82.082 Suffering, being scolded, and being disliked
"Grandpa, my mom asked you to prepare a letter of introduction. She'll take you to Jincheng for acupuncture in a couple of days," Xiao Yuan said to his grandpa, who was brewing medicine. His mom had told him about it several days ago, but his grandpa only came today.
Old Su thought of his increasingly dejected wife at home, and knowing that the outcome would be soon, he didn't want to give her time to adjust. He told Xiao Yuan, "Tell your mother to go in a while. My sheep are about to give birth, so I can't leave. Besides, I'm fine now and don't feel uncomfortable. Going in a while won't make a difference."
Xiao Yuan told his mother that night. Su Yu couldn't figure out if the old man had become complacent because his health had improved. Two days later, she went home early when she had less to do and rode her bike directly to her parents' house. Before she even entered the house, she heard the old man's loud voice.
"What are you doing at my house in broad daylight? Go back to your son's place."
Su Yu didn't rush in; she leaned against the door and waited.
Inside the house, Yu Anxiu ignored the old man's words telling her to leave and went into the kitchen to boil water with a bitter face.
"What are you doing? Is it because your son isn't feeding you and you're coming here to cook for him?" Old Man Su asked as he followed him inside.
"I'll boil water to wash my hair, otherwise I'll get lice and pass them on to you." Yu Anxiu lit the fire and stuffed rice straw into the stove hole.
"Oh dear, you have to come all the way back to wash your hair? Is your son preventing you from boiling water or using smelly soap? What? You're only being looked down upon now that the rice, flour, and cooking oil are all gone?"
He could hear everything that happened next door. From the very beginning, when the old woman came over, Mei Danan's voice was still cheerful. He deliberately gave her rice and flour, just so that Mei Danan would smile at the old woman. What she longed for was to be surrounded by her children and grandchildren, and he wanted to fulfill that wish for her.
Winter is a little better. There's not much work to do, everyone's idle, and there's plenty of rice and grain. With full bellies, there are even people making shoes for the children. It's a win-win situation for everyone.
After spring arrived, Rongbing and Mei Danan went to the fields to earn work points. Every day they were digging and carrying manure, the work was dirty and tiring, and neither of them had a good temper. When they came home and saw their wives resting at home, they were always rude and hostile. At first, they made her go out to dig wild vegetables and pull weeds in the vegetable garden. When she saw that he didn't react, they became even more outrageous and dragged his wife to the vegetable garden to dig and prepare to plant vegetables.
She used to cook at home, but perhaps because they thought she was too old and weak, Mei Danan had her eldest daughter cook while she tended the fire. Now, the work in the fields is increasing every day, and her capable grandchildren are also working in the fields. The laundry, cooking, and feeding the chickens and ducks all fall on her shoulders. If she doesn't do it well, she gets scolded. Her precious son and grandson don't dare to utter a sound when they see her being scolded like a dog.
Yu Anxiu seemed to have her throat blocked, not saying a word, while the old man laughed at her to his heart's content. She scooped water to wash her hair after the water boiled, and went inside to get the shampoo powder her little daughter had bought for her. She was now glad that she hadn't moved in with them, so that her shampoo powder, toothpaste, toothbrush, and other things hadn't been stolen.
"Your skin is getting thicker and thicker. It's a good thing I don't associate with you, or I wouldn't get any good out of it either." Receiving no response, Old Man Su stopped his taunts. His punches landed on cotton, and the person who threw them didn't feel good either.
Su Yu only went in after hearing no more movement from inside. "Mom's here too," she greeted, her words leaving Yu Anxiu speechless, making her seem like the hostess and herself like a guest.
"What are you doing here?" she retorted.
Su Yu glanced at her in surprise. Her father had just ripped her skin off and she hadn't uttered a sound, but now that he saw his daughter, she was getting fierce.
She noticed the old man's wink and roughly understood what he meant. She added fuel to the fire, "I'm taking my dad out for dinner. I bought some pork belly, and we'll stew it with ham tomorrow."
Yu Anxiu's mouth watered. She had only tasted meat once during the Chinese New Year. In the past four or five months, the most satisfying meal she had was at the beginning of winter when she ate at her youngest brother's house. It was a kind of ham made from pork leg, and it tasted so fresh and delicious.
After Su Yu finished speaking, she went into the house with the old man. Every time she came over, she would tidy up the house for the old couple. They were old and lazy, and sometimes they would leave dust on the floor without sweeping it, and they would leave their clothes on the chairs after wearing them for two days without drying or washing them.
“Your eldest and third sisters came before. They’ve already put away their winter clothes and aired out their spring clothes, so you don’t need to go through them again,” Old Man Su said, sitting at the doorway.
Hearing this, Su Yu stopped moving. She swept every nook and cranny with a broom, added more firewood to the pot to keep it warm, and made several pancakes by mixing batter.
"Cook some more porridge tonight, don't just drink boiled water and eat flatbread to save time." Su Yu was about to leave when she noticed the old lady sitting in the yard drying her hair and staring at her. She pretended not to see her and instructed the old man, "Dad, go early tomorrow evening. After dinner, I'll bring you back before it gets dark."
"I'm dead?" Yu Anxiu couldn't hold back any longer. She kicked herself up from the chair, pointed at her own nose, and shouted, "Your mother is dead? Didn't you see me sitting here? I gave birth to you, you should be the one supporting me, you should be the one being filial to me, and you only think about your father when you're eating meat and drinking soup?"
Tsk, that's so irritable.
Su Yu glanced at the old man's stern face and said, "My father told the four of us sisters that he would be raised by us, and you would be raised by my brother. It's not our responsibility." It's best to push this kind of thing onto the old man so that he won't hold a grudge against her daughter later when they make up.
"And I heard that you've been eating meat and drinking soup at my brother's house for the past few months without ever thinking about my dad."
“Go back and don’t waste your breath on her. She’s twisted and won’t listen to you even if you talk until your mouth bleeds.” Old Man Su took out two newly made brooms from the shed where the coffins were kept. “Here, take them back and use them. They’re newly made this year.”
"Okay, I'll head back now." Su Yu took the bag and left.
After Su Yu left, the old lady's pent-up anger deflated, especially when faced with the old man's stern face.
"You deserve to be tormented by your daughter-in-law." Old Su said with satisfaction, "You deserve it. You get angry when she's nice to you, and you don't dare to utter a sound when she treats you like an old donkey. I've finally seen through you. Marrying a daughter-in-law like this is pure retribution. A mother-in-law like you deserves a daughter-in-law like this to discipline her."
"Isn't the girl my daughter? If I did, she should be filial to me."
"Come on, your son is your own flesh and blood. Do you think he'll eat more rice if you keep getting scolded like this? Get out, get out! From now on, you live with your son, and I'll live with my daughter. Don't talk to me. I'm already annoyed just looking at you like that." Old Man Su held back for a while, but still couldn't bring himself to take her bedding away. Now that he was kicking her out, he would also have to take away the new quilt his daughter had made for her parents.
Yu Anxiu didn't lose her temper in front of the old man. She walked out, but turned around at the door and said, "Don't forget to ask the youngest son to take you to see a doctor."
Don't worry about my affairs.
She spent half the day working on this task, but she hadn't finished her work on the other side. When Mei Danan came back from her work and saw that she was still washing vegetables and the pot wasn't even heated yet, she immediately lost her temper.
"Mom, why can't you be more understanding of us? We're exhausted, just hoping to come back and have a hot meal to keep us alive. You haven't cooked any porridge or steamed any cornbread. When will we finally get to eat? In the middle of the night?" Mei Danan was shaking and banging around in the yard, which startled the three hens, who also started squawking loudly.
"Are you going to die? You're all just babbling away, doing nothing but wasting my grain. One day I'll get really angry and pluck your feathers and put you in the pot." She got angry thinking about how she hadn't even put the rice in the porridge or kneaded the cornmeal yet. She picked up a hoe and was about to smash the chickens, yelling, "Useless chickens deserve to die."
Yu Anxiu was initially guilty, but after hearing this tirade, she became even angrier. When she was alone with her husband, there were never so many problems. If she didn't want to wash clothes, she would just pile them up and wait for one of her daughters to come and wash them. Now, she had to wash the clothes of their entire family.
“Rongbing, Dani is all grown up now, she should do some chores. You can’t leave all the clothes for your whole family to me to wash. I’m old and weak. I can’t even get the clothes you and Danian did chores clean properly even if I scrub them until my skin is raw. This afternoon I spent half the day washing clothes and didn’t have time to cook.” She complained to her son, hoping to get some comfort.
"Oh, so you're blaming my daughter again? How old are you? You're just over seventy. My aunt is seventy-eight and still digging in the fields. If you can't work at home, come to the fields tomorrow. I'll stay home and do the laundry and cooking." Mei Danan shouted like a rooster with a hoarse voice.
Yu Anxiu looked at her son stubbornly, wanting him to say a word for her.
“Mom, Da Nan is right. My aunt is still digging in the field today. Before you came to live with me, she also farmed her own plot of land. She just washes clothes. There’s no oil or water, just dirt and dust. If you can’t scrub them clean, you soak them for a while and pound them with a stick a few more times.”
Upon hearing her son's words, Yu Anxiu immediately felt ten years older. She stammered, "Your aunt's son is dead. I have a son. I'm counting on you to take care of me in my old age, not to be busy and tired in my old age. I didn't make you do any work when you were little."
Su Rongbing didn't dare look his mother in the eye, nor did he scold his grumbling wife. He pointed at Da Ni and said, "Don't run around tomorrow. Help your grandma with the chores at home."
“I wasn’t running around aimlessly. I was digging for vegetables, collecting firewood, and picking up cow dung. I earned work points.” With her mother around, Da Ni glared at her grandmother and muttered under her breath, “She really thinks she’s some kind of landlady.”
"How did I become a landlord's wife?" Yu Anxiu, with her sharp ears, immediately retorted loudly upon hearing her eldest granddaughter's grumbling.
"What are you doing, putting on airs with my daughter? You're not acting like a grandmother at all, taking your anger out on your granddaughter. You're not even human, and you're even slandering the child. What granddaughter would call her grandmother a landlord? Don't drag my daughter into this mess with your own brain." Mei Danan immediately put her hands on her hips and scolded, not giving this old woman a chance to show off her power.
“Rongbing, you’re standing right next to Da Ni, do you think Da Ni said anything?” Yu Anxiu grabbed her son, trying to restrain her daughter-in-law as well.
"Mom, let's cook. It's getting late, and I'm hungry." Su Rongbing didn't interrupt, giving his mother a way out. If she continued to make a fuss, things wouldn't be pleasant, and she still wanted to stay here.
Yu Anxiu was dejected. She walked towards the kitchen. At this moment, she thought of the old man who was red-faced with anger. Yes, the daughter-in-law's heart was with the outside world, while the son's heart was with his wife. Who would listen to your reasoning and arguments? They were all in cahoots, sharing the same bed.
"I'll just make do with some boiled noodles for one night. I don't want to be hungry until the middle of the night," Mei Danan said from outside the kitchen door before dragging her family out to chat with others.
In this irregular little courtyard, apart from the firelight in the kitchen, there was only the intermittent clucking of the chickens in the coop.
They seemed to have a knack for timing; the food was just ready when they returned. They would light a kerosene lamp, sit in the main room, and eat their meals, their voices filled with slurping and complaints about not being full or not being able to see.
"Ugh—" Mei Danan pulled a strand of hair out of her mouth, shone it up to the kerosene lamp, and saw that it was a white hair. She immediately vomited. "You disgusting old geezer, you're so pathetic, your hair actually fell into your food."
She threw half a bowl of noodles at the person opposite her, pounded the table and said, "You can't even eat a meal in peace, what good are you? This time you're losing hair, next time will you be drooling and sniffling? You might as well die sooner, and I'll bury you properly before we have any grudges against you."
"I just washed my hair today, it's not dirty." Before Yu Anxiu could finish saying this, rice was splashed all over her face. She closed her eyes tightly, wiped off the rice, and then opened them in the dim firelight to see her son and grandson's disgusted faces. Their noses were hidden in the darkness, leaving only their bared teeth and protruding tongues.
Like a faceless monster, in the end all she heard was, "It would be better if she died sooner, then we can bury her properly since we have no grudges against her." And her son and grandson did not refute her. Did they all think that she should just die sooner?
The soup on her face dried, and she felt her face stiffen. Her hands trembled as she dropped the bowl and chopsticks, and a tear slid down her cheek. "I gave birth to a heartless monster, one that can't be warmed, one that can't be warmed."
"You even started smashing bowls! Look how spoiled you are."
"Shut up!" Su Rongbing shouted, chasing his wife, who had disappeared into the darkness, out of the house. "Mom, we haven't finished eating yet, and you're already going back?"
“Yes, I’m going home and I won’t come back.” Yu Anxiu looked up at the blurry figure in front of her. “I didn’t raise you to adulthood, I suffered, and you can’t run away from me now.”
"I've been taking care of you in your old age, why don't you come anymore? Da Nan may be sharp-tongued, but she's not a bad person. She just has a bad memory; she'll forget everything by tomorrow." Su Rongbing's mind was in turmoil; the old lady seemed genuinely heartbroken.
Yu Anxiu didn't respond; the image of that disgusted face with only its mouth and nose remaining in her mind still lingered. "I'm not coming back." She walked around him and groped her way back in the dark. "How did I end up giving birth to you? You must really be an enemy, and you've come here for revenge."
She asked herself a question and answered it herself. She finally realized that all her willingness was just that—willingness. Those who wouldn't appreciate it would never appreciate it, not even until death.
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