April 12th, sunny.
Skin hunger syndrome, that's the diagnosis from the doctor.
When I heard the result, I wasn't surprised. What was surprising was that this mental illness only flared up when I saw her.
The doctor said I needed psychological treatment because if the illness became too severe, it could lead to many irrational behaviors. I refused because I wouldn't waste too much attention on a woman I disliked.
Yes, Xia Fengguang is a woman I hate.
April 18th, sunny.
Seven days have passed since the incident on the bridge, and six days have passed since the report of mental illness was received.
When I woke up today, the bed was still wet, and my dream remained unchanged—that not-so-pleasant dream…but a strange dream that I was captivated by.
I cracked the password to Guo Ming's cloud drive and watched all the inappropriate videos for children in the "study materials" folder. The men's rough actions and the women's deliberate moans all made me feel extremely bored.
I don't understand. Xia Fengguang is also a woman, and her physical structure is no different from these women. Why do I have inexplicable sexual fantasies about her, even if it's just in my dreams? It excites me immensely.
All of this must be due to skin hunger.
...
April 22nd, cloudy.
I fell in love with this dream.
In my dream, her skin was so white and tender, and her cries were so beautiful.
I have no reason to refuse this comforting dream.
April 23rd, cloudy.
I made her cry.
I didn't mean to.
Why would she be so kind as to help that man?
I'm jealous.
Extremely jealous.
But I regretted it, because she cried.
She is not a bad woman.
She is the most unspeakable secret hidden in my heart.
April 24th, cloudy.
I changed all the web pages, so that everyone who clicks on the web page will see that she did not do those things and that she was wronged.
I was among those who wronged her.
Will she be happy?
She wants the Azure Flower, she wants the Silver Squirrel, I can give her either.
Guo Ming said that girls like heart-shaped things, so I arranged all these things into a heart shape.
Will she like it?
April 25th, sunny.
She didn't log into the game.
April 26th, sunny.
She didn't log into the game.
...
April 30th, rain.
Today, I couldn't resist spying on her.
I controlled her computer's webcam, which was pointing directly at her bed.
She was wearing a nightgown, lying on the bed reading a book. Suddenly, she rolled over, propping her head up with her hand and lying on her side. Because of the position, a small cleavage was faintly visible under her white nightgown. I wanted to touch it because I missed the feeling of her pressing down on me that day.
Her thighs were also exposed; they were very white, like jade. I could see a pink corner under her skirt.
This is her favorite color.
I couldn't hold back, imagining her crying like in my dreams, and I released myself in my own hands.
May 1st, sunny.
Today she is wearing a yellow dress. She likes to wear dresses because she looks beautiful in them, both elegant and playful, and very cute.
I want to take off her dress.
May 2nd, sunny.
She went to bed a minute earlier than usual today.
Is she in a bad mood?
Is she feeling unwell?
I want her to sleep in my arms.
...
May 13th, sunny.
I went to a class I never used to attend, because she was there today and I wanted to save her a seat.
She smelled wonderful, even more intoxicating than I had imagined.
There were too many people here, so I resisted the urge to hug her.
She wrote my name, and it took her several tries to get it right, but I really liked how she wrote it, so I locked the paper in the safe.
Because of Zhou Lie, I finally had a legitimate reason to be with her.
She told Shen Wuyan that I was her boyfriend, and I was very happy.
I will be her future husband.
May 14th, sunny.
I can't let her know that I am Ren Woxing; I must keep this a secret.
I know she doesn't eat breakfast every day, which is bad for her health, so I'll make her breakfast.
The thirty-seventh egg roll and the twenty-eighth vegetable steamed bun were finally made to perfection, and she liked them very much.
I decided to make her breakfast every day.
She was very good at pretending to be strong. When I heard what she said to Zhao Xiaolu, I couldn't help but take her home. I wanted her to rely on me more, so that I would feel that I was very important to her.
I kissed her, and she enjoyed it, but she refused any further advances. I respected her decision, but I resolved the situation by holding her hand.
Unlike doing it yourself, releasing your pent-up emotions under her care is incredibly pleasurable.
May 15th, sunny.
She found out anyway.
I found out the secret I wanted to keep from her.
She doesn't believe me.
Suddenly I couldn't hear my own heartbeat.
Am I already dead?
May 16th, cloudy.
I am not dead yet.
...
May 20th, sunny.
Today I made two more cuts on my hand with a knife, and the blood was a beautiful color.
But I still miss her.
I want to see her, I want to touch her.
May 26th, sunny.
The injury healed quickly.
I think wounds are far from enough.
I want to imprison her.
May 28th, sunny.
She's going abroad; she's leaving me.
Can't……
I won't let her leave me!
May 29th, sunny.
She came back after all.
She's back with me.
She's willing to start over with me.
I'm alive again.
...
June 17th, sunny.
Guo Ming found a job and moved into the company-assigned dormitory. We gave up our rented apartment and bought a room in an apartment building near the university. Feng Guang finally agreed to live with me.
We got married in the game today, and Dao Youxin came to witness the ceremony. He has now changed his name to Dao Wuxin, and I heard that he often blocks the living points of that woman named Meng Guoer.
Feng Guang was very interested in him, but after I told her that Dao Wuxin was actually Zhou Lie, she lost all interest in him. She hated Zhou Lie, which made me very happy.
Even Shen Wuyan didn't know that Dao Youxin was actually his cousin.
I've said before that I can know the identity of anyone if I want to.
Feng Guang said I was very capable.
Tonight I'll show her in bed what's truly amazing.
Feng Guang from the kitchen called out, "Ou Xun! Let's make dinner!"
“Okay.” Ou Xun replied. He put down his pen, stood up, and closed the diary. He was originally going to put it in the safe, but he suddenly changed his mind.
He pushed open the cabinet, behind which was another dark space. The reason he bought this room was because he liked this hidden compartment. It was said that the original design was to allow the owner to hide and take refuge in case of danger.
In a fairly large space, an iron cage was filled with pink dolls. If you could ignore the fact that these dolls were piled up in a cage, you would probably think that they were just simple toys prepared for little girls.
Ou Xun threw the diary into the cage, turned around and went out, restoring everything to its original state. When Feng Guang called his name for the second time, he had already hugged her from behind.
There are some things he will never let her know, as long as she stays by his side forever.
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