Chapter 54 The Eastern Palace.
She still remembered his gloomy face and reddened eyes as he almost gritted his teeth and asked her, "Liu Lingyi, are you playing me?!"
The way he looked at her made it seem like he wanted to devour her.
How scary!
Lingyi became increasingly certain that such a terrifying person could never be her husband!
only......
Looking at her face in the mirror, she still had the familiar eyebrows and eyes, but it was clearly marked by the passage of time.
She no longer looks like she's fourteen or fifteen years old.
So, she really did lose several years' worth of memories, and he might really be her husband.
At first, she found it hard to believe.
Throughout the journey, he treated her with utmost courtesy and consideration, almost to the point of being indulgent.
Lingyi wasn't sure if this description was accurate, since no one had ever indulged her.
The Crown Prince treats her very well, but that's because she's obedient and well-behaved. She always says what he wants to hear and tries her best to please him subtly.
Aunt Liu Cui doted on her, but both of them depended on others for their livelihood and had no right to spoil her.
Then there's Xie Yu. She knows he likes her, but he's the renowned Xie family's handsome young master, praised by everyone in the capital. He also hopes she can become like his sister, the Crown Princess, proficient in all the arts—music, chess, calligraphy, and painting—to match him. He always wants to teach her, but she's unwilling to learn. He can't do anything about it and can only let her be.
But this person seems to have no demands on her, and is inexplicably kind to her.
Even though he was injured while traveling, he still took care of her daily needs himself. Although he wasn't very skilled at it, he was very attentive.
In the beginning, he even brought her the water for washing up himself, and tested the water temperature before giving it to her.
She has only lost part of her memory, not her mind. How could she not distinguish between hot and cold? She doesn't need someone with only one arm to take care of her like this.
Wherever they went, he would find local delicacies for her, and whenever he had free time, he would have her put on a veil and go for a stroll in the streets.
He himself simply followed silently behind her, fetching money and carrying things, and aside from asking her if she was tired, he said almost nothing else.
If they weren't husband and wife, how could he know her tastes and preferences so thoroughly?
The princess, who had never left the palace, was surprisingly fond of shopping; even she herself had only just found out.
She herself has become strange. Despite being a princess, pampered and precious, she has always taken only a few bites of food before clearing the table. But now, she always feels guilty when she can't finish her food. Without him even asking, he will finish all the leftovers so that she doesn't feel guilty and can still enjoy the delicious food.
When he first drank the leftover porridge from her, she blushed with embarrassment.
He acted so naturally, as if he had done it a thousand times before, and comforted him, saying, "We are husband and wife, these things are just normal."
Of all the couples Lingyi had ever witnessed, only when Emperor Chengtai still frequented the inner palace did she see him eat any leftovers from any of the concubines.
She suspected he was lying to her, her thoughts written all over her face, but he didn't care: "What kind of couple is that? A real couple eats together, sleeps together, lives together, and dies together."
Even if she was completely ignorant, she would understand what a lecherous man was, and upon hearing him say that they would sleep together, she immediately became more vigilant.
Now she has no relatives or friends, so she has to pretend to be a snake; she doesn't really think of him as a prince consort.
He looked at her, sighed helplessly, and then said nothing more.
She could sense his careful attempts to "please" her.
But she was still afraid of him.
He was too tall and imposing, and he always looked at her with a deep gaze that she couldn't understand.
Every time he looked at her like that, the surroundings would become sticky and thick, as if glued in, trapping her there, making it almost impossible for her to breathe.
Late tonight, he came to her room, his gaze even more profound than before.
It reminded her of the white-browed tiger with piercing eyes that she had seen as a tribute from a foreign land when she was in the palace.
He wanted to devour her whole, but unfortunately, he was in a cage.
She instinctively sensed danger.
If she hadn't learned they were returning to the capital, she probably would have run away on the way.
He must have ulterior motives for treating her this way, and the only thing he could possibly want from her is her status as a princess. For this status, he must return to the capital, otherwise all his efforts will have been in vain.
That's why she followed him all the way.
Once he arrives in the capital, whatever his plans may be, his elder brother, the Crown Prince, will be in charge.
But once she arrived in the capital, her heart sank. Now she was almost certain that he was her husband.
—When I arrived at his residence yesterday, exquisite clothes, jewelry, and precious treasures were delivered in like a flowing stream.
The shimmering brocade presented by Jiangnan was a tribute that was once exclusively reserved for Consort Guo in the palace, and even the Crown Princess was not allowed to bestow it upon her. Servants brought her a whole box of clothes made of shimmering brocade for her to choose from.
His status and power are probably far above that of her, the unfavored princess.
There was absolutely no need for me to lie to her.
The person in the mirror had very noticeably rosy lips—even though she hadn't opened her eyes at first, she could feel a painful yet itchy sensation on her lips and hear the sound of her lips and teeth sticking together, so she could naturally guess what it was!
Although she had never been married, there were palace maids and eunuchs in the palace who were in relationships. She overheard the palace people gossiping and making fun of her, saying that they would hold hands, hug, and be affectionate, "just like ordinary couples."
Intimacy... does this count as intimacy?
Even though he was her husband, she was unwilling to be intimate with him.
Once she sees her Crown Prince brother tomorrow, she will use every trick in the book to get him to transfer her far away so she can live in the capital and never have to see him again!
.
The thought of returning to familiar people filled Lingyi with anticipation, yet she was also filled with trepidation, fearing that Qin Lie might lie to her. She barely slept a wink all night.
Fortunately, Qin Lie came early the next day, had breakfast with her, and then took her out.
But she didn't see her beloved family members; instead, she saw only the dilapidated and long-neglected Eastern Palace, with only a few crows circling above it.
Her heart sank instantly, but she still forced a smile and asked, "But...but has my brother the Crown Prince already ascended the throne?"
Qin Lie remained silent, then led her to a place in the north of the city where sewage flowed freely. Looking over the dilapidated mud wall, they saw several women inside. They wore patched clothes, their heads down, preoccupied with washing several basins full of clothes. Nearby, several children jumped around in the mud puddles they had created by pouring water, and were scolded by them with vulgar and offensive language.
Upon hearing the voices, Lingyi was startled to realize that two of the women were clearly her two former head maids from Chonghua Palace.
She had always wondered why, if Qin Lie was truly her husband, she had never seen any of her dowry maids.
Now she was even more surprised. Even without a dowry, given Yinshuang Aoxue's qualifications, she should have become an aunt in the palace or left the palace with her savings to live a normal life. Why did she end up like this?
Qin Lie ordered his men to summon the two women. As soon as they saw Lingyi, they burst into tears, repeatedly calling out "Princess, Princess."
Qin Lie alighted from the carriage and stood with his hands behind his back under a thatched hut not far away, waiting for the two palace maids to tell the princess everything that needed to be said, such as the marriage arranged by Emperor Jiahe, the death of the crown prince, the change of dynasties, and especially Xie Yu's marriage to the sixteenth princess and his second wife, Miss Song, which was worth talking about in detail.
As for those things that shouldn't be said and those people that shouldn't be mentioned, naturally no one mentioned them, lest they offend her ears.
The reunion lasted much longer than he had anticipated, and the two palace maids only disembarked from the carriage as the sun was about to set.
Upon seeing him, they fell silent and knelt down to pay their respects.
Qin Lie didn't even look at her, and strode back to the carriage. He saw that Ling Yi had tidied herself up, her face was free of tears, but her eyes were red from crying. She sat there blankly, her face expressionless.
He couldn't help but feel regretful, afraid that she would be upset again. But rather than letting her guess, doubt, and worry all day long, it was better to tell her directly. After all, he couldn't hide it from her any longer, and she had to go through this eventually. It was better to have a short pain than a long one.
On the way back, Lingyi was lost in thought, seemingly pondering something.
Only when the carriage entered the mansion did she seem to wake up from a dream, lifting the curtain to look outside.
Finally, she saw the thing she had overlooked when she came in last time.
—A magnificent mahogany plaque hangs above the gate, with the words "Prince Duan's Mansion" written in gilded characters.
Even though she was in the deep palace, she knew that Da Han had no kings of different surnames.
Qin Lie doesn't have the surname Liu, so how could he claim to be king?
It's naturally because the Qin family gained control of the country; otherwise, this place should be the princess's residence.
Her last glimmer of hope vanished, and her eyes immediately welled up with tears. She bit her lip desperately to endure it, like a wounded animal, guarded and unwilling to show her vulnerability. She relied on a facade of strength to conceal her pain, grievances, and countless anxieties.
A hand reached out and clamped her soft chin, forcing her to let go, but there were already deep teeth marks on her lower lip.
His thumb gently stroked her, but even gentler than his movements were his gaze and voice.
"Go ahead and cry if you want to. We'll get off the bus after you've finished crying."
People on the verge of tears are most afraid of being comforted by others, especially since Lingyi was just a princess who was inexperienced in the ways of the world.
"My brother, the Crown Prince, is dead..."
As soon as she opened her mouth, tears welled up in her eyes, and she could no longer hold them back, quickly soaking her clothes.
"Aunt Liu Cui is missing, and Sister Fifteen is also gone..."
"Sixteenth Sister married Xie Yu..."
She cried her heart out, "I'm all alone now..."
She knew crying was useless, but what else could she do besides cry?
The grief of losing her loved ones and the fear of being helpless and alone weighed heavily on her, making it almost impossible for her to breathe.
She was so heartbroken that she didn't even notice someone holding her in their arms.
All of this unfolded exactly as Qin Lie had predicted, and was even something he was happy to orchestrate.
She should be alone, without relatives or friends, and have no one to rely on but him in this world.
But seeing her crying like this, I felt a tearing pain in my chest.
He gently embraced her and whispered comfortingly, "Don't be afraid, you still have me."
He gently wiped away her tears, "Don't forget, I am your son-in-law, and your husband. You and I are family."
Her eyes, washed with tears, shimmered and sparkled, and she still looked at him with wariness, rarely receiving any comfort.
The carriage had already stopped outside the inner courtyard. He picked the person up horizontally and carried him directly back to his bedroom.
Unlike the cozy and inviting place she lived in, his place was so simple and uninteresting that it was almost cold.
He laid the person down on the bed, took a small box from beside the pillow, opened it, and found more than a dozen purses inside.
She recognized it as her work at a glance.
Although her needlework wasn't exceptionally skilled, it was still taught by the palace matrons. Her needlework differed from that of ordinary people, and she even left her own markings out of habit—a custom of the palace matrons. —Anything made in the palace had to be marked, so that if anything went wrong, someone could be held accountable.
It also contained her own concoction of calming herbs, though it smelled rather cheap.
Qin Lie sat down beside her. "You've just forgotten that when you married me, although we didn't know each other before, we were extremely loving after we got married. Look, these are all the sachets you made for me by hand. I keep them by my pillow every day. And there's another box of them in the study."
In fact, he carried several of them not only in his study but also in his luggage, taking them with him on every expedition.
He didn't understand what this meant, or even why he had sent people to buy all the purses she had taken to sell.
He clearly wanted her to stay away, yet he couldn't help but miss her; sending her a piece of green grass wasn't enough.
She gets furious just thinking about the things others have made for her.
He felt disgusted at the time. After all, she was his woman, and she was making a living by selling purses. Wasn't that a disgrace to him?
They also thought she was foolish; her grandmother had given her money, yet she didn't know how to make her life better.
What's even more hateful is that even in this state, she didn't think of begging him!
After she left, he felt even more strongly that the purse was a reminder of his hatred.
Aside from the nights he stayed in the village house after his injury, during the few nights she stayed with him, he would fall asleep every night clutching his purse.
He wanted to dream of her, even though every time he dreamed of her, she would leave without looking back, leaving him only in nightmares.
But no matter what, it still made him happier than not being able to dream of her at all.
If I can't even dream of her, how am I supposed to get through this long night?
Lingyi sat there clutching her purse; by now, she had no choice but to believe it.
If it weren't true as he said, why would she have made so many purses for him by hand?
Fearing she wouldn't believe him, he opened another chest, which contained many small things she had made.
Having seen so many purses, she was already used to it; what surprised her were the few pieces of clothing he took out from the bottom of the trunk.
The clothes were worn and frayed, but they were definitely made by her.
It's one thing to have an outer garment, but there's even an inner garment underneath.
How intimate must the two be for her to make him his own underwear?
She asked, stunned, "Are we really that much in love?"
But even if she doesn't remember, why does she always feel uneasy and never feel joyful when facing him?
When she asked this, he paused for a moment before explaining, "Because you were angry with me before you lost your memory."
Lingyi asked, "What made you angry?"
Qin Lie said, "You were angry because I was always fighting outside and not with you. It was because you were angry with me that you ran out and encountered thieves, which is why you bumped your head and forgot about the past."
Lingyi was somewhat surprised: "I thought it was to blame you for being a traitorous minister."
Qin Lie held her hand and asked softly, "Then do you blame me?"
He couldn't help but feel nervous. He had never imagined that this matter could become an obstacle between them. After all, the princess had witnessed the suffering of the people and understood that the fate of the Great Han Dynasty was sealed. Now, what would she think?
Lingyi thought about it carefully and said softly, "What Father and Seventh Brother did... even if it wasn't you, it would have been someone else. The so-called empire is nothing more than this. The Liu family seized it from others, and because they lost the hearts of the people, you took it from us. This has been the case throughout history, so why be so persistent?"
Qin Lie breathed a sigh of relief. He had long known that she appeared weak, but was actually open-minded and compassionate.
He still remembered that a year ago, Xie Yu sent him a secret letter, offering a plan to stop the fighting.
The letter mentions how he scoffed at the idea that the Prince of Yongjia could persuade Song Pingkou to poison him.
When news of Song Pingkou's death arrived, he stood on the riverbank for an entire night.
The Song family was powerful, and three-tenths of the country's military forces were under their control in Zhuozhou.
Not to mention that the coastal people regarded the Song family as a deity.
If the Song family sends out all their elite troops, he will most likely return empty-handed from his crossing of the river.
But the night is long and many things may happen; who knows what changes the future may hold?
Moreover, even if he crosses the river, as long as the Song family retreats to Zhuozhou, the newly established Daxian government will be in dire need of rebuilding and will not be able to support the army's food and supplies. As a result, the stalemate will continue for several more years.
Given this situation, Xie Yu would not have conspired with him if it weren't for the Japanese pirates' invasion.
He thought to himself, "I never imagined that Xie Yu, this pedantic scholar, would also have some patriotism."
What shocked him even more was the princess's choice.
Previously, he received secret letters every three days, each one filled with Song Pingkou's affection for her.
Although she was a Noble Consort, she was no different from an Empress, and she even gave birth to Song Pingkou's only son.
But her choice was so unexpected.
He gave up all wealth and honor, and relinquished the power within his grasp, choosing instead the common people.
Amidst his deep hatred, a secret pride arose within him.
Facing the rolling river and the eternal stars and moon, he couldn't help but laugh out loud until he was exhausted.
With the well-being of all people in mind, they disregard personal gain or loss.
This is what a princess should be like. Whether it's the Great Han or the Great Xian, she is a princess in all right.
Unfortunately, only a few people know about her achievements, and the world may never know what she did for them.
Once such a thing is leaked, no one will even remember her; they will only remember that she poisoned her husband and condemn her for being cruel and vicious.
More than his own emotional turmoil, Lingyi was surprised that she had said those words.
She was surprisingly calm about the fall of the Great Han Kingdom. Even though she only cared about a few people, as a princess, she shouldn't have accepted it so easily.
But compared to these concerns, she had more important matters to attend to. Unconsciously, she tugged at his sleeve and pleaded, "Your Highness, could you please send someone to help me find out the whereabouts of my Fifteenth Sister and Aunt Liu Cui? They disappeared together when the rebels stormed the palace! My Fifteenth Sister is intelligent and skilled in medicine; even if she were to wander among the common people, she should be able to survive."
—Because he was afraid of upsetting her, Qin Lie ordered Yin Shuang and Ao Xue to conceal the Fifteenth Princess's ordeal. Also, because of the Fifteenth Princess's medical skills, there might be a day when they would meet again, so he only said she was missing. Facing Ling Yi's anxious and worried gaze, Qin Lie nodded: "Okay, I will send people to investigate immediately."
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