Chapter 188 I Want You to Live
On the third day of coma, Xiyan's eyelashes trembled in the morning light, and she finally slowly opened her eyes.
The tassels on the gilded tent hooks swayed gently in the breeze, and the aroma of agarwood reached her nose, transporting her back to several months ago.
At that time, she was injured by Chu Jin and woke up in this room. She clearly remembered that this was the bedroom of Crown Prince Helian Feng.
"woke up?"
A gentle voice wrapped in a smile fell, Xiyan turned her head and bumped into Helian Feng's spring-like eyes.
There was a dark tint under his eyes, and it was obvious that he had not slept for several days. His hair was loosely tied up, and a few strands of hair hung in front of his forehead, making him look more worldly than usual.
He reached out to prop up her pillow, and when his fingertips touched her forehead, he suddenly chuckled:
"The fever is gone, and I'm finally willing to open my eyes."
A bitter taste rose in Xiyan's throat, and her consciousness was suddenly pulled back to before she fell into coma. She remembered Xiao Nanyan's words: "This is something that I have long been tired of playing with. If Your Highness the Crown Prince does not mind, you can take her away."
Those words, like a nightmare, tormented her for three whole days and made her unwilling to wake up again.
"Why...save me?"
She spoke in a hoarse voice, as light as a feather, but it made Helian Feng's heart feel heavy.
Her eyes were as empty as stagnant water, no longer as lively as when we first met.
Helian Feng's hand holding the spoon stopped in mid-air, and his face reflected in the lotus seed soup suddenly became solemn.
He saw the despair in her eyes and understood that the place that man held in her heart had made her lose all desire to live.
"Because you deserve to live!"
He heard his voice become muffled, and the spoon lightly knocked against the edge of the bowl, splashing soup and scalding his fingertips:
"Now, you are my own, and I want you to live well!"
Xiyan turned her head to look at him, tears condensing under her eyelashes, but refusing to fall.
She remembered the cold smile on Xiao Nanyue's lips when he gave her to Helian Feng, as if he was looking at an object that he was tired of playing with.
Now the object was held in the palm of the new owner's hand, but she didn't even have the strength to raise her hand to take it.
"What's the point of living?"
She asked softly, "Your Highness, why are you so kind to me? I don't deserve it..."
Helian Feng suddenly put down the bowl, and the porcelain spoon splashed water in the bowl.
He reached out and clasped her wrist, feeling the pale blue veins throbbing there, his eyes burning:
"Who said you don't deserve it? You're a good girl."
Xiyan didn't dare to look directly into Helian Feng's fiery gaze. She wanted to pull her hand back, but he held it even tighter.
The wind outside the tent lifted the gauze curtains, revealing a parrot cage hanging outside the window. The bird was imitating her previous question:
"Why save me, why save me?"
"I regret it!"
Helian Feng's voice suddenly became hoarse, and he stroked her wrist with his fingertips:
"I regret that I didn't keep you when Xiao Nanyan came to my house to snatch me away last time. I also regret that I wasn't brave enough to take you under my wings three days ago, causing you to suffer so much humiliation."
She looked up suddenly and met the dark tide surging in his eyes.
The man in front of her was His Royal Highness the Crown Prince of Tianqi, the enemy she had once desperately tried to assassinate.
But it was also he who saved himself in such an embarrassing situation.
Xiyan bit her lower lip, but couldn't resist the soreness in her eyes.
She was in the Prince's Mansion and her life was saved, but why... she still felt an emptiness in her chest, as if someone had cut out a piece of it, and even breathing was painful.
The body naturally felt pain as well. If I moved slightly, my ribs would feel as if they were being cut by a knife.
Helian Feng quickly laid her body flat:
"You are very weak and need to recuperate for a while. Don't overthink it. Get well soon. That's more important than anything else."
Xiyan nodded slightly and slowly closed her eyes, blocking the burning concern in Helian Feng's eyes. However, his words "I want you to live" still lingered in her throat.
The fingertips under the quilt curled up unconsciously.
"Sleep a little longer."
Helian Feng's voice mixed with the chirping of cicadas outside the window. A cool handkerchief was placed on his forehead, carrying his unique cedar scent:
"When you feel better, I'll take you to see the water lilies in Taiye Pond."
Xiyan pretended not to hear him, and only when she heard his footsteps gradually fade away did she dare to loosen her clenched fists.
The nails carved crescent-shaped marks on the palm of my hand, mixed with cold sweat, the pain kept me awake.
Once, Xiao Nanyan’s words were like a knife cutting into the bone: Once the Chi Zhong Gu enters your body, you are my person, and your life or death depends on my decision!
Xiao Nanyue gave her to Helian Feng. Although it is not known whether it is true or not, given his personality, he would never give up like this.
Now this body is no longer her own. She really wants to get rid of the poison, hide in a place where no one can find her, and live a peaceful life.
Xiyan slowly opened her eyes, stared at the tassels on the top of the tent, and sighed softly.
How could she not see Helian Feng's feelings? But, between them, it was even more impossible.
Not to mention that her unclean body was not worthy of the prince. He was about to marry Su Wan, and his identity was that of the future emperor. As a mere maid, she would never have such extravagant hopes.
Neither Xiao Nanyue nor Helian Feng would promise her that they would be together for the rest of their lives.
So, she desperately wanted to live for herself...
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