"Kill this stinky beggar! He's so dirty!"
"You ugly freak! You're so ugly and you still come out to scare people! Beat him to death! He's a monster!"
"Come on, fight the dog for food, or you won't have any food!"
As far as I can remember, I was a beggar begging on the street, and everyone beat me up.
In my previous life, I witnessed Yu Chenming attacking Sheng Wu and then killing her together with Zhao Wuji. In order to suppress the evil spirit in my body, I absorbed the resentment from Sheng Wu's corpse.
When I woke up again, I was reborn.
This time, Shengwu actually chose an ugly person like me as his apprentice. I don’t understand, but I know that this is my best chance.
If I replaced Yu Chenming and became the person she chose to kill her husband to prove her truth, would she give me all the resources, let me grow quickly, and then I would kill her!
The disciples of Piaomiao Mountain are all very stupid. They can mess up simple things. I am obviously more mature than them, but they keep calling me "Junior Brother". My presence is obviously low enough, but they still insist on calling me on everything.
But they didn't let me participate, and just let me and that idiot Hua Lingjiu watch them fighting the monsters from behind.
Since I was despised by everyone in my previous life, it has become difficult for me to be soft-hearted and trust others. I have always been looking at Luo Qi, Yu Chenming and others as a bystander, with all kinds of interest calculations in my mind, wanting to get the maximum resources through these people.
I sneered at myself and said that I would never smile like these young people in my life. How stupid.
Until the time at the Baby Girl Tower, I saw Hua Lingjiu actually panicking and crying because I was injured, and Luo Qi and the others were almost vomiting blood but still let me stay, not wanting me to take risks.
I admit that my heart was beating fast at that moment.
I thought that no one cared about me anyway, so it would be okay for me to die in exchange for the kindness they had shown me over the past six months.
But later, I found that I was used to everyone's care, and I cared about their feelings, and I had become... attached to this friendship.
At first, I deliberately approached Sheng Wu, hoping that she would notice me. She did notice me, but in return I was humiliated by her whipping me a few times. I changed my name to "Wu Yan" and got a book from her that was suitable for evil practitioners.
This made me realize that my idea was right. As long as Shengwu valued me and was willing to invest resources in me, I would be able to develop better and would no longer be looked down upon or humiliated.
So after knowing that she actually helped two outsiders, Yu Chenming and Hua Lingjiu, in such a way, one to get rid of the so-called system, and the other to untie her emotional knot, I felt extremely unbalanced and jealous, and wanted her to share some of her preference for Yu Chenming and Hua Lingjiu with me, just a little bit.
Obviously I'm not bad, I can do it, it's just that I'm unlucky.
But she didn't care about me, she only had eyes for Yu Chenming and Hua Lingjiu.
But I still relied on humble pleading to get the five-year opportunity she mentioned. As long as I met her requirements within five years, she would reluctantly train me personally.
For this reason, I practiced at all costs, even leaving Luo Qihua, Lingjiu and the others to kill people and absorb their energy alone, and only then did I barely meet Shengwu's requirements.
But all my hardships and achievements were not worth mentioning in her eyes. She compared me with Yu Chenming and said that I could never compare to him. I felt resentful and unwilling to be compared to him.
So I want to prove myself again, no matter what the cost.
The result was as I wished. She did train me personally. Although her methods were vicious and radical, which put me at great risk of going astray, I finally caught her attention.
I believe that I understand Master best, no one else can compare.
Only I know how evil she truly is. I originally thought that she regarded me as a substitute for Yu Chenming and had different feelings for him.
Later I accidentally guessed that she seemed to never care about anyone.
But this idea seems absurd to me, as she is clearly so partial to Yu Chenming and Hua Lingjiu.
Because, later in a conversation with Luo Qi, I learned that he also had that nightmare, but his was different from mine. I became suspicious, so I tried to use hypnosis to find out the situation of other people one by one.
The results were pretty much the same, but it still left me feeling horrified.
The only person who can create dreams so accurately and connect everything is her, Sheng Wu!
I didn't understand what she was going to do at first, until I realized that she had killed her husband to prove her truth in her previous life. In this life, she clearly knew some things about her previous life, but why did she still accept Yu Chenming as her disciple? Why did she accept eleven disciples at once, which was against her temperament?
I have a weird guess in my mind, but I don't dare to gamble.
I just want everyone to be safe and sound.
So after I understood my feelings for Master, I broke through my timidity and cowardice and expressed my feelings to her: if someone wants to kill her husband to prove the truth, why can't it be me!
In this way, he can really stand beside his master and also... protect Luo Qi and the others.
If the master really chooses to kill her husband to prove her truth, then Luo Qi and the others will be safe.
For ten years, I have always felt that my master treated me as a substitute for Yu Chenming. He was unwilling to see him betray and join Zhao Wuji's sect, so he was extremely harsh on me.
Originally, after having physical contact with my master, I almost thought that my master really liked me and had no feelings for Yu Chenming. My "Huai Jin" really meant "holding Yu in my arms, and having no idea what to show her", which reflected her expectations and joy for me.
Until the night before the wedding, I saw the painting in her study.
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