I remember that I was pregnant in the early summer of the thirty-seventh year of the Kangxi Emperor's reign.
At that time, both Wu and Xie had entered the mansion. Xie was charming but not favored by the Fourth Prince. On the contrary, she disgusted me during the Mid-Autumn Festival. Even though I was pregnant, I was still entangled in the myriad affairs of the backyard.
My pregnancy with Honghui was not easy. I remember that Li Shi became pregnant later than me, but I didn't seem to see any reaction from her.
It's no wonder that even though Li was pregnant at that time, the Fourth Prince still loved to go to Li's place in the East Courtyard.
When I was pregnant, my wet nurse, Granny Qian, was by my side and gave me advice. However, I sometimes felt that she was too old and I was not willing to listen to all her words.
Looking back, I realize that perhaps I still didn't quite like my mother's ways sometimes, but I didn't blindly imitate them all.
But I just can't understand why my relationship with Fourth Master has faded.
Why does the Fourth Master always try to take away my power as the housekeeper?
Why did the Fourth Prince allow Wu Shi to take away my power? Why are they all so unwilling to behave themselves?
I have already gladly accepted the fact that the Fourth Prince has requested that Lady Li be made a secondary consort, so why does Lady Wu still overstep her bounds at every turn! Naturally, I cannot tolerate this.
In September of that year, Lady Wu gave birth to the eldest prince of the mansion.
My Honghui is not the eldest son in the family, and this has always been a knot in my heart.
I still remember the day I gave birth to Honghui in April of the following year. I can hardly recall the pain now. The only thing I can remember now is the overwhelming joy I felt when Yuru told me that she had given birth to the Second Prince.
With Honghui's birth, I finally felt a bit more confident.
Especially since the Li family in the East Courtyard only gave birth to a second princess, I felt even more at ease.
But the eldest prince born to Empress Wu has always been a knot in my heart.
Fortunately, several years later, the Fourth Prince never mentioned asking for Wu Shi to be made a secondary consort.
During those years, my relationship with Fourth Master was rather lukewarm. I didn't know whether I should hate Fourth Master, but I always felt that I hadn't done anything wrong. Even now, I still don't think I did anything wrong in the past.
I never feel like I did anything wrong. What's done is done, so there's no point in regretting it.
Is it really possible for a person to never have regrets?
Fourth Master accompanied the Emperor on several northward and southward tours during those years, but I didn't accompany him many times.
Firstly, I don't feel comfortable leaving Honghui at home. Honghui is the apple of my eye, how could I bear to leave my Honghui for so long?
Another reason is to maintain a good reputation. Since the Fourth Prince is not in the capital, I, as his daughter-in-law, naturally have to go to the palace to serve Consort De from time to time, which has indeed left me with a good reputation.
I always said it was alright, it was alright, but every time Fourth Master returned to the mansion, I wasn't so blind as to not notice the deepening affection between Fourth Master and Madam Li.
The idea that everyone will eventually grow old and lose their beauty seems ridiculous now.
The one who looks old and faded is clearly myself.
Ten years have passed, and I don't know why things have come to this.
But I never imagined that I would become the Empress, the mother of a nation.
Those days I was filled with anxiety. I was prepared to become the wife of a prince, but I never fantasized about the position of the mother of the nation.
Knowing that my death was imminent, a sense of deathly stillness settled over me.
What should I do about my Honghui?
I remember it was the night before the Fourth Prince ascended the throne. After putting Honghui to sleep, I heard that all the candles in the backyard had been extinguished. I originally wanted to go for a walk in the garden, but I thought it was not safe to be near the pond in the garden at night, so I just went out of the main courtyard and wandered around.
Granny Qian is old and has retired, so I only had Yu Ru carry the palace lantern and follow along.
As I walked, I suddenly arrived at the Qingyuan Courtyard. I turned around and my mind was still uneasy. Just as I was about to turn back, someone suddenly covered my mouth.
Yu Ru, who was walking ahead, did not notice the silent anomaly.
I heard the person behind me make my voice. She covered my hands with one hand, with terrifying strength.
"Yu Ru, I'm a little upset. You go back first, I'll be back in a bit."
Even the tone of voice was incredibly lifelike.
Yu Ru wanted to turn around, but was stopped by "me".
"Don't turn back. I'm worried about Honghui. Go back and check on him. Don't you understand what I'm saying?"
The tone of "I" was so fierce that Yu Ru didn't dare to turn around.
Knowing that my time was coming to an end, I hadn't been in a very good mood lately, but Yu Ru didn't seem to suspect anything, probably thinking I would grieve alone.
As Yu Ru's footsteps faded into the distance, the hand that had been covering my mouth was replaced by a handkerchief, and I finally saw the face of the person behind me.
!
A face without any disguise came into my view, and the person was staring straight at me.
I was dragged along like a dead dog, and in a daze, I seemed to hear the sound of water.
Where is this place?
Oh right, I remember now, there's a pond behind the Qingyuan courtyard.
Wu's voice was somewhat hoarse when she spoke again.
Yes, the one who dragged us all the way here was Wu, who had been living a secluded life for the past two years due to the passing of the eldest prince.
"Does my wife still remember how my Hongming died?"
My mouth was covered, and I couldn't say a word.
I tried my best to shake my head.
It wasn't me, it wasn't me. The incident involving the eldest prince was not caused by me.
But it was clear that the Wu family had already decided on me.
I was nearly suffocating when I was pushed into the water.
I can't swim, and when I fall into the water, I can only struggle.
"Help...help...help...no..." I could barely speak.
I could only see Wu's toes on the shore, and suddenly I thought of the lowly concubine who crawled to my feet and cried for help when I was a child.
Is this what they call karma?
But my Honghui...
Wu's voice was like a thunderclap.
"Ulanara, go in peace. You can worry about your Honghui after you get down there. Maybe soon your Honghui will be able to keep my Hongming company."
Wu would never harm Honghui; revenge only leads to more revenge, and she had already decided in her heart that the master was evil.
As she watched her wife sink into the water and gradually disappear without a sound, she stared blankly for a few seconds, then suddenly covered her face and burst into tears.
It's time for all of this to end.
Ulanara clan...
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