This is what her aunt told Mo Yan, and it's also what she told herself: you can't compromise, some things can't be compromised, and some people can't be forgiven.
"Auntie is right. We can't settle. We have to make ourselves happy. Whether or not there is someone special is not important. What matters is whether we are happy."
The word "forced" itself implies unhappiness. Forcing oneself to be unhappy, and thinking about how disgusting they are, only makes one more unhappy.
Of course, compared to being unhappy herself, Mo Yan would make them even more unhappy.
"Yan Yan, whatever others say is false; only your own feelings are true, no matter what. You must think about the grievances you've suffered. Your parents didn't raise you to suffer."
Just let them stay in jail for life.
It's okay without a man; you can live a good life on your own. Children are important, but you are more important.
Mo Yan knew that her aunt didn't actually need approval; she just wanted to share her thoughts with others. Perhaps some people wouldn't understand why she would get a divorce in middle age, and perhaps they would even gossip about her.
Mo Yan thought that her aunt must have argued with them all by herself and won the argument.
But when she's alone, she also wants to find some sense of belonging, and she wants someone who can understand her feelings.
"Yes, Auntie, I know everything. Of course I won't let Lin An off the hook. What do you mean by 'a day as husband and wife is a hundred days of kindness'? That's all nonsense. From the very beginning, his family has been despicable. They deceived me from the start. They still want me to forgive them? Dream on."
I want him to pay back everything he owes me, and I also wish him all the worst in the future.
Hearing Mo Yan say this, her aunt breathed a sigh of relief. She told herself that she had done nothing wrong, since even Mo Yan thought the same way.
"Yan Yan, do you think it's realistic for me to want to have a child?"
With someone supporting her, she can stick to her own ideas, even if she knows that what she is doing is right, even if she knows that what she is doing is not wrong.
Even when those around her offered disapproval, she still longed to find someone who would support her and understand her.
Her parents and relatives all said that she was already at an age where there was no need for a divorce, and that it would be better to just turn a blind eye and let it go, as divorce at this age was shameful.
They also said that if she got divorced, they would never help her. If she ever had a headache or fever in the future, she wouldn't have to ask her family for help. If she stayed with Lin An, she might be able to ask Lin An's son for help in the future.
hehe.
She found it ironic; when had she ever said she needed to rely on her family?
Her divorce is a disgrace to them. Did they even see her suffering?
However, she really does want to have a child.
She had always believed that she was infertile, and although she didn't say it, she really wanted to be a mother.
Now that she knows she has the opportunity to be a mother, she naturally wants to fulfill this wish.
But as soon as she said it, they all started to object.
She said she was too old for that, it was shameful. Her mother even said she would cut ties with her if she had a child.
She knew in her heart that since she had no children, her nephew would get a share of everything in the future. That's what her mother had been saying all these years: "You don't have any children, so Yangyang is your son. He'll take care of you in your old age and see you off when you die, but you absolutely can't mistreat Yangyang," and so on...
"Did your aunt go for a checkup?"
Mo Yan didn't say that you couldn't have children, nor did she say it was shameful; she just looked at her very sincerely.
"What? I did it. So I'm fertile after all. It was Lin An who conspired with his friends to tell me I had a problem."
“I know, Auntie. What I mean is, have you gone for a fertility check-up on your own? Is your body currently suitable for pregnancy? If you want to, I can go with you.”
I think if you can be sure, then it's definitely possible.
"We need to figure out how to take care of him/her from now on, and arrange his/her life accordingly. Then there won't be any problems."
Everyone has the right to make their own choices, but it's important to get a proper check-up beforehand.
"I'm scared." My aunt was very scared, scared that her hope had turned into disappointment.
Mo Yan took her hand and placed it in his palm, a smile on his lips.
"Many people think that pregnancy is nothing, and that people in the past didn't have any checkups during their ten months of pregnancy and still gave birth to their children."
That's true, but not everyone is so lucky. The check-up is to ensure the baby is born safely and to keep the mother out of danger.
These are all necessary. You brought him into this world and want to give him the best of everything. The most important thing is to see that he has a healthy body.
We will all grow old and be unable to take care of our children. If something really happens to them, and you die, what will happen to them?
Although some of what he said may sound realistic and unpleasant to hear, it is the truth.
Many middle-aged people have three children because they have the financial means to ensure that even if they die, they can leave their children all the options and they will be able to live a good life.
But what about ordinary people?
You don't have much money, just enough to get by, and even if you have a little, it's not enough.
Putting aside everything else,
Take children for example. These days, everything costs money, from food and drink to toileting. You can use diapers, but what about formula?
If the child gets a headache or fever, you'll have to take care of them. If you do, then no one will earn money.
In the hospital, when a person is running around and the doctor says that something is wrong here and something needs to be checked there, their whole mind goes blank and they have no idea what to do.
That's not all; the doctor won't give you time to process what's happening and will make you decide quickly.
With all sorts of tests, injections, and expenses, and the child suffering, unable to eat, and listless, you don't even have time to feel sad, let alone grieve.
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