Chapter 602 Quasimodo's Heart (13)
The streets of Seoul in October were filled with many fallen leaves of the French plane trees. The woman with gorgeous makeup and the girl with a strange appearance stood silently beside the newsstand, just like the upright but silent plane trees beside them.
Jin Xianzi lit a cigarette and was about to put it into her mouth, but Shi Yi took the cigarette away. She smiled and didn't mind, but asked the passerby for another one.
"You see, having a pretty face is very convenient for doing many things." She lit the cigarette and put it into her mouth in one go, without giving Shi Yi a chance to take the cigarette away. After taking a deep breath, she exhaled lightly and slowly, shrugged her shoulders self-deprecatingly, and said in a hoarse voice, "I thought I would never tell anyone about my past again." If it weren't for the slap. She didn't say the second half of the sentence.
Shi Yi stood beside her, quietly admiring the scenery of the falling plane leaves and listening to her story.
"I became a mistress of a rich man when I was sixteen." She thought the Chinese girls around her would be shocked, but when she glanced at the other man's face, she saw that he was indifferent and his expression did not change at all.
"He was old enough to be my father, but he gave me a lot of money. I was very short of money at that time. He told me that as long as I was with him, I could spend the money as I pleased and buy whatever I wanted. At that time, I thought it would be great for a girl to have money, not to mention that I should spend a lot of money because I have a beautiful face. I foolishly thought that thanks to my beautiful face, I attracted the money I lacked."
"I was only sixteen at that time, but I thought I knew a lot. After being brainwashed by him, I felt that life was just like this - it didn't matter who I slept with. What's more, he gave me so much money and I had a certain degree of freedom. So, I was happily decadent every day, never thinking about the future or the future. Until one day, I found a family photo in his wallet."
"His wife was very beautiful, but she was no longer young. You could even see her wrinkles in the photo. His son was nestled in his and his wife's laps, reminding me of my parents abroad. For the first time, I felt guilty and took the initiative to leave him. He seemed to know that I was leaving and never called or sent me a text message. It was not until a long time later that a stranger deposited a large sum of money into my card and his wife called me that I knew he was dead."
The cigarette had burned out. Jin Xianzi pinched the end of the cigarette with her thumb and index finger, rolled it against the sycamore tree and threw it into the trash can.
"You hate him." Shi Yi took the initiative to return the cigarette he had confiscated to her, with a calm face, "He ruined your yearning for love."
Jin Xianzi broke the cigarette in her hand inch by inch, and her beautiful face was full of anger: "He thought that the last sum of money could make up for me. But for so many years, I only hated him. He destroyed the most precious thing for me as a girl, and made me dare not fall in love with men or be alone with them until now."
But he was dead. She could never go back to him again, and return all the slaps and hatred.
"Your life is your own." Shi Yi extended his hand and held her slender fingers, and said in a calm tone, "We don't have to pretend to be magnanimous to forgive those who have hurt us if we can't forgive them. You can hate openly. You can even regard his death as the curse you cast on him taking effect. You just have to remember that the most precious thing in life is yourself. We can't deny all the people we will meet in the future just because of those bad people with ulterior motives we met on the road."
Jin Xianzi smiled, but this smile was as bitter as Coptis chinensis, "He lied to me. He lied to me that I wasn't married and that I didn't have children. I always thought that I was the only one who was harmed by my fall, but when his wife called me, I knew that I would never be free in this life - I not only hurt myself, but also another innocent woman."
"That's why you have such a cold personality, that's why you pay for your own mortgage, that's why you have a beautiful appearance but still have no boyfriend." Shi Yi gently hugged her in his arms and whispered to comfort her, "That's all in the past. You are so brand new now that everyone looks up to you and envies you."
"Even so, the past still exists like a haze in my heart. I hate men." Jin Xianzi raised her hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes, and whispered to herself, "I also hate my vain sixteen-year-old self."
"Forgiveness is what God will do. What you have to do now is to move forward. Xianzi, you have to stride forward like before." Shi Yi patted her thin shoulders and said gently, "Beautiful but inexperienced girls have always been the prey of those wretched and despicable men. You shouldn't blame yourself."
"I feel so dirty." Jin Xianzi pinched her thigh hard. "The older I get, the less I understand why I was so stupid. I hate him, but sometimes I feel that the person I should hate the most is myself. If I hadn't been vain, I wouldn't have been fooled by him. If I could do it again, I would never be deceived. I want to start from the first step with my feet on the ground."
Shi Yi understood that she was not telling her past to find comfort, but she had been holding it in for too long, and she was about to collapse, so under the stimulation of today's slap, she had a reason to pour out her emotions. So Shi Yi listened to her talking to herself quietly until she stopped talking to herself.
"I'm sorry. Just pretend that you didn't hear anything I said today." Jin Xianzi broke away from her arms, took out powder and lipstick from her bag and began to touch up her makeup. Her calm appearance did not show any of her previous fragility.
This is the life of an adult. Even if you have been hurt, even if you have wounds in your heart, as long as you still deal with people, you have to be careful to cover up all the scars. Because, you don’t know if your scars will be used by people with ulterior motives. She felt a little sorry for her impulsive behavior just now.
Shi Yi turned around and nodded heavily. I guess Jin Xianzi is regretting telling her her secret at this moment. But she will forget all this.
The two returned to the company one after the other, and Kato Kaori was still a little surprised. They obviously went to buy medicine together, didn’t they? Why was the atmosphere so unpleasant when they came back? And Xianzi’s face, why didn’t the slap mark on it disappear. She scratched her hair and walked away in a daze.
In the next few days, Jin Xianzi didn’t take the initiative to talk to Shi Yi again. Shi Yi also tried his best to avoid talking to her. Just like that, the weekend came again.
(End of this chapter)
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