I am Anning.
I knew from a young age that my parents didn't like me. My mother would always sit by the window, looking in one direction and crying alone. I was too young to understand then.
My mother would occasionally look at me with disgust and cruelty, and sometimes she would hold me and cry bitterly.
She didn't care about me; she just told me that the only way out was through studying, and that I must study hard to escape this cage.
I nodded, half-understanding, and secretly vowed to study hard.
My father was an alcoholic, and when he was drunk he would beat my mother and me. This continued until I was in the third year of junior high school.
My younger brother was born around this time. He took away the only love my mother had for me, and I hated him—no, I hated him very much.
I increasingly want to escape this home; it suffocates me.
It wasn't until I got older that I realized how abnormal my home was.
As my younger brother grew up, my mother smiled more often, but she rarely smiled at me.
After my relentless efforts, I finally received an acceptance letter from the most prestigious university, and I excitedly shared it with my parents.
But then, as if pouring cold water on her, her father yelled, "It's useless for girls to study so much. They should just get married early."
I looked at my mother; her eyes were darting away, and she just held my younger brother without saying a word.
That's when I realized that my mother had never loved me; I was just a product of her disgust.
In the end, the village committee stepped in and said that this was a rare opportunity, and if I went to school, I would be the first college student in the village, and a prestigious one at that.
My father, for the sake of his reputation, still made me go.
I remember that it was a hot day. I embarked on my journey with anticipation, and when I finally stood at the university gate, I was so excited that I couldn't speak.
I know I have no advantages, so I can only study hard. I don't care what other people think. I'm walking my own path, so there's no need to care about others.
Just when my heart was full of hope, I met him, Lu Ze.
I became completely infatuated with him the moment I saw him. I gave him all the money from my scholarship and part-time jobs, hoping he would see me.
Later, I happily added him in the contact information, and he showed concern for me every day.
He was the first person to care about me so much, and I naturally fell into this poisoned lie.
When he suggested meeting, I hesitated, but I still took out the last of my money and bought a beautiful new dress.
I stood nervously at the door of the private room, but I still stepped inside. He was the only one there, just as handsome and refined as he was during the live stream.
He smiled and showed concern for me, gently telling me many interesting stories, which relaxed my tense mood.
The nightmare began with the glass of water he handed me, laced with a sedative, which I drank without suspicion.
Before I closed my eyes, I saw his smile grow wider and wider. Even in my deep sleep, I was aware of the strange things happening to me.
A few hours later, I woke up and saw my disheveled state, realizing what had happened.
Why did this happen to me?
He sat down next to me, smoking and reminiscing, "You tasted pretty good. Here's 20,000 yuan. You know what to do."
I screamed and questioned him, calling him a beast and saying he was throwing his money around everywhere.
His usual gentleness vanished, replaced by a disdainful gaze upon me.
"You're nothing but a wild child without a father or mother's love. If you know what's good for you, take the money and leave now, or some of your photos might..."
Before he finished speaking, I knew what he meant; he was threatening me.
I poured out my grievances to him back then, but now they all sting me like poison needles. I can only squat down in humiliation and pick up the scattered banknotes one by one.
At that moment, only one thought came to mind: Would I be free from this pain if I died?
But I still have many dreams to realize, and my life cannot stop here.
After returning home, I became depressed and berated myself for being blind to people's true character.
I didn't realize that my secret had been discovered until more and more people were looking at me with disdain.
A big fan of Lu Ze exposed the truth, saying that I was shameless and drugged Lu Ze to seduce him.
If I could accept what happened before, now is just the beginning of a nightmare.
Life became increasingly unsatisfactory, and my will to survive weakened accordingly.
Just then, a girl named Shen Muqing from my dorm suddenly ran over to me and said she wanted to help me and that she trusted me.
I am utterly disillusioned with people. I coldly observe her and reject her. I will no longer give anyone another chance to hurt me.
She seemed to have a lot of perseverance, and it wasn't just talk; even another girl in the dorm gradually started to care about me.
But I don't need it, just let me rot in the soil.
Perhaps because I was so firm in my refusal, they gradually stopped talking to me. Maybe someone like me is destined to be alone. What was I praying for back then?
Summer vacation came quickly, and I returned home and worked numbly, not daring to stop from morning till night.
What brought my suicidal thoughts to a head was when my father sold me to a mentally challenged man in the next village to be his wife. To prevent me from escaping, he tied a rope around my neck and locked me in a dark room.
He was also afraid that I would have too much energy on our wedding day, so he stopped feeding me for several days beforehand.
Sitting in that dimly lit room, the thought of suicide was particularly strong. I decided to end my absurd and painful life by banging my head against the wall.
But then she appeared—my roommate, Shen Muqing.
She encouraged me, saying that she came into this world for me, and only for me.
There were so many things she said, but all I remember are the gleaming eyes in the dark room, which had a certain magic that convinced me.
I want to give myself one last chance; I choose to believe her.
This time I won the gamble. I escaped that cannibalistic home and successfully cleared my name.
The biggest contributors were Shen Muqing and Ye Chuqing; they gave me the hope to live.
Perhaps because it was not easy for a freshman to come here, I valued this opportunity very much and worked harder than before. I found my life goal.
Becoming a lawyer helps more people get out of their predicament.
Many years later, I still remember that night vividly. I want to tell all girls that no matter how bad things get, never give up on life.
When things seem hopeless, a solution will always be found.
I hope everyone can love themselves before loving others, never give up on themselves no matter what, and tirelessly save themselves from dire straits a thousand times over.
I will embrace my new life with hope.
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