Chapter 205 Progress
Xu Que said, "When I was a child, my worries were wanting to eat lollipops and watch cartoons. If I couldn't get them, I would cry and make a fuss with my parents. When I grew up, my worries were three thousand strands of troubles, a tangled mess of unspoken words."
“Yes, as we mature, we learn to bury our secrets in our hearts and never speak them out easily again,” Xu Que’s wife echoed, twirling a lock of hair from her forehead around her index finger as she played with it.
However, even the strongest person has moments when they can't hold on any longer; even if they're used to enduring it all alone, they still yearn to have someone to confide in.
Hou is a seemingly invincible girl. During those years of drifting, she was used to solving all difficulties on her own, from saving money to buy a house and change jobs to repairing home appliances and paying water bills. She handled everything.
Many people admire her, and even more like her, but she has always remained single. When asked why, she said, "I'm waiting for someone I can confide in late at night."
At that time, Xu Que did not understand, but now he finally understands her intentions.
Life's ups and downs make us hesitant to give our hearts to others easily, because you don't know if the other person is sincere in return, or if they're just sharing your secrets as a joke.
So sometimes, people wear masks when facing those around them, playing the role of a strong, invulnerable person, like a hedgehog with hard, dense quills, but beneath the armor lies a soft and warm heart.
People often confide their innermost thoughts to strangers. Sometimes, people would rather confide in a stranger than show the slightest vulnerability to someone they know.
Therefore, finding someone trustworthy is really important; having a confidant or partner to confide in is even more precious.
A thousand words cannot compare to a single glance; before I even uttered a word, you understood.
"Actually, there really aren't any people like that! Besides, all you girls do is make your lovers or partners guess what you're thinking all day long! It must be really tiring for a man!" Xu Que said in a slightly joking tone.
Hou gave a dismissive "tsk" with a hint of reproach, then retorted, "So how did you do that? I think you're pretty good! You always seem to know what I'm thinking! Sometimes you're like a mind reader! Tell me how you do it!"
"Uh! What?! How could you possibly guess that?! Do you remember the days before the apocalypse? I got beaten up a lot because I couldn't figure out what you were thinking! You can only guess what happened recently, right?" Xu Que said without any hesitation.
"I think the reason you feel this way is because you've changed inside yourself and are able to accept me. To put it simply, you've fallen in love with me, which is why you feel this way! Haha... Actually, I didn't do anything! In the end, we have to thank the apocalypse to some extent!" Xu Que said calmly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Xu Que used to fear most the words his wife often said: "You don't understand me, figure it out yourself. Don't you know what you've done?"
Whenever he thinks about these things, he racks his brains, and suddenly he comes up with something. He runs to her as if he's been granted a pardon, only to be told, "I'm really disappointed in you. How could you not think of something so simple? Your emotional intelligence is so low!" Then she leaves him looking at her with a completely bewildered expression.
Often, this process repeats itself for months or even years. The result is that the person being guessed becomes increasingly disappointed in the person guessing, while the person guessing, because they are always being rejected, becomes increasingly unsure of where they went wrong and loses their judgment. Furthermore, the person guessing also becomes hesitant and anxious for fear of guessing wrong and upsetting their partner.
Back then, Xu Que was clever enough to figure out a quick way to solve similar problems: buy gifts, send red envelopes, and add a line like, "I'm so clumsy, thank you for your hard work, my dear wife!" But the problem remained unsolved; the lack of communication was simply cleverly masked.
Xu Que had discussed this issue with his wife at that time, trying to reason with her. His intention wasn't to bombard their emotions, relationship, and marriage with lectures or道理 (moral principles), but rather to help them better understand their current dynamic. He hoped that this would prompt some reflection and potentially help them both live a better life in the present.
Xu Que often said to his wife, "If you can understand what the other person means with just a glance, if you only say half of what you mean, and if the other person knows what to do, or if you don't say anything and the other person understands what you're thinking, that's a very tacit and telepathic state. It's not that this state is unattainable, but it really takes a long time to achieve!"
In Xu Que's wife's mind, if the other person can always guess her thoughts, it will make her think that "the other person understands her and knows her, and then her thoughts will change to the other person being the right one..." At the same time, this will also bring about a kind of self-extension, as if the other person is the embodiment of her own shadow, making her feel more in control of the life in front of her.
It seems like this feeling is indeed nice, but putting aside whether the other person understands her or not, when they pursue this kind of understanding, does it also indicate that people at that time actually lack confidence in this relationship and need to constantly tell themselves that the person in front of them is the right one?
In reality, the person being guessed is always in a "judge's" position. If they can guess correctly, they feel happy and think you are a good person; if they can't guess correctly, they are unhappy and will think it is their responsibility, "You didn't do what you were supposed to do!"
In fact, everyone has a lot of things in their inner world, and many of these things cannot be told to outsiders. From another perspective, these things also become part of a person's sense of security.
After all, no one has ever seen anyone casually grab someone and confide in them, nor has anyone ever seen anyone easily reveal their true feelings.
Those friends who hope you guess right don't necessarily not want to communicate or share their true feelings with you; rather, they hope for a safer way to communicate with you where "I don't say anything, but you understand."
She has high expectations of you and hopes that you are the right person so that her insecurities can find a place to rest.
Ultimately, absolute understanding and empathy are not permanent. This guessing game exhausts both the other person and yourself.
"Of course, this is not to deny that you have indeed met someone who understands you very well. I just hope that through the above nagging, you can understand yourself better, and then stop closing yourself off so much. You can have the courage to tell me your inner thoughts in detail, form a real communication, have enough security, and see more of the other person's value, instead of being limited to whether the other person guesses correctly," Xu Que said to his wife.
Actually, that makes sense. During this time in the apocalypse, Xu Que's wife never made him guess her thoughts; she just said what she was thinking directly.
Yes, nothing in this world is truly permanent.
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