Chapter 42 Separation during the Rainy Season? Divorce?
Lin Fei thought he wanted to do it, so she gradually relaxed and went to meet him.
Just as she was about to immerse herself in it, he stopped, and their foreheads touched.
He kissed her forehead, eyes, nose, and lips.
"Feiwen," his voice was terribly hoarse, "don't ignore my feelings, okay?"
She felt like she was about to drown in his gentle sea.
Lin Fei, who was good at lying, couldn't answer a single question.
I'm afraid I'll let her down; after all, someone as cold-hearted and self-centered as her isn't worth having expectations of.
"I'm tired." Lin Fei felt a warm current in her chest that felt unfamiliar to her.
Why did she feel happy just by looking at him?
What a strange reaction, and... what an annoying reaction. She can accept all kinds of unexpected events, but she can't accept uncontrollable emotions.
Losing control of her emotions terrifies her.
Lin Fei's avoidance left Liang Yanzhe feeling utterly helpless, but he didn't want to pressure her anymore, and he didn't want to become someone who "didn't meet the criteria" in her heart.
Everyone approaches relationships differently. Perhaps Lin Fei is like that; she only needs companionship and resists deep ties, as discussing these things would trouble her.
He didn't want them to argue either, because Lin Fei was annoying.
Liang Yanzhe lay down and held her as she fell asleep, saying goodnight to her every night as always.
Lin Fei almost suffered from insomnia.
She is usually very good at convincing herself, but this time she couldn't find a way to convince herself. Even the universal excuse of thinking less and avoiding internal conflict didn't work. Strange but elusive emotions kept lingering around her.
Liang Yanzhe got up and went to work in the morning, while Lin Fei was already in a deep sleep.
She slept until 2 p.m., and after getting up, she had nothing to do, so she stayed in the study making baby clothes for Shunshun.
Many people have messaged her on social media asking if she can customize a set for their pets, with most inquiring about cotton-padded dolls.
She opened up ten spots on a first-come, first-served basis, and they were all snapped up almost instantly as soon as the link was released.
Lin Fei took out the Zhuang brocade from the box. This batch was machine-woven, and the price of the clothes was cheaper than before.
She had already cut the fabric before dinner and stayed up all night sewing it together. She can deliver the finished product by the day after tomorrow at the latest.
Looking at the deposit for ten sets of clothes in her account, she sighed slightly and suddenly began to doubt herself about her decision to open a small shop.
It's all hard work for no reward, and one trouble after another keeps piling up.
Liang Yanzhe was on night duty, and Lin Fei stayed up all night. When he returned from his shift, she had just come out of the study.
After expending her excess energy at the sewing machine, Lin Fei felt much better. When she saw Liang Yanzhe, she yawned and asked, "Want to have breakfast and go to sleep together?"
Liang Yanzhe frowned: "Don't stay up late all the time, it's bad for your health."
"It's okay, I'll be fine after I get enough sleep," Lin Fei said nonchalantly. "What should we eat?"
She changed the subject; if he kept pressing the issue, he would seem petty.
"I'll order morning tea and fresh fruit juice. Go wash up first." Liang Yanzhe put down his briefcase, loosened his tie with one hand, rolled up his sleeves, and went into the kitchen.
Lin Fei felt much more energetic after brushing his teeth and washing his face. He ate breakfast until he was nine-tenths full, and then he felt sleepy.
"I think I'm feeling dizzy from carbon monoxide poisoning." She got up and went back to her room. "I'm going to wash up and go to bed."
Liang Yanzhe tidied up the table and went back to his bedroom to wash up.
The two slept together until 3 p.m. Because there was a team building activity the next day, Liang Yanzhe didn't dare let Lin Fei sleep until she naturally woke up, worried that she wouldn't be able to adjust her sleep schedule back to normal.
Lin Fei packed up the clothes and sent them out, then had a hot pot dinner before going to bed at 11 p.m. sharp.
-
Saturday morning at 8:30, in a suburban park.
Ye Zhan and Tian Ying arrived early and waved to Lin Fei and Liang Yanzhe when they saw them.
"Teacher Liang, Mrs. Liang, over here!" Tian Ying was still holding breakfast in her hand. "The shumai near my house is super delicious, so I brought you some. Try it."
"Thank you." Lin Fei was still a little dazed. It wasn't that he hadn't slept enough; it was just that he hadn't gotten up this early in a long time, and he was feeling a bit out of it.
On the other side, Director Song and his family of three arrived, along with his two students; the others were on duty and couldn't come.
Lin Fei then noticed that Liang Yanzhe's three students were also not there.
Being a doctor is really tough; even team building activities are hard to get everyone together.
"Do we need to buy ingredients?" Lin Fei remembered that today was for an outdoor barbecue.
Tian Ying leaned closer and whispered, "The pharmaceutical representatives are all ready. We can just go over there."
"Is this... okay?" Lin Fei had never been involved in this kind of thing before and didn't know how the two sides would get along.
Tian Ying: "Actually, we are their customers, and they need to maintain customer relationships; it's part of their job."
Lin Fei nodded, half-understanding.
The group arrived at the campsite halfway up the mountain, where five people from a pharmaceutical company had already prepared the food.
The leading regional manager smiled and said, "Director Song, Director Liang, you've arrived."
The regional manager came over and shook hands with them, and Director Song introduced them to the group.
In return, the regional manager called over four other colleagues.
Lin Fei had attended many such occasions when he worked at Haishi Game Company. In the past, as the project's lead writer, he had to stand in front of his colleagues and be responsible for socializing. Now it's much better; he can sit quietly behind Liang Yanzhe, eat his food, and listen to them chat about interesting things.
Since it was a semi-formal occasion, gossip was definitely not allowed. They could only talk about topics that wouldn't offend anyone, which made Lin Fei drowsy.
The regional manager kept chatting with the two directors, and Lin Fei couldn't get a word in edgewise. Ye Zhan came over and asked her to go for a walk nearby.
Lin Fei took a slice of toasted bread, then got up and left.
"As expected of my best ally, I could tell I couldn't sit still for long in that kind of situation." Lin Fei finished the last bite of bread and clasped his hands in a fist salute to Ye Zhan.
Tian Ying: "Teacher's wife has misunderstood. It was the teacher who sent us a message asking us to take you out for a walk."
"Ah..." Lin Fei and Liang Yanzhe barely interacted today. Not only today, but they had also had little conversation in the past few days, just a few everyday words.
"Teacher's wife...did you and the teacher have a fight?" Ye Zhan asked cautiously. "Is it okay to ask that?"
"Whether you should ask or not, you've already asked, haven't you?" Lin Fei nudged Ye Zhan's arm with his elbow. "Let's be more honest with each other."
Tian Ying also noticed: "Is it... very noisy? But I find it hard to imagine the teacher arguing. Although he is usually strict, he will still speak to us gently as long as we correct our mistakes in time."
Lin Fei was a little stumped.
Even if they didn't argue, it's obvious to anyone with eyes that there's a problem between them. They did argue, but they didn't say a single harsh word to each other.
Even last night before bed, when he kissed her, she didn't push him away.
"Hmm..." Lin Fei paused for a long time, "I don't know either."
Tian Ying raised her hand: "I understand! This is called the calm before the storm."
Lin Fei laughed: "That makes a lot of sense. Do you know how to avoid a storm cloud attack?"
She's really bad at handling arguments, especially with people she's close to.
“It depends on the person. I don’t avoid arguments,” Ye Zhan said. “I might think there’s no problem, but the other person might not think so. We can have an argument, talk it out, and find a solution together.”
Tian Ying slapped Ye Zhan hard on the back: "You're such a straight man. Your ex-girlfriend must have raised you badly. Do you think we're doing scientific research? You think arguing a few times will lead to a conclusion? Arguing too much will only weaken your relationship. Of course, you should avoid it if you can."
Lin Fei shook his head helplessly.
See? No one can give a standard answer.
Lin Fei didn't want to talk about relationships for the time being, so she asked him about some gossip from their hospital.
With only the three of them present and no other tourists around, the two spoke much more boldly.
"What kind of person is Dr. Liang at work?" Lin Fei asked, only to realize that this was the first time she had taken the initiative to ask someone else about Liang Yanzhe.
She couldn't help but wonder if she had been neglecting him before.
Tian Ying smiled as she recounted her application process: "When choosing a supervisor for graduate school, I originally wanted to apply to another professor, but my grades weren't quite up to par, and he politely declined. However, the rejection came quite late; the other professors I wanted to apply to were already full. Only Professor Liang had an opening. I spent an entire night researching his academic credentials, and the more I looked, the more I frowned. His resume was so impressive it seemed almost fake, and I even suspected he was just a pretty face with no substance. For example, he had published in prestigious journals but was actually just the corresponding author. But I had no other choice, so I nervously submitted my application. However, after being accepted and getting to know Professor Liang, I discovered that he has a lot of personal charm. He's a well-rounded individual, excelling in both research and practical skills. From him, I not only learned professional knowledge but also a lot about interpersonal relationships. Perhaps because we were Professor Liang's first graduate students, he was very patient with us."
Ye Zhan's journey in the first half was similar to Tian Ying's. Almost all the graduate students in their year had followed Liang Yanzhe because they couldn't choose their preferred professors. Everyone was very fortunate now. Although the research pressure was high, the atmosphere in the group was good. After all, there is research pressure everywhere, and a research group with a good atmosphere and unity is hard to come by.
"Teacher's wife, I'm curious about what you think about the nine-year age difference between you and Teacher Liang." Tian Ying got into the conversation and became much more open, daring to ask anything.
Ye Zhan was also curious: "Everyone was surprised to learn that you two are an older man and a younger woman."
"An old man and a young woman?" Lin Fei laughed. "Don't make Dr. Liang sound old. He's only in his early thirties. I've never thought about any of this. It's not important to me."
She couldn't directly say that she liked mature and stable men, and Liang Yanzhe was the perfect fit.
This was agreed upon before the marriage; we can't talk about their affairs with outsiders.
Tian Ying and Ye Zhan's eyes sparkled.
"You two are so loving."
"Another day of eating dog food (a Chinese slang term for witnessing public displays of affection)."
"That's too exaggerated." Lin Fei took a step outside. "You two, be normal."
The two men surrounded Lin Fei, each holding one of her arms.
“Teacher’s wife, Teacher Liang is easy to coax, so please don’t stay at a stalemate.”
"Yes, the two of us can help you break the ice."
Lin Fei finally understood; they had been chatting all the way here, and he was waiting for her.
She asked, "Why don't you go and persuade Liang Yanzhe to coax me?"
"Of course it's because we have a better relationship with our teacher's wife," Tian Ying said sweetly.
Ye Zhan followed closely behind: "Yes, you are gentle, beautiful and understanding."
"I got goosebumps," Lin Fei said, rubbing his arms exaggeratedly.
Tian Ying sighed: "Actually... Professor Liang hasn't been doing well lately. It's not to put pressure on you, Professor's wife, but we students all hope he's doing well, so I'm taking the liberty of talking to you about this today."
Ye Zhan winked at Tian Ying: "Alright, it's about time. Let's head back."
Lin Fei released the two and continued walking forward.
“I want to go to the pavilion at the top of the mountain.” She turned around and walked backwards. “When you get back, tell Liang Yanzhe that I am alone on the mountain and that you two are lost and can’t find me.”
"Teacher's wife, we'll get scolded." Tian Ying clasped her hands together. "Please have mercy on us."
Ye Zhan also wore a bitter expression: "Master's wife, please have mercy."
"Alright, just tell him I twisted my ankle and can't walk, and that I'll wait for him to pick me up at the top of the mountain." Lin Fei waved and strode forward.
On the way back, the two plotted for a long time, trying to find a solution that would satisfy both sides.
Finally, Ye Zhan was pushed out.
He walked hesitantly to Liang Yanzhe's side and whispered, "Teacher Liang, are you free now? Your wife went to the mountaintop to play by herself and didn't let us follow, but we're worried. Would you like to go and check on her?"
Liang Yanzhe stood up, and everyone else looked over.
"Excuse me, my wife asked me to come over. You two can continue your conversation." He nodded and smiled.
Ye Zhan and Tian Ying watched Liang Yanzhe's departing figure, exchanged a glance, and asked each other with their eyes if everything would be alright.
"Never mind, let's leave it at that!" Tian Ying waved her hand dismissively. "We've done our best."
"...We should tell Teacher Liang's wife that he's been so busy at work lately that he's forgotten to eat, and his stomach problems have flared up several times. He even had to go to the emergency room for an IV drip the day before yesterday." Ye Zhan sighed twice.
Tian Ying shook her head: "The teacher forbids us from saying it, so we shouldn't say it carelessly either. What if our teacher's wife feels guilty because of our inappropriate wording?"
"Yeah, forget it, I don't want to think about it anymore." Ye Zhan walked towards the barbecue grill, trying to keep himself busy and distract himself.
-
Lin Fei sat on a bench in the pavilion on the mountaintop, overlooking the beautiful scenery of half of Jiangdu City. Unfortunately, he could not see Chunxi River from here, only the riverbank and their residential area.
A gentle breeze lifted the bangs on her forehead.
Liang Yanzhe often fixed her bangs, and she felt tired for him, so she grew her own bangs with a V-shape.
She idly swung her legs, enjoying a moment of inner peace.
She did resist those chaotic feelings she had been experiencing lately, but it wasn't that she wanted to escape them. She just hadn't figured out how to balance the two complex emotions of fear of falling into a trap and being unable to help but fall deeply in love.
She wasn't good at handling these kinds of feelings, so she made a terrible decision—to hand them over to Liang Yanzhe.
When Liang Yanzhe arrived, Lin Fei was just getting up.
"You've arrived. There's a temple over there. Would you like to go take a look?" she asked with a smile.
He was in such a hurry that his chest heaved, and to avoid revealing his anxiety, he didn't speak, but instead nodded slightly in acceptance of her invitation.
"I've always heard people say this temple is quite effective, but it varies from person to person. I don't know if it's good or bad for us to go pray there." Lin Fei walked up to Liang Yanzhe. "Are we still going?"
Liang Yanzhe: "What do you want?"
Lin Fei smiled and said, "May the Bodhisattva bless us with happiness and fulfillment, may my business prosper, and may you get a promotion at work."
"Don't bother with the first one, the others are fine." Liang Yanzhe walked to Lin Fei's side. "Let's go."
Lin Fei followed, puzzled, and asked, "Why didn't you ask for the first one?"
Liang Yanzhe pondered for a moment: "I won't be greedy, one wish is enough."
“Then we can abandon the last two and only ask for the first one.” Lin Fei looked at him. “How about it?”
“Unlike you, who prays with sincerity, what if we get a bad result?” he asked, looking at her.
Lin Fei walked up to Liang Yanzhe, blocking his way.
What would be the worst outcome for us?
"separate?"
"divorce?"
She asked him three questions in a row, so direct that they gripped his heart tightly.
"It's getting late, let's go back." A bitter feeling welled up in Liang Yanzhe's heart, and he avoided her question.
He turned around, and she quickly stepped forward, blocking his way once again.
“Liang Yanzhe…don’t you think our current relationship has strayed from our original intention?” Lin Fei looked up at him, her eyes full of stubbornness.
"Lin Fei, you really are... a very self-centered person when it comes to relationships." Liang Yanzhe's tone was light, without any accusation. "When I asked you, you easily avoided the question by saying you were tired, so I couldn't press you further. But when I tried to avoid it, you kept coming back. Are you sure you want to talk? Can you give me the answer I want?"
"If this isn't the answer you're looking for, then we're done?" Lin Fei pressed. "Is that right?"
Liang Yanzhe remained silent for a long time.
The sun was already setting in the west, casting long shadows of them on the cobblestone path.
Liang Yanzhe lowered his gaze and asked gently, "Let's talk again next time, okay?"
"Can't it be today?" Lin Fei finally mustered up the courage to face the question.
Liang Yanzhe stepped forward, pulled her into his arms, and whispered in her ear, "No, I'm afraid that after we finish talking, I'll never have the right to hold you again."
"Why?" Lin Fei asked, puzzled.
They clearly wanted to hug and kiss each other.
Liang Yanzhe: "Because our emotional needs are not equal."
Lin Fei, I've fallen hopelessly in love with you.
But what about you?
They must be terrified of falling into their trap.
He didn't want to lose control in front of her, and he didn't want to hurt her, fearing that his unwavering love would become distorted.
Lin Fei raised his hands, which were hanging at his sides, and gently placed them behind his back.
She wondered if there was something she hadn't done well enough.
She's put in so much effort, doesn't that meet his expectations of being cared for and liked?
Liang Yanzhe took Lin Fei's hand, and the two went down the mountain together.
When they arrived at the meeting point at the foot of the mountain, Tian Ying and Ye Zhan walked over, glancing repeatedly at Lin Fei, wanting to ask how things were going, but not daring to, for fear that Liang Yanzhe would discover something amiss.
On his way home, Lin Fei sent a message in the group chat.
I don't understand Dr. Liang: [Dr. Liang won't let me comfort him, that's the current situation.]
You two must love each other until you grow old (Tian Ying): [When a teacher's wife comforts someone, she does so directly, not by asking if the other person can comfort her.]
If you're not the real ones, then I'm the fake one. (Ye Zhan): [Master's wife, your methods for handling emotional issues are unlike anything I've ever seen before. I admire you.]
I don't understand Dr. Liang: "Forget it, it'll probably get better in a couple of days."
Tian Ying couldn't hold back any longer: "Madam, I'm really worried that Professor Liang won't be able to hold on. He's been on IV drips for the past few days; his stomach problem is very serious, and he has to take medication every day."
Ye Zhan nudged Tian Ying, who was standing next to her: "Didn't you say not to tell your teacher's wife? Not only did you tell her, but you also made it sound serious."
"Sorry, we're just a small workshop that uses a lot of materials." Tian Ying didn't care anymore.
Lin Fei was stunned after reading the message.
Reflecting on whether he had been too negligent towards Liang Yanzhe recently, he realized that he hadn't even noticed anything amiss with him.
Relationship problems can be sorted out gradually, but illness cannot.
After returning home, Lin Fei pretended to play with Shunshun, but secretly observed Liang Yanzhe. After taking a shower, he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and then went upstairs to the study.
Lin Fei put Shunshun down and quietly went upstairs.
The study was soundproofed even better than the bedroom; Lin Fei couldn't hear anything coming from inside and wondered if he had taken his medication.
After agonizing for a few minutes on the second-floor balcony, Lin Fei knocked on the study door.
Thinking wildly and internally will not get you anywhere; you might as well just ask him directly.
Liang Yanzhe opened the door for Lin Fei.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Lin Fei glanced inside and saw that the solid wood desk was full of materials, but there were no suspicious medicine bottles.
"Come in?" Liang Yanzhe made room for him.
Lin Fei entered the room.
This seemed to be her first time stepping into Liang Yanzhe's study. The main reason he didn't have the chance to come was that he used it infrequently. He would only come back after completing most of his work at the hospital, and at home he would at most look at surgical data and student papers.
Before she could explain her purpose, the sudden ringing of her cell phone shattered the silence.
It was different from his usual ringtone.
Even she doesn't have a special ringtone, so whose phone is calling?
Liang Yanzhe stood there for a while before walking to the desk, picking up the phone that was charging, and putting it to his ear. His voice turned cold.
"Grandma is in the hospital? Does she need me to go back?"
"Xiao Yi isn't here?"
"I have to go back?"
"knew."
Liang Yanzhe's expression became subtle, and Lin Fei did not miss the irritation that flashed across his face.
-----------------------
Author's Note: The next few chapters will probably delve into Dr. Liang's past [please] He's not far from going insane (just kidding).
Still 66, love you all!
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