Chapter 37 Spring Day Green (20) They were both young then, their eyes...
On the way from Jinan to Beijing, Lin Xia stayed up almost all night, thinking a lot. Their past, their obstacles, their relationship, what they were afraid of, and what their future would be like.
All possibilities, all bad outcomes.
If Lin Xuedong hadn't mentioned this inadvertently, she might never have known that he was in trouble. What if something happened to him, he became disabled, paralyzed, and couldn't be rescued... She wouldn't even be able to see him for the last time. She couldn't even imagine it.
Life is so impermanent, life is so fragile.
When that time comes, his last words to her will be, take care and don't worry about me. Then she will never forgive him or herself in her life.
She wants to fight this time, take this gamble. No matter what happens in the future, she wants to live in the present, live in this moment.
"He Chuan, do you like me or not?"
The sword is drawn, and the fight begins, and they will not turn back until they see blood.
The girl's eyes are so bright, mixed with youthful shyness, bravery and sincerity.
Faced with such direct and passionate questioning, He Chuan was shocked and almost dared not look directly into Lin Xia's eyes.
"Xia Xia, you——"
"Answer me, do you like me or not?"
"I......"
"Do you like me or not?"
He retreated inch by inch, and she pressed closer and closer, finally forcing him to press against the wall. His face was pale, his whole body was trembling, and he couldn't utter a word.
Lin Xia still stood stubbornly in front of his bed, blocking his way out, trying hard not to let her tears fall, and asked almost pleadingly:
"He Chuan, tell me..."
The judgment of life and death happens at this moment.
"Hey hey hey! What are you doing?"
Suddenly, a shout came from behind, interrupting the almost tense atmosphere between the two people.
Lin Xia subconsciously turned around and saw a tall, middle-aged woman in a nurse's uniform rushing over, grabbing her arm and pulling her away:
"You two should talk it over nicely. He just had surgery and is too weak to handle it. What if you get too close and the patient's wound splits?"
"No, I won't leave!"
Lin Xia struggled to get rid of her, but the aunt's hands were like iron pliers and could not be pried open.
"Let me go!"
"Why are you still so excited, girl?"
While the two were fighting like an eagle catching a chick, He Chuan seemed to have finally recovered a little. He took a deep breath, suppressed the trembling of his whole body, and spoke in a hoarse voice:
"Aunt Liu, I...I'm fine. Please go out first. We have something to talk about..."
Aunt Liu, the nurse, looked between the two people with a doubtful look:
"Xiao He, are you really okay?"
Seeing He Chuan nodded, Aunt Liu didn't care any more. Before leaving, she still worriedly told Lin Xia:
"Little girl, please be nice and give some consideration to the patient."
Aunt Liu left the house and thoughtfully closed the door for them. Lin Xia calmed down and felt that she had gone too far. She secretly looked up at He Chuan and saw that he was still slumped at the head of the bed, his face still so haggard. She couldn't help but feel distressed and guilty.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so willful..."
She choked and said,
"I like you. I like you very much. You don't have to answer me..."
But He Chuan shook his head gently, interrupting her. He reached out and patted the bed beside him, and whispered:
"Xia Xia, come sit here."
Lin Xia hesitated for a moment, walked over reluctantly, and sat down carefully.
She raised her head nervously and looked at the person next to her, only to see that the gaze that had been evading her for a long time finally fell on her after many twists and turns. His eyes were gentle and calm, happy and sad.
He said to her slowly:
"Xia Xia, do you know what I was thinking at the moment of the car accident?"
He was sitting in the back seat of a taxi, watching helplessly as an oncoming car lost control and hurtled toward him, instantly turning the world upside down. The body is insensitive to the intense pain, and in the seconds before he passed out, many fragments of his life flashed before his eyes. He'd heard from the elderly that people see a revolving lantern before they die, and perhaps that was it.
Life in one's early twenties is not so full of ups and downs, and many experiences are not worth remembering. Whether it is a poor and lonely childhood, a high school with mountains of books and seas of exams, or studying away from home, when they flash before his eyes, they are all gray.
But in this endless darkness, there were also a few brief flashes of color, bright and lively, rich and colorful, scene after scene, all belonging to only one person, a little girl who suddenly broke into his life, innocent and courageous.
He no longer remembered how it all began, but when he realized it, she already existed in his heart. He had been deliberately suppressing his feelings and trying to distance himself from her. However, the human heart was so uncontrollable that the more he suppressed it, the more shaken it became.
"Xia Xia, I said you'd regret it, but I'm the one who's already regretting it. This car accident was serious, and both drivers died. If I had thought differently that day and sat in the passenger seat, I might not be here talking to you now. My life ended on that day, and all my resentment will become a lifelong regret."
"I will regret it. Regret that I, presumptuously doing it for your own good, severed our bond without authorization. Regret that I didn't kiss your face at the train station when we said goodbye. Regret that I didn't hold you when we were hiding from the rain in the abandoned warehouse on the roadside of Xiaolinchang. Regret that I haven't verified with you whether it would be a sunny day on the winter solstice. Regret that I haven't taken you to see the sea in Hong Kong. Regret...that I never told you that when I first saw you, you were wearing a white dress, holding my poetry book, your eyes lowered as you read. You looked as adorable as a little elf in the forest."
He Chuan stared into Lin Xia's eyes, slowly raised his hand, and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, as if touching the most precious and fragile treasure in the world. He said to her word by word, seriously:
"Xia Xia, I like you, I have always liked you, but I was timid and never dared to tell you. Now I apologize to you, can you forgive me?"
The tears that had been rolling in Lin Xia's eyes for a long time finally flowed down. She shook her head vigorously:
"No forgiveness."
Just as He Chuan's expression darkened and his movements stiffened, she leaned over, avoiding the wound on his chest and abdomen and the hanging arm, carefully resting her head on his shoulder, and said in a muffled voice:
"It depends on your future performance. I'm not that easy to get rid of..."
He Chuan was stunned for a few seconds, and it took him a while to react to the meaning of her words. A bitterness and joy burst out from his heart. He breathed a sigh of relief, put his arm around her shoulders, and whispered:
"You can take your time to study it. It doesn't matter how long it takes, even a lifetime."
Even if there was an abyss in the future, at this moment, he jumped resolutely.
The two people were immersed in this long-awaited hug that finally showed their mutual understanding. Their bodies were not close to each other, but their hearts were closer than ever before.
I don't know how long it was before someone knocked on the door of the ward. Aunt Liu stuck her head in and said:
"Have the young lovers had their quarrel? It's time for the IV, or you won't be able to finish your morning medicine."
The two people jumped away from each other as if frightened, looked at each other, saw a blush on each other's face, and smiled at the same time, that smile was three parts sweet and three parts silly.
Lin Xia hesitantly said, "You, you should get the injection quickly. Your health is important."
.
He Chuan has been alone since he was admitted to the hospital, with no family members to accompany him or friends to visit him. Of course, he has attracted a lot of attention. Today, there was suddenly another person in the ward, a young girl. The nurse who came to give him an injection couldn't help but be curious:
"Is this your sister or your girlfriend?"
He Chuan paused and replied a little embarrassedly: "Girlfriend."
The nurse smiled and said, "What a wonderful relationship you two have. You finally have someone to keep you company this time."
He Chuan smiled and said, "Yeah."
When she heard the news that something happened to him, she would rush over from afar to check on his safety, worry about him, and feel sorry for him. From beginning to end, there was only this little girl in her mind.
Lin Xia stood aside, blushing, not daring to speak. Friends, relatives, acquaintances—how many lies had they told each other over the years to conceal each other's existence? She had only been on the job for a few minutes, and she wasn't used to her new role as girlfriend yet.
After the nurse left, Lin Xia moved a stool and sat next to He Chuan's bed, accompanying him for the infusion. She imitated how his parents used to care for him, asking him if the medicine was cold, if the infusion was fast enough, and if his stomach felt uncomfortable.
He Chuan smiled and said, "Don't worry, I've been fighting for many days and I'm used to it."
"By the way," Lin Xia suddenly remembered something and asked anxiously, "When does your mother usually come over?"
"She came here once before and probably won't come again. She's going to look after Uncle Lin. I told Aunt Liu to keep an eye on us outside. If she comes unexpectedly, Aunt Liu will remind us."
Seeing Lin Xia's expression becoming somewhat gloomy, He Chuan couldn't help but explain to her:
"Xia Xia, since I've decided to be with you, I'm ready to face everything with you, but there's no need for us to confront them head-on now. We're still students, without financial independence, and therefore no say. If they object, if they disagree with us being together, we won't have any means to fight back. In the end, we'll either compromise and give up, or both of us will suffer, which won't be worth the loss. Let's wait a little longer, at least until we both graduate, get jobs, and move away from them to other cities. Our parents' control over us won't be as strong anymore, and then we'll truly be qualified to decide our own lives. Until then, they can't know about our affairs for the time being."
"Xia Xia, I don't want to have a fruitless relationship with you," He Chuan said solemnly, "I want to be with you forever."
"I know, I didn't misunderstand."
Lin Xia smiled. Of course she would not doubt He Chuan's sincerity.
She had made all kinds of boasts in the heat of the moment, but it would be best if she didn't have a conflict with her family. She couldn't imagine what she would do if Zhao Qianyi and Lin Haisheng strongly opposed them being together. She agreed with He Chuan's approach that their affairs should not be publicized.
"I just feel a little sorry for you." Lin Xia whispered, "You're in the hospital for surgery, and there's no one to accompany you."
When she arrived, she didn't see anyone and assumed He Ping had just gone out temporarily, but she hadn't come at all. Even if mother and son weren't close, they shouldn't have neglected each other to this extent. Lin Xia herself was afraid of hospitals; she couldn't imagine how terrifying and lonely it would be to be hospitalized and undergo surgery alone.
He Chuan was stunned, silent for a moment, and said softly:
"It's okay, it's just a minor surgery. At least she paid for the medical expenses and hired a nurse. I don't have any complaints. If she really stayed with me all the time, I'm afraid that would be a problem for me."
Lin Xia wanted to comfort him, but she didn't know how to start. He had always avoided talking about He Ping, and perhaps he didn't want her to sympathize with him or comfort him, so Lin Xia changed the subject:
"Have you visited my grandfather? How is he?"
“I’ve been there, and the situation isn’t good…”
"My dad said that grandpa might need a second operation. Is that confirmed now?"
He Chuan nodded: "Yes."
"So, is it risky?"
"No one can say for sure now."
After that, both of them fell silent.
Life is fragile and the world is unpredictable. You and I are small and powerless. The only thing we can do is to grasp the present moment. This minute, this second, is the most important.
So He Chuan said:
"During the morning rounds, the doctor said I could walk around. I haven't been out for a long time. Can you walk downstairs with me later?"
Lin Xia nodded gently:
"Okay, I'll go with you."
.
After the infusion and dinner, Lin Xia accompanied He Chuan downstairs in the afternoon. There was a small garden behind the inpatient department. In midsummer, the flowers and plants were lush, and a few patients and their families walked here, which was very quiet.
It had been more than a week since He Chuan's surgery and the stitches had been removed, but he hadn't fully recovered yet. His broken arm required him to recuperate slowly. The two of them just took a few short steps and then sat down side by side on a bench in the shade, chatting casually.
"When do you start school? How are your preparations?" He Chuan asked Lin Xia.
"School starts on the 25th, and I've almost finished preparing everything I need. My mom said I can just buy the rest when I get to school."
"That's right. You don't need to bring too much stuff. I'm sure you have everything on campus. By the way, have you learned how to ride a bike? Tsinghua is such a big campus. It would be inconvenient if you don't know how to ride a bike."
Lin Xia snorted softly: "Who is responsible for my inability to ride a bike? Someone stood me up."
He Chuan knew she was talking about the incident at Xiaolin Farm three years ago. Although he couldn't be blamed for it, he still apologized in a good-tempered manner:
"Yes, it's my fault."
After he apologized like this, Lin Xia felt embarrassed.
"Don't worry, I learned it some time ago. Song Ci taught me."
"Who is Song Ci?"
"My deskmate. Oh, I was so busy studying before that I didn't tell you. Song Ci is my new deskmate after I returned to school after training. She's pretty, a good student, and a very nice person. She often helps me with homework."
"I see."
He Chuan's tone and expression were very calm. At first glance, there was nothing unusual, but Lin Xia still noticed something slightly wrong.
With a tentative mind, she deliberately continued:
"Before, I said I wanted to learn how to ride a bike, so she taught me. I couldn't keep my balance and was about to fall. She held the bike with one hand and me with the other, never letting go, and finally taught me. Including this time, it was she who covered for me so I could sneak out to see you. Although she seems aloof, she's really nice to me. Plus, I always feel like she's a bit like you—so calm, so steady, and so talented. You two even have similar glasses!"
He Chuan hesitated, wanting to say something but unwilling to speak. In the end, he just frowned slightly and asked with great difficulty and forbearance:
"He-he looks like me?"
Lin Xia couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing:
"Song Ci is a girl! Didn't you guys sit separately in your senior year of high school?"
He Chuan was stunned for a moment, then realized that he was wrong. He suddenly became a little embarrassed and turned his head to the other side awkwardly, but his exposed ears and neck were visibly red.
Lin Xia had never seen He Chuan like this before. She was as surprised and curious as a cat seeing a ball of yarn. She reached out to pull He Chuan's face back.
"What's wrong? Are you angry? Jealous? Shy? Turn around and let me see you!"
He Chuan had just finished surgery and was weak. After struggling with Lin Xia for a long time, he finally gave in. He turned around and said slowly,
"Yes, Xia Xia, I am jealous."
There was still a faint blush on his face, and he looked at Lin Xia with a very serious and honest look, which made Lin Xia's face turn red involuntarily.
She whispered:
"He Chuan, I won't like anyone else. I only like you."
Looking down at the shy, yet bold and enthusiastic little girl in front of him, He Chuan could no longer contain his joy and admiration. He whispered to her:
"Me too, Xia Xia, I only like you."
He reached out and stroked her cheek, then slowly lowered his head.
Lin Xia subconsciously closed her eyes, and then a kiss lightly fell on her lips.
So green, so innocent, so cautious, so happy and joyful.
A thin layer of sweat formed on his palms, and her half-closed eyelashes trembled slightly. Their breathing became rapid and their hearts beat like thunder. They would never have such a first kiss again in their entire lives.
Their relationship began in the scorching summer of Wangchun Forest Farm three years ago, brewed in thousands of messages sent on mobile phones in the north and south of Beijing and Hong Kong, broke out on the delayed green train to the Northeast in a snowstorm, and finally took root, sprouted and blossomed in this sudden car accident, this secluded hospital, and this old ward.
There were many obstacles and difficulties between the two of them, but no one was afraid. At that time, they were both young, with bright eyes and strong blood. They were determined to be together forever and did not believe that there was nothing they could do or that there was indifference in the world.
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