Waiting for someone you like to grow up is not an easy thing. Just like now, he can see her and touch her, but he can't touch her.
Fengguang is still too young. Even if he is very careful, he will still hurt her. It's just a matter of waiting a few years. Compared to the so-called physical pleasure, he prefers the feeling of carefully cherishing her.
He had said before that she was born to evoke pity.
Xie Zhan suddenly sighed again.
Feng Guang also heard Xie Jie calling her name outside. She tightened her grip on him, pressed herself closer to him, buried her head in his neck, and said pitifully, "I don't want you to leave."
"I don't want to leave either." Xie Zhan kissed the top of her head, tightened his grip on her back, and deeply inhaled the scent of her body that he cherished.
But they all knew he had to leave.
Her voice trembled with tears, "Take me with you... I promise I'll be good, okay?"
“Life in the military camp is tough. Even though I know Fengguang can endure it for me, I can’t bear to let you live like that.” He lowered his head, his chin resting on the top of her head, and gently patted her back. “Fengguang, we are only separated temporarily.”
"Three years!" she said, biting her lip. "Three years is such a long time, and the battlefield is so dangerous..."
"Haven't I made it through all these years?"
"What if... what if you get wounded on the battlefield and a woman suddenly saves you, and you fall in love with her and don't want me anymore?"
Xie Zhan chuckled, "What's going on in your little brain all day?"
"That's how it is! That's how it's always portrayed in plays!" She recalled the TV dramas she watched when she was young. Which of the heroes wasn't injured and rescued by a beautiful woman, and then unable to resist her charms?
Xie Zhan knew she was uneasy. Three years was a long time. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "That day will never come. If it does, even if I'm on my last breath, I'll kill the beauty who tries to get close to me so Feng Guang won't suspect anything. Is that alright?"
She took his words as just to reassure him, never considering that he might genuinely mean and do the same. But hearing his promise, she feared the possibility of something going wrong. "No, if you're really hurt, then... then let her save you... Even if you don't like me anymore, I'll be happy to be alive."
"Feng Guang, I promise you." Xie Zhan held her hand and placed it on his heart, letting her feel the beating heart inside his chest. He said, "This is all yours. Feng Guang's name is engraved here. No one can take it away from you."
Xie Jie's calls from outside were growing louder and louder; they didn't have much time left.
"Fengguang, I have to go." He said softly, but reluctantly took his gaze away from her sad face.
Feng Guang knew she shouldn't be unreasonable. She got off him, then grabbed his sleeve and asked, "It can be every month... or every two months, if you're too busy... or any time in between is fine. Can you write to me?"
Her careful demeanor made him even more reluctant to part with her. Xie Zhan couldn't bring himself to leave so cruelly. He put an arm around her waist, half-lifted her up, and covered her beautiful lips with a white handkerchief. Then, through the handkerchief, he kissed her.
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