Chapter 16 Dependence
Chapter Summary: She is dependent on him
Fu Xianyin walked down the stairs in silence, the boy behind her following her steps, his tall, thin shadow gradually lengthening beside her.
The dark teaching building was incredibly desolate, with only the clatter of Fu Xianyin's little leather shoes as she descended the stairs.
She remained silent, not uttering a single word, but her mind was filled with Gu Linzhao's words: "I'm afraid you'll be lonely."
A cool breeze swept in through the teaching building's main entrance, making Fu Xianyin shiver.
She suddenly realized that Gu Linzhao seemed to be there for her every time she felt down.
The first time the two met was when Fu Xianyin was smoking at the school gate.
Fu Xianyin pressed her cold fingers against her neck, trying to calm her mind and prevent herself from being controlled by her emotions.
A school uniform jacket was handed over, and Gu Linzhao's gentle voice rang out: "Would you like to wear this?"
Fu Xianyin refused without even thinking: "No need."
She's not used to it.
Gu Linzhao didn't persist, but instead asked, "Would you like some mango pomelo sago?"
Fu Xianyin was amused by him.
Does he think mango pomelo sago is some kind of magic potion? He gives it to her whenever he's in a bad mood.
Gu Linzhao seemed to have guessed what she was thinking. He turned to look at her and teased, "After all, it's this late. Buying milk tea at the cafeteria won't get you points deducted, but smoking at the school gate will get you a lot of points deducted."
Fu Xianyin: ...
He was cursing at her, absolutely!
She rubbed her arms, not noticing that the boy was standing diagonally in front of her, blocking the wind.
Fu Xianyin asked, "Is it still open at this hour?"
"I don't know," Gu Linzhao admitted frankly. "I've never been this late before."
Fu Xianyin rolled her eyes at him: "Then why did you drag me along?"
Gu Linzhao found her expression quite amusing.
When the kitten is depressed, its ears droop. Now that it's been comforted, it's started pricking him with its quills without any explanation.
He wasn't angry; he just found it amusing.
So he shrugged and said, "Where do you want to go?"
The bright moonlight shone from behind him, illuminating the stray hairs at the ends of his hair. Gu Linzhao stood against the light, his schoolbag slung over one shoulder, leaning against the doorway.
He hadn't had time to change out of his suit for the performance; he had only unbuttoned the suit jacket and a few buttons on his shirt collar, revealing his delicate collarbone.
He just looked at her like that. He entrusted his entire night to her, both earnestly and casually.
In the cool moonlight, Fu Xianyin noticed a small, inconspicuous mole on his right earlobe.
She stared at the small mole for a long time before saying, "Let's go back to the dorm."
Gu Linzhao seemed somewhat surprised, but he didn't refuse. He raised his chin, as if to say, "Let's go."
By 10:30, the campus was much emptier, with only a few students running on the playground and a few reciting their lessons under the streetlights.
Gu Linzhao remained standing to her left, while Fu Xianyin breathed heavily.
Her breathing became rapid in Gao Ying's office, and her chest felt heavy, as if a stone was lodged in it. But the office and the teaching building were too quiet, so she didn't dare to breathe loudly. Now that she was outside and the noise was louder, she dared to breathe a little more deeply.
The streetlights were bright. Fu Xianyin didn't speak, trying to bring her breathing back to normal. Suddenly, the person next to her stopped.
Gu Linzhao frowned as he looked at her: "Are you feeling unwell?"
He couldn't see clearly in the dim light inside the building, but now, under the streetlights, Gu Linzhao noticed that her face was as white as paper, and her fingertips were completely bloodless. Only her lips still had a trace of red, most likely from lipstick.
Fu Xianyin took a deep breath and said, "I might have low blood sugar. I'll eat something when I get back to my dorm later."
Gu Linzhao subtly changed the subject: "When I returned the microphone, Teacher Chen said that your microphone was a spare and wasn't connected to the control panel."
"Also," he paused, "I told Teacher Chen that the lighting in the spot where you were standing was wrong. Teacher Chen reviewed the performance record and found that the lighting was indeed wrong."
Fu Xianyin was not surprised and calmly said, "Someone is trying to frame me."
The stage lights are all pre-set, and the backstage order is quite chaotic during the performance. It's not impossible for someone to sneakily adjust the lights while the chaos is in the air.
The image of Song Yaoge in front of the curtain, looking somewhat hurried, flashed through her mind.
Gu Linzhao nodded: "Yes, I told Teacher Chen I'd like to ask for your opinion. Should we check the surveillance footage?"
“No need.” Fu Xianyin shook her head: “I didn’t fall off the stage, and Teacher Chen didn’t scold me for ruining the show. I didn’t suffer any real loss from this incident.”
"Moreover," Fu Xianyin said calmly, "I made a big splash tonight, and I don't want to make any more splashes before the monthly exam."
Gu Linzhao neither said yes nor no. He only said, "If you change your mind, tell me and I'll talk to Teacher Chen."
He actually wants her to find out who wants to get back at her?
Fu Xianyin quietly added another point to Gu Linzhao: her deskmate was not only kind, but also bursting with a sense of justice.
"Good morning, Yinyin."
Cheng Zhaozhao, with a steamed bun in her mouth and a cup of soy milk in her hand, plopped down in Gu Linzhao's seat. Looking at Fu Xianyin, who was summarizing her notes, she said, "I originally wanted to come with you every day, but you come so early, I really can't get up."
Fu Xianyin circled the key points with a red pen and said, "The monthly exam is coming soon, and I can't sleep since 6 a.m.
Cheng Zhaozhao: "Then what do you eat for breakfast? You don't eat bread every morning, do you?"
She counted on her fingers: "You eat bread in the morning, sometimes you eat bread at noon while doing practice problems, and sometimes you don't eat anything at night. How can you do that?"
"No." Fu Xianyin smiled. "I really don't eat bread every meal."
She usually doesn't eat breakfast.
Fu Xianyin had this problem for a long time; she loved to eat delicious food and had particular taste preferences. However, the contradiction was that she didn't like to eat proper meals. At first, she would get hungry, and if she couldn't stand it anymore, she would eat some bread or something to fill her stomach. Now, Fu Xianyin felt that she had become very insensitive to hunger.
Cheng Zhaozhao: "I don't believe it. How about this, from now on, if I go to the cafeteria to buy steamed buns or soy milk in the morning, I'll bring you a serving too."
Just then, Gu Linzhao and Lin Anxu came in through the back door. Cheng Zhaozhao didn't give Fu Xianyin a chance to refuse, and ran off with the steamed bun in her mouth.
"It's settled then."
Lin Anxu didn't know what Cheng Zhaozhao was talking about, but Gu Linzhao knew perfectly well.
He glanced at Fu Xianyin: "Didn't eat breakfast again?"
"have eaten."
Fu Xianyin took out half a red bean bun from the desk drawer and waved it at Gu Linzhao.
This red bean bun would just be a snack during breaks for Lin Anxu, but for his deskmate, half of it would be breakfast.
It really is a cat, eating cat food.
Fu Xianyin had no idea what Gu Linzhao was thinking.
After returning to her dorm last night, she spent a long time sorting out her emotions.
I felt uncomfortable when I was stared at, but after I went back to my dorm and processed it myself, it wasn't a big deal.
What made Fu Xianyin feel uneasy was her attitude towards Gu Linzhao.
She knew she was an absolute egoist, and she had inherited the selfishness of Fu Dongyuan and Chen Huimei completely. She rarely felt guilty and considered herself to have a very low moral bottom line.
Therefore, she feels that Gu Linzhao is kind and has a strong sense of justice. She is very sensitive to this because she herself does not have it at all.
If it were her, it wouldn't matter if her deskmate was sad, it wouldn't matter if her deskmate couldn't solve a problem, and even if her deskmate really couldn't think straight and jumped into the river in the rain, all Fu Xianyin could do was raise her hand and call 110 for help.
She was emotionally detached and closed-off; Fu Xianyin felt she could never do something like helping others or giving roses.
She always felt that Gu Linzhao was a useful tutor to her, and she never felt guilty about taking up his time when she asked him questions.
But yesterday, when Gu Linzhao asked her where she wanted to go, she instinctively wanted Gu Linzhao to accompany her around the school.
This is not right, this is very wrong.
She didn't want to admit it, but she had no choice but to.
She developed feelings for Gu Linzhao that could be described as "habit" and "dependence".
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