Chapter 77 First in the City [VIP]
Chapter Summary: Congratulations to Fu Xianyin for achieving the highest score in the city with a total score of 717.
Nighttime, the playground.
Fu Xianyin held her phone, looking at the messages Zhao Chiyuan had sent:
[It is generally not recommended to enter into a close relationship during the recovery period from mental illness. This is because close relationships are often accompanied by emotional fluctuations, frequently negative ones, which are detrimental to the recovery process.]
When people are helpless, they easily develop a dependency when they receive help and assistance, much like a drowning person clinging tightly to a rope. This dependency isn't necessarily bad; as you said, it does help you move forward. But I worry about what will happen if that rope breaks.
[And also...]
Fu Xianyin stared at the chat window, gripping her phone tightly.
Does he know about your situation?
Her fingernails dug into her flesh, and Fu Xianyin felt as if someone was choking her. Her legs trembled, and her whole body went limp.
She took deep breaths, mimicking Zhao Chiyuan's instructions to regulate her breathing.
After an unknown amount of time, Fu Xianyin felt the wind making her cheeks feel cold.
She raised her hand and wiped away her tears.
The words on the phone screen were magnified and distorted by the liquid. Fu Xianyin opened the chat box and sent two messages to Zhao Chiyuan:
He didn't know.
I dare not tell him.
After sending those two messages, she turned off her phone screen. With the light gone, everything in sight was dark again.
She dared not, dared not see any of the messages Zhao Chiyuan sent.
Fu Xianyin suddenly felt weak.
She used to complain that Chen Huimei knew Fu Dongyuan was a scumbag, so why did she still plunge into this vicious cycle and get caught in it?
If she could have trusted her, even just a little, she wouldn't have let Fu Dongyuan waste her life until now.
But now, Fu Xianyin suddenly realized with some despair that she and Chen Huimei were no different.
Even if it's a vicious circle of mud, it's a place Chen Huimei is used to staying in.
She believed she could handle the mess, or at least that she could tolerate it, so she preferred to rot and breed maggots in the mud rather than crawl out and step over the low grass.
And she is the same now.
She had repeatedly denounced herself as a coward, and repeatedly told herself that she could not rely on others or have any expectations.
But look.
No matter how many times it happens, she remains just as cowardly.
Her fingertips seemed to gradually regain some sensation, and she felt someone pinch her.
She looked up and saw Gu Linzhao squatting in front of her, tapping her nose with his fingertip, and chuckling softly as he said:
"Why are you sitting here looking so lost?"
A long string of words caught in his throat.
Fu Xianyin looked at him, into his eyes, and into his own reflection, her own awkward and timid expression.
So she simply said:
"I have a mock exam tomorrow, I'm under a lot of pressure."
Suddenly, a force came from her wrist, and Fu Xianyin was pulled so hard that she stumbled and fell right into Gu Linzhao's arms.
She realized what was happening and hugged Gu Linzhao tightly around the waist.
Actually, she's not a hooligan.
She simply enjoyed physical contact with Gu Linzhao, the more the better.
Whether it's kissing, holding hands, or hugging.
It's as if, through that physical intimacy, a wandering soul can no longer be empty, and a restless heart can find a place to rest.
She could also gain some reliance and dependence through that contact.
Instead of being a drifting duckweed with nothing to rely on.
On the day of the mock exam, Fu Xianyin got up at a moderate pace.
Last night's sleep was neither good nor bad; it wasn't so restful that she felt reluctant to get up but also relieved, nor was it so bad that she felt she had a sleepless night the previous night.
She simply turned off the alarm, calmly washed up, changed her clothes, packed her things, and then went to the cafeteria with Cheng Zhaozhao and Chen Nianke to eat something before heading towards the teaching building.
Before parting ways last night, she refused Gu Linzhao's offer to take her to the exam venue.
The two exam venues were too far apart, and she didn't want Gu Linzhao to make that extra trip.
However, despite making a promise last night, Fu Xianyin still saw that familiar figure at the entrance of the examination hall this morning.
She jogged over, tilted her head back, and said, "Didn't I tell you not to come? It's so far away."
Gu Linzhao said, "The exam hasn't started yet, but I wanted to come and find you."
People were coming and going at the entrance of the examination hall. Fu Xianyin tried her best to resist the urge to hug him and only quietly moved her arm over.
Gu Linzhao knew what she was going to do from her little movements, so he obediently took a step and stood next to Fu Xianyin.
By mid-to-late March, the weather had warmed up, unlike the deep winter when it was so cold that you needed to wear a very thick coat.
When their arms touched, Fu Xianyin could even feel the person next to her move slightly through the fabric of their school uniform.
Using the long sleeves of her school uniform as cover, Fu Xianyin reached out her finger and hooked it around his.
The noisy crowd concealed this secret action. Fu Xianyin felt her fingertips being grasped, enveloped, and then gently caressed.
It's a little itchy.
But it's hard to say whether the itch is in the fingertips or the heart.
Time did not spare them; instead, it urged them to separate.
The crowd at the entrance was slowly pouring into the examination hall. Fu Xianyin gripped his hand, squeezed his fingertips tightly, and said, "The exam is about to start, you should hurry up and go."
She paused, then added, "Come find me after the exam, and we'll go out to eat together."
That's what he said, but Gu Linzhao's hand showed no sign of loosening.
Fu Xianyin sighed, let go of her hand, turned around and took out stationery and review materials from her schoolbag, urging her again:
"Let's go quickly."
They urged me for a long time before I left.
I don't know who was unwilling to leave.
The mock exam was quite difficult, but fortunately, the preparation period was relatively long, unlike the usual monthly exams where time was tight, which especially tested Fu Xianyin's concentration.
With a maximum of two exams a day, Fu Xianyin actually adapted quite well to this workload.
After finishing the first day's Chinese and math exams, Fu Xianyin gradually felt more confident.
Objectively speaking, the questions in this mock exam in Beichuan were not easy, but they were still much better than the hellishly difficult papers that students at No. 1 Middle School usually take.
For Fu Xianyin, the difficulty level is at most considered to be average.
Fu Xianyin felt confident after answering the questions in both the Chinese and Mathematics sections, and she performed well in the subsequent exams as well.
The only two subjects that could possibly be considered bombs, chemistry and biology, also went smoothly. Fu Xianyin knew that chemistry was a weak point, so she wouldn't panic even if she encountered vague or completely unfamiliar knowledge points.
She simply continued working through the questions steadily, one after another, until she had answered them all.
The mock exam ended on a weekend, and all the teachers had to go to the city to grade the papers. The school originally planned to have the teachers of the first and second years of high school come and watch them continue to study. But for some reason, perhaps they felt that these senior students didn't have many good days left, so they changed the weekend to a two-day holiday after the exam.
Students are naturally happy to be able to relax and catch their breath without having to go to school and relieve some of the pressure.
After finishing the last exam in the afternoon, Cheng Zhaozhao was already excitedly thinking about what to do in the next two days.
"The last time I had a break was during the Chinese New Year, which was a month ago. Good heavens, look at me, I haven't had a break for a month, I've been studying this damn thing the whole time."
Cheng Zhaozhao pounded her chest and stamped her feet: "I'm going to have a blast these next two days! I'm going to play like crazy, and nobody can stop me from having fun!"
She turned to Chen Nianke and Fu Xianyin, trying to get some approval from them: "What are you two planning to do this weekend?"
Chen Nianke was still the same as always. She raised one finger and said lazily, "Me? Of course, I'll be sleeping."
Fu Xianyin said, "I'll sleep in tonight, and I should continue studying tomorrow and the day after."
Cheng Zhaozhao said with a long face, "Ugh, I finally have a holiday, and I still have to study."
Fu Xianyin smiled and said, "It's not that hard to get. In a little over a week, we'll have a holiday for Qingming Festival, and a month after that, it's Labor Day. There's also a coming-of-age ceremony in between. A month after Labor Day is the college entrance exam, and then we'll have a three-month break after that."
Cheng Zhaozhao sighed and said, "The top student is indeed different from me."
She asked, "So you're not planning to rest from now until the college entrance exam?"
Fu Xianyin nodded: "Yes, you should study during Qingming Festival, but I can come out to celebrate your birthday on Labor Day."
Cheng Zhaozhao's birthday happens to be on Labor Day, so she's the one among this group who doesn't have to worry about whether her birthday falls on a holiday.
In her words, no matter how the Labor Day holiday is adjusted or which days it falls on, she will always have a wonderful holiday on her birthday.
"Yay!" Cheng Zhaozhao hugged Fu Xianyin tightly, nuzzling her neck like a puppy. She said, "Then let me look forward to a little over a month from now!"
However, the idea of having a blast was just talk. With only two months left until the college entrance exam, even if Cheng Zhaozhao was carefree, she couldn't possibly refrain from having any fun for two days straight.
In the end, the group decided that they would each do their own thing on Saturday and go to a coffee shop to study together on Sunday.
Fu Xianyin originally planned to stay in the dormitory on the weekend and study there on Saturday. However, after thinking about it, she decided to pack her things and leave the school with Cheng Zhaozhao and the others.
As they prepared to go home at the school gate, Gu Linzhao asked her, "Going back to Emerald Bay?"
Fu Xianyin shook her head and said, "Let's go back to the hotel. My dad has a long-term residence there."
Gu Linzhao asked, "The one you took me to before?"
Fu Xianyin nodded, and then heard him say, "Let's go together, it's on the way."
Actually, it's not really on the way.
Fu Xianyin has been in Beichuan for more than half a year and still recognizes the roads she often walks.
Gu Linzhao's home and the hotel are roughly in the same direction, but if you want to take her there first, you'll have to take a slight detour around a few intersections.
The hotel is very close to the school, but it just happened to be rush hour, and the car was stuck in traffic for most of the time.
The two were still holding hands when, just as they were about to turn the corner, Gu Linzhao suddenly asked, "What are you having for dinner tonight?"
Just as Fu Xianyin was about to blurt out "I won't eat tonight," she caught a glimpse of Gu Linzhao's gaze out of the corner of her eye, and the words stuck in her throat, replaced by something else:
"Order takeout, or eat at the hotel."
Gu Linzhao didn't expose her, but just squeezed her knuckles and said, "You have to eat something, even just a couple of bites counts as eating."
Fu Xianyin nodded vaguely.
The car stopped in front of the hotel. Fu Xianyin declined Gu Linzhao's offer to take her home and went back to her room by herself, carrying her schoolbag.
She threw her schoolbag on the sofa, quickly changed into her pajamas, and collapsed onto the bed.
So tired.
I'm so tired.
I didn't do anything, I just took an exam, so why am I so tired?
As night fell, Fu Xianyin, thinking about Gu Linzhao's words, shuffled downstairs in her slippers and ate a few bites. Suddenly, she took out her phone and sent a message to Zhao Chiyuan:
[Dr. Zhao, are you free tomorrow?]
Zhao Chiyuan replied instantly: [I'm free, I'm free, do you want to come over?]
Fu Xianyin: [Is 10 AM okay?]
Zhao Chiyuan: [OK.]
For some unknown reason, Cheng Zhaozhao and Lin Anxu started making childish personal attacks in the group chat. Chen Nianke occasionally sent a couple of emojis to show her presence, but she didn't participate.
Fu Xianyin lay on the bed, idly scrolling through her phone, when she suddenly felt a little empty and weak.
Are these symptoms of depression?
She didn't know.
She simply lay there, staring blankly at the white ceiling, sinking into the soft bed.
It's like a corpse sinking into a swamp.
It wasn't until she stood downstairs at the office building that Fu Xianyin suddenly realized she didn't seem to know what to say to Zhao Chiyuan.
However, adhering to the principles that since she was already there, and that one should have some basic integrity and not stand someone up at the last minute, Fu Xianyin still went upstairs.
This time, Zhao Chiyuan poured her pineapple-flavored tea.
The sweet aroma of pineapple mingled with the bitterness of tea. Fu Xianyin took a sip and exclaimed sincerely, "If you sold tea, you might make more money than doing psychological counseling."
Zhao Chiyuan said solemnly, "Am I doing this to make money? I'm doing it to save people who are suffering in dire straits."
Fu Xianyin gave a thumbs up and said, "Noble."
Zhao Chiyuan smiled, waiting for Fu Xianyin to continue, but the person in front of him just kept drinking tea, showing no intention of starting a new topic.
Zhao Chiyuan tilted his head and said half-jokingly, "So you've come here for tea?"
Fu Xianyin said "Ah" a little embarrassedly. She put down her cup and said, "I originally wanted to say something to you, but when I got downstairs I felt like there wasn't much to say. It wouldn't be right to stand you up, so I came up here."
Zhao Chiyuan said, "Since you're here, let's chat. How are things going with your boyfriend? Have you been feeling better lately?"
Fu Xianyin said, "We get along quite well, but as for our emotions, they're still the same."
She paused, then added, "I thought I was getting better, but when something happens, my heart races, my hands shake, and I can't breathe. But I feel like the overall trend is getting better, which is good."
Zhao Chiyuan raised an eyebrow and said, "Tell me how it's good, so I can be happy too."
Fu Xianyin thought for a moment and said, "It's just that I feel like there's a bit more hope in my life now."
“That’s good.” Zhao Chiyuan looked at her, nodded seriously, and said, “Really, that’s good.”
For Fu Xianyin right now, having some hope, or even more hope, is better than anything else.
The two chatted briefly, and Zhao Chiyuan told her that she could come to him if there were any changes or anything she wanted to say in the future.
He patted his chest and assured me, "Believe me, I really am a good conversationalist."
Zhao Chiyuan may not be a psychological counselor, but he believes he can still help relieve some stress by having a chat.
Fu Xianyin was his first patient, and Zhao Chiyuan was genuinely happy to see that Fu Xianyin was getting better.
After seeing Fu Xianyin off, Zhao Chiyuan happily returned to his room.
As he was about to wash the cup, he suddenly noticed a piece of paper under it. It looked like a blank inquiry form that Fu Xianyin had used to place the cup.
Zhao Chiyuan took the inquiry form away, but then froze.
Underneath the inquiry form were ten red Mao Zedong bills.
It was Fu Xianyin who paid him for psychological counseling.
It was far more than the price he should have received for someone of his caliber.
After a two-day weekend, when school resumed, the numbers on the bulletin board had shrunk again.
The bold, bright red numbers fluttered wildly, like a menacing monster that had chosen the bulletin board as its habitat.
But today, something else is trying to take over its territory.
Mock Exam Results.
Teachers across the city worked overtime for two days to grade the papers and finish the mock exam results before Monday.
Gao Ying didn't even wait for class to start; she announced the results during morning reading.
She held only a report card in her hand, thin and transparent, without any weight, yet it drew everyone's attention.
The moment Gao Ying stood in front of the podium, the entire class fell silent.
Fu Xianyin's fingertips trembled so much that she could barely hold the pen. She lowered her arm and hid it in the loose sleeve of her dress.
Although she knew during the exam that she had performed well and that her grades had definitely improved compared to the end of last semester.
However, when the moment of truth arrived, she couldn't help but feel nervous.
The oversized sleeves of her school uniform completely enveloped her trembling hands.
She was breathing heavily, trying to calm herself down.
Gao Ying's voice came from the podium: "Our class's overall performance in this mock exam was pretty good."
She picked up the report card that was on the table. As the white report card slowly moved upwards, Fu Xianyin felt her heart rise with it.
Suddenly, my trembling hand was enveloped.
Gu Linzhao lowered his arm at some point and took her hand.
There are many people at school, and even though it's common knowledge that the two are dating, it's still not appropriate to do anything too intimate in front of so many people.
Therefore, secretly holding hands under the guise of loose school uniforms is what they do most often.
Her numb fingertips touched Gu Linzhao's warm hand.
For some reason, Fu Xianyin felt her breathing gradually calm down.
She took a deep breath, looked up at Gao Ying, and prepared to receive her own verdict.
The second hand ticked gently on the clock.
Fu Xianyin heard Gao Ying say
"Congratulations to Fu Xianyin for winning first place in the city with a total score of 717."
[Author's Note]
717! Our Yinyin is amazing!
To add, all the psychological information was obtained from online searches. The author is not a professional, so please point out any errors and I will correct them!
Also, dear readers, please don't imitate Yinyin. If you experience any psychological problems, please seek medical attention promptly.
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