Chapter 178
The living room and hallway of the Cheng family's house were deathly silent.
The aunt who had been standing near the sofa had already quietly retreated, not daring to listen to these shocking family matters any longer. Mr. Cheng closed his eyes to calm himself down, while Mrs. Cheng silently shed tears.
Cheng Xingxing looked left at her father and mother, then right at Cheng Yue, completely bewildered.
She seemed to understand something, but because the amount of information in those arguments was too great and exceeded her previous understanding, she still hasn't fully comprehended or accepted it.
“Sister…you…” Cheng Xingxing looked at Cheng Yue uneasily, “What are you talking about, what’s this about exchanging lives…”
Cheng Yue looked at her.
Looking at this face, which is so similar to my own, yet the temperament is completely different.
Mr. Cheng just said that although he and Mrs. Cheng favored Cheng Xingxing a little, they were careful to maintain a proper balance.
But when it comes to matters of the heart, where is there any sense of proportion?
A scale that has been tilted for a long time will only become more and more skewed.
Both the palm and the back of the hand are fleshy, but one will always have more flesh than the other.
Unbeknownst to Cheng's parents, Cheng Xingxing and Cheng Yue received unequal amounts of love.
Therefore, Cheng Yue's feelings for Cheng Xingxing are very complicated.
She was jealous of Cheng Xingxing's parents' favoritism, but at the same time, she despised her own jealousy. After all, if she hadn't absorbed so much nutrition in the womb, Cheng Xingxing wouldn't be in such poor health.
This twisted emotion caused her to suffer agonizing pain for countless nights.
Now that the truth has come out, it turns out that her existence was more despicable than she had imagined, and Cheng Xingxing was more innocent than she had thought.
What right does she have to resent Cheng Xingxing?
"Don't you understand yet?" Cheng Yue's tone was light and laced with malice. "I should have died long ago, but I exchanged my life with you, so I was able to live. The price you paid was becoming a sickly person."
So, I ruined your life.
Cheng Xingxing, hate me now.
Hate me, this vampire who lives off your life.
Cheng Xingxing froze, and subconsciously said, "How is this possible... Are you kidding me? How can there be such a thing as exchanging lives? Are you kidding me?"
She desperately needed someone to affirm her words, so she looked at Cheng's mother for help, but Cheng's mother turned her head away.
Cheng Xingxing looked at her father again, but he avoided her gaze and said in a deep voice, "We are sorry for what we did to you."
This tacit admission made Cheng Xingxing's face turn pale instantly.
She took a step forward and grabbed Cheng Yue's hand in a panic: "Sister."
Cheng Yue said coldly, "You still call me 'sister'?"
Cheng Xingxing didn't understand what she meant—compared to Cheng Yue's indifference, intelligence, independence, self-reliance, and outstanding academic performance, she seemed much dumber and always seemed silly.
Cheng's parents were always strict with Cheng Yue, but they had almost no requirements for Cheng Xingxing.
So from childhood to adulthood, Cheng Xingxing lived a very happy and simple life.
She had never even sensed any distance from Cheng Yue. She thought it was normal for Cheng Yue to be indifferent to her, since Cheng Yue was indifferent to everyone.
So when she heard Cheng Yue say that, she was confused for a second: "If I don't call you sister, what should I call you? Even if we switched lives, you were still born before me."
Cheng Yue: "..."
Is this what I'm talking about?
She lowered her eyes and looked at the two people's hands clasped together, finding it extremely jarring.
Before she could shake off Cheng Xingxing's hand, Cheng Xingxing suddenly leaned in and hugged her.
"Sister, I believe you... Although this is unbelievable, it's good that you're still alive, and I can actually help you."
Cheng Yue froze.
Cheng Xingxing awkwardly patted her back: "Don't be afraid, that happened more than ten years ago, everything is fine now."
Cheng Yue shoved her away abruptly, her voice hoarse, "Cheng Xingxing, do you know..."
Do you know how much I hate you?
Do you know what I want? I just want you to hate me and never be foolish enough to get close to me again.
Do you realize that by doing this, I appear even more despicable and shameless, like a rat in a sewer?
Cheng Yue wanted to say a lot, and wanted to speak sarcastically, but when she saw Cheng Xingxing's distressed and surprised expression, her throat felt blocked, and she couldn't utter a single word.
She closed her eyes, took a few steps back, and slammed the door shut and locked it.
The person outside didn't try to knock; everyone probably needs time to calm down.
Cheng Yue sat on the floor against the door for a while, lost in thought, before noticing that the phone on the table was still flashing.
Oh, and there are also online streamers.
Cheng Yue wiped her face, got up and walked to the table. She looked at Qin Su, who was petting a cat in the camera lens, and said, "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for so long. I've finished asking, and your calculation was correct."
【We heard you, little beauty, don't cry, it's not your fault.】
[I hope this doesn't affect your studies, little beauty. Studying is the most important thing for high school students. Once you get good grades, find a good job, and are financially independent, everything will be fine.]
Everyone was comforting the older sister... but I feel the younger sister was also a victim. Her birth and the decision to have her life swapped were made without her knowledge while she was still an infant.
My younger sister is also very kind.
[That's how cause and effect works in this world. If the older sister hadn't exchanged her life and had died young, would the younger sister, as the surviving twin, still have such a wonderful family atmosphere? Would her parents still be heartbroken over the loss of their child? If the sisters hadn't exchanged their lives, and the younger sister's health had deteriorated, winning all the love, would she have developed such a kind heart? Everything we have now is the result of choices made in the past. Who gains more and loses more?]
[If you ask me, the problem lies with these parents. They decided to exchange the twins' lives, and then subconsciously demanded that the older sister bear the guilt. Didn't you hear what the father just said? Something about being a little biased—who knows if it's a little or a whole lot more?]
But parents just want their children to live well; they don't have bad intentions.
Sigh, being born is something we're forced to do from the moment we're born. Many things are beyond our control. Little beauty, try to think more positively.
[Hugs.jpg]
Cheng Yue looked at the barrage of comments, her eyes slightly red.
"I understand, thank you everyone. I'm not thinking of doing anything drastic, I just... I don't know..."
She choked up, the tears she had been holding back when facing her family finally bursting forth as she offered comfort to strangers.
"I just don't know what I am."
Don't cry, don't cry.
[Waaaa, little beauty, don't cry. It makes my heart ache when you cry like this.]
Sometimes I wonder, what am I in this world? Am I someone's daughter, someone's friend, someone's wife, someone's mother? Is my connection to this world solely with other people? Then what am I?
Don't think about such philosophical questions. Life is just about being born and living, without really understanding what's going on.
Perhaps I'll find the answer when I'm older; the most important thing is to live life to the fullest first.
Cheng Yue's tears flowed even more fiercely.
Qin Su sighed softly: "What does it mean?"
Cheng Yue looked up at her, sobbing, waiting for her to continue.
Qin Su met her expectant gaze and said with difficulty, "I guess you're just unlucky."
Cheng Yue burst into tears.
Comments: [...]
That makes sense...
Hearing your words is like hearing a profound conversation.
Qin Su thought for a moment and added a comforting sentence: "It's really hard to be a person; you can easily run into bad luck if you're not careful."
Comment: [So my dream is to be a cat in my next life!]
Me too! Me too! I'd even be a dog!
I want to be a Ragdoll cat, cute, pretty, and lovable!
Being a cat or dog makes it easy to become a stray, so being a panda is better, they're national treasures!
[Could the streamer help me calculate whether I can be a pet in my next life who doesn't have to do anything or think about anything?]
Qin Su smiled when she saw this comment and said, "Then I'll ask the people underground next time and see what the rules are for reincarnation now."
The comments section erupted in laughter, assuming she was joking.
People joked around, asking all sorts of strange questions: "By the way, could you ask me if there's internet underground?"
Do you still need to work if you're dead?
Can you still use a mobile phone when you're a ghost?
...
Cheng Yue was initially very sad, but as she watched, she couldn't help but smile a little.
Even though I was feeling very heavy-hearted, a lot of random thoughts were flashing through my mind.
The carrot slice in her bowl on the dinner table tonight, the phone case Cheng Xingxing gave her last week, the unfinished homework and test papers, and the "little beauty" that pops up on the screen every now and then.
She even thought distractedly that the streamer didn't seem to be using a beauty filter, otherwise it would be difficult to make the eyelashes look so distinct.
A message pops up at the top of the phone screen.
The meaning of gitanjali: 【I've arrived at your building.】
The meaning of gitanjali: [Cheng Yue, please read on.]
Cheng Yue took her phone and walked to the window, where she saw Wang Linyan's familiar figure.
Wang Linyan waved to her.
The meaning of gitanjali: 【You don't need to come down, I just came to say hello.】
The meaning of gitanjali: [I'll treat you to ice cream during tomorrow's long break.]
He didn't mention a word about what had just happened; all he said and did was offer comfort.
Cheng Yue felt a pang of sadness. Just as she was about to reply to him, she heard Qin Su say in the live stream, "Alright, that's all for today's live stream. Same as always, see you in three days for the next one."
Cheng Yue quickly said, "Wait a minute, I haven't paid yet."
Qin Su: "Do you have money?"
Cheng Yue: "...Yes, but not many."
Qin Su: "Then I'll owe you for now. I'll ask you for it after you start working."
"Oh, right." She blinked at Cheng Yue, her eyelashes fluttering like two small fans, "Do you know what gitanjali means?"
What is the significance of gitanjali?
Isn't this Wang Linyan's online name?
Cheng Yue didn't know how the topic had suddenly shifted to this point, but she still honestly shook her head.
“Gitanjali is a collection of Tagore's poems, and it has many layers of meaning, but I think…” Qin Su curled her lips and teased, “what that little boy was trying to say was probably: ‘People select their favorite meanings from the poet's words. But the ultimate meaning of the poems points to you.’”
"What you are may have many answers, but for some people, you should be considered a poem."
After Qin Su finished speaking, she waved goodbye without paying attention to the stunned Cheng Yue and the gossipy comments in the live stream, and then closed the live stream.
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