I became smaller.
Just overnight.
When I was hanging out with friends, I once joked that it would be great if I could turn back the aging process, but I never thought that this would really happen to me.
To be honest, I don't really understand the meaning of my becoming smaller.
It would be better if I just lost my memory.
That way I could forget all the pain.
I know that my mental state is not right.
I have secretly visited a psychiatrist several times without telling them. The doctor's advice to me was always one sentence: "Let yourself go."
He refused to prescribe me any medicine.
I once darkly speculated that this doctor didn't want to cure me, but I don't know why I just didn't change him and kept going to him for treatment. Later I found that I blamed him wrongly.
It's not that he doesn't want to cure me, but that he is powerless.
The only one who can cure me is myself.
As long as I am willing to "let it go."
But how easy is that?
I used to think I was a lucky kid, born in a wealthy family, never felt financial embarrassment, even if my parents didn't love me, but I still had my younger brother.
Then...
I lost my younger brother.
We became enemies, in every sense.
Actually I didn't want to, I loved him very much, after all, he was my only relative, that didn't count for my parents.
And I also know that I did a lot of things wrong, a lot.
For example, when I was learning to make milk for him, I added two more spoons of milk powder, I thought my younger brother had to eat more to grow faster.
For example, when I was helping him assemble toys, I was very enthusiastic, but in the end I was domineering and didn't let my younger brother mess up for me.
Because once he came, the parts I had just assembled with great effort would be destroyed. He was really a destroyer when he was young.
In addition to eating, drinking, defecating, sleeping and destroying things, he didn't know how to do anything.
Like a certain black and white dog I've seen on TV, handsome, but stupid.
Okay, I shouldn't have said that to my brother.
I think I have to apologize, no matter what the reason, I have to say to him: "I'm sorry."
I'm sorry, Gu Xiaolan, I didn't act like a good sister.
I thought I could replace the role of your parents and give you enough love, but it turns out that I can't.
Because how can a person who doesn't even love himself love others?
Or rather, I don't know how to love.
You have to apologize.
After that slap, I said this to myself as I watched my brother crying and walking away.
But I don't dare.
What if my brother refuses to forgive me?
The angel in my heart is timid, but the devil is encouraging me bravely.
Come on, go for it, anyway, your relationship can't get any worse, right?
There's no chance.
Lying on the dirty ground, I looked up at the sky dyed red by the setting sun, and around my neck was a pair of hands that wanted to kill me.
Facing death.
I once struggled hard, but my strength was as weak as a mayfly trying to shake a tree, laughably weak.
I'm going to die.
I'm sorry, Gu Xiaolan, I won't have the chance to tell you the apology I made up my mind to do.
I hope you can find someone who truly loves you in the future.
I also hope that the parents will be a little nicer to you since they already have a daughter who has died and you are their only son left.
Not much, just a little.
At least remember to give your children some pocket money, right? It's really uncomfortable to be without money.
I was saved.
What happened was like a bloody youth romance drama at the 8 o'clock prime time.
Yes, rich daughters also like to watch this.
Who hasn't had a youth that was ignorant but yearning for love?
A young man in a clean school uniform came in the light, slowly walked up to me, chased away the bad guys, and saved my life.
With the last bit of sunset light, I saw the student badge on his chest.
[Fu Heng, Class 2, Grade 3.]
It turned out that he was a senior in our school.
How lucky! When I wake up, I must thank him properly.
No chance.
I sat on the hospital bed, drinking the soup carefully cooked by the housekeeper in a depressed mood, and the dark clouds above my head were almost condensed into substance.
Why?
Because I missed the college entrance examination.
Some people may ask what the college entrance examination has to do with me, a freshman in high school?
It has a lot to do with it, not only because I will have to go through this in two years, but also because I can't find him.
My savior.
After all, apart from a name and the fact that we went to the same high school together, I didn't know who he was.
I felt that I was heartbroken.
Although I have been single since birth, this did not prevent me from using this as an excuse to vent my anger.
Turning grief and anger into appetite.
Of course, before indulging myself in binge eating and drinking, I had to be a righteous red scarf.
Send the bad guys to jail.
Before entering the court, I was so scared that my legs were shaking. I glanced at the tile wall that could be used as a mirror, and my face turned pale like a ghost .
Countless times, I wanted to escape, but my legs were too weak to walk.
I was too scared to face the man who almost killed me. The marks on my neck seemed to still hurt slightly, bringing a fatal feeling of suffocation.
I couldn't
help but clutch my clothes tightly around my chest and breathe deeply.
I felt like a fish out of water.
Drop, drop, drop.
The phone rang like the sound of nature.
I lowered my head and saw a voice from the housekeeper.
"The young master has fallen asleep. When the eldest lady comes back, I will make your favorite peanut dumplings."
Dumplings, reunion.
Today is not a festival for eating dumplings, but seeing this word here, I always feel that it is a hint to me.
That bad guy once threatened me. If I dare to stand up and testify against him, he will definitely retaliate against me.
I don't doubt his words. After all, there is nothing that a villain who has killed people can't do.
Therefore, I need to send him to jail even more.
Not for anything else, just because I am a sister and I have to protect my brother.
During my escape, I once met Xiao Lan. Although I chased him away in time, I am not sure whether the murderer has seen him.
Based on my shallow understanding of him, he will definitely not let my sister and I go easily.
In this case, I will take action first.
The door of justice opened before my eyes, and I took a step towards destiny.
Later, I often wondered, if I had not taken this step, would there not be so many tragedies in the future?
I would not have been mentally tortured for a long time, my eldest son would not have been tortured to the point of mental problems, and in the end I almost implicated a group of people who loved me and whom I also loved.
This idea is often denied by me as soon as it appears.
Because no matter how many times it happens, my answer will not change.
My choice is right!
The crying of the child startled me from my memories. I turned around and saw my husband holding me, who was soaking wet, standing beside the bed with a helpless look on his face.
It was the first time I saw such an expression on his face, and it was inexplicably funny.
But when my eyes shifted downward, I couldn't laugh anymore.
Because, I... wet the bed.
No, no, no, it was three-year-old Xiao Qingqing who wet the bed. What does it have to do with me, Gu Qingqing?
Thinking in this way, I was able to get rid of my embarrassment and slowly combed my gray feathers.
Yes, I had discovered it a long time ago.
And I was not surprised at all.
I turned into a bird, the legendary dream bird.
It fulfilled my wish.
To be a carefree child forever.
The condition is that part of my soul and most of my memories will be locked in the body of Zhu Mengniao forever, watching me do all kinds of stupid things when I was young.
It would be better to just give me a bowl of Mengpo soup and forget everything.
Wouldn't it be nice?
Others can't see me.
You can find out by just trying it.
Only that little dumpling can see me, probably because she and I are the same person.
It turns out that I was so cute when I was a child.
Forget it, considering your cuteness, it's not unbearable to be a little stupid. This is
the first time I found that Fu Heng is actually good at taking care of children. After all, he also took care of two sons.
This proves that I am not a widowed child-rearing person.
Shocked, he can also cook! He
won't try to poison me when I'm young, right?
I'm slapped in the face.
Fu Heng's cooking is... actually quite delicious.
Shouldn't I be surprised that I share the same taste with Xiao Qingqing?
In fact, it's not surprising, after all, we are the same soul.
I feel that no matter what happens, this reason can be used to explain it.
By the way, after I turned into a bird, did my personality become much more lively?
Facing Xiao Qingqing's curious gaze, the bird flapped its wings on the treetop and jumped twice.
Who cares? Anyway, I'm a little bird, no one knows me, I can play however I want, this is a good time to let myself go.
Hey, actually I can really fly.
The little guy is going to the mall, of course I have to go with him to take a look.
I have long been desperate for Fu Heng's straight male aesthetic.
He can really buy more than ten pieces of clothes of the same style at one time, and wear the same thing every day.
People who don’t know would think he didn’t take a shower.
Fortunately, I was smart and later dressed him in haute couture.
There is only one piece of the same style, so it’s impossible to buy duplicates.
My husband still has to dress up nicely.
Not for the little fairies outside, but for my own enjoyment.
Oh, I forgot.
Fu Heng will soon not be my husband.
I want a divorce.
This idea is not a spur-of-the-moment idea.
It is the result of my careful consideration after more than 20 years of marriage.
It is not some bloody plot that I think he doesn’t love me or he cheated on me.
Although there are many rumors about him, including a rumor that he has an illegitimate child, and what's even more ridiculous is that I have met the child and the child's mother, I still believe in him as always.
The main reason is that his real wife is his work. If he is willing to divorce his "wife", I won't have that much money to waste.
Fu Heng loves me.
I can feel it.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have married him just after I reached the legal age for marriage.
We got married after free love, not a business marriage as rumored by the outside world.
To put it bluntly, before being taken over by my younger brother, the Gu family could not even get into the Fu family.
I was able to marry into the Fu family.
First, Fu Heng loves me, second, I am very outstanding, and third, a mother's status is based on her son.
The last point is not important.
Fu Heng loves me with or without children.
I firmly believe this, but I still want to divorce him.
There is no other reason, just that I am tired.
I am living a very failed life.
This is how I feel about myself, and the outside world's view of me...maybe so too.
I can't love people, even if I am deeply loved by others.
This is my original sin.
I can't give the same love to those who like me, so they can't feel my love and are dissatisfied with me.
Even if I try very hard to express my love.
They are just like me in the past, who couldn't get the love of their parents and then developed resentment towards them.
To ask for something but not to get it is □□.
It triggered all the conflicts that followed.
In the end, it hurt the people who loved me and destroyed everything I had.
Maybe, I should die at the hands of Han Dayu.
Maybe, that is my true destiny.
Maybe, I don't deserve happiness.
I want to divorce Fu Heng.
Because I don't want to implicate him.
He will be laughed at for having a wife with mental problems.
Yes, I still insist that I am sick.
The symptom is that I don't know how to love.
I have found a beautiful seaside villa and have already renovated it.
After the divorce, I can take a large sum of separation money and enjoy my retirement life here comfortably.
I may learn something that I am interested in, maybe painting, dancing, or flower arrangement, photography, or even various sports.
I will travel four times a year, once in each season.
Use the remaining time to see this beautiful world.
Most of the time I will recuperate in the seaside villa. There are take-out and various games, movies and TV series. I can stay at home for a whole year.
Don't think that Auntie doesn't play games anymore. Auntie is very good at playing games.
Occasionally I would get together with my best friends and enjoy a wonderful social time.
I had a detailed plan for the future, but I was the only protagonist.
The children didn't need me.
This was a reality I had long realized.
They no longer liked to go to the amusement park, no longer liked to eat candy, and...didn't love their mother.
Because they felt that I didn't love them.
But my foolish sons, if I didn't love them, why would I give birth to you?
Giving birth to a child is painful.
It hurts so much
that I don't dare to have another daughter.
Although I am very eager for this.
But it doesn't matter. If I can't give birth to one myself, I can adopt one.
It can be said that it was fate when I picked up Anran.
At that time, I suddenly wanted to go to the countryside to experience life.
Then, on the road filled with yellow earth and weeds, I found her sitting on the roadside crying loudly. She
was dirty, but she looked like a delicate and pitiful stray cat, which made people feel distressed.
"Little friend, why are you here? Where are your parents?"
I tried my best to act as a long-legged aunt who was ready to help the child find his parents.
The child just cried and didn't answer me.
I understand her.
She is just a two or three-year-old child. It is a question whether she can speak or not. How can she tell where her parents are?
I picked up a child.
When I came out of the police station for the third time with the sleeping little girl in my arms, I had already fully realized this.
This is not some random cat or dog that can be abandoned at will.
Even if it is a real cat or dog, you must never throw it away casually, it is a life.
Since you picked her up, you have to be responsible for her.
I don't remember who said this to me.
But I think it makes sense, so I took the responsibility.
Raise this child as if she were your own daughter.
I am still raising her outside.
It's quite interesting. Fu Heng didn't raise a woman, but I did raise one, and I raised her with the money he earned.
Although this woman is so cute and adorable that it makes people's hearts melt.
It's not that I haven't thought about taking little Anran home to formally adopt her, but as soon as I mentioned the slightest hint to the children at home, they strongly resisted.
"Mom, you have a brother, aren't you enough?"
I still remember my eldest son staring at me with eyes similar to hers, dark and gloomy.
It almost triggered the panic deep in my heart.
I was very scared, afraid that I would not be a good mother and become like my parents.
It was a nightmare, and I haven't woken up yet.
I gave up. I
'm so sorry.
As compensation, I will help you find your real family, my baby Ranran.
It is definitely not an easy thing to find someone in a vast sea of people.
Fortunately, I have money.
Even better, I did it.
But, I messed up again.
When my beloved daughter, wearing a baggy dress that obviously didn't belong to her, sat in front of me in embarrassment, and
told me in a very small voice that she needed to borrow money to go to school.
I heard my heart bleeding.
The devil roared
I was like an enraged lioness, madly wanting to tear the bastards in the An family who dared to bully my daughter into pieces.
How dare you!
How dare you treat my treasure like this!
But I am a gentle mother.
At least in front of my good daughter.
So I gave her a sum of money to send her abroad to study.
Aunt Qing will solve the rest for you.
Accidents frequently broke out in the An family, and the stock price plummeted.
The scandals of the An family spread throughout the upper class circle overnight and became a joke.
Anyone with a discerning eye could see that they had offended someone.
No one dared to stand up to help them.
Because the people the An family offended were also people they could not afford to offend.
In order to save the family, the eldest son of the An family was urgently recalled.
Qingqing still remembered that child.
He is very handsome, and most importantly, he looks like her Ranran.
Just based on this face, she naturally likes him a little more.
"Your career is much more promising than the dying insect of the An family. There is no need to be dragged to death by this insect."
This is a kind reminder, but also a threat.
It is as easy for me to crush the An family as it is to crush a small insect.
It has been so long that everyone may have forgotten that I was also a top student in the Finance Department of Jinan University.
"Thank you for the reminder, Mrs. Gu, but I am not here to plead for the An family this time." An Yuan said neither humbly nor arrogantly.
"Then what are you here for?"
"Please give me a chance to be a brother."
This is a very smart child, I think.
Smart and clear about his identity, he can see his current situation more clearly.
Well, I have to admit it.
He convinced me.
I agreed to An Yuan's conditions.
Let the An family go, and he personally offered the entire An family to me.
This is of course not for me, I have no use for this insect shell of the An family.
Is it that the property under the name is not enough, or the stocks of Fu's and Gu's are no longer attractive?
But these can improve the status of my baby Ranran.
As my baby, it is inevitable that she will enter the upper social circle in the future.
How to say this circle...
Everyone is well-educated, but there are also some stupid people who look down on others. With the support of the An family, at least my baby can have the capital to stand in front of the public.
I thought about it a lot, but I didn't expect it.
I raised such a big cabbage and it was eaten!
The target is my little piglet, I can't
get angry, I can only hold it in.
Of course, no one cares about an angry fat bird.
I'm not fat, I just have too many feathers and look bloated.
But the snacks Xiao Qingqing gave me were really delicious. I hope she can give me more next time.
After becoming a bird, I found that I couldn't leave my body. The farthest distance I could fly was only one kilometer, and then there was no more.
If I flew beyond one kilometer, I would be tied up by an invisible rope and forcibly pulled back to my body.
After trying a few times, I gave up the struggle.
The main reason was that I found that I could watch a lot of big shows by following Xiao Qingqing.
It was very enjoyable.
Although a lot of the eating ended up on my head, it didn't matter, Xiao Qingqing didn't know anything, and I was just an ignorant little bird.
I really want to speak sweet words.
To my eldest son.
Is it because I failed in my education?
How could this brat do such a wicked thing, leaving a three-year-old child alone in the company? He is so brave.
It must be because I don't beat him enough.
In fact, I haven't beaten the children yet. Now I feel a little regretful. I should have beaten them more when the children were young.
If I had paid more attention to their education, this bastard would not become what he is today.
I am very disappointed. I
am disappointed in my own education, and also disappointed in my children.
As an observer, I could certainly see that there was something wrong with Fu Sijian at that time. His condition was obviously not right. It was
very similar to the appearance of a certain group of people having an attack of illness.
Unfortunately, I didn't know the reason yet and was only paying attention to Xiao Qingqing.
After all, this is me, and she is only three years old.
It's too dangerous.
It really came true.
I flapped my wings anxiously all the way, following the young me closely, chirping desperately, trying to lead her back.
Even if I couldn't walk back to my son's company, I had to at least find a policeman to turn myself in.
Unfortunately, the little girl ignored me. She was determined that she was wrong and wanted to apologize to her eldest son.
Naturally, she lost herself, and even more unsurprisingly, she was caught by a trafficker.
I was tired.
Standing on the top of a car loaded with a group of children, facing the wind and letting my feathers be blown into a mess.
A completely feathered bird.
Why?
Why can't others see me.
For the first time, I felt resentful about my condition.
I even doubted whether the wish I made at the time was really right?
I regretted it a little.
Fu Heng, come and save
me quickly.
I couldn't help but pray in my heart.
It was quite unexpected.
When I was a kid, I was much smarter than I thought.
Run, run!
Come here, I'll show you the way, follow me, run quickly.
I flapped my wings desperately, guiding the two children to flee in the night, with the sound of footsteps gradually approaching behind me.
This scene seemed familiar, and in a trance, I almost recalled the fear I had back then.
Just for a moment.
I was so scared that my brain went blank.
I, I, I... the children...
fell off the cliff!
What would be the outcome of the two children falling off such a high cliff?
The only answer I could give was that they would die.
I didn't realize what happened at all. When I came to my senses, I found that the 'little bird' flew into the air, with its wings spread out like a Kunpeng, covering the sky and the sun.
With a sudden swing, it brought up a gust of cold wind, which swept up all the fallen leaves at the bottom of the cliff and gathered under the two children.
They barely saved their lives.
It was so... shocking!
No, shocking is not enough to describe my mood at this moment.
The three views of materialism that I had held for a long time were completely shattered. Although they had been shattered once after I saw myself shrink, they really couldn't be put together this time.
Even 502 glue couldn't save me. Is this world a fantasy, or am I too ignorant?
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