Love always starts from youth and ferments, or becomes as rich as a blooming flower, or fades to as pale as a dead leaf.
When you fall in love with someone and can't forget them even after breaking up, it doesn't necessarily mean that you still love them. It could be an obsession or a habit that you can't forget.
Just like me, foolishly chasing someone, unwilling to let go, just wanting to wait for him.
—————Gu Yuyan】
Sixteen years old is the age when love begins to blossom and spring comes.
At that time, the scholars were full of ambition and had high aspirations.
But it was at that age that I met him.
Someone I loved for two years, obsessed with for three years, and finally became a habit that I can't forget.
How long is two years? I tell you, it’s very short.
When you are with your lover, you feel like you are fighting for every minute and every second, and racing against time.
Because sweetness and happiness always make people want to do everything they can to keep them, and don't want them to slip away from their fingertips.
But I eventually forgot that happiness is like quicksand between your fingers. The tighter you hold on to it, the faster it slips away.
But if you don't hold on tight, it will be blown away by the wind.
I never thought that the love between him and I would be so fragile.
I admit that I am too neurotic, which is why I became so extreme.
Seeing that there were other beautiful girls around him, she couldn't help but feel jealous and couldn't help but step forward and question him loudly.
This behavior eventually made me lose him.
Do you regret it?
No, I don't regret it.
Even though I know I was wrong, I don't regret it, because I was just protecting the love that belongs to me in my own way.
It was just that I used the wrong method, so I chose to change.
Feifei always thought that my breakup with him was caused by someone else's intervention. No matter how I explained, she thought I was too kind.
At one point, our friendship almost broke down because of the girl who was suspected of interfering.
At that time, I understood more clearly that even if no third party did anything, there would be subtle changes in the relationship between two people.
No matter how beautiful love, family, or friendship are, they all require the accumulation of many factors, and in the end they will either be so strong that no one can match them.
Or, so fragile that it collapses with a single blow.
The moment I understood, I was very glad that I did not fall into the devil's way or confusion.
In order to divert my attention, Feifei and I created Sound of Music.
Before I could even react, I ran to the ancient style channel to take charge of the situation.
Just because that person likes singing very much, and also likes singing ancient style songs.
I once told him that listening to his songs can light up my whole world.
He said, then sing it only for me.
After all, it was just a casual joke.
I stay at the ancient music channel every day and listen to the songs he once sang being sung by different people.
It sounds just as nice and is just as likable, but I just feel like something is missing.
Until one day, a familiar voice sounded, startling my ears and disturbing my already restless heart.
For the next two years, I showed up every day at the time he was supposed to sing.
Gradually, I found that the initial excitement was gone, but when I thought of that person, my heart was still burning.
I didn’t quite understand what it was at the time, but I just knew that my love for him had always been there.
Until now, it may have become an indelible obsession.
During a chat room joking about Tao Zhiyaoyao and him, I couldn't help but open the voice chat and said, "Tao Zhiyaoyao doesn't deserve him."
I know I was impulsive, but I really couldn't help it.
From then on, I found that as soon as I showed up, he would leave after singing.
Or they would just say they had something to do and leave without singing at all.
I was silent and felt very uncomfortable.
He must have recognized my voice, which is why he avoided me.
I don’t want to embarrass him, so I don’t show up often, and even if I do, I choose to show up when he’s not around.
But my actions were faster than my reason, so I opened another small account, put on the vest of Liuli Ruoming, and waited in Shengshengdongting.
I really didn't expect what happened next to be so dramatic.
My cousin found the person he loved, which led to my reunion with him.
After five years, his eyes are still so gentle
But it is more dazzling and attracts my attention more.
In the past few years, it’s not that no one has pursued me, and there is no shortage of people who are better and more outstanding than him.
There were even some who were similar to him, but they didn't move me at all.
Because I understand one thing clearly, they are not him.
And all I want is him.
I don’t know when I got used to this kind of attention.
I'm used to this kind of persistence, used to waiting for him, used to looking forward to the day when he can come back to me.
Habits are really scary things.
Now that I can be close to him again, it feels like I have finally gotten what I have been waiting for for a long time.
But there was no excitement, only a calm peace and a refreshing warmth.
This is no longer love, but a deeper affection in habit.
As usual, I played Sheng Sheng Dong Ting, and today there is his microphone sequence.
After we all played together on the ancient style channel that day, although the relationship between him and I had not been made clear, we both seemed to have a certain understanding.
As soon as I entered, I heard the sound of searching.
"The misty rain has come. I'm really looking forward to it."
Then Yu Shufei's voice rang out: "Yes, some people are really looking forward to it."
I listened in confusion, not quite understanding. Did they take the wrong medicine, or didn't take any medicine at all?
This is Xunmi's favorite sentence to say. Once you get to know her, everyone will be more or less influenced by her.
"Okay, stop making a fuss. Yanyu, today is your birthday, so we organized a special show for you."
Xunmi had just finished speaking when Yu Shufei followed up, "Yes, yes, yes, don't thank us too much."
Then the voice that she was familiar with to the core came from the headset, still as clear and elegant as ever.
"I am always heartbroken and never compromise with love. I always cling to the past and leave no room for love."
"I always long for love, but I always cry until dawn... I am always afraid of falling too deeply in love, but I love you so truly."
...
"Yuyan, perhaps love has become a habit now, but I still want to tell you that I love you and want to walk through the rest of my life with you."
The lines of reconciliation, with a heavy hoarseness, mixed with tenderness and bitterness, made me cry in an instant.
It turns out that I'm not the only one who's used to you being in my world?
Bi Yanbo, we have been entangled since we were sixteen years old until now, when we are twenty-three, for a full seven years.
I finally waited for the words that would be engraved in my life, but tears had already blurred my vision.
"Yanbo, I'm so glad I didn't give up."
Fortunately, we still have each other in our hearts.
Even if this is just a habit of mutual entanglement, it cannot erase the recognition of each other.
···
[Someone once asked me why so many relationships can be reconciled?
Even if a broken mirror is repaired, the marks will remain forever and cannot be erased.
I replied: Because we have been together before, we understand and know each other.
Only when you lose someone will you seek them little by little in your life.
If you don’t meet someone more suitable, that person will gradually become an obsession.
It feels normal to think of her/him, and when you meet him/her, your eyes will naturally be on her/him.
It's just a habit.
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