Chapter 267 (Additional) I hope we won’t meet again in the next life
At this moment, Su Xianrou's thoughts drifted back to the past:
She remembered the oil-paper umbrella Xiao Beicheng used to shield her from the rain, the medicine he warmed for her to keep her healthy late at night, and the way he held her in his arms and said over and over again, "Rou'er, I will never let you down in this life."
It was him who had harbored the intention of exploitation and revenge since the day he married her. He was also the husband she loved deeply, but he betrayed her during the marriage and had an affair with her own sister and had a daughter.
Su Xianrou's eyes were as empty as a dry well. Her former gentleness had been completely devoured by the deep despair.
She first looked at Helian Cong, a faint light flashing in her tearful eyes:
"Brother Cong..."
The call was as light as a feather, but it made Helian Cong tremble all over, as if he had instantly returned to their youth.
She was still a girl with twin buns, and he had not yet put on a heavy crown:
"I know you were sincere to me back then." Her voice was so soft:
"I once truly loved you and gave birth to Yan'er for you... But ever since the day I married Bei Cheng, all that has turned to rotten soil, and our relationship is completely over."
Helian Cong's lips trembled, but he had no answer.
How could he not know in his heart that although Su Xianrou looked weak, she was very stubborn in her heart. If she decided to give up, he would never be able to get her back in this lifetime.
Twenty-three years ago, the moment he agreed to the old emperor's marriage, he lost her completely.
The past twenty years have been his own obsession.
Su Xianrou slowly turned her head, her eyes fell on her son and Xiyan beside him, and she smiled slightly:
"Yan'er, in the past, mother was worried that you would be harmed by your sister. She thought that was protecting you, but mother was foolish. Xiyan is a good girl. If you really like her, then don't let her down."
Xiyan's heart trembled slightly. How could the concubine say such irrelevant words on this battlefield?
Xiao Nanyan's thin lips trembled, but he didn't say a word in the end.
Finally, Su Xianrou finally looked at Xiao Beicheng.
The sunset glow fell on her face, staining the traces of her tears blood-red, yet her smile was so poignant and beautiful, like azaleas blooming on a cliff. For a moment, people seemed to see again the elegance of the most beautiful woman in Kyoto back then:
"Bei Cheng, you said you wanted revenge on me, and now you've won. Just think about how ridiculous I am. I've been a foolish woman for more than twenty years in your elaborate scam."
She laughed softly, her slender fingertips stroking her heart, her laughter filled with shattered despair:
"You ripped this heart out of my head and roasted it in a frying pan. Now it's finally breaking."
Xiao Beicheng stood with his arms folded, a cruel smile on his lips:
"Broken? I thought your heart, which had been beating for Helian Cong, had become numb."
He took a step forward, his boots crushing the light and shadows on the ground, staring at Su Xianrou's still beautiful and demure face with a look of disdain:
"Back then, you chose Helian Cong and rejected me. Have you ever thought about how it felt to stand in the rain and watch you two embrace? Later, when you were abandoned by Helian Cong and became pregnant with his child, you used me as a safe haven. Now I am simply repaying the humiliation you inflicted on me tenfold."
"So, Lian Yan'er..." Su Xianrou's eyes fell on Xiao Nanyan, and she choked with sobs:
"You even took advantage of him and made him kill his own father with his own hands. Do you hate me that much?"
Xiao Beicheng looked disdainful, stabbing Su Xianrou in the heart:
"Hate? It means I care. To me, all the women in your Su family are just bitches."
The last bit of hope in Su Xianrou's heart suddenly died.
It turned out that she had mistakenly believed that the hatred he had nurtured for more than twenty years was only because he still had feelings for her. Now it seems that she was just deceiving herself.
Su Xianrou suddenly felt very tired, so tired that she could no longer hold on to any strength. She slowly closed her eyes:
"This... is good. I finally don't have to guard your spirit tablet anymore, living in longing for you every day. I think I've redeemed the sins I should have. I'm free now."
She took a last look at the setting sun in the sky. The blood-red sunset looked very much like the fiery red wedding dress that Xiao Beicheng had put on her that year.
But this time, she finally understood:
Some love is like a poisoned knife from the beginning;
Some dreams, once you wake up, are irreversible.
And she, Su Xianrou, ultimately exchanged her lifelong delusion for this bloody ending woven of love and hate.
She slowly took out the sandalwood hairpin from her hair, and stroked the line of small words engraved on the hairpin with her fingers: The hairpin is destined to be my wife, and we will never leave each other in this life.
She held the hairpin in her palm and looked up at Xiao Beicheng, a trace of sadness welling up in her eyes:
"You said that this hairpin was carved by you personally and given to your beloved wife, so that we can be together forever..."
Her voice was as fragile as a candle in the wind:
"Bei Cheng, do you know? Ever since I married you, I've not only been grateful to you, but I've also wholeheartedly wanted to love you well, and I've truly done it. I only love you."
Xiao Beicheng's hard brows trembled slightly, and a trace of light ripples flashed in his eyes, but was quickly covered by ice:
"Love me? If you love me, would you meet Helian Cong twice in private?"
Su Xianrou's eyes froze for a moment, then she understood. In the twenty-odd years since their marriage, she had only met Helian Cong privately twice: once at Fenyin Temple for Yan'er's marriage, and once when Helian Cong broke into the Spring Pavilion in the palace. However, she felt that both of those encounters with Helian Cong were innocent.
The innocent are innocent. If a person's eyes are dirty, what he sees will also be dirty.
"So, in your heart, I am such a lowly woman."
Su Xianrou smiled bitterly, and stroked the tip of the hairpin with her fingertips, where there were still fine marks from Xiao Beicheng's polishing.
"How I wish I had followed 'Xiao Beicheng' when he was buried eight years ago. At least I could have deceived myself into dying in the year when we were 'most in love' with each other, instead of being like this now, with my heart broken by you. If my heart is already broken, what's the point of keeping it?"
Su Xianrou's eyes suddenly became stern, filled with a cruelty she had never had before.
Then, without waiting for anyone to react, she suddenly turned her wrist and stabbed the tip of the sandalwood hairpin into her chest!
Although the sandalwood hairpin was not as sharp as a knife, it was pierced into her chest with her desperate strength.
That was the infatuation she had accumulated for more than twenty years. Once it was crushed by the truth, she made a final counterattack with all her life's strength.
"Mother!"
"Rou'er!"
Xiao Nanyue's cry of grief and Helian Cong's roar of shock sounded at the same time.
When the two men rushed forward, Su Xianrou had already fallen down limply.
Blood foamed at the corners of her lips, and she was so heartbroken that she felt numb. She didn't even feel a single thing even though her heart was pierced.
A pair of tearful eyes locked onto her son, and she used up her last bit of strength to say something that only the three of them could hear:
"Yan'er...don't, don't kill him..."
A mouthful of blood suddenly gushed out, staining her plain clothes red.
"Mother, is it worth it for him?"
"Rou'er, why are you so stupid!"
Su Xianrou looked at the shock and pain in Xiao Nanyue's eyes, then glanced at Helian Cong's trembling eyes, revealing a faint smile.
In the end, without even looking at the trembling gray shadow not far away, he closed his eyes forever like silent falling snow.
Helian Cong, Xiao Beicheng...
I hope we won’t meet again in the next life.
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