Chapter 64: Cosmic Latte (16) From a probability perspective, love is really...
On the night of the Little New Year's Eve, Qu Na invited Lin Xia to her home for dinner. She lived with her boyfriend Guan Jun. Guan Jun and Qu Na were from the same hometown and both studied in Beijing during college. He currently worked in a state-owned enterprise in Shenzhen. He was a calm and upright person and had met Lin Xia several times. The three of them had dinner together, which was considered a small gathering before the New Year.
Guan Jun's cooking was delicious, and his dumpling fillings were exceptional. Lin Xia raved about them after just one try. That evening, Guan Jun had specially prepared dumplings with both meat and vegetable fillings, and a large table of dishes. Everyone ate, drank, chatted, and laughed. Even though they were all in a foreign land during the holidays, they didn't feel lonely.
However, halfway through the meal, Qu Na and Guan Jun started arguing.
The situation started when Qu Na suddenly announced at the dinner table that she had resigned. Guan Jun was stunned and asked why she hadn't discussed such a big deal with him. Qu Na said it was her personal matter and she had been thinking about it for a long time. Guan Jun asked if she had found a new job. Qu Na said she hadn't, and that she planned to take a break and think about it after the New Year. Guan Jun asked how she would support herself in the meantime. Qu Na said she had savings and he didn't have to worry about supporting her. Guan Jun accused her of being selfish, doing her own thing and only thinking about herself. Did she know they were getting married soon? Then they started arguing.
When a couple quarrels, outsiders have no right to interfere and should not interfere. It is wrong to help anyone. After they make up, you will be left in the lurch.
Lin Xia was caught in the middle and was in a dilemma. She had to take the opportunity to clear away all the food on the table, for fear that they would get too excited and overturn the table.
After Lin Xia finished washing the dishes, cleaning the pot, putting the leftovers in the refrigerator, and tidying up the kitchen, the two of them were still arguing. They say couples argue, and in the end, they're just bringing up old grudges. You blame me for forgetting our anniversary, and I question your flirting with a friend of the opposite sex. It wasn't about who was right or wrong, it was just about letting out some steam.
Looking at the man and woman yelling at each other hysterically in front of her, Lin Xia suddenly saw Lin Xuedong and Zhao Qianyi back then.
She suddenly felt a stomachache, so while they were not paying attention, she picked up her bag and ran out the door quickly. According to the plan, she was going to stay here tonight.
After going through so much trouble to return to Nanshan from Luohu, it was almost 12 o'clock when Lin Xia got home. The abdominal cramps became more and more severe. She thought it was a recurrence of enteritis she had suffered before, so she took Enteritis Ning and ibuprofen. After the pain subsided, she went to bed.
The next day when she went to work at the company, the pain continued. Qu Na called Lin Xia to apologize, saying that they were too emotional and had a quarrel last night and scared her. Lin Xia said it was okay and asked her what happened later. Qu Na said depressedly that Guan Jun was very angry and they had been in a cold war since this morning.
Lin Xia knew that Qu Na had deliberately chosen to confront Guan Jun when she was present yesterday because she was afraid that the two would quarrel over it. She didn't expect that it could not be avoided. She didn't know who was right or wrong, she just felt tired.
By the afternoon, Lin Xia's abdominal pain had become unbearable and the painkillers were no longer effective. She then realized something was wrong and asked for leave to take a taxi to the hospital alone.
After taking an X-ray, drawing blood, and doing a urine test, the conclusion was that the appendix was enlarged.
The doctor said she could either undergo conservative treatment with injections to reduce inflammation or undergo surgery to remove the tumor. However, the former had a high risk of recurrence, so she decided to think carefully before making a decision.
Lin Xia really didn't want to go through such pain again. After struggling with her conscience for a long time, she finally made up her mind to have the surgery.
She immediately took sick leave from the company, went through the admission procedures, received an IV drip, had an electrocardiogram, and was prohibited from eating or drinking water in preparation for the surgery the next day.
At night, Lin Xia lay alone on the bed in the ward, watching the medicine dripping drop by drop from the infusion bottle hanging on the stand, and the fear in her heart grew more and more.
When she was young, she was terrified of hospitals. She would never go unless she was seriously ill, and she always had to be accompanied by her parents. Later, when she went to study and work in other places, without her family around, and with classmates and friends not always available, she learned to go to the hospital alone, from initial resistance to acceptance, and then to common sense.
However, the upcoming surgery broke down her psychological defenses, causing the fear buried deep in her heart to be triggered and she could no longer control it.
It’s hard to say what we are afraid of specifically, but it’s just the fear of the unknown, the fear of disease, and the fear of death, perhaps mixed with loneliness and solitude.
Lin Xia hadn't told anyone about the surgery. It wasn't that she didn't have friends, but they were either too far away to reach her or too embarrassed to bother her. It was the end of the year, and everyone had their own lives. Who could leave their families and work to spend time around her? Adults need to learn to be independent and self-reliant, and have a sense of boundaries.
In addition, there is another person, He Chuan.
Lin Xia could not deny that she had hesitated to contact He Chuan several times, but she didn't know whether he had returned to China, nor did she know his phone number.
It has been almost a month since He Chuan left, but there has been some news from him during this period. One day last week, Lin Xia received a postcard from a foreign country at the company. On it was a watercolor hand-painted picture of Big Ben and the London Eye. On the back was written that everything was fine with him and he would be back soon, so she didn't have to worry about him.
The postcard had postmarks in both English and Chinese, as well as traces of dirt from traveling across the ocean. For a moment, it gave Lin Xia the illusion that she had been waiting for this moment for many years.
She knew, of course she knew, that if she really wanted to, she could easily find He Chuan, ask Tan Zhizhou, ask the law firm, or even ask a colleague to go downstairs. They would never truly lose contact. But she just wouldn't. She didn't want to show weakness, didn't want to give in, didn't want to rely on him for help because of this sudden illness. Maybe there was a hint of anger in her. She had been through it all on her own for the past seven years, so why couldn't she do it now? If he hadn't returned, if they hadn't reunited, wouldn't she have gotten appendicitis?
At least, she can handle it on her own now. If it really doesn't work, then we can talk about it later...
.
Early the next morning, Lin Xia was pushed into the operating room.
Minimally invasive surgery for appendicitis is almost one of the most insignificant operations in the hospital. Doctors and nurses are accustomed to it and they cut the knife without any hesitation. Before Lin Xia passed out from the anesthesia, she heard them discussing that the tea eggs for breakfast in the cafeteria today were too salty.
Sometimes, before something happens, people imagine a thousand possibilities, terrified by their own assumptions. But when they finally face it, they realize it's nothing like it. It's no exaggeration to say that before Lin Xia went on the operating table, she'd completely contemplated the worst-case scenario and nearly left a suicide note in her phone's notes. But after the anesthesia wore off, her eyes closed and opened, and everything was over. If it weren't for the coin-sized wound on her stomach, there wouldn't have been a hint of reality.
It was over? The thing she had been dreading for so long, the thing she had been terrified of for so long, was just over like that? It turned out that undergoing surgery alone, the legendary loneliest part of single life, was just like this.
Lin Xia was lying on the bed, with a tube inserted and an IV drip in her body, thinking dazedly with her head that had not yet fully recovered. After this ordeal, she seemed to have grown and transformed a little. The day that Song Ci had told her would be the day of overcoming this confused stage should not be far away.
Of course, it was a different story when the anesthetic wore off and the incision hurt so much that she cried uncontrollably, attracting patients from the next ward.
In fact, surgery is not difficult to face. No matter how complicated the surgery is, it can be completed in a few hours. The real difficult part is the postoperative recovery period.
Since she was hospitalized alone, the doctors and nurses took special care of her and helped her find a very nice nurse. The patient in the other bed in the double ward was an old lady who also had an appendectomy and was about to be discharged. She passed on her experience to Lin Xia, and her kind face with her soft voice made Lin Xia think of her grandmother who was far away in Shandong.
When people are sick, their physiological functions are damaged and they have no dignity at all. There are many unspeakable details in the postoperative recovery process that make Lin Xia want to cry. If it weren't for someone really close to her being with her, it would be very embarrassing. But now, with a complete stranger by her side, she doesn't feel any psychological burden.
Nowadays, the food delivery and errand running industry is well developed. As long as one has money, whatever he needs can be ordered online and delivered directly to the ward. If something from home is really needed, Lin Xia asks Wen Xixi to make a trip. They both have the keys to each other's homes, just in case.
When Xixi came over and saw Lin Xia's condition, she was very worried:
"Can you do it on your own? You really don't need me to stay with you for a few days?"
"No need. I've been here alone these past few days, haven't I? Chinese New Year is the day after tomorrow. I remember you said you'd bought a ticket for tonight, right?"
"Well, but I really don't want to go home. My parents will definitely urge me to get married when I get home." Xixi sighed.
Lin Xia asked tentatively: "How are you and your boyfriend...now?"
After all, we just said we shouldn't contact each other for the time being, so it's not a formal breakup, and there's still hope.
Xixi sneered, "Don't mention it. I went to Guangzhou to find him on New Year's Day, hoping to salvage our relationship. After all, we've been together for so many years, and I really don't want to let him go. I didn't expect him to find a new girlfriend so soon, and they're actually living together. I stood at his door, watching them open the door in their matching pajamas, looking like clowns."
She paused, then said sarcastically, "Men are no different from dogs sometimes. They have to be kept on a leash at all times. If you let them go for even a second, they'll break free and start eating shit. You can't stop them. Of course, it's also possible that they've already started eating shit when the leash wasn't loosened. They have absolutely no sense of shame."
Lin Xia didn't know how to answer her for a moment, and her heart sank heavily.
From a probability perspective, love is really rarer than seeing a ghost.
.
In the blink of an eye, it is New Year's Eve.
The Spring Festival is the most important festival of the year for the Chinese. Family reunion is an obsession engraved in the bones of the descendants of Yan and Huang. On this day, all hospitalized patients, unless they are terminally ill or in a life-threatening situation, are discharged and returned home, including the old lady in the bed next door. The entire hospital building becomes empty in an instant.
It was four days after Lin Xia's surgery, and she could have been discharged, but she chose to stay. Back home, she'd still be alone, and it would be more lively to be with the doctors and nurses on duty at the hospital. Perhaps she could tolerate the loneliness under normal circumstances, but during this special Spring Festival while she was ill, she simply didn't want to spend it alone.
The nurse had a family of her own, so Lin Xia let her go home early. She felt sorry for her and made her some pork rib and winter melon soup, along with some soft noodles, promising to come see her the next morning. Lin Xia was grateful; today was the first day she could eat semi-liquid food, and she relished the simple New Year's Eve dinner.
At eight o'clock in the evening, the Spring Festival Gala was playing on TV, but she really didn't want to watch it. She got out of bed and went out, slowly moving to the bathroom by herself. The doctor told her to walk more to avoid intestinal adhesions.
Passing the hall, she walked to the huge floor-to-ceiling window and looked out. Outside, there were thousands of lights and neon lights flashing, but it was very quiet. Shenzhen had banned fireworks for many years, and the joy of the New Year was much less. She was even a little grateful for this. If there were constant crackling sounds outside at this time, she would probably feel even more sad.
Various group chats and messages kept flashing in her phone, all of them were greeting each other for the new year, but she didn't want to read them at all. Family, friendship and love were all so far away from her at this moment. She leaned against the window and rested her forehead on the glass that was cold from the air conditioner. For a moment, she felt that she would end up alone in this way for the rest of her life.
It’s not bad, so let it be.
The phone in her hand vibrated slightly. A call came in. The number looked familiar, but Lin Xia couldn't remember who it was. Maybe it was a courier or the post office. After all, there were many things she bought online that she couldn't receive in the past few days.
So she picked up the phone and asked calmly:
"Hello, who are you looking for?"
There was silence on the other end of the receiver for a few seconds, and then a familiar, heart-wrenching voice floated into her ears:
"Xia Xia."
At this moment, Lin Xia's eyes felt sore and she almost shed tears.
"He Chuan..."
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