The winter light is cold and quiet, bright but without a trace of warmth.
Light shines through the diamond-shaped lattices of the window lattice and is projected onto the dark blue floor tiles, forming several similar circular light spots.
The Queen Mother had her back to the window, a faint halo of light surrounding her like a silver ring, making her feel quiet and peaceful.
The pearl tassels on the phoenix hairpin were motionless, emitting a soft glow, like crystal clear dewdrops.
The ruby and jade beads at the end of the tassels sparkle and shine brightly when illuminated by the sunlight, showing the wearer's noble status.
The Queen Mother's eyes were calm, without any emotion, as if she was talking about someone else's affairs.
"The Emperor thinks that I have remained silent all these years because I have feelings for the Regent?"
Leng Hong was silent. He was indeed worried about this.
The Queen Mother's eyes turned slightly cold, and then returned to calmness and composure.
She spoke, her voice like the calm surface of a river, flowing slowly without a ripple.
"How could I develop feelings for someone who hurt me, who deliberately plotted to murder me? Wouldn't that be a betrayal of my former self, making a mockery of the pain I'd endured?"
"Does the Emperor think he has feelings for me?"
The Queen Mother's eyes were deep and her voice was getting colder.
"It had been less than a month since the previous emperor passed away, and the emperor had just ascended the throne. The emperor was young, and the regent held all the power. He considered me a part of his power, and he used this as a means to demonstrate his power."
"And..." The Queen Mother's voice became heavier.
"He thought I was a proud daughter of aristocratic family, and that I would not be able to endure such humiliation. He thought I would commit suicide, leaving you, the Emperor, alone."
"By then, the young emperor will have completely lost the protection of his parents, and your ten uncles will be in their prime, eyeing the throne covetously. Emperor, you will have no choice but to rely on them alone, becoming their puppet and letting them do whatever they want."
Leng Hong would never forget those years when the Regent was monopolizing power and the ten imperial uncles were always restless and ready to make moves in their respective fiefdoms.
Those days were extremely difficult. Even though they were orphans and widows, they lived on thin ice and were in fear at every step in the palace. They were afraid of being poisoned by the regent and of the emperor's uncle rebelling.
The mother and son depend on each other for survival. It was the mother who used her meticulous mind, calm mentality and exquisite strategy to deal with the ambitious regent and others and protect him from growing up.
Leng Hong couldn't imagine what he would do if his mother committed suicide at that time, and what would be his fate?
It is estimated that he will not live for more than a few years. He will be forced by the regent to write a letter of abdication, and will be forced to drink poisoned wine and die.
Thinking of this, Leng Hong felt a chill down his spine, and a sudden, belated sense of fear welled up in his heart.
Unlike Leng Hong's uneasiness and relief, the empress dowager's eyes remained calm and indifferent.
The days of crisis and fear are over. She has successfully secured her position as empress dowager and also successfully helped her son secure the throne.
Now that everything was over, she would no longer have any emotions about the past sufferings, hardships, and dangers.
The Queen Mother glanced at Leng Hong with eyes as calm as water, and a tough look suddenly appeared in her eyes.
"But I will not die. I will not do as he wishes."
"Humph, everyone in the world believes that women who have been humiliated should die to prove their loyalty, but I won't. I won't be like those chaste and heroic women written about by pedantic writers, who would chop off their arms if a man touched their wrists. Being a chaste and heroic woman like that won't do me any good."
"Dying to express one's will will only earn one a medal of honor for scholars. Scholars across the world will mourn the loss of their colleagues and use pen and paper to write monuments and biographies for them. But what can I gain? My dying to express my will will only leave the young emperor completely without support and hand over the Daqi throne to others!"
"I will not take you with me to die, leaving you with only the posthumous title of Shang!"
"I want to live, protect you, and raise you until you can stand on your own."
The Queen Mother finished these words in one breath, then paused and breathed a sigh of relief, "Fortunately, you are a hardworking person."
After hearing this, Leng Hong was stunned for a moment. His breathing became faster and faster, and his heart felt sour and unbearable. A feeling of guilt arose spontaneously, making him dare not look up at his mother.
At that time, he hated the Regent for hurting his mother, and he hated himself even more for being too young and unable to protect his mother.
For many years, this hatred was pent up in his heart. He was blinded by hatred and did not think about how much pain his mother endured and how much dedication and sacrifice she made for him.
However, he often quarreled with his mother, making her angry...
"Mother, I..." Leng Hong lowered his eyes, not daring to look directly into the empress dowager's eyes. He moved his lips slightly and whispered.
He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say.
The Queen Mother glanced at him, as if seeing through his thoughts.
"Emperor, I have never told you about this matter, nor have I asked you to avenge me. That's because I don't consider this a sacrifice, and it's not entirely for you."
"I did this for myself."
"I entered the palace as a mere concubine. In the midst of the intrigue and bloodless murder of the harem, I gave birth to you, the late emperor's only prince. I protected you meticulously, watched you grow up, and watched you ascend the throne. And finally, I became the empress dowager..."
"This journey has been extremely difficult and arduous. I don't want to suffer so much and then die in vain without getting anything in return. I won't accept this. I want to sit comfortably as the Queen Mother!"
After saying this, the Queen Mother looked at Leng Hong calmly.
"The Emperor has been thinking about this all these years. Can't he let it go? I only look at the results, not the process. I only look at the present and the future, not the past. I hope the Emperor will do the same."
"If the emperor has let this matter affect his character, then he is still too young and needs more tempering."
Leng Hong's tight-fitting brocade clothes were soaked with cold sweat.
He bowed his head and said respectfully, "My Queen Mother is telling you that I am too weak-minded and hold too much weight on the past, which has affected me too deeply. I will work hard to sharpen my mind and not let you down."
Hearing this, the Queen Mother nodded, and then she waved her hand gently and said:
"After talking for a while, I am also tired. The emperor can go and do his work. I need to rest now."
Leng Hong felt extremely guilty and didn't know how to face the Queen Mother next. Although his heart knot had been untied, he still needed time to digest it all.
"I will not disturb your mother's rest any longer. I will take my leave."
Leng Hong hurriedly retreated. After respectfully seeing off the emperor, Nanny Qiao went into the inner hall to serve the empress dowager.
The Queen Mother breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Aunt Qiao coming over. "Don't ask anyone else to come in yet. Just stay with me for a while."
Nanny Qiao agreed.
Nanny Qiao grew up with the Queen Mother and accompanied her throughout her life.
From the boudoir to the palace, from being a lady from a noble family to becoming the empress dowager.
Over the past few decades, the people around them have come and gone, all of which have become a thing of the past, remaining only in their memories.
In the end, only the two of them were left, relying on each other.
Nanny Qiao sat on a small stool beside the Empress Dowager. She looked at the expressions of the Empress Dowager and the Emperor and vaguely guessed what was going on.
"Empress Dowager?" she said softly, her voice already hoarse and seasoned with age.
The Queen Mother looked at her and asked in a low voice, "How did he see you that day?"
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