Chapter 81 Instead of blaming yourself, bury it...
Su Li leaned against the bed, lost in thought, and fell asleep without realizing it.
He didn't lean on his head properly and accidentally fell headfirst down.
By the time she regained consciousness, it was too late to react.
She thought she was going to fall flat on her face, but instead, a pair of hands caught her and helped her up.
Su Li didn't see anyone beside her, but she clearly felt someone holding her up.
Thinking of the words she had seen before, Su Li's eyes welled up with tears.
"Grandmother, is that you?"
She thought that seeing her grandmother talking to her was just a dream.
I pinched my arm; it hurt. So it wasn't a dream; my grandmother really had come back.
Su Li felt as if she heard a sigh, a sound that seemed both very close and very far away.
I've thought about what happened yesterday, and it was definitely my fault. You're still a child, after all, and I shouldn't have forced you to make a decision. Xiaoli, live a good life from now on. Grandma is gone.
"No, no, Grandmother!" Su Li hurriedly reached out to grab the words, but unexpectedly missed and fell to the ground.
The pain from hitting her knee on the floor made her mind even clearer.
Was Grandmother so disappointed in her current state that she decided to leave?
Thinking of this, Su Li felt even more upset. She had indeed disappointed her grandmother. She had promised her grandmother that she would become an excellent mecha engineer, but after meeting Bian Shize, she forgot the promise she had made to her grandmother.
If that's the case, it's normal that her grandmother was so disappointed when she came back.
Su Li bit her lower lip and said with red eyes, "Grandmother, I'm sorry, I've let you down."
[Xiao Li, everyone has their own choices. I know you still can't forget Dian Yue and would rather use someone else as a substitute for him. Fine, I won't force you anymore. If you really don't want to be a mecha engineer, then don't be one.]
This is called retreating to advance.
The female protagonist admires her grandmother the most, so how could she not be heartbroken when her grandmother is disappointed in her?
Su Li shook her head repeatedly, "No, no, Grandmother, I've made up my mind. I want to be a mecha engineer. I can definitely do it. Please believe me. Don't go. Stay with me, okay?"
Right now, she didn't want to think about Bian Shize; she wanted to see her grandmother more.
Unfortunately, her grandmother could not come out to see her.
But it's good to be able to communicate with her this way; she can talk to her grandmother.
Her father and brother were gone, and now she was all alone. She never imagined that one day her grandmother would come back to her side.
The appearance of her grandmother seemed to rekindle her hope for life.
“I’m sorry, Grandmother. I shouldn’t have treated Bian Shize as a substitute for Dian Yue. They are completely different. Dian Yue would never do that to me. Besides, Bian Shize already has a fiancée. I shouldn’t have been thinking about him anymore. Grandmother, I was wrong. I will never do it again.”
Su Li cried very sadly, which reminded Xiang Bei of the phrase "pear blossoms in the rain".
She looks really beautiful when she cries; her tears fall like pearls.
The sight of her crying made Xiang Bei feel very sorry for her.
Xiang Bei quickly stopped the dangerous thoughts from her mind. She thought that this was not the time for her to sympathize with the female lead. Although that was the case, who knew if the female lead would turn around and forget what she had said?
According to the typical tropes of the angst novels she had read before, both the male and female leads were forgetful of past mistakes, and the angst would continue until the very end with a tragic ending.
After several previous experiences, Xiang Bei had become quite familiar with the process.
If the female protagonist wants to completely escape the tragic plot, she needs to establish herself completely.
So Xiang Bei still sighed in a perfunctory manner, pretending to be thinking of her granddaughter.
Don't force yourself. Grandma still hopes you can be happy.
If the female lead doesn't awaken soon, she'll have to resort to some underhanded tactics.
When Su Li saw the words reappear, she was now afraid that her grandmother was really gone. She had thought about it last night; she had already lost all her relatives, even Dian Yue was gone, and now she was all alone.
She clutched her chest and said, "Grandmother, I know Bian Shize is not Dian Yue, but I really wished he were Dian Yue back then."
After getting to know him, Su Li could tell that Bian Shize and Dian Yue were different.
Dian Yue has a very good temper. From childhood to adulthood, no matter how much I provoke him, he will never get angry. He will only smile at me.
But Bian Shize wouldn't; he would just keep throwing tantrums at her.
If it weren't for that face, Su Li would have given up long ago.
Especially after all her relatives passed away, Bian Shize's face became her only solace.
The broken quantum computer next to it fell off the cabinet with a missing leg, and a very pleasant male voice came from inside.
Xiang Bei guessed it was Dian Yue, because the last line was, "Don't be sad for me, you must live happily forever."
Su Li held the personal terminal in her hands, then sat on the ground hugging her legs, the voice from the personal terminal playing over and over again.
This was her original personal computer. When she was kicked out, the computer was also broken. She spent a lot of effort to repair it to its current state.
Whenever she felt she couldn't hold on any longer, Su Li would repeatedly listen to the words Dian Yue had left for her.
Xiang Bei sighed. The dead white moonlight is the most destructive white moonlight.
The use of a substitute is also one of the most heart-wrenching aspects of this story.
However, Xiang Bei doesn't think so.
The white moonlight is the white moonlight. Xiang Bei only read about Dian Yue in the original text, but he is already dead, so her position as the white moonlight is very secure.
That's settled then.
Xiang Bei had no intention of shaking the position of this "white moonlight".
But just because a bad person is a bad person and the white moonlight is good doesn't mean that the male lead, Bian Shize, isn't bad.
Although the original text is quite angsty, it still acknowledges the female lead's talent. It mentions several times that although she has not received systematic training, she is able to repair the broken quantum computer through her own tinkering.
Not to mention that any parts she casually made could meet the highest interstellar standards after testing.
Xiang Bei felt that if she studied diligently with such talent, her rise to prominence would be just around the corner.
What's the point of just messing around on your own? Systematic learning and exposure to that knowledge are what truly matters for those who want to accomplish great things in the future.
When Su Li saw that the text was gone, her eyes reddened again. "Grandmother, are you still there?"
Yes, I'm here. I haven't left yet.
"It's so good to see you again, but I'm so sad, I'm really so sad. Why did Dianyue die? Why did Dad and my brother get into trouble?"
What started as quiet sobbing turned into loud wailing.
These words had been bottled up in Su Li's heart for a long time, but no one listened. She could only listen to the voice in her personal terminal in the dead of night, and cry herself to sleep with red eyes.
But now that her grandmother has returned, and thinking back to how her grandmother used to hold her as a child and explain mecha to her, Su Li feels that the person she needs more is her grandmother.
She longed for her grandmother's embrace.
Just then, Su Li felt herself being held in someone's arms, just like when she was a child and was being held by her grandmother.
She swore to her grandmother that she would become an S-class mecha engineer.
Su Li felt someone gently stroking her hair; it really seemed to be her grandmother.
Her tears fell instantly. "Grandma, I miss you so much."
System 9639 watched in stunned silence.
"You can play it like this too."
Xiang Bei looked at it and said, "It's alright. The female protagonists in tragic novels are people who value relationships a lot. Either their relatives are seriously ill, or they are all alone. They all regard the male protagonist as their spiritual support. When they find that the relatives they trust and miss the most have returned, they will definitely feel closer to each other."
Especially now that the male lead has a fiancée.
If the female lead knows that the male lead has someone else by his side, and still insists on getting close to him, then she shouldn't blame Xiang Bei for taking action.
She had to use her status as a grandmother to teach the female protagonist that there is such a thing as unacceptable values.
Fortunately, judging from the current situation, the female lead does not seem to have that inclination.
I would silently shed tears when I saw the male lead and the second female lead together, and then reflect on what I had done wrong.
What's there to reflect on?!
Instead of blaming yourself, you should bury the male lead.
"I know, I know, this is called taking advantage of a weakness," the system quickly replied.
After saying that, he looked like he was asking for praise.
"Well, that's about right, Tongzi. I have a very important task for you to handle next."
"I?"
"That's right, helping the female lead with her studies is definitely your job. I don't know anything about mecha, so it's definitely your expertise that should be put in charge. I have high hopes for you, Professor Tong!"
Having gotten used to being petted like a big orange cat by Xiang Bei, the system really started treating it like a cat. So, it was a little unaccustomed to being praised by its host.
Especially those who were completely bewildered by Xiang Bei's teacher's shouting.
"Hehehe, actually I'm just an intern system, not as good as you say, hehehe."
While talking to Xiang Bei, Su Li looked up at the old clock hanging on the wall. With school approaching, Su Li quickly packed her things and took out a green vial from the old cabinet and drank it.
What did you drink?
Looking at the sticky green liquid, Xiang Bei felt a little nauseous; it didn't seem like anything good.
"This is nutrient solution. Everyone who lives in this area drinks this stuff."
Even interstellar beings are still human, and human beings need to eat.
But only the upper class could afford such expensive food. Su Li used to be one of those who could afford it, but now that she's in this state, she's already very content with the free nutrient solution she gets to drink.
She had experienced the feeling of being hungry, and it was truly unpleasant.
She was very thin and weak, so even with free nutrient solutions, she could only snatch the unpalatable stuff that others didn't want.
These nutrient solutions are the result of failed attempts; they're not harmful, but their biggest drawback is that they taste terrible.
This green color was originally intended to be made into a green apple flavor, but the result of the failed attempt is that it tastes extremely bitter and leaves a burnt taste in the mouth.
But for Su Li, the unpleasant taste didn't matter, as long as she could stay alive. Besides, she had gotten used to it and could now drink these bitter nutrient solutions without batting an eye.
If you smell burnt, just rinse your mouth.
Her parents and brother all died in that battle. Because of her father's poor decision-making, many soldiers of the Federation died, so people from all over the world did not welcome her.
Su Li glanced at the digital clock on the wall. "Oh no, I'm going to be late for school."
She quickly grabbed her things and ran to catch the school bus.
Given Su Li's current status, it would have been impossible for her to enter the Federal Military Academy, let alone the expensive mecha manufacturing preparatory class.
Although she was talented, her talent was not discovered, not to mention that she couldn't even afford tuition.
In order to allow the female lead to have a reasonable opportunity to meet the male lead, the original story arranged for a friend of Su Li's grandmother to accidentally see Su Li's current disheveled state. Remembering that Su Li's grandmother had once helped him, he used his connections to get Su Li into the mecha manufacturing preparatory class. He felt that he had already repaid this kindness, so he did not inquire about Su Li's subsequent affairs.
Whether she can succeed depends on Su Li's own abilities. If she can't even pass the preparatory class, she doesn't need to stay in the Federal Military Academy.
Su Li is so poor that she doesn't even have a complete personal computer. Everything in her house is salvaged from the garbage dump, repaired, and then reused.
The interstellar community regularly processes a batch of garbage. Before the garbage is sent for processing, the people in the slums will rummage through it to see if they can find anything they can use. As long as they don't make a complete mess of the garbage, the people at the landfill will turn a blind eye.
Su Li couldn't compete with others, so the trash she picked up was all that others didn't want.
The people on the train frowned as they watched Su Li board the train, and then moved away from her.
"Get out of here, you filthy beggar." Someone shoved Su Li hard from behind.
Su Li lost her balance and fell down.
Looking up, she saw the other person wearing a federal military academy uniform, looking at her with disdain.
Others also chimed in with comments, "I really don't know why the principal would agree to let a stinking beggar who can't even afford a school uniform come to our school."
"Exactly, I feel ashamed to be in the same school as her."
Stand up and fight back.
Su Li stood up, looked at what her grandmother had said, and then looked at the girl who was covering her nose and moving away from her.
Looking at the words floating in front of her, Su Li swallowed hard, stood up and read the words aloud, "If you feel ashamed, you can go die, no one is stopping you."
Speak louder, stand tall, and project confidence.
Before the girl could retort, he looked at another girl, hesitated for a moment, and then said loudly, "So what if I can't afford a school uniform? The school didn't expel me. If you're so indignant, then buy your own car and go to school. You're not ashamed to ride the school bus with a beggar like me, so why should I feel ashamed?"
Ignoring the stunned looks on the faces of the people, Su Li looked at the fat boy who had pushed her earlier. Her grandmother had told her to retaliate in her own way, but Su Li didn't know how to do so.
The two stared at each other for a while, then Su Li bent down and bumped her head into his stomach.
"You can't even walk in this wide car, you fatso, shouldn't you reflect on whether you're too fat? I advise you to lose some weight, don't block the way and affect other people's walking."
The fat man was knocked headfirst into the car by Su Li and rolled several times before finally stopping.
The crowd exchanged bewildered glances, surprised that Su Li dared to fight back. After all, when they treated Su Li like this before, she would only shrink back and sit in a corner, never daring to resist.
Su Li looked at the words in front of her and said, word by word, "Everyone, I know you look down on me, and you can ignore me. But if you want to bully me, I hope you understand one thing: I am all alone, but you still have your own parents and relatives. There is an old saying that goes, 'Those who have nothing to lose are not afraid of those who have something to lose.' It doesn't matter if I die, but if you force me, I don't mind choosing someone to die with me."
Seeing the chubby boy get up and raise his fist, Su Li glared back fiercely.
Actually, she didn't know what "fierce" meant, but her grandmother told her to widen her eyes and see the chubby boy as the one who stole her chicken leg.
The chubby boy was also frightened by Su Li's gaze, but he was unwilling to put down his fist like that, so he finally said something harsh.
"Su Li, don't be so smug. Your father and brother killed so many of our Federation's mech soldiers. What do you have to be proud of?"
Su Li's eyes immediately welled up with tears when her father was mentioned.
Mingming's father said the day before that this battle would go very smoothly and that he was fully confident.
But the next day, news came of the deaths of his father and brother, as well as their poor decision-making.
Su Li felt something was wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.
[Don't cry. You must get rid of this habit of crying so easily.]
Su Li wiped away her tears with her sleeve and said loudly, "I will definitely find out the truth."
The carriage was quiet. The people who could ride the school train were only from families with better financial conditions than Su Li, but they didn't dare to provoke Su Li now, who had made such a threatening statement.
The students were also bullies who preyed on the weak. Besides, Su Li was right. She was the only one left in her family. What if she went crazy and killed a few people before she died?
When the train stopped at the school gate, the few who usually bullied Su Li the most quickly got off the train, avoiding her.
The car arrived on time, but it was still some distance from the classroom.
Su Li ran all the way there, and just as she reached the door, she heard the school bell ring.
Her feet had already stepped into the classroom, but before she could even sit down, Bian Shize, who had followed behind her, said with a stern face, "Su Li, you're late. Stand outside. My class doesn't need late students."
Su Li didn't say anything; this wasn't the first time something like this had happened.
She was already used to it.
But the way her classmates were looking at her today was very strange, after all, Su Li had slapped Teacher Bian in front of them yesterday.
Moreover, Su Li used to be very fond of Teacher Bian, even chasing after him to bring him lunchboxes. But now Teacher Bian has a more outstanding fiancée, and Su Li is just a shameless person.
This time, however, Su Li did not take her textbooks out as usual, but instead sat down in her seat.
Bian Shize frowned in displeasure and raised his voice, "Su Li, I told you to get out, didn't you hear me?"
[Since nobody likes you anyway, instead of wasting your own time, you might as well hurt others. At worst, you'll wipe them all out. With me here, don't worry about wearing them down. Fight on, my dear granddaughter.]
Su Li was still very nervous, but seeing her grandmother there, she read aloud what her grandmother had said.
"Teacher, you've been targeting me ever since I started school. Other students in the class are also late sometimes, but you only punish me. Teacher, why do you only treat me specially?"
"What nonsense are you spouting, Su Li? Get out of the classroom right now!" Bian Shize glared at Su Li, his anger barely contained.
Su Li was a little timid, but thinking of her grandmother, she raised her head and looked directly at Bian Shize, calling out the names of several students in the class. "They are often late or leave early, but you have never said a word to them. Is it because they come from wealthy families, or is it because you have other ideas about me and are deliberately targeting me? Even your fiancée Ning Ruoxi often skips classes. Teacher, why can other students be so casual in your class?"
"Get out." Bian Shize threw down what he was holding. "If you don't leave today, none of us will be in class."
"Teacher, what right do you have to say that? Everyone pays tuition to go to school. Because of your personal reasons, everyone is unable to attend classes. Shouldn't you reflect on yourself? Or do you not even have the courage to admit that you are biased? I am now seriously doubting whether you are suitable to be our teacher. After all, you often only care about Ning Ruoxi and ignore the questions asked by other students."
"Su Li! Don't go too far. This is a classroom, not a place for you to run wild." Ning Ruoxi, whose name was called, stood up, and her group of followers also stood up.
Su Li clutched her chest, backing away in surprise. "Oh my god, I'm so scared! Are you going to bully your classmates? Is it because I exposed Teacher Bian for covering up your frequent lateness and early departures that you're getting angry?"
As she spoke, Su Li had already retreated to the doorway. "You don't actually intend to kill me to cover it up, do you? Good heavens, Teacher Bian is condoning his fiancée to kill someone to cover it up."
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