Chapter 17 Cosmos (16) You must follow their established path...
Zhao Qianyi returned home on the morning of the second day of the Lunar New Year. She had only been home for three days before leaving again. She said the training course was extremely busy and she needed someone to help her. Li Wen couldn't handle it all by herself, so she had to go. Just being home for three days was a blessing. Lin Xuedong didn't say anything about it. Zhao Qianyi, fearing Lin Xia would be unhappy, bought her some beautiful clothes and promised to come back and spend time with her once he was done with his work.
But Lin Xia no longer had much hope for her promise, and was not as sad about her leaving as she was at first, so she just said obediently, "Okay, Mom, you go and do your work."
Later, Lin Xia often recalled the root cause of the fading relationship between her and Zhao Qianyi, and perhaps it began at this stage. Sixteen and seventeen years old are a sensitive and vulnerable age, a crucial period for the formation of a child's values. Parents play a crucial role in this process, and their absence at this moment can never be compensated for later.
It’s hard to say whose fault it is, it’s just that everyone has their own choices in life, and there are so many regrets and misses in the world.
After the winter vacation, the second half of the first year of high school began. The days passed as usual. Soon, Lin Xia and her classmates faced the first choice in their lives that affected their future prospects - to choose between arts and science.
One day, Zhang Lanlan handed out a form to everyone, asking them to fill out their preferences for arts and science. After the semester ended, the school would reassign classes based on the scores of four exams taken throughout the first year of high school. She instructed the students to submit the form the following Monday and to discuss it with their parents at home, carefully considering their individual circumstances and future plans.
For art students, it doesn’t matter whether they study liberal arts or science, but most art students will choose to study liberal arts because many theoretical majors only recruit liberal arts students.
Lin Xia glanced at the form and asked her deskmate Xu Chang:
"You're also studying literature, right?"
Unexpectedly, Xu Chang raised his head from the novel, pushed his glasses and answered:
"No, I want to study science."
Lin Xia was particularly surprised: "But, you are so bad at science..."
If she remembered correctly, Xu Chang almost failed chemistry and physics.
Because they were her biological classmates, Xu Chang was not angry at being criticized like this. She shrugged and said helplessly:
"I had no choice. My dad insisted that I study science. He said that if I studied liberal arts, I wouldn't be able to find a job. Only science would give me a good future."
The prerequisite for having a good future is to study well, right?
Lin Xia didn't know what to say.
Many parents disregard their children's personal wishes and objective reality, and use their limited vision and experience to try to control their children's lives in the name of doing what is best for them.
"So you want to study liberal arts?"
Xu Chang didn't care: "I don't care. Anyway, I'll listen to my dad in the end."
Many children really have no personal will. I don’t know if it is because they have been suppressed by their parents for a long time, or because they have never had their own ideas from the beginning.
Lin Xia was a little depressed. She had always thought that Xu Chang would study liberal arts. Their grades had always been similar, so maybe they could be assigned to the same class in their second year of high school. She didn't expect that she would have to study science now.
Lin Xia thought about this for the whole morning and was still thinking about it when she was on duty at noon.
She is on duty this week and is responsible for cleaning the windowsills, which not only includes the classroom corridors, but also a shared area on the fire escape staircase from the third floor to the fourth floor.
It was lunch break, and the building was quiet. There wasn't a single student in the stairwell. As she mechanically wiped the windowsill with a rag, she wondered, "Why not study science?" She didn't want to major in art theory anyway, and her grades in arts and science were... well, average, not above average, but better than average. Only her English was a bit weak.
While she was daydreaming, she suddenly noticed someone standing downstairs outside the window. It seemed... was Sister Lan? Yes, it was her. She was indeed wearing this dress today.
She was on the phone and I couldn't hear what she was saying, but her expression and movements were very excited, as if she was arguing. There was a spark flickering at her fingertips, and she was actually smoking.
This is a secluded open space behind the teaching building, where usually no one comes. Lin Xia felt that she had discovered something extraordinary, but she couldn't control her curiosity and continued to peek carefully.
Zhang Lanlan talked on the phone for about half an hour and parted ways with the other party on bad terms. She slammed her slider phone shut, threw the cigarette butt in her hand into an inconspicuous corner, skillfully destroyed the evidence, and then walked into the teaching building.
Lin Xia was a little panicked, but had nowhere to hide, so she hurriedly lowered her head and pretended to continue wiping the windowsill.
After a while, Zhang Lanlan really went upstairs and greeted Lin Xia when she saw her.
"You're on duty this week!"
"Sister Lan..."
Lin Xia spoke somewhat unnaturally, not even daring to meet her gaze.
Zhang Lanlan realized something and glanced out the window. She couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed, but she quickly recovered and winked at Lin Xia, a little naughty:
"Don't tell the dean, teachers are not allowed to smoke in school. He just caught our geography teacher the day before yesterday."
"ah?"
Lin Xia was very surprised. No wonder. The day before yesterday, the geography teacher was very active in teaching her class. Many students were scolded for getting the questions wrong.
It turns out that teachers are also afraid of the dean, just like their students...
After hearing what Zhang Lanlan said, Lin Xia suddenly felt less embarrassed and nodded vigorously:
"Well, I will help Sister Lan keep the secret."
Then she couldn't help asking:
"Sister Lan, who were you talking to on the phone just now? You seemed very angry..."
"My boyfriend, that bastard, made me angry again." Zhang Lanlan sighed.
Lin Xia knew that Zhang Lanlan had a boyfriend. She had told her classmates about it when they were chatting after class. Her boyfriend was the owner of a bar, which sounded... like a profession very far away from them, very magical.
"Lin Xia, do you have a boyfriend?" Zhang Lanlan teased her deliberately. "As far as I know, several boys in your class are eyeing you!"
Hearing this, Lin Xia's mind suddenly flashed with the image of a young man in a white shirt. She blushed and shook her head hurriedly:
"No, I don't like any of them."
"Okay, our little Lin Xia is a good kid, that's why she doesn't like those brats! But remember, if you're dating in the future, you must find someone who's gentle and considerate. Those with carefree and chauvinistic personalities will only make you angry all day long!"
Lin Xia knew she was complaining about her boyfriend and couldn't help but laugh. Discussing premature love, considered an unforgivable sin, with her homeroom teacher was a truly interesting and unique experience, something not every student has the chance to encounter.
"Sister Lan, will you teach the liberal arts class or the science class next semester?" Lin Xia asked.
"I should be teaching the science class."
Lin Xia was surprised again: "Why? Aren't you a Chinese teacher?"
Zhang Lanlan smiled. "The science class has to learn Chinese, too, and they have to take it even more seriously. The head teacher for the arts class will be the math teacher who teaches Class D now. Xiaolin Xia isn't biased towards any of the subjects, so why not study science and continue to be Sister Lan's apprentice?"
Lin Xia was really moved.
Xu Chang and Zhang Lanlan both went to the science class, so what's the point of her going to the liberal arts class alone? It's difficult to go from a general class to a special class, but if you just want to go to a general class, there should still be room for choice.
After returning home that day, Lin Xia told Lin Xuedong about her idea.
Lin Xuedong also knew that there was no difference between an art student studying literature or science. His family had indeed never discussed this, but after thinking for a while, he said:
"When you call me this weekend, tell Mom about this. If she doesn't object, then Dad has no objection."
Lin Xia nodded happily: "Okay!"
However, she did not expect that this matter would be strongly opposed by Zhao Qianyi.
"No! Why study science? You have to study liberal arts! Science won't be as easy as it is now in your second and third year of high school. Your grades will definitely decline by then. Besides, you'll be going out for intensive training in your third year of high school. It's hard to catch up if you miss science and liberal arts classes. If you miss a class, you won't be able to catch up later. Don't let it happen that you pass the art exam but fail the liberal arts exam. That would be a waste of all your efforts!"
"It's hard to find a job if you study liberal arts, but there are more job opportunities if you study science." Lin Xia had no choice but to bring up what Xu Chang's father said.
"As an art student, why are you in charge of all this? If they all flock to science, I don't think anyone will be able to find a job. I've calculated your academic ranking. If you study science, you can only go to the general class. If you study liberal arts, if you do better in the final exam, you might be able to be assigned to the special class. The teachers in the special class are better, and your grades can be improved."
Lin Xia was not convinced and struggled desperately: "But Teacher Zhang and Xu Chang are both going to the science class. I don't want to go to the science class. I want to be with them..."
Zhao Qianyi's disdainful voice came from the phone: "What are teachers and classmates? Can they be with you forever? Are they important to your future? You are still young, and your current thoughts are too naive. In the future, you will understand that I am doing this for your own good. In short, there is no turning back on this matter. You must study literature."
After hanging up the phone, Lin Xia felt very uncomfortable and wanted to cry.
In fact, rationally, she also admitted that everything Zhao Qianyi said made sense, but she just felt uncomfortable.
Are teachers and classmates unimportant? Are teacher-student bonds and friendships unimportant? Because she hasn't grown up, her feelings and emotions are unimportant? Or does it mean that even if she becomes an adult, interpersonal relationships will still be less important than her future and interests?
Just like...she and Lin Xuedong are the same in Zhao Qianyi's mind?
After all, like Xu Chang, she has no decision-making power over major events in her life.
Forget it, let it be.
.
So, after the start of her second year of high school, Lin Xia went to the liberal arts class alone.
Since more than half of the students in the grade chose science, the original twenty classes were reorganized into twelve science classes and eight arts classes. Classes one through three were designated science classes, while Class thirteen was designated arts classes. The majority of students in the original four designated classes also chose science, leading to intense competition in the science classes and leaving vacancies in the arts classes. Lin Xia's overall ranking was right at the cutoff, so she was placed in Class thirteen, the arts class, which was exactly as Zhao Qianyi had predicted.
However, Lin Xia soon discovered that working the shift was a nightmare for her.
In the new class, she lost all her good friends from her freshman year and was surrounded by strangers. The only surprise was that her good friend Jiang Yuhua from junior high school was in the same class with her. However, after just one year, she had changed so much that Lin Xia almost didn't recognize her.
When they were in junior high school, Jiang Yuhua sat behind her. She had long, black and shiny hair and was the envy of all the girls in the class. She was an excellent student, but she was extremely vain. She kept a mirror with her every day and looked at herself in class. She always wore the most fashionable clothes and secretly put on makeup from time to time. She had been scolded by the teacher several times, but she still did her own thing. Lin Xia always thought she was very cool.
But now Jiang Yuhua has her hair cut just above her ears, shorter than many boys', and still has a lot of gray hair. Her face is acne-prone and oily, and she wears a pair of awful colored glasses. She barely speaks to anyone around her, spending her days burying herself in memorizing vocabulary and taking notes. She says her mother forced her to cut her hair because it was too long, affecting her studies, diverting nutrients away from her brain, and hindering her ability to use it.
After saying this, she lowered her head and continued to take notes, ignoring Lin Xia.
Jiang Yuhua is just a microcosm of the many students in this class. There are a total of 60 students in Class 13, with more girls than boys. Among them, more than 50 people wear glasses and more than 40 people have premature gray hair. All of them are studying hard. They have no time to make friends, no time to read comics, no time to fall in love, and they just live mechanically for scores and grades.
Lin Xia's new homeroom teacher, Lü Hong, was also a young woman, under 30. But unlike Zhang Lanlan, she was incredibly traditional and strict, harsh on both her students and herself. According to former students, she got married last year and didn't even take a full day off. After her wedding banquet at noon, she came to school that evening, still in her makeup, to supervise the students during evening study.
She held every student in her class to strict standards, not allowing anyone to fall behind or have a break. She mandated morning reading sessions that started earlier than the school day, and after evening self-study, she ordered everyone to study for an additional hour. She stood at the front of the class, personally supervising the entire process. The slightest infraction of discipline would result in her dragging anyone out and hysterically scolding them. Her voice was so shrill that it could be heard throughout the hallway.
It can be said that such teachers are very responsible, but they are also really cruel.
After Lin Xia arrived at the point class, her previously average grades were eclipsed by these elite students, instantly dropping to the bottom of the class. She finished last in the class on several consecutive exams, which only made Lu Hong, who already looked down on art students, even more displeased. She would be summoned to her office and scolded regularly, using the most venomous language possible. Although Lin Xia had never been an excellent student in school, this was her first experience with what it felt like to be a poor student.
The more anxious she was, the less she could learn, and the less she could learn, the more she got scolded. Under the dual pressure of mental and physical stress, Lin Xia fell ill every once in a while, and her already poor health became even worse.
Finally, after the first semester of their sophomore year, final exams, and winter break homework, they returned to school to collect their grades. Chinese New Year was less than a week away, but Lu Hong wouldn't let them have a break even during the holiday. She went from the top of the transcript list to the bottom, interviewing each student one by one.
Lin Xia unexpectedly did well in the exam this time. I don’t know if it was because she performed exceptionally well or someone performed poorly and fell behind her, but at least this time she fell out of the bottom ten and was no longer at the bottom.
Perhaps because of this, when she arrived at Lu Hong's office trembling with fear, she was not greeted by the usual storm, but by a friendly expression she had never seen before.
Lu Hong asked Lin Xia to sit on the chair in front of the desk. She took the report card and carefully looked at her grades and rankings in each subject. She smiled and said:
"You've made a lot of progress this time. The teacher has noticed your hard work during this period. This shows that you are not a stupid child, Lin Xia. You are actually very smart."
"oh."
Lin Xia thought to herself, when did I become a stupid kid?
But she had long given up arguing with Lu Hong, so whatever she said was what it was.
"But with your current performance, there is still a lot of room for improvement."
After praising her, she started criticizing her again. Lu Hong listed all her shortcomings and weaknesses in each subject. These were all old stuff, and Lin Xia knew it well, so she just listened perfunctorily.
As usual, the conversation would have ended after the criticism, but this time Lu Hong changed the subject and started a new one:
"So, should you consider giving up on pursuing an art degree?"
Lin Xia was caught off guard and startled: "What?"
Lü Hong ignored her surprise and continued with a serious expression:
"You're spending four nights a week studying painting instead of school. It's such a waste. If you use that time to study, your grades will improve significantly. If you work hard, you might even be able to get into a key university."
"But, I want to study art..."
Lu Hong interrupted her without waiting for her to finish, with a somewhat contemptuous tone:
"What career prospects can you get from studying art? What good university can you get into? What kind of job can you find after graduation? At any time, a degree from a prestigious university will guarantee you a living. How many people waste their time studying art during school, thinking they are superior to others, only to end up with poor academic performance and only be able to get into a junior college. After graduation, they can't even find a decent job, and it's difficult to change careers. By then, it's too late to regret it!"
The English teacher in the same office also chimed in:
"Teacher Lu is right. I have a relative whose child is an arts student studying music. Her family spent a fortune on her studies for many years, but after graduation, she could only work as a teacher in a training course and didn't even have a regular job. They say that the employment opportunities for liberal arts graduates are limited, but in fact, the employment opportunities for arts students are even narrower. If you don't reach the top, there will be no future. There are not so many geniuses in this world. Besides, no matter how talented you are, how can you compare to the teaching resources that rich families have piled up with money? Alas, it's a pitfall for children from ordinary families to study art."
The other teachers also joined in the conversation.
Lu Hong was very happy that someone had confirmed her point of view, and continued to persuade Lin Xia:
"Did you hear that? The teachers are all experienced people and won't harm you. In fact, it's too late for you now. If I were your homeroom teacher in your freshman year of high school, I would have helped you change your ways. Was this your parents' decision? I'll call your parents later. I can't keep you up any longer!"
Lin Xia sat on the chair, almost curled up into a small ball, facing the siege of the teachers in the entire office. The so-called valuable advice from the teachers was useless, as she was outnumbered and isolated.
You must follow their established path, otherwise you are a heretic.
This scene is so familiar.
More than a year ago, in this very teaching building, even on this very floor, there was also a person who stood here with his back straight. Facing the misunderstanding of the whole world and the opposition of everyone, he still insisted on being himself and did not compromise in the slightest.
It was the parents' idea that Lin Xia study art. Even if Lu Hong called them, she probably wouldn't be able to convince Zhao Qianyi at all.
However, at this moment, Lin Xia suddenly felt that she should say something, she must say something.
Because this is her own life, she must decide her own life and be responsible for herself.
She suddenly stood up, startling the teachers around her.
She didn't have He Chuan's eloquence, his composure, or his ability to refute arguments in an orderly manner. Therefore, facing the surprised, puzzled, and disapproving looks of all the teachers, the only thing she could do was to speak firmly and announce word by word in the simplest and most straightforward language:
"No, I don't want to give up, I don't want to change, I just want to continue learning to paint."
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