The Journey Home (Part 4)
"What?!" I couldn't believe my ears.
The woman hurriedly said, "Her husband died in battle at Shunxi some time ago. Aunt Xu was afraid something would happen, so she kept it a secret. She was so careful, but she didn't expect that someone in the same room would talk in their sleep, and she guessed it!"
"Here you go!" I slapped the prescription onto Huai Xu and ran off towards the back of the mountain.
"Qingcheng, I'll go with you!" Wang Yunhui called out from behind me.
Without turning my head, I said, "Slow down, the mountain path is difficult to walk on!"
I ran all the way to my lodging in the mountains, where several women surrounded me and gave me directions: "Go this way, Aunt Xu and A-Guo have already caught up with them!"
One of the pregnant women cried, "It's all my fault! Nanu made me swear to the mountain god, I—"
“It’s none of your business,” I interrupted her. “You’ll find out sooner or later. Pregnant women shouldn’t stand in the wind like this, go inside!”
Someone handed me a walking stick: "Be careful, Qing Niangzi, the slope ahead is steep."
"I'm fine. When Madam Wang comes over, I'll give it to her." With that, she lifted her apron and continued hurrying up the mountain.
As I approached the mountaintop, I heard Nanu's heart-wrenching cries and breathed a slight sigh of relief; the next moment, when I saw where she was, an overwhelming sense of suffocation spread through me again.
The north wind howled, and Nanu, dressed in thin clothes, knelt straight on the edge of the cliff, facing the deep ravine, her shoulders heaving as she cried: "Zhebi Azhuo, why did you have to die? The Changning Army has come to help us!"
“Why couldn’t you hold on for a few more days? The women here will soon have men to pick them up, and the whole family will be happily going back to the village for the New Year with their babies… but I’m the only one who won’t… What am I supposed to say to you, Zhebi Azhuo…”
Nanu lowered her head, her body hunched over, her grief intensifying. "Didn't you promise me that you would fight to the death even on the battlefield? Zhebi Azhuo, why did you break your promise! Why won't you answer me!"
Aunt Xu's anxious voice rang out: "Nanu, move back a little, move a bit... Listen to what your auntie is saying—sleep talk doesn't count. You can't risk your life and your child's because of a single sleep-talking remark. What will happen when Azhuo comes back, all alone?"
“Yes… Brother Zhuo is all alone, what can we do?” Nanu slowly turned to the side, fiddling with her hair that had been blown by the cold wind, revealing half of her face that was already pale from the cold, and said lifelessly, “Brother Zhuo will not come back.”
“Auntie, I know you mean well, you don’t need to hide it from me anymore… I grew up with A-Yue, I can tell if she’s lying or not. I even made her swear to the mountain god, but she wouldn’t dare…”
Aguo, supporting Xu Sao, choked out, "Nanu, please... live desperately... give yourself a way to live, give the child a way to live..."
Nanu shook her head, crying, "Sister Aguo, it's too hard! Nanu has no strength left to live... Please let me go!" As she spoke, she supported herself with one hand on the ground and the other on her waist, swaying as she tried to stand up.
"Na—" Aunt Xu and A-Guo cried out at the same time. I rushed out and put my arms around them to stop their screams.
Nanu turned her head shakily. I released Aunt Xu and Aguo and said in a deep voice, "Nanu, stay still."
Large tears slid down Nanu's cheeks: "Qingniangzi, are you trying to persuade me too?"
“I have no right to advise you—” As soon as I opened my mouth, a mouthful of cold wind rushed in, like a dull knife scraping across my throat and reaching my heart and lungs. I struggled to stop coughing and gasped, “I have never experienced the hardship of ten months of pregnancy, nor have I ever had a man I couldn’t bear to part with.”
“I’m living in this world, and all I have to do is take care of myself. It’s easier for me than for you all… The more you worry, the harder it is to live.” I pointed to Aunt Xu. “Na Nu, look at your aunt. She moved up the mountain to take better care of you. Her two children have high fevers, and she hasn’t even dared to go see them.”
"She hides away and cries secretly, and after she's done crying, she still has to pull herself together and continue taking care of everyone. What does she want? Isn't it just that you all can safely get through the hurdle of childbirth? You think you can just give up on yourself and the baby because you're too weak? Are you going to make her feel guilty for the rest of her life?"
Nanu lay on the ground, sobbing, "Auntie... I'm sorry..."
“Nanu,” Aunt Xu wiped away her tears, “I don’t want to hear you say sorry. I just want you to live well.”
“But Brother Zhuo is gone, I really can’t hold on anymore… I dreamt about him last night, he was smiling at me and said he missed me and the baby…” As she spoke, Nanu straightened up and tried to stand up again.
"Don't move!" Wang Yunhui's voice came from behind.
"Lady Wang!"
Wang Yunhui, leaning on her cane and supported by the woman who had delivered the message earlier, walked to the side of the three of us.
"Even if you can't hold on, you have to hold on!" Wang Yunhui, her hair disheveled and covered in dust, said sternly, "Your man went to his death so that you and the children could live, not so that you could rush down to join him! Life is only a few decades long, and you will reunite sooner or later! Why rush things!"
Nanu collapsed to the ground, covering her face and weeping bitterly.
“Good child, don’t be afraid,” Wang Yunhui said softly. “Relax, give birth to the child, and we will help you take care of it; if you have nowhere to go, come and work at my weaving workshop.”
"Yes!" Aunt Xu exclaimed excitedly, "Nanu, with everyone backing you up, what are you afraid of!"
"I, I—" Nanu raised her head and looked over, her previously empty eyes finally showing a glimmer of life.
A-Guo stamped her foot: "Come back here! Let's become in-laws right now! If it's a girl, you don't need to provide a dowry; if it's a boy, I won't accept any betrothal gifts!"
With a sob in her voice, Nanu said, "You're from Bajiaodong, and I'm from Niumendong. Are you really willing to become in-laws with me..."
A-Guo raised his arm: "Why wouldn't you? The mountain god is my witness!"
“A-Guo—” Nanu cried as she reached out her hand to everyone.
Aguo and I rushed to the edge of the cliff and together lifted her up. Inadvertently, we noticed a puddle of water where Nanu had been sitting.
I hesitated and said, "This is—"
Aguo turned around and asked nervously, "Nanu, do you need to pee?"
Nanu said in a panic, "I, I don't want to pee... but, but I feel my stomach sinking down."
Aunt Xu stepped closer, reached under Nanu's skirt, and her face paled: "Your water has broken!"
Nanu's knees buckled, and she leaned against my body, sliding down.
Aguo quickly supported her waist: "Nanu, hold on! We'll help you down the mountain right now!"
Aunt Xu pressed on Nanu's belly: "It's too late, quickly help her to lie down in a sheltered place!" As she spoke, she pulled me aside, turned to the side and leaned on me, "Qing Niangzi, go and call for help, and bring up the tools for childbirth from my room!"
Wang Yunhui and the woman from the village went around to a huge rock. The woman from the village took off her outer garment and spread it on the ground. Wang Yunhui wanted to do the same, but the woman from the village firmly stopped her.
As I walked, I took off my robe, and as I passed the two of them, I threw it down: "Stop arguing, use mine!"
A group of people rushed around, and by noon, they finally managed to ensure the safety of both mother and daughter. Because the baby was born in the mountains, Nanu insisted on naming her "Big Mountain".
Dashan was born fair-skinned and plump, and her cries were loud. Because Nanu had exhausted herself before giving birth, she didn't have enough milk for a while, so the "burden" of feeding Dashan naturally fell on the shoulders of her future mother-in-law, Aguo.
Newborn babies have small appetites, and Da Shan fell asleep after only a few bites. A Guo couldn't bear to put her down and held her in his arms, showing her off everywhere.
A local woman jokingly asked A-Guo, "You have two children, so who is Da Shan going to marry, the eldest or the youngest?"
A-Gu grinned and said, "When the little girl grows up, she can choose whichever she likes. Anyway, as her mother-in-law, I'm happy to let her have it!"
The old woman laughed and scolded, "Look at this Xu Zi! You say she's fat, and she's already getting out of control!"
A-Guo swayed over to my side again, and like a treasure, lifted a corner of the swaddle blanket to reveal the baby's face: "Qing Niangzi, look how well this little girl's forehead is formed! Heavens, heavens... What's that saying of learned people again?"
I laughed and said, "A full and prominent forehead!"
“Yes, yes, the forehead is full!” A-Guo nodded repeatedly, gently stroking the soft, bulging flesh of the baby’s chin with her fingertips. “And this ground—”
“The chin is square and round.” As I said this, I couldn’t help but reach out and touch Da Shan’s chubby cheeks. I didn’t expect that although they looked a bit wrinkled, they felt like freshly peeled eggs. I couldn’t help but exclaim, “So smooth!”
A-Guo smiled and offered me the swaddling clothes: "Qing Niangzi, come and hold it for a while."
I hurriedly dodged, saying, "No, no! He's too small, I can't hug him!"
A-Guo protested, "Where is it small? My three babies weren't even this big when they were two months old!"
A woman from the Liao ethnic group spread her arms, blocking my way out: "Qing Niangzi is a woman as brave as a mountain eagle, how can she not even hold a baby? Aguo, give your wife to her!"
"Okay!"
"Oh dear." I braced myself and took the swaddled baby into my arms, feeling like I was carrying a full basin of water, which would spill if I wasn't careful. But A-Guo and that woman had no intention of "letting me go." One patted my shoulder and the other tapped my arm, constantly saying, "Relax, relax."
I tried to keep my balance: "You two, keep your voices down, don't wake Dashan!"
Aguo held my left arm and pulled it inward: "Place your little head close to my chest so she can feel your heartbeat. No matter how noisy it is around, she won't wake up!"
I instinctively tightened my arms around her and looked down at the tiny bundle in my arms. Her eyelashes were fine and soft, trembling slightly with her even breathing; her thin lips were pressed tightly together, and she would occasionally purse them.
Suddenly, I felt my eyes burning – so close, just a tiny bit too close, and this tiny, delicate life would never have come into this world.
A-Guo asked me with a smile, "How is it? Isn't it fragrant and soft? Do you want to have one yourself?"
"Wah—" Da Shan cried at just the right moment.
My heart skipped a beat: the excrement and piss behind that soft, fragrant backside were not easy to deal with... I quickly returned the mountain to A-Guo: "I don't want to!"
The women in the room laughed so hard they were doubled over.
A woman said, "That Qing Niangzi won't fall for your tricks!"
"Hey, hey—" the first woman clapped her hands and said, "Don't talk nonsense! Qing Niangzi is such a smart person, she won't even fall for a man's tricks, would she fall for ours? Aguo and I are just trying to be kind, even if we don't have a child, we still need to know how to manage it! Otherwise, how will we take care of our grandchildren in the future!"
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