Staring blankly at Ji Muqing, who was lying on the bed waving her arms as if still trapped in a nightmare, trying to break free but unable to do so, and listening to her cries, Helan Ruo, whose rationality had already snapped and whose spirit had completely collapsed, desperately wanted to shake the person in front of her awake immediately.
He wanted to ask her what Helan Ruo had done to wrong her, and why she was deceiving herself like this. From entering the palace to leaving, and then to losing her memory, was there a single word she uttered that was true?
Does she even know what he lost because of her deception?
Thinking this to herself, He Lanruo desperately wanted to pull Ji Muqing off the bed and question her again and again about her answer.
But he didn't raise his hands. He just slowly raised his hands and covered his face with force, but he still couldn't stop the low, sickly laughter from his throat.
One sound after another.
They are all filled with the most extreme sorrow and pain.
question……
What right does he have to question others?
Wasn't all of this caused by his own hands?
It was he who, even though he had already married Tang Ning, still couldn't let go of her the moment he received Ji Muqing's blood-written letter. So, he chose to smuggle her out of the palace, behind Tang Ning's back and behind everyone else's back, risking all consequences.
It was also him who, after learning that Ji Muqing had lost her memory, not only did not distance himself from her, but also repeatedly became entangled with her.
He had clearly realized that Tang Ning had feelings for him and wanted to live a good life with him. After being hurt by Wei Jing and not receiving the care a daughter should receive in the General's Mansion, she still retained her passion for love, her love for life, and her expectations for him.
But what did he give her in return? He gave her indecisiveness, hurtful words, neglect, and deception.
God knows where he placed Tang Ning while he was single-mindedly considering Ji Muqing's needs.
She'd already been hurt once; it took so much courage for her to fall for him again...
In the end, he was forced to enter the palace, that cannibalistic place, because of him. How long can the love of an emperor last? He could have stopped it. He had already noticed that something was wrong with Tang Ning when he was in prison. Why couldn't he have thought about it more?
He's the one who ruined Tang Ning.
What right does he have to shift the blame to others? From beginning to end, who else should he blame besides himself?
there is none left.
Even if Ji Muqing deliberately deceived him, so what? Whether she lied or not, he kept making choices that repeatedly cut deep wounds into Tang Ning's already healed ones.
Ji Muqing's confession only made him see his own disgusting and despicable nature more clearly.
Upon realizing this, Helan Ruo staggered back several steps, even knocking over a series of decorations and beaded curtains. The sounds of porcelain vases shattering on the ground and crystal beads breaking and bouncing on the floor continued incessantly.
It was at this moment that Helan Ruo finally lowered her hand. Her lifeless eyes looked around the chaotic room blankly before she suddenly felt a suffocating sensation wash over her. She subconsciously took two steps back, and soon, she stumbled and ran out of the room.
Unfortunately, this suffocating feeling did not ease at all even after he ran out of the room; it clung to him like a maggot clinging to his bone.
Wandering around like a headless fly, Helan Ruo suddenly felt a sense of vastness and nowhere to belong.
The feeling of suffocation became increasingly pronounced, to the point that Helan Ruo's breathing became more and more rapid. Even when he opened his mouth to breathe, there was still no sign of relief.
This continued for an unknown amount of time until he saw a house not far away, surrounded by lush green bamboo. He then grabbed at it like a drowning man grasping at a straw and ran frantically towards it.
With a bang.
Helan Ruo pushed open the door of the house and looked at the wooden dolls arranged neatly by color after Tang Ning's tidying up. She saw how the dolls, which originally had rough makeup, gradually became more delicate and vivid after Tang Ning's skillful touch. She also saw the white cloak that Tang Ning had embroidered for her sometime earlier, hanging on a clothes rack to the side...
As she watched, Helan Ruo's already dry eyes began to sting again.
It turns out that in just over a month, Tang Ning has already left him with so many memories.
Just then, his gaze was suddenly drawn to two dolls in the corner, each with exquisite makeup.
He rushed over and flipped the two chubby babies over. At just one glance, Helan Ruo's tears immediately rolled down her cheeks.
These two dolls were the ones he had promised Tang Ning earlier, the dolls he would dress up as on their wedding day.
He said it himself, so let's start from our wedding and make a pair of dolls together every year as a memento, preferably until we're old and gray, with failing eyesight, and he can't even hold a carving knife anymore.
Tang Ning agreed.
But he remembered very clearly that these two dolls did not exist before he went to prison. In other words, during the days when he was gritting his teeth and enduring in prison for Ji Muqing, and during the days when there were many rumors outside, Tang Ning was still fulfilling their promise and carefully carving facial features and applying makeup to these two dolls that did not even have bodies.
He couldn't even imagine what Tang Ning was thinking when she was putting makeup on those two dolls!
A deep, overwhelming feeling of heartache washed over me.
With trembling hands, Helan Ruo slowly picked up the carving knife that he had placed aside, held his breath, and began to carve the bodies of the two dolls. However, as soon as he made the first cut, the knife suddenly slid into his fingers, and bright red blood immediately oozed out.
But Helan Ruo seemed oblivious to everything, adjusted her breathing, and resumed carving.
Before long, his hands were covered with wounds because of his trembling.
On one side, Helan Ruo silently made a puppet, while on the other side, Princess Qingping rushed over immediately after receiving an anxious report from the maid who had delivered medicine to Ji Muqing's room.
Unfortunately, when she arrived, Helan Ruo had already disappeared, and the room where Ji Muqing was staying was already a mess.
Confused as to why Helan Ruo would leave the place in such a state, Princess Qingping immediately sent people to search for Helan Ruo, who had already left. Finally, she learned that Helan Ruo had locked himself in the room he had previously used to store the wooden puppets. Because she was worried, Princess Qingping rushed over.
No matter how much she knocked on the door, there was no response from inside.
Fearing that Helan Ruo might do something foolish inside, Princess Qingping disregarded everything else and immediately sent people to break down the door of the house.
As soon as she bumped into him, she saw Helan Ruo sitting sideways to her, calmly carving a wooden puppet in her hand.
Princess Qingping breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing that Helan Ruo was unharmed. She spoke as she slowly approached Helan Ruo, "A'Ruo, what are you doing here..."
Before she could finish her sentence, her attention was immediately drawn to Helan Ruo's blood-soaked hands.
"Aruo!"
She exclaimed in surprise and stepped forward, trying to snatch the carving knife from Helan Ruo's hand.
She simply couldn't bear to see Aruo tormenting herself like this.
But just as she reached out her hand, Helan Ruo suddenly stopped, then slowly turned her head to look at her.
Looking into Helan Ruo's eyes, which seemed like a flickering candle that could be extinguished at any moment, Princess Qingping's hand froze in mid-air, unable to move forward any further.
"mother……"
She heard Helan Ruo's voice sound like it had been sprinkled with cigarette ash, hoarse and unbearable.
"Just let me do it. I don't have time anymore, I really don't have time. I have to finish these two dolls as soon as possible. My hands are fine, they don't hurt. I just made these cuts because I was a little rusty before. It's nothing."
Perhaps to comfort Princess Qingping, Helan Ruo slightly raised the corners of her mouth, revealing a smile that was even more unsightly than a grimace.
Seeing him looking as if all his energy had been taken away, with only Tang Ning clinging to him, Princess Qingping couldn't help but cover her mouth tightly, swallowing back all the sobs that were escaping her throat.
What kind of sins have we committed?!
They were such a good family, such a good family!
Princess Qingping, who could no longer bear to see Helan Ruo in this state, turned and walked away.
Helan Ruo worked on it for two whole days and nights, including sewing the clothes on the dolls stitch by stitch. During that time, if Princess Qingping hadn't forced him to eat something and take two naps, Helan Ruo, who had just come out of prison and had suffered repeated blows, probably would have collapsed long ago.
Even after he ate and slept, Helan Ruo's condition didn't improve much.
The dashing and debonair young master Helan, once dressed in flowing white robes, would probably not be recognized by the young ladies who secretly admired him in the past.
As soon as the two dolls were finished, Helan Ruo immediately left the Duke's mansion and headed straight for the palace.
With Tang Ning, a human sleeping pill that only works on him, Situ Yin, who had been sleeping soundly for several days in a row after many years, suddenly felt inexplicably upset when he saw He Lan Ruo kneeling in front of him.
Even the violent anger that had arisen from a splitting headache in the past was spreading through his heart again.
His knuckles tapped repeatedly on the armrest of the chair he was sitting on.
"You want to see Tang Ning?"
"Do you even know that she is now a concubine in my harem? Although you are my nephew, you are still a man outside the palace. How can you expect to see Tang Ning whenever you want?"
Situ Yin said this slowly and deliberately, then stood up because he felt that arguing with Helan Ruo here was pointless, and he might as well go back and hug Tang Ning.
"What if I were to die here right now?"
He Lanruo's voice rang out again without hesitation.
"According to what you said, Tang Ning was willing to enter the palace and come to your side because of me, but what if I were willing to pay for the crimes I committed with my life!"
He Lanruo clenched her fists tightly, her eyes fixed on Situ Yin's back, who had already stopped.
"Tang Ning is a person, a living, breathing person, not an object. I am a man, and more importantly, she was once married to me. I should bear the consequences of my crimes, not force her to accept your coercion and become a concubine for my sake. Although I don't understand, with so many beautiful women in the world, why did you only set your sights on Tang Ning, even going so far as to set up numerous traps to scheme against her..."
"After all, the entire palace belongs to you, and your guards are everywhere. Whether it was Ji Muqing's letter written in blood or my subsequent removal of her from the harem, I don't believe you were completely unaware of it from beginning to end, especially since you had already taken notice of Tang Ning!"
Yes, I noticed Tang Ning.
During the two days and two nights he spent making the doll, his mind never stopped reminiscing. Finally, he remembered the strange thing about Tang Ning's first meeting with Situ Yin, and even the fact that the other party later appeared at the Duke's mansion, wanted to see some scenery, and made excuses to send him away. It was all the same, that he had ulterior motives.
Unfortunately, he was far too slow-witted back then.
If we had noticed it sooner, perhaps...
Thinking of this, Helan Ruo clenched her fists even tighter, so much so that she broke open the wounds on her hands that had just healed, and blood immediately dripped slowly down her palms.
"All I know is that Tang Ning is like a decoration by your side and is not happy. If I could, I would do anything, even die, rather than let Tang Ning stay by the side of someone she doesn't like."
He Lanruo said firmly.
After listening to Helan Ruo's words, Situ Yin closed his eyes slightly.
He is very unhappy and upset right now.
Slowly turning around, the man in black standing on the steps looked down at the defiant man below with a deep gaze, a flash of bloodlust in his eyes.
Just as he was about to give the order, he seemed to remember something, sat down in the chair again, and sneered.
"Do you want to see Tang Ning that much? Or do you have some trump card that can make Tang Ning change her mind, leave me, and return to your side? Hmm?"
Situ Yin raised his hand and rested his head on the back of his hand, smiling leisurely as he said this.
As soon as he finished speaking, he saw Helan Ruo's fingers tremble slightly.
Seeing this, Situ Yin raised an eyebrow.
No one knows what he was thinking, but he suddenly agreed to Helan Ruo's request, "Want to see Tang Ning? Sure."
Before the astonishment and joy in Helan Ruo's eyes could fully rise, he looked at the emperor in black robes before him, one hand still supporting his head, the other hand casually waving.
Immediately, black-clad guards appeared out of nowhere, leading several wild beasts that resembled dogs or wolves. The beasts ran along the road, their movements somewhat unsteady.
"I've heard that you've been to the arena in the northern part of the capital, haven't you? You should be quite familiar with the rules there; everything has a price. These few crippled wolves were recently sent to me by the border garrison commander for my amusement. Because they are untamed, they've been starving for seven days. I've also heard that you've been feeling weak lately, and since you're evenly matched, I can now make a bet with you. If you can survive these beasts, I'll let you see Tang Ning, how about that?"
It wasn't that he was being threatened by Helan Ruo or anything, but he suddenly wanted to know who Tang Ning would choose!
He wanted to see if her repeated assertion that a person without integrity cannot stand was truly true!
If Tang Ning were here, she would definitely be able to see that all the random thoughts Situ Yin had on his mind were, in essence, just jealousy.
Even the jealousy of an emperor is filled with cruelty and bloodshed.
Upon hearing Situ Yin's words, Helan Ruo turned to look at the few vicious wolves beside her whose eyes were glowing green and whose mouths were drooling. After staring at them for an unknown amount of time, she carefully took out something tightly wrapped in silk from her bosom and placed it at her feet.
"good."
Helan Ruo agreed.
Eleven days in prison, plus all the torture that followed, meant that even though Helan Ruo was skilled in martial arts, her fight against these wolves that had been starving for so many days was nothing more than a Pyrrhic victory.
Finally, Helan Ruo slowly rose from the pool of blood. Not only was blood constantly flowing from one of her eyes, but her right arm also looked broken, hanging limply. Her body was covered with countless wounds.
Seeing Helan Ruo like this, Situ Yin's mood worsened even further.
But he was the emperor; others could go back on their word, but he couldn't.
So, Tang Ning finally appeared before the two of them, led by the little eunuch.
When Tang Ning arrived at the square, her eyes widened in disbelief almost instantly upon seeing He Lanruo covered in blood.
Before she could even take a second look, Situ Yin, who had been sitting in the chair, immediately appeared in front of her, completely blocking her view.
After covering her up, he suddenly reached out and tugged at Tang Ning's cloak, tightening the straps so hard that he almost strangled her on the spot.
Just as Situ Yin was childishly causing trouble for Tang Ning and preventing her from seeing Helan Ruo below.
"Tang Ning..."
He Lanruo's extremely weak voice rang out at just the right moment.
Upon hearing the voice, Tang Ning frowned slightly, but did not ask Situ Yin to move aside.
In the end, he took the initiative to step aside, allowing Helan Ruo to pick up the cloth bag he had previously placed aside. He then walked unsteadily to a spot only a few steps away from Tang Ning. Because of the pain, every movement Helan Ruo made required almost all of his strength.
But he still peeled open the cloth bag in front of Tang Ning, revealing two wooden dolls dressed in red wedding gowns inside.
Looking at the doll, Helan Ruo mustered all her strength to force a smile and handed the doll to Tang Ning.
"Here you go, as promised..."
Upon seeing the doll, Tang Ning strained to open her already sore eyes.
"What are you doing...?"
"We made a promise..."
Hearing this, Tang Ning pursed her lips, then gave He Lanruo a gentle smile, "No need, you should leave this doll to someone more suitable. I already..."
"I was wrong before, I made a mistake. Are you really happy staying in the palace? If you could choose now, would you..."
Helan Ruo suddenly looked at Tang Ning expectantly, while Situ Yin, standing to the side, was already starting to lose control of his gloomy mood.
"choose?"
Tang Ning repeated it over and over.
"Yes, a choice. You shouldn't..."
Before Situ Yin could finish speaking, Tang Ning suddenly chuckled softly, "Actually, I've already made my choice, or rather, you've already made your choice, haven't you? In the prison, I asked you myself whether you wanted to live with me or die with Ji Muqing. Didn't you already make the choice? And then you made the choice for me, so why are you doing this now..."
"How can that count?"
"How can your truest thoughts not be taken seriously? Enough, Helan Ruo, go back now, and don't come back again. Qin Tangning... your former wife, she is... dead, she died in the fire at the Duke's mansion that night. The one standing in front of you now is just another woman who looks like your former wife..."
"But we're husband and wife. Shouldn't we share everything and face everything together?"
"So, did you do it?" Tang Ning asked with a smile. Seeing that the other person seemed about to say something more, she slowly turned around and softly uttered a question.
"Helan Ruo, don't force me anymore..."
Upon hearing such a familiar phrase, He Lanruo, who had been eager to persuade Tang Ning, froze on the spot.
So this is what it feels like.
So that's how Tang Ning felt when she heard him say those words!
Helan Ruo stood there in despair, trembling uncontrollably. With a tremor in his hand, the puppet that he had spent two whole days and nights working on fell directly to the ground.
Even though Tang Ning was standing right in front of him, he felt as if an insurmountable chasm had been drawn between them, and no matter how hard he tried, he could never cross it.
So that's what it feels like.
Helan Ruo watched as Situ Yin, who was standing to the side, walked a few steps to Tang Ning's side, took her hand, and strode forward.
He opened her mouth, and after a long while, Helan Ruo finally spoke.
"If, if you can, please, Uncle, you must... take good care of her... just consider it... just consider it my plea to you, if you can, please don't hurt her anymore... She has already suffered so much, the General's Mansion, Wei Jing, me... until now, she hasn't met anyone who truly cares for her. She's clearly a silly girl who only thinks of others, but actually... as long as you treat her well, she will definitely treat you well in return."
"Also, although we've been married for a month, nothing has happened between us. I haven't touched her at all... Uncle, please don't despise her... If you ever stop liking her, could you please, for Mother's sake, send someone to tell me not to... not to send her to the cold palace, she's very afraid of the dark..."
"Please..."
Although Situ Yin walked quickly, Tang Ning still heard He Lanruo kneeling on the ground behind her, her forehead hitting the bluestone slab heavily.
Bang.
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