Chapter 52 Half-ripe mulberries "Reach out and hold me."
Sang Fu was speechless: "..."
In fact, she didn't think it was that strange at first.
She felt a little embarrassed and didn't answer. Instead, she calmly changed the subject and asked quietly, "When did you come to dinner tonight?"
"When you were discussing me."
Sure enough, I heard it all.
Sanfu asked again: "Then why didn't you come in at the beginning?"
She heard a soft laugh in the air, but he didn't pay much attention to it. His tone was gentle, as if he was explaining something insignificant. "It's human instinct, right? When you hear your own name, whether it's good or bad, you want to hear it first."
"So I told Zhuoma to keep quiet," he said slowly, "but I didn't expect someone would speak up for me."
The surroundings were completely quiet, and her breathing was unnatural, light and slow.
When Zhuang Mowen finished speaking, Sang Fu also fell silent.
She didn't expect it either.
Does that count as defending him?
She didn't think much about it at the time, she just felt that what they said was a bit too much, and... even though she didn't know why Zhuang Mowen didn't come, she inexplicably firmly believed that Zhuang Mowen was different from what they said.
When they met for the first time, he arrived earlier than her; he insisted on running in the morning... Zhuang Mowen must be a person with a strong sense of time and great self-discipline, so how could he deliberately be late?
The corn cobs in the stove were not replenished and burned out.
The temperature dropped significantly, and we could only keep warm under the quilt. Our two breaths seemed to stick together, and we couldn't tell who was who.
Sang Fu was silent for a while, then moved her body and wanted to get up first.
She was afraid that leaning on him would hurt him. She couldn't see anything clearly, only some outlines. She felt around tentatively, trying to find an empty space on the mattress to use as leverage.
The next second, her wrist was grabbed precisely by someone.
His breathing seemed to pause for a moment.
"What are you doing?"
Sangfu's hands were restrained, and she was also stunned for a moment, whispering: "I remember."
Zhuang Mowen paused: "Then what are you touching everywhere?"
Sanfu's head was buzzing with his question: "I don't want to touch everywhere..."
Just as she was about to stand up, Zhuang Mowen slightly exerted force on the palm of his hand holding her wrist. Sang Fu was caught off guard and was pulled back.
Zhuang Mowen lowered his eyes, and in the dim light, his sight found her face, scanning it inch by inch.
"Before you get up," he said, "answer me, why are you hiding from me?"
His voice is as light as cotton and the ending tone is very low, so he seems gentle, but also has an unshakable strength.
"The ring was on your finger at noon and disappeared in the afternoon," Zhuang Mowen said quietly, "Sang Fu, you are a careful person. You usually check it again and again when you go out at home, so you wouldn't just leave the ring in the dormitory."
Every word he said seemed to turn into thousands of ants gnawing at her body.
If she could deceive him, at least she could get some temporary respite.
But she didn't do it.
The hesitant and tangled emotions wove an airtight net that wrapped Sangfu up so tightly that she could hardly breathe.
"You took the ring off on purpose." He concluded, paused for two seconds, and then asked knowingly: "You still don't want to be involved with me, right?"
Before Sangfu could react, two words rushed out from the net that wrapped her.
She blurted out: "No."
Zhuang Mowen raised his lips slightly, and then asked:
"Why is that? Aren't we doing fine in Lincheng?"
Sanfu pursed her lips.
Wei Yao told her that if she met the right person, she should give it a try.
So she did.
Even though she had never experienced love, she could vaguely sense that Zhuang Mowen was different to her day after day.
Wei Yao also said that her happiness will accumulate and accompany her throughout her life.
But she didn't say how she should catch them.
She was also confused.
Why did she feel sad and unconsciously want to stay away from him even though he was so good to her?
"How about," Sanfu moved her lips and spoke softly, her tone as guilty as a child who had done something wrong, "Let's go back to the beginning of our relationship."
As soon as the words came out, Zhuang Mowen fell silent.
Sanfu didn't say anything else.
Even if he blamed her for going back on her word and they had no further contact after the contract expired, she was willing to bear it.
At least after this, she wouldn't mess things up anymore, wouldn't become unlike herself, and wouldn't frequently avoid others by pretending to be close to them.
Zhuang Mowen can also focus on his own work without having to bother arranging anything for her, and he doesn't have to spend so much time rushing from Lincheng to Tibet just for her.
She has been accustomed to living alone since she was a child. She can understand many helplessness, but she can't stand being treated too harshly.
"not good."
After a long time, Zhuang Mowen said softly.
Without blaming or complaining, he simply repeated softly: "Not good."
Before she could say anything, Zhuang Mowen changed the subject: "What were you doing on the slope at noon?"
Sang Fu muttered, "Nothing."
Even at that location, the signal was very weak. If Zhuang Mowen wanted to receive any news, he would have to wait until he returned.
"You lied again." Zhuang Mowen said, "You went so far away from the village on purpose to tell me that the signal here is not good."
After she left, he stood there, holding up his phone and waiting for a moment. Finally, he heard the signal flash and received her message.
He murmured, "If you wanted to end it with me, why bother going there?"
Why should she care whether he could receive her message or whether he would worry about her?
A ray of moonlight slanted into her dark pupils.
Her eyelashes trembled slightly, like the wings of a butterfly wet by the rain, panicking and struggling.
Zhuang Mowen waited for her to speak. After a long silence that made his heart ache, Sang Fu's voice finally rang out slowly: "I'm afraid I won't be used to you being like this."
"Not used to it?"
Sanfu paused and nodded.
She has always been self-sufficient. She has her own threshold of loneliness and can do many things alone.
She knew that without expectations, there would be no disappointment.
However, Zhuang Mowen was constantly breaking and lowering her existing threshold that had been maintained for many, many years.
He would give her hope. Now that he was coming to see her, would she start to feel lonely when they separated later? Would she find it unbearable to be alone?
This is the kind of expectation that becomes a habit, something she will knowingly commit. What if her expectations are dashed? What if these good things are just a flash in the pan? How can she get back into her comfort zone?
She really doesn't know.
Sanfu shook her head again: "My mind is in a mess now. I don't know what I should do..."
She really can't lie.
Therefore, the hesitant and confused expression on his face was particularly clear to Zhuang Mowen's eyes even in the dim light.
He looked at it for a while and said, "Then I'll teach you how to do it."
"Sanfu."
Sang Fu was slightly startled, raised her eyes and met his gaze.
"Reach out your hand," Zhuang Mowen stared into her eyes and continued slowly, "hold me."
He said, asking her to hold out her hand, but he gently released her wrist, giving her the freedom to choose.
Sang Fu lowered her eyelashes, hesitated for a moment, then gently lowered her head and reached out to hug him.
Her ear was pressed against his chest, vaguely rubbing against the warmth and texture of his coat.
The arm around her waist unconsciously fell back, and his voice rang out above her head: "I want to give it a try with you, and I'm serious. Listen to my heartbeat, it won't lie to you."
His heart beat regularly and powerfully, like a drumstick, hitting her heart again and again. She closed her eyes, and her disordered heartbeat seemed to slowly stabilize.
"You don't have to respond, and you can also be reserved with me. You don't have to worry or give me your all until you are ready." Zhuang Mowen said, "Since you have proposed to give it a try with you, I will not give up halfway. I will wait until the day when you trust me and trust us."
"But there's only one thing: don't hide from me, and don't hide yourself, okay?"
His words echoed in her mind.
It was as if the knot in her heart was slowly being removed bit by bit.
After he finished speaking, they were both so quiet for a long time that only the sound of soft breathing remained.
Until the head against his chest moved.
Sangfu nodded and said "hmm" in a nasal tone.
…
When I woke up, it was just dawn.
Sanfu opened her eyes, sat up, and looked around.
The curtains that were not closed last night were drawn very tightly. It was different here than in Lincheng. Some naughty children would deliberately run to the windows of the teacher's dormitory to look inside. If the door was not locked, some things might be lost.
After she came here, she would draw the curtains when she slept.
But fortunately, there is also a window on the other wall, which is at a height that even adults may not be able to climb up.
So even if the curtains are drawn tightly, it won't be too dark at night.
After washing up, she went out and found for the first time how spacious the yard was.
Gu Meng called her name and handed her the cheese cake from last night, biting a piece in her mouth: "You went to bed so early last night?"
Sang Fu said guiltily, "I'm very sleepy."
"That's right. I told you yesterday, and soon after I got home I went to bed," Gu Meng said. "I'm telling you, I'm really having trouble acclimatizing here. I only slept a little better last night, but the bed was too hard. I couldn't sleep at all. I almost suspected I'd become mentally exhausted. When I came to see you, I actually heard a man's voice in your room!"
"Cough, cough, cough..." Sang Fu gasped for air, her face flushed red from choking on the biscuit crumbs. Gu Meng immediately patted her back, "Are you okay?"
She waved her hands, coughed twice, and said, "It's okay."
Gu Meng didn't mention it, but Sang Fu rushed to clarify: "That last night, I think, you heard it wrong."
Gu Meng said, "Yes, the sound disappeared as soon as I got closer. I must have misheard. Besides, who else could enter your room besides me? Not to mention a man."
Sangfu took a bite of the cottage cheese cake and nodded quickly.
As we approached the school area, we saw more familiar figures.
"Look, they are all in front."
When Sang Fu heard Gu Meng's voice, she raised her head and recognized Zhuang Mowen's back at first sight.
He was not walking very close to those people. Gu Meng's voice was very loud, and Zhuang Mowen heard it and turned around to look in their direction.
Gu Meng pulled Sang Fu forward without saying anything: "Come on, let's catch up."
When he caught up with them, Gu Meng greeted them generously: "Hello, hello, good morning everyone, good morning, Professor Zhuang."
"Good morning." Zhuang Mowen nodded, his eyes turning casually to Sang Fu's face, "Did you sleep well last night?"
Sangfu paused.
Last night... she didn't even know when he left. She fell into a deep sleep and was really tired and sleepy. She leaned on him for a while and fell asleep unknowingly.
She was still panicked when she woke up. First, she was afraid that the curtains were not drawn, and second, she was afraid of what would happen if she and Zhuang Mowen went out together and were caught.
But nothing happened.
Zhuang Mowen must have foreseen that the risk was greater in the morning, so he went back in the evening.
She didn't know why he asked this on purpose.
Before Sang Fu could say anything, Gu Meng foolishly answered, "As soon as Professor Zhuang came, I felt like all the pressure on me was reduced by half. Of course, I slept better!"
Zhuang Mowen laughed and continued to look at Sang Fu: "Really?"
“…” How should she say this?
Sang Fu pretended not to see it, turned her head and said to Gu Meng, "What classes do you have today?"
Gu Meng was distracted and recalled his lessons while talking to her.
The group walked towards the school gate together, not too far away. Gu Meng was quiet for a while, and suddenly caught a glimpse of Sang Fu's hand holding the curd cake. She was stunned: "Sang Fu, it's over."
Sang Fu was also stunned: "What's wrong?"
Gu Meng said: "It's over! It's over, it's over, it's over!"
She grabbed Sanfu's left hand and said, "Friends, Sanfu's ring is missing! Look everywhere for it. Did it fall somewhere?!"
-----------------------
The author has something to say: I hate working overtime... I will try my best to update every day, and if I really can't, I will ask for leave.
Fortunately, today is the lover who can’t be pushed away [pat head]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
