What is trust? It means that even though I say I believe you, there is still a little doubt in my heart with good intentions.
What is absolute trust? It means that after I say I believe you, I am still worried in my heart. I am not worried that you will lie to me, but I am worried that what you do or what you say will hurt you.
To put it bluntly, it means protection and loving you with all my heart.
Unfortunately, I understood it too late, and I was destined to miss you and lose you forever.
—————Ying Heng】
How long is two years? 730 days, 17520 hours, 1051200 minutes, 63072000 seconds.
How much can I do? But it's enough for me to understand what absolute trust is.
It also taught me that a relationship that has been cracked is like a mirror. Even if it is repaired, the person reflected in it will still have two halves.
Xinxin, I was wrong, really wrong, but I know it's too late.
I'm sorry, I said I would protect you, but when the end of the world came, I didn't do it.
I'm sorry, I said I believed you, but what happened afterwards also emphasized that I never did it.
I'm sorry, the two years you gave me were destroyed by my own hands.
Do you regret it? Of course I do, but I have no choice. I admit that I am a coward.
I never told you that I have a twin brother. It’s not that I don’t like him, but I feel guilty.
When my brother was kidnapped, it was actually because of my willfulness. After school, I wanted to drag my brother to eat marshmallows, which led to my brother being taken away and suffering.
After my brother came back, I was very happy and spent every day around him.
But because of me, I insisted on following my brother who was learning Taekwondo. When we were crossing the road, a car rushed towards us and my brother protected me.
He went to the beautiful heaven, but left me alone in hell.
I thought I had forgotten it long ago, but I always think of it and have never forgotten my brother's request at that time.
He said that if a very cute and kind girl came to me in the future, please take good care of her for him, because he owed her that.
At that time, I didn’t understand what this meant, but I remembered its cuteness and kindness.
So from then on, my subconscious mind has been determined that the girls I like are cute and kind.
The first time I saw you, I was attracted to you. You have a clean temperament and two small dimples on your cheeks when you smile, which is very cute.
Can't bear to hurt a small animal, so kind.
At that time, I thought that you were the lover tailor-made for me by God. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with you. I was sure of it at first sight.
Before the end of the world, we lived very happily, and after the end of the world, we lived just as happily.
Until Mu Lan appeared, at that time I looked at her differently because of the cleanliness and kindness she gave me.
I never understood why she seemed to enjoy following me so much, but it was nice to have a mutant like this on the team.
I don’t know when it started, but our relationship gradually became distant, and then all the stories of you bullying Mu Lan were exposed one by one.
When I saw it with my own eyes, I felt so heartbroken that I almost suffocated, because the beautiful image of you in my heart was shattered.
During that time, I chose to distance myself from you, but if I had known the outcome, I would never have made such a stupid decision.
Some mistakes really require a lifetime to make up for.
I believed Mu Lan. After she returned to the Mo family, I was worried that she would be bullied, so I agreed to the engagement your father proposed.
In fact, it was just a temporary solution and I didn’t take it seriously at all.
Meeting you again, my heart keeps beating because it has never forgotten you.
It's like a person who was once blindfolded, and suddenly opened the lid a little and saw a different scene.
Do you know what I was thinking when Xunmi stood up for you and beat me up?
I was wondering, how can an outsider trust you without hesitation, but why can't I, who have been with you for so many years?
Looking back on what happened afterwards, I feel that I really was the kind of scumbag that Xunzhao described.
I always thought we still had a chance and could be together forever.
As soon as I wanted to understand what absolute trust was, by the time I understood it, another mountain fell on me.
The girl my brother mentioned that year appeared, and it was Mu Lan.
I also understood why she was always around me and why she was so excited about my reaction.
I understand why she framed you everywhere. It was because she thought I was her brother Ying Heng.
I still remember when I was little, I asked my mother why my brother and I were both called Ying Heng, as it sounded like we were calling the same person.
My mother touched my head lovingly and said, because you are originally one, the eternal Heng means that we hope Xiao Heng can live forever.
The "heng" in "balance" means that we hope Xiaoheng will have no worries, and everything can be balanced and stable, so that nothing bad will happen.
Whether it is Xiaoheng or Xiaoheng, you must support each other. When one of you can't walk anymore, the other will take over and continue walking.
So after my brother passed away, I took over his path and followed the trajectory laid out for the family heir.
My brother who has always protected me is the god of my world.
I never refuse anything he says, including taking care of the little girl in his heart.
Now the little girl has grown up, and she has become so crazy because of her infatuation with the wrong person.
I asked Xunmi for help, and all the extra things on her body disappeared. She stood there silently and smiled, as if it was the first time we met.
But as soon as I leave her sight, she will become manic, smashing things at the very least and even hurting herself at the worst.
"Brother Ying, Brother Ying, where are you, where are you?"
Bang, bang, bang, the sound of various things breaking came from the room again.
The man who was writing in the corner of the balcony quickly put away his notebook and walked in. "I'm here."
A woman in white clothes with messy hair immediately rushed over, hugged the man, and smiled foolishly.
"Lanlan was very well behaved today and didn't get hurt." The woman seemed to have thought of something, and quickly took the man's hand and said happily.
The man ruffled her hair and replied with a smile: "Well, Lanlan is very well behaved today."
"As a reward for your good behavior, Lanlan, I will take you out for a walk today." The weather outside was also quite good.
Walking on the street holding the woman's hand, there was a peaceful scene everywhere, without the dejection and embarrassment of the first few years.
A woman in a light blue dress came towards us. When she saw us, she was stunned for a moment, then smiled and nodded, and then passed by.
I turned around anxiously, looked at her back and opened my mouth to speak, only to find that her face was covered with tears. The tears slid into my mouth and I tasted bitterness.
Just like my heart at this moment.
Xinxin, I wish I could be with you so much, but unfortunately it is impossible to have both.
Tell me whether my choice is right or wrong.
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