. She even wanted to beat me, but Ah Dai appeared at this time. He rushed to me and bit Fa Mingzhu viciously. He also said, 'Old witch, don't bully my brother.' At that time, I thought that if my younger brother was still there, he would protect me in the same way."

"Later, I would take him with me wherever I went, and he would follow me around and call me brother every day. In addition to Ah Dai, there was also Gu Feng and that shameless Jing Yubai. The three of them followed me every day. Also, I stopped going to school, so Grandpa hired a tutor for me. I didn't dare to be lazy, I worked very hard because I wanted to avenge you. I hated Fa Mingzhu, and I hated Meng Xiuyuan even more. I thought, sooner or later, I would make them lose everything they cherished."

"But I didn't expect that Fa Mingzhu was quicker. She was probably afraid that I would take revenge when I grew up, so she wanted to strike first and bribed assassins to kill me. I almost died at the hands of those assassins several times, but fortunately, the mercenaries hired by Grandpa were strong enough, and I was able to escape danger every time. Later, I thought, I can't rely on others' protection. I have to become strong myself and become immune to all poisons. Only in this way can I protect the people I want to protect, so I asked Grandpa to send me to the army for closed training."

He said this calmly, but Jin Yu imagined many dangerous scenes.

Whether he was a few years old, a teenager, or a twenties, no matter which time period he was in, he seemed to be escaping.

The scene was so vivid that her eyes turned red and she hugged him tighter.

His voice choked. "You are already very good."

However, he shook his head and said, "Not enough."

Afterwards, he lowered his head and gently touched her belly with his clean hand. "I have a child. In addition to helping my mother and brother to avenge their deaths, I also have to protect him. I want to be a good father, and also... a good husband."

After hearing his last words, Jin Yu was stunned.

Does she have tinnitus?