3.003 Returning from Ningjin
"Dad, have dinner here. I'll make you a bowl of noodles so you can eat before you go back," Su Yu interrupted the old man's lecture.
Su Changguo glanced at her and said gruffly, "I'm not eating. Your mother made food for me." He saw that it was getting late and, after confirming that his little girl was alright, he planned to go back. "Don't mention the divorce again. Don't hide if you've been bullied. If you're not feeling well, rest for a few more days. Xiao Yuan will stay with us for a few days."
Su Yu didn't answer. She went inside and found Xu Yuan's clothes, then took them out and gave them to her father. "These are that boy's clothes. Take them to him. I'll go pick him up after I've rested."
"Did you hear what I said?" Su Changguo wouldn't let her interrupt; he insisted on hearing a definite answer.
"I heard you, I heard you. You'd better hurry back, or it'll be dark." Su Yu suppressed a laugh and pushed the old man out the door. Hearing it didn't mean he agreed.
Standing at the door, watching him walk out of the alley and about to turn the corner, Su Yu stopped and looked back. She waved to him, urging him to hurry up.
Something felt off, Su Changguo muttered to himself as he turned around.
After seeing no one, Su Yu went inside and closed the door. She took a couple of steps, then turned back and bolted the door shut. She looked at her hands; the intimate gesture she had just made was so natural, without the slightest awkwardness, as if she had done it a thousand times before. She breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't difficult at all. This father was much easier to get along with than her own.
She first hung up the sheets and clothes to dry, then carried the quilt to the bed and laid it out. She took out clean sheets from the trunk and smoothed them out. She hurriedly left the bedroom, went into the kitchen, fried two eggs, and cooked some noodles. There wasn't even a scallion in the house. When Ning Jin wasn't home, she didn't buy groceries or cook. She would bring food home from the canteen, which was very economical.
Even when the sun sets late in summer, darkness will eventually fall. Su Yu burned some mugwort and sat in the yard, listening to the neighbors gradually quiet down. After the last child fell asleep, she looked at the moon and stars in the sky and had no reason not to go back inside to sleep.
She glanced at the little black dog lying under the eaves, thought it over and over but still didn't bring it inside. Instead, she went inside, grabbed the rope on the wall by the door, and the dim light bulb illuminated the room. She closed the door behind her, sat on the bed, took off her clothes, lay down, and left the light bulb above the bed untouched. She simply closed her eyes and went to sleep.
With her eyes closed, her hearing seemed to improve. The male head of the household next door on the right must have a problem with his throat; he had to clear his throat every now and then. In the past, she would have frowned in disgust at such a coughing sound, but now she actually fell asleep to it.
She suddenly woke up with a start, the sheet covering her head, probably because she was asleep and found the light too bright. She was covered in sweat. The sound that woke her wasn't from her dream; it was still ringing. It sounded like rats were gnawing on the bricks inside the wall. She wasn't sure if the rats' teeth hitting the bricks was the sound of them knocking on the wall, but what she heard now sounded like a rhythmic knocking sound.
At that moment, she was most grateful that the house had electricity. The dim light gave her the courage to move. She rolled out of bed and kicked the wall, cursing in a hoarse voice, "How dare you disturb my sleep! Tomorrow I'll buy rat poison to kill you all."
"Woof~" A childish bark came from outside, and the sound from the crack in the top wall suddenly disappeared. Su Yu gritted her teeth and kicked the wall again. "Damn rats." Her tense body finally relaxed. It seemed that rats really were adding food to their night meal.
Afterwards, she went back to bed. Even after the man next door stopped clearing his throat, she couldn't sleep. She lay there with her eyes open, observing the things bathed in the light: cobweb-covered walls, moths swarming around the light bulb…
The sound rang out again, and without hesitation, she raised her leg and slammed it against the bed. The wooden bed made a dull thud, and the sound stopped again.
Su Yu wasn't exactly timid. As a single woman, she had lived alone for over a decade and often worked overtime, returning home late at night. She would walk through deserted streets with a razor blade in her hand. She had never been afraid when sleeping alone in hotels while traveling for business or leisure. Before she died and came back to life, she was a staunch atheist, scoffing at all supernatural phenomena. But when she was reborn in a different body, her beliefs crumbled, and she began to doubt things she had never believed in before. "Su Yu" left this room, and although she was wearing "her" body, she still felt uneasy.
She suppressed the urge to run away and burn the bed. Compared to this body, the room was insignificant. It was strange and ridiculous to be using someone else's body and complaining about their bed.
The sounds from inside the wall seemed to be working against her, starting whenever she felt sleepy. She didn't know how many times she had banged on the bed. She could faintly hear a rooster crowing in the distance, each crowing louder than the last. The rooster's crowing was more effective than the man next door clearing his throat. The rats started gnawing on the bricks again. Su Yu stopped banging on the bed with a heart full of worry, glanced at the dim night outside the window, and closed her eyes to sleep.
When Su Yu woke up again, the sun was already shining into the room. She habitually reached for her phone to check the time, but after touching it a couple of times, she realized she had traveled back to the 1970s. She didn't even have a watch, and there wasn't a clock in the house. After getting dressed, she turned off the light that was still on, opened the door, and said to the dog wagging its tail at the door, "Are you hungry? I'm hungry too. I'll cook right away."
The cupboard contained rice, flour, noodles, and five eggs. Su Yu, carrying a basket, rummaged through the house to find some money and coupons to buy groceries at the supply and marketing cooperative. Before leaving, she curiously examined the money and coupons. The one-cent coins felt light and flimsy, the one-cent banknotes were a dull yellow color with a truck carrying goods printed on them, the two-cent banknotes were bluish with an airplane printed on them, and the five-cent banknotes were light green with a ship printed on them. Did this represent land, sea, and air? Su Yu wondered to herself.
She remembered seeing one, two, or five cents in a drawer at home when she was little, but since she couldn't buy snacks, she just glanced at it and threw it back. When she grew up, these old banknotes appreciated in value, and that half-drawer of old banknotes disappeared. Her father even complained to her mother about it, saying that she didn't collect things and was destined to be rich.
Having endured the night, she felt much lighter. She wasn't afraid of the unseen anymore, and she believed she could adapt to this new era. On her way to the supply and marketing cooperative, she curiously observed the elderly and children lining the roadside. A woman emerged from a residential building carrying a small bucket with a lid; Su Yu glanced at her as she entered the public toilet—presumably to empty the waste. A man rode a large bicycle on the road. She noticed that every time he pedaled, his toes left the pedal. Was he short, or was the bicycle too tall? But he stood ramrod straight, and upon noticing her gaze, he proudly raised his head.
Indeed, owning a bicycle in this era is no less valuable than driving a Ferrari in her time.
She bought three cucumbers, two potatoes, and a bunch of chives for only eight cents and a ration coupon. Su Yu looked for the seven yuan in her pocket, walked out of the supply and marketing cooperative, and then went back in to buy a bone. At this time, if there was still meat left, it must not be good meat. It looked like a bone from the side of a pig's neck. If it wasn't cooked well, it would taste bad. But she hadn't eaten meat for two days. She recalled that "Su Yu" had eaten two pieces of lean meat when Ning Jin was at home half a month ago. No wonder she was so tempted by meat.
She had found a reason for herself and readily handed the money to the salesperson.
After she left, a woman in a corner of the supply and marketing cooperative pulled aside the egg vendor next door and said, "Did you see that woman who just bought bones? She's my neighbor. She remarried, brought her son with her, and even had her husband buy her a job. The day before yesterday, the guy she brought had a fight with her stepson, and both boys ran away. Now she's all alone at home, and she's started eating alone. Tsk, she's been pretending to be a good stepmother for half a year. Now I've finally caught her red-handed."
"That's probably because her two sons are coming back. Now that the children aren't home, who would be willing to cut off a piece of meat to eat?" The woman rolled her eyes inwardly. She was working next to Du Xiaojuan. Everyone knew what kind of person she was, even herself. She was a typical example of someone who couldn't see the shit on her own ass but always found fault with others.
Du Xiaojuan choked for a moment, thinking that Ping An would always come back within two nights after visiting his maternal grandparents' house, and it was quite possible that the two boys had returned. Su Yu was good at putting on a show, always saying that she would give the two boys the best food first. She was such a good actress. If she didn't tell anyone about these family matters, who would know? So she always firmly believed that Su Yu was a sweet-faced but bitter-hearted vixen.
Su Yu went back and ate a meal that was neither breakfast nor lunch. After washing the dishes and feeding the dog, she went out for a stroll. Since she was planning to get a divorce anyway, the two children wouldn't come back to live with her. She was too lazy to wash and dry the sheets and blankets in their room. Going to clean clothes required going to the weir, which not only made her legs go numb from squatting, but also caused her clothes and pants to get half wet from carrying the basket.
I spent most of the day wandering around the streets and alleys, using my eyes to see and my brain to remember the routes, no longer mechanically trying to understand the commune based on my memory as I did yesterday.
She got hungry again in the late afternoon and started walking back. As soon as she entered the alley, she saw a man standing at the door, taking out his key to unlock it. She composed herself, swallowed her shock, and looked up again, meeting his gaze as he was about to close the door.
He has a square face, but not a strictly square face. His chin is well-shaped, which makes him look upright and dignified without being dull.
"Why are you leaving get off work so early?"
"Why are you back today?"
The two spoke at the same time. Su Yu smiled, walked towards him, and followed him into the house. "I wasn't supposed to be back for another three or four days, so I was a little startled to see someone opening the door." Su Yu spoke first, trying to cover up her earlier unease.
“I’m back first. I’ll ask Lao Xie to run the bus to Zao County for me. Where are Ping’an and Xiao Yuan? I hope nothing happened at home. The day before yesterday, when I was eating lunch, my bowl suddenly broke halfway through. I was really worried. There wasn’t even a crack in the bowl when I picked it up. It just broke out of nowhere. I was afraid it was a bad omen, so I took a bus back yesterday. Where are Ping’an and Xiao Yuan? I hope nothing happened at home. Why are you back so early today?” He asked again, his face serious.
The day before yesterday at noon, right when "Su Yu" had the accident, she glanced at him and said, "Ping An and Xiao Yuan are at their respective maternal grandmothers' houses, and nothing happened at their homes. It was me who had the accident, but I've recovered."
"You're in trouble? What happened? Did you get bullied and lose your job?" This explained why she was still at home in the middle of the afternoon, and at the same time, she breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness, she only lost her job.
The tension in his eyes was undeniable. "Su Yu" was his wife, and he had the right to know. That's why she had concealed some things about herself and told him the whole story.
"Are you alright now? If you're not feeling well, I'll take you to the hospital for another checkup."
"You're perfectly healthy." Su Yu jumped up and down a couple of times to show him. His concern was genuine. At that moment, she truly felt sorry for him and "Su Yu." A man thousands of miles away felt anxious and had a telepathic connection when she died. Whether it was love or family affection, it was all incredibly precious.
She, who doesn't believe in love and is unwilling to get married, suddenly became sentimental, and didn't know how to bring up the topic of divorce that was on the tip of her tongue.
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