Chapter 42 “From the day we got married, you were no longer alone”
The car drove onto the overpass leading to the city center. Lu Yu did not break the silence, but just drove attentively, occasionally glancing at the people beside him out of the corner of his eye.
"Lu Yu."
"Hmm?" Lu Yu responded immediately, his voice very soft.
Lin Che was still looking out the window, his eyes unfocused. He slowly turned his head and looked at Lu Yu.
"This is me, Lu Yu." Lin Che's voice was low and clear, each word sounding like it was ripped from the heart. "A child who grew up in a family ruined by a betrayed marriage, who was threatened with death by her own mother, who watched helplessly as her mother fell down the stairs and became what she is today, and who has lived for over a decade with the hellish suspicion of whether I pushed her. A person...who has to deplete his savings and even resort to begging to barely afford his mother's basic medical expenses...Lin Che."
He pulled the corners of his mouth, and that smile was uglier than crying: "This is my life. No glamour, no ease and comfort, only endless bills, lingering nightmares, and a black hole of responsibility that can never be filled. This is... the me you need to know. All of me."
After saying all this, he seemed to have completely exhausted his last bit of strength, leaned back heavily in his chair, and closed his eyes.
His long eyelashes cast a heavy shadow under his eyes, trembling slightly. He was waiting. Waiting for Lu Yu's reaction, waiting for a verdict, or... waiting for a response he dared not hope for.
The car fell silent again, with only the roar of the engine and the whistling of the wind outside the window.
Lu Yu didn't speak immediately. He gripped the steering wheel, his jaw tense as he stared ahead. Lin Che's words, like a blunt knife, repeatedly sliced at his heart.
He felt sorry for everything he had endured for Lin Che, and also for Lin Che's almost cruel honesty and humility at this moment.
He took a deep breath, slowly drove the car to the side of the road, and stopped at a relatively quiet temporary stop.
The car stopped.
Lu Yu unbuckled his seat belt, then turned sideways and, in the dim light, stared deeply and seriously at Lin Che, who had his eyes closed.
He did not touch him, but traced his pale cheeks and furrowed brow with his eyes.
"Cheche," Lu Yu's voice was low and steady, carrying a power that could calm the turbulent waves, "look at me."
Lin Che's eyelashes fluttered a few times before she slowly opened them. Her eyes were filled with exhaustion and a fragile uncertainty.
Lu Yu met his gaze, and spoke each word clearly: "Thank you for telling me. Thank you... for being willing to share such a heavy burden with me."
There was no trace of disgust, retreat or pity in his eyes.
"I don't know your past, Lin Che. I know you as a person." Lu Yu's voice was filled with undeniable strength. "It was you who gritted your teeth and crawled out of that muddy situation. You didn't grow crooked, you didn't give up on your responsibilities, and you shouldered the responsibility that shouldn't have been borne by you alone."
He reached out his hand, but instead of shaking Lin Che's cold hand, he gently stroked his cheek, and his thumb very gently wiped away the moisture that had seeped out from the corner of his eyes.
Lu Yu's voice softened. "As for the future, no matter what happens, it's too early to say whether we'll get a divorce or not. But there's one thing I can tell you for sure—"
He leaned forward slightly, his gaze blazing, as if he wanted to carve his conviction into Lin Che's heart. "From the day we get married, you're no longer alone. I share your burden. I've taken on your past. Your present and future... Lin Che, I want to walk with you. No matter how deep or shallow, bright or dark the underlying color may be."
Lu Yu's palm was warm and strong, covering Lin Che's cheek. The warmth seemed to penetrate his skin and slowly seep into his cold and stiff limbs.
Lin Che stared at him blankly, seeing the unconditional determination and tenderness in his eyes, and watching every word he spoke seriously.
The heavy shell of self-loathing and suspicion that almost crushed him finally made a subtle and clear cracking sound under Lu Yu's burning gaze and words.
He didn't say anything, just looked at Lu Yu, his eyes gradually turned red, and then, big tears rolled down without warning. It was not the kind of broken cry from before, but a silent, surging release.
He suddenly stretched out his hand and tightly grasped the hand that Lu Yu was touching his face, with such force that his knuckles turned white, as if a drowning man was grabbing a piece of driftwood.
He lowered his head and rested his forehead on their clasped hands, his shoulders shaking violently. The grievances, pain, fear that had been suppressed for too long, as well as a trace of unbelievable, faint hope, all burst out at this moment.
Lu Yu let him hold him, and put his other hand around his shoulders, holding his trembling body tightly in his arms.
He patted his back gently, like comforting a frightened child, his chin resting on the top of his head.
The car slid smoothly into the underground garage, the engine turned off, and the ceiling light automatically lit up, casting a soft light.
Lu Yu tilted his head to look at the passenger seat. Lin Che leaned back in the chair, his head tilted, his breathing even and long, clearly sound asleep.
The traces of tears on his face shimmered in the light, and his long eyelashes drooped quietly, casting a faint shadow under his eyelids. Lu Yu could even see his slightly furrowed brows unconsciously and extremely slowly relaxing a little in his sleep.
Lu Yu's heart was so soft that he didn't wake him up immediately. He just watched him quietly, his eyes tracing his sleeping outline.
He unbuckled his seatbelt very gently, then carefully leaned over and gathered Lin Che's long down jacket tightly, making sure there wasn't a single gap for air to leak through.
The wide hood of the white down jacket covered Lin Che's entire head, leaving only half of his fair face exposed.
After doing all this, Lu Yu gently opened his car door and walked around to the passenger side. He opened the door, and the cold air from the garage instantly rushed in. Lin Che shivered unconsciously in his sleep.
Lu Yu immediately leaned over, put one hand firmly across Lin Che's knees, and carefully supported his back with the other hand, trying not to change his curled up posture.
Lin Che's body moved slightly in the feeling of weightlessness, and he uttered a vague mumbling. His eyelashes trembled a few times, but he did not wake up.
He just instinctively buried his face deeper into the warm crook of Lu Yu's neck. This unconscious action of dependence made Lu Yu's heart feel like it was gently bumped by something, causing a sour and warm ripple.
Lu Yu steadily carried him out of the car and gently closed the door with his foot. Lin Che's body was very light, and he felt almost weightless in his arms. Lu Yu held him and walked slowly and steadily towards the elevator step by step.
The elevator ascended, the narrow space filled with only the faint sound of mechanical movement. Lu Yu looked down at the sleeping person in his arms. Lin Che's warm breath brushed against his neck, bringing a subtle tickling sensation.
Opening the door, the warm light from the entranceway poured in. Lu Yu carried Lin Che straight to the bedroom and gently laid him on the soft bed. Lin Che sank into the quilt, still not waking up. He only unconsciously rubbed the pillow and let out a satisfied hum.
Lu Yu knelt on one knee beside the bed and stared at him for a moment. As Lin Che fell asleep, the sharp pain and self-doubt between his brows finally disappeared, leaving only pure exhaustion and a childlike peace.
Lu Yu stretched out his hand, and gently brushed away the slightly messy hair on his forehead with his fingertips. His fingertips brushed across his slightly cool skin with endless pity.
He stood up and prepared to get a hot towel to wipe his face, but just as he moved, the corner of his clothes was grabbed by a slightly cold hand.
Lu Yu paused and looked down. Lin Che still had his eyes closed, breathing steadily, as if it were just an unconscious movement.
Lu Yu's heart instantly softened. He sighed silently, but a very gentle curve appeared at the corner of his lips.
He did not try to leave, but sat down on the bed in this position very slowly.
He let Lin Che hold onto the edge of his clothes, then carefully adjusted his posture and lay down on his side, right next to Lin Che.
He stretched out his arms and, through the down jacket that was wrapped around him, loosely embraced Lin Che in his arms.
His chest was pressed against Lin Che's back, and his other hand gently patted his back.
Lin Che relaxed slightly in his sleep, unconsciously shrinking into Lu Yu's embrace, his nose almost touching his collarbone. The hand that was clutching the hem of his clothes slowly loosened, and in turn gently rested on Lu Yu's arm that was wrapped around him.
Lu Yu lowered his head, resting his chin lightly against Lin Che's soft hair. He could smell the faint, crisp winter scent of Lin Che. He tightened his arms, hugging him even more tightly.
The room was silent, with only the sound of their intertwined and gradually synchronized breathing.
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