I don't like men, it's just that the person I like happens to be the same gender as me.
I met you two years ago. You worked in architectural design, while I was just a white-collar worker. You could say it was love at first sight.
When we first met, I was the one asking you for your contact information. I'm so glad and grateful that you didn't reject me, which made my first step less awkward.
I can only stare at your WeChat profile picture in silence. I don't dare to click to chat with you because I know we're not that familiar with each other yet.
I don't know what you were thinking back then, but we just ended up together out of nowhere. After that, I wished the month would end quickly every day, because I wanted us to be together, and also because I missed your embrace.
I think this is a special relationship between us. I try very hard to understand each other better and hope that we will never be separated.
We've broken up and had our share of arguments, but we always manage to make up in the end. We live in a long-distance relationship and don't see each other often.
To put it bluntly, you're reluctant to give up your job, and I'm reluctant to give up mine to live in each other's cities. Yes, a satisfactory job isn't easy to find these days. Men like us, with responsibilities on our shoulders, are long past the age of loving without a care in the world. I don't blame you, and you don't blame me.
Long-distance relationship is fine, as long as we're together.
To be honest, I've gotten used to a lot over the past two years. Sleeping together on video, listening to your steady breathing as you drift off to sleep, and hearing you say good morning to me, I feel like the happiest person in the world.
I have a personality that's a bit like a girl's. I get jealous, and I long for... I long for you to be the first thing I see when I wake up every morning.
Homosexuality is really hard for people to accept, including my family and most of my friends. We see each other once a month, but we don't dare to hold hands when we go out. Actually, I really want to hold your hand, but the world's perspective won't allow me to do so.
I feel wronged, truly nothing but feeling wronged.
Actually, I don't ask for much: to go to and from get off work together, to cook together, to hold hands when we go out, to travel together...
However, the world's perspective does not allow me to have these things; they are all just wishful thinking.
I'm not wrong to love a man. The problem is that society lets heterosexuals decide the fate of homosexuals. It's unfair, really unfair!
It's been a week, hasn't it? There's a typhoon here, how about where you are?
Do you remember me?
Born in a coastal city, living in a country full of strange looks, I'm doing alright.
I drove around outside alone for a long time tonight, with nowhere to go, really nowhere to go!
Where can I go? Nowhere can accommodate someone like me!
I've never felt this devastated even when my grandmother passed away, but you've made me feel utterly heartbroken.
When this slow-paced city slows down even further, when the biting cold wind blows against the window and the people outside toss and turn silently; when the typhoon passes and the neon lights dim, will you miss me?
Actually, I quite like snow, even though I'm afraid of the cold it brings. Just like I like you, even though I know we can't be together.
Old sweet nothings become new sweet nothings when spoken to another person.
My heart is racing, I'm panicking, because it's my fault, isn't it?
Do you still remember the person who accompanied you to see the snow last year? He is still waiting for your return.
But none of that matters anymore. What matters is that we can't go back.
Fear, so much fear.
The path of going against the grain is difficult yet sweet; may you go far and be happy.
Perhaps I feel that you and I are burdened by worldly views, perhaps I feel that youthful days are always filled with beautiful dreams, however, I gave you my best years, without any dreams.
Perhaps, if society didn't ridicule and ostracize people like us, we would have stayed together for a very long time.
Now, perhaps the most frequent word is "perhaps".
Although it is difficult to find the solitary scene of Liu Zongyuan's "millions of lonely souls," Liu Zongyuan's acrostic poems have captured the feelings of countless people.
Many people say one thing but mean another, harboring an inescapable sense of inferiority deep down.
I'm starting to hate life without you. I never thought I liked you that much before, but now, why do I feel so empty inside? Thinking back to how we first met, I understand for the first time the saying, "Same-sex love is true love."
If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be sure I've gone further and further down this path.
I don't know why you, who are domineering, love to bully me, and are liked by so many people, are so important to me.
In the future, we may make different choices and lead different lives.
In the future, you may get married, have children, and find someone who loves you.
And me?
Nothing will be left.
Why does the phenomenon of breaking up exist in the world? Why?
My friends never understand my feelings for you. They never know, and I don't know either, what you mean to me.
Last night, when I saw your post on WeChat Moments, tears welled up in my eyes. I don't know why I'm crying. What right do I, a man, have to cry?
Later, while crying, I started to laugh. It was so good. From now on, no one could bother me, complain that I was "slutty," or that my voice or singing was bad.
I think I will never meet another person like you in my life.
How wonderful it would be if we could both find our final destination in the future?
He said he would do it, but he couldn't keep it.
I thank you. All this time, your love and care have supported me and made me unafraid of the future.
You once said: Loyalty, Obligation, Valued, Forgiveness—if you put the first letters of these words together, that is love.
I think I did it, how about you?
Perhaps it's because I haven't experienced enough that I want everything.
But I don't ask for much, just you. If I had a choice, I would shed my male body, so we could be together for a long time, right?
They say the mistake between us is that we're both men, but I don't think we're wrong; the mistake is society.
It is this society that has driven us to a dead end.
If I could, in my next life I would be a woman, and you would still be a man, so we could fall in love again.
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