Chapter 4
Before Tezuka went to Munich, we sat on a bench in Odaiba Park and watched the sunset. The artificial seaside was against the backdrop of tall buildings that had lit up early in the distance. It was a city that cut the sky into pieces. I didn't like this incomplete and pieced-together feeling.
When I said, "You should come to Fujisawa again," Tezuka Kunimitsu, quite unusually, interrupted me, saying, "I remember the sunset I saw from your balcony was beautiful."
"Then I'll come back when you return to China." I kicked a pebble under my feet. The weather was still warm in spring, and it was a bit chilly in the evening. I zipped up my coat and put my hands in my pockets. When Tezuka heard me say I was going back to China, he paused for half a second. I knew that this person who was now eager to fly away probably had no idea what the next time he would return to China would be like.
So, being very understanding, I asked again, "Is the flight the day after tomorrow afternoon?"
This time he answered very readily: "Yes, three o'clock in the afternoon."
His hair must have been recently trimmed, as the ends were a bit short and bounced up at the back of his head when the wind blew. I was a little curious about how it felt, so I couldn't resist touching it. Tezuka dodged me slightly, just like when we were kids, and then calmly returned to his original spot, completely unconcerned about my hand.
"I imagine your former club members must have thrown you a farewell party, Tezuka-sama," I said, knowing when to stop and not touching his hair anymore. "To be honest, you're much more popular than I thought."
"I do have friends," Tezuka sighed silently, then called my name, "Sanae."
"What's wrong?" I turned to look at him.
"Do you believe that names have weight?" This wasn't the first time I'd heard Tezuka say this, but I never expected to hear the same thing so frequently from a group of people who were completely from a different world than me.
Of course, if I really considered this a problem, I might, like a bookworm, open Shakespeare's Henry IV and point to the line "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown" to explain the meaning of "heavy is the head that wears a crown".
But I know that Tezuka didn't want the answer from me. It was only because I was the one without a "name" that he spoke to me without any reservations about the question he had about himself, just like others like him.
During my New Year's shrine visit this year, I ran into the school's tennis club. I went up to them and wished them a Happy New Year, but I noticed that Sanada and Yagyu had very subtle expressions on their faces. I don't know what words to use to describe it, but the two of them had the same expression.
"You two robbed a bank together last night..." I asked suspiciously.
"We might as well rob a bank." Yagyu glanced at me, then lowered his head to write the ema in his hand.
Sanada frowned, then nodded in agreement.
Maybe something terrible really happened yesterday that I don't know about. I uncapped my pen and wrote a wish on the ema (votive plaque) that was similar to what I wrote in previous years. After I finished writing, I tiptoed over to see what Sanada had written.
"Stay true to your original aspirations?" I read it aloud.
Sanada immediately blocked it, hanging it at the highest point where I could never reach it. Then I walked down the mountain with the rest of the group. He walked beside me, watching me give him those inquisitive looks that seemed to say, "Tell me." Finally, probably unable to bear it any longer, he replied, "We attended an engagement party yesterday."
"Engaged?" I repeated.
"I remember she's someone you know." Sanada loosened the scarf around his neck.
"It's hard to believe this is the Heisei era," Yagyu added. "The Katakura family are our classmates."
It was only later that I belatedly realized that the "Katagura family" they were talking about was actually my close friend, Minami Katakura, who studied at Hyotei University. The only thing I knew about her family was that they were very wealthy. The Ootori family, the Oshitari family, and the Atobe family, which they also mentioned, were all outside my knowledge. In the end, the only adjective I could use to describe them was still "wealthy."
Katagura Shizuo used his daughter as a bargaining chip to marry into the Ootori family and win the votes in the director election. In the process, he completely dispelled the Oshitari family's idea of returning to the East Imperial Hospital. This sounds like something out of a TV drama, especially since the Yagyu family seems to be in the pharmaceutical industry. When he talks about it, it sounds like something he would experience.
I am well aware of the irreversible differences in status and position that exist in this world. I can even talk at length about the concept of capital in the context of political-business collusion, as if I were an extremely clear-headed person.
Just because I am classmates with Yagyu and Sanada, I subconsciously consider them to be in the same world as me. But in fact, before they became Sanada Genichiro and Yagyu Hiroshi, they were first and foremost "Sanada family" and "Yagyu family", which created a gap between them and me from the very beginning.
"A name carries great weight," Sanada said, "so you can't afford to relax for even a second."
I can understand this statement logically, but I can never understand it empirically. That was my answer to Tezuka.
"This is the best," Tezuka said, looking into my eyes. Through his glasses, I could read his unexpected sincerity. "I hope you will always be Sanae Okada."
At that time, I didn't understand that I was actually always envied by these people who I thought could get whatever they wanted with just a reach of their hand. I looked up at them from a high place, so I never gave up. As for them, they were just looking at a hard worker without a "name," who was standing in their world, taking one step after another, walking firmly and unwaveringly.
Originally, I should have had no connection with that world. I never intended to join the so-called high society, and I had no longing for that kind of life. My mission has always been simply to be "Okada Sanae." Becoming myself was far too easy for me. However, from the moment I spoke to Tezuka Kunimitsu to becoming his only disciple, I could no longer be a purely "nameless" person. Now, or even into the future, everything I do is, in a sense, a substitute. I am accepting everything that originally belonged to Tezuka Kunimitsu, but this does not include a grandfather's expectations for his grandson.
"Guoguang, could you please stop looking at me with that pitying gaze?" I laughed. "I'm not doing what Master originally asked you to do; this is something I want to do, but it just happens to be something you don't want to do."
As I spoke, he turned his head to hide his expression, but I still caught it. I put my arm around his shoulder, raised an eyebrow, and said, "No matter what, we're friends who've been through thick and thin together. Doesn't this prove that we were destined to meet? Stop, don't say thank you. I'm just benefiting from your fame, Tezuka-sama."
Tezuka shook his head slightly, revealing a hint of resistance. He really didn't like the nickname, but I did.
Two days later, around 3 a.m., I received his last email before he left. At that time, I was in the student council office of the middle school with Tomokazu Katakura, giving the new president his final words of advice before graduation.
For a long time, I have been averse to concepts related to words like "fate," such as destiny or talent, but I still want to say thank you for meeting me.
I checked the email address twice, and it was indeed Tezuka Kunimitsu, whom I knew. I blinked, smiled, and looked up at the sky. How could this person say such touching things?
As for now, it's the end of August.
Two hours ago, I was in the teachers' office. My homeroom teacher asked me to prepare a speech for the opening ceremony a week from now, about my future self.
When I got back, I stood on the balcony of my room and carefully watched the sunset that I had promised Tezuka to watch again when I returned to Japan. I went through the topics of "future" and "myself" in my mind, but I found that I didn't really have any answers. At that time, I still didn't know whether what I wanted to do was completely in line with my master's expectations.
When Tezuka Kunimitsu began to emerge in the youth tennis world, much like the son of the famous samurai Nanjiro, almost everyone who knew I was Tezuka Kuniichi's disciple assumed I would walk the path of the elite group [1]. It was as if it were an unquestionable event recorded on the future timeline; someone had to carry the name "Tezuka" in that world—it was destined. Many people probably wouldn't understand this, no, Sanada should understand a bit, since he was in the same situation as Tezuka.
To put it bluntly, this is a law of chickens begetting chickens and dogs begetting dogs.
The entire upper echelon of the Metropolitan Police Department and its elite youth group essentially form a network of connections across generations. I don't believe that the fact that Sanada Genichiro's older brother became the youngest criminal investigator in Kanagawa Prefecture has nothing to do with Sanada Genichiro. And I gradually realized that while I jokingly referred to myself as a tool of the Tezuka family, I was gaining countless opportunities that I wouldn't have had simply as "Okada Sanae."
I knew very well that as long as I followed this path, my master would give me all his support. But I knew even more clearly that, more than that emblem [2], more than that sense of justice, what I was always more interested in was the answer to every question and the truth of every event. If I hadn't already made up my mind, I think studying media-related majors in the future wouldn't be bad either. As I pondered, the last rays of sunset were swallowed by the night. I spread out a piece of paper, twirled the pencil in my hand, and wrote down the title.
The fall semester for first-year high school students began on the first day of September. Even though it was past the start of autumn, Fujisawa City still felt the warmth of summer. I arrived at the auditorium fifteen minutes early, my forehead beaded with sweat from running. The second-year students in the student council office were adjusting the microphones and speakers, while Sanada, the only first-year student in the office, was backstage confirming the order of performances. I was the last one to arrive.
"After Principal, it should be you, Okada." Sanada gestured for me to stand a little further forward.
"Okay," I replied, then muttered to myself, "It's so hot."
Sanada, who was about to walk away, stopped in his tracks, took out a plain handkerchief from his school uniform pocket, and silently stuffed it into my hand. Before I could say thank you, I was interrupted by the footsteps of the person testing the lights above my head. I raised my hand to wipe the sweat that had slid down my forehead, and gently closed my eyes to recall what I had prepared.
Like me, Liu Sheng was in the External Relations Department of the Student Union. This time, he was only responsible for some trivial matters of the opening ceremony. The task of turning the pages of the presentation was his. Standing in the corner, he saw me loosening my tie and exhaling because of the heat. He turned around, greeted the senior behind him, and turned down the air conditioning in the backstage area by two degrees.
After Principal Yoshizawa finished his speech, I walked onto the stage under everyone's gaze. I was not nervous, but I was not so calm either. As I had done in my previous speeches, I first found three fixed points where I could place my eyes at any time: left, center, and right, and then I bowed deeply.
"Good morning, teachers and students. I am Sanae Okada from Class 1-A of Grade 11."
I naturally looked to my left, raised my arm to indicate the large screen, and Yagyu, who was sitting at the computer on the left, clicked the mouse.
"Today I want to talk about what you will eventually become."
Note:
1. The elite group, also known as the professional group, refers to high-ranking officials who pass the national civil service examination (Class A) and are recruited by the National Police Agency. After graduating from university, they immediately become police inspectors and continue to hone their skills through training and police station duties. It takes about two years and three months to be promoted to police superintendent. The total number of police officers in Japan is approximately 220,000, of which fewer than 500 are in the elite group.
2. The cherry blossom badge worn by Japanese police officers on their right breast, also known as the Asahi Shadow.
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