Chapter 14 Cosmos (13) That was the most beautiful thing in her entire midsummer...
He Chuan asked Lin Xia to run in front wearing his sweatshirt, and he followed behind pushing the car. Taking advantage of the break in the rain, the two of them rushed home in time.
I didn't expect there was a power outage at home.
The power supply in this small town is unstable, and power outages are common during rainy and snowy days, especially in the suburban bungalows. It's already dark, and the power company is closed. There's no telling when the repairs will be done, and it looks like there won't be any power today.
He Chuan rummaged through the drawers and found a flashlight, but unfortunately there were no batteries. He then found a candle and matches, and after lighting them, the faint candlelight barely illuminated the room.
They dried their hair and changed their clothes. He Chuan cooked blanched noodles, beat egg broth, and simply heated up yesterday's leftovers. Both of them were hungry, so they gobbled up everything in no time.
It was raining heavily outside and the house was a little cold. Lin Xia wrapped herself in a blanket and huddled with He Chuan on the sofa in the living room, chatting idly.
The nights when there is a power outage are always boring. When humans lose electricity, it seems that they have suddenly returned to the primitive society. They cannot watch TV, play computer games, read books or newspapers. They have lost all entertainment activities and can only close their eyes and sleep.
The clock on the wall turned to eight o'clock, which was the time when people were most energetic. However, He Chuan said:
"Go to bed. I'll take you back to your room."
Lin Xia grabbed him and said, "Leave the candle for me!"
"This candlestick is unstable. I'm afraid you might accidentally start a fire."
"Then sit with me for a while. I'm not sleepy yet."
He Chuan saw through her thoughts and laughed: "Why are you scared again? Don't you usually turn off the lights when you go to bed? Are you afraid of thunder?"
"I'm not afraid of thunder. I just thought of the book again."
"Which book?"
"'Earth's 30,000 Years'," Lin Xia said distressedly. "I had almost forgotten it, but when I was chatting with my classmates today, I found that everyone had read similar things, such as unsolved mysteries of the world. As we talked, I remembered everything I had read before."
If we ever look back at the trauma of her childhood, this book will undoubtedly have a place there.
He Chuan tried to untie her knot: "What exactly are you afraid of?"
"Well...it's the unknown. Isn't it said that people are always afraid of the unknown?"
"For example?"
"Like... the alien incident?"
“A lot of it can be proven to be false.”
"But there really are bodies and remains!"
"It's a composite piece. It was reported on TV."
"Really?" Lin Xia was skeptical. "What about the crop circles?"
"The wheat around the sprinkler is just taller and denser."
"Where's the Tianchi water monster? Someone filmed it. It's black, swimming very fast, with a trumpet-shaped tail trailing behind it."
"That's a North Korean speedboat crossing the border."
"What about the Bermuda Triangle?"
He Chuan was speechless for a moment and couldn't answer.
"Where's the crystal skull?"
“…”
"You finally don't know this time!"
He Chuan felt a little helpless. He did often watch the news and science and education programs, but he was just a 19-year-old boy who had never left his small city.
Lin Xia felt like she had pulled a win; he knew everything, making her seem completely clueless. But after feeling proud, she felt a surge of regret. She would rather he knew everything and could answer her questions.
She asked softly, "Do you think the world will really be destroyed in 2012? Is the Mayan prophecy true?"
"I don't know either," He Chuan shook his head. "But a long time ago, there was a rumor that 1999 was the end of the world. Many people firmly believed that the earth would be destroyed on the last day of the 20th century. But in the end, nothing happened, and the whole world welcomed the millennium peacefully."
It was 1999. Lin Xia calculated that she had just started elementary school. What was she doing on the last day of the year? Apparently, because the next day was New Year's Day, she was crying because she had to go to dance class. Her limbs were stiff, her dancing was uncoordinated, and leg stretches were extremely painful. She always cried for a long time because of the dance class. Fortunately, Zhao Qianyi eventually gave up because she didn't have any talent.
"What about you? What were you doing on the legendary day of the end of the world?" Lin Xia asked.
"That day... that day was a very ordinary day. I was home alone and my father went out drinking. I thought he wouldn't be back that night... but he did come back later."
His father should be He Ping's deceased ex-husband. This was the first time Lin Xia heard this identity from He Chuan.
In truth, Lin Xia had always been curious about his past, but she hadn't been able to ask. He Chuan never mentioned it either, believing it would only make the already awkward situation and relationship in their family even more awkward. Perhaps it was the darkness that emboldened them tonight, or perhaps it was the sound of the rain that relaxed their guard. Under the dim candlelight, they couldn't see each other's expressions, but some questions slipped out easily.
"Have you always been with your father before?"
"Um."
"Where's your mother?"
He Chuan said calmly, "She left when I was very young and went to work in another place. I don't know where. Later, my father passed away and I lived with my uncle. A few years later, she came back to take me away, and then I came to Wangchun."
"Did you miss your mother at that time?"
"At first, I did think about it, but then I gradually stopped thinking about it. Because if I keep doing this, it will only make me miserable."
After he finished speaking, both of them fell silent. For a moment, the only sound in the living room was the crackling sound of raindrops hitting the eaves and glass outside.
"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"
Lin Xia leaned back on the sofa and said in a voice as soft as it could be:
"Because I feel like my mother might leave me too."
He Chuan also heard Lin Xia mention her parents and couldn't help but comfort her:
"No, don't let your imagination run wild."
"I'm not imagining things. I know everything. She wants to go out into the world, just like your mother, just like... you."
Lin Xia looked at the spider-web-like cracks on the ceiling and said slowly:
"My mother studied music and has loved singing since she was a child. She has a beautiful voice. She can play beautiful piano music and sing bel canto, which is amazing. But in the small city of Wangchun, she has no place to use her talents except as a music teacher. When she was young, she had an opportunity to develop her career in the provincial capital, but she happened to fall seriously ill and didn't go. Over the years, she has been unwilling to accept it, feeling that her talent has been unappreciated and buried. Although she has never said this to my face, I know it all."
"Also, at the beginning of the year, she had a conflict with the school. Over the years, she had led students in choir and instrument practice, worked hard in competitions, and won many honors for the school, but she had never been selected for a higher-level position. This year's spot was given to someone with connections, and she had a falling out with the school leaders. Then she went home and continued the argument with Dad, complaining that he was stubborn and incompetent. She called Aunt Wen in the middle of the night to cry, and I went to the bathroom and happened to overhear her."
Adults never treat children as equals, believing them to be young and incomprehensible. They conceal everything, avoid it, and hide it from them. They act arbitrarily and make arbitrary decisions, all for their own good. They never realize that children are also family members, partners in life, with the right to know and the right to speak. The false dream of a carefree life is like a colorful bubble, which will eventually burst.
Especially for a smart and precocious sixteen-year-old girl, she was already past the age of innocence and ignorance.
"Actually, I admire my mother very much. I admire all those who have dreams and pursue them. However, I can't bear to see her leave. If she goes to the provincial capital, she might not come back for weeks or months. During this period, I have tried very hard to adapt to her absence, but I can't do it. Every night before going to bed, I still miss her very much. I have dreamed of her several times. What I hope most in my heart is that Dad can finally persuade Mom to come back... Tell me, am I being very selfish..."
The words that had been suppressed in her heart for so long were finally broken open like a flood in a dam, and she vented out unrestrainedly.
She couldn't say these words to her father, her mother, or her friends of the same age, but on this rainy night with a power outage, she said them all to He Chuan.
A warm hand suddenly touched her cold cheek. It was not until this moment that she realized that she had been crying without knowing when.
She heard He Chuan's calm voice:
"I don't know if this is selfish, but selfishness isn't a derogatory word. It's a neutral word. Everyone is selfish and can only live for themselves. There's nothing wrong with that. We're all ordinary people, and so are our parents. We can't force things on each other. Many things happen, and we can only accept them. We all have to grow up eventually, leave home, and be away from our parents. If not now, then one day in the future."
No one had ever said such words to Lin Xia. Not in books, not by teachers, not by parents. Are people allowed to be selfish? Can parents be selfish, too? Yes, she couldn't live with her parents forever. Sooner or later, they would be separated.
These words were cruel, yet true, making Lin Xia feel both uncomfortable and relieved, with a complicated feeling.
"You are only three years older than me, why are you so much more mature than me?" she asked in confusion.
"I don't understand everything, but I just happened to have experienced what you've been through. Although our situations are different, I know how to think so that I can feel better." He Chuan sighed softly, "Xia Xia, many things are like this when you're a teenager. It's painful and uncomfortable at the time, but if you get through it, it will pass."
"Have you overcome all your painful days?"
He Chuan was silent for a moment, then said slowly:
"Maybe not, but the worst days are over. Even if the road ahead is difficult, I think I can get through it."
That night, Lin Xia and He Chuan chatted until very late. They talked about everything, their imaginations running wild, and they talked about whatever came to their mind. They had only been together for a dozen years, but it seemed like they had endless things to say.
She asked if you can see the sea in Hong Kong?
He said probably it was possible.
She said she had never seen the sea since she was a child.
He said he was too.
He asked her if there was anything she wanted to do during the summer vacation that she hadn't done yet?
She said she heard from Aunt Hao that there was a stream on the mountain and she wanted to go fishing. The fried ice fruit she had at the cold drink shop today was delicious and she wanted to have it again. She also wanted to learn to ride a bicycle because she saw that all the high school students rode bicycles to and from school, including him, and she thought it was very cool.
He said, okay, he would teach her to ride a bike tomorrow.
Because white is unlucky, the candles in the house are red, burning with orange-yellow flames. As time goes by, they become shorter and shorter, and are then replaced by another. The melted wax flows down like tears, all accumulating on the base of the candlestick, solidifying into traces of time.
They were just like the ancient people thousands of years ago, discussing the past and the present in the sound of rain and candlelight, and they refused to leave until they were sleepy and thirsty.
Lin Xia didn't even know when she fell asleep. She only remembered that she had a dream that night. In the dream, there was a 20-base astronomical calendar created by the civilization that flourished in the tropical rainforests of Central and South America in the 9th century, as well as a gentle and cautious embrace.
It was the most beautiful dream she had throughout the midsummer.
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