Chapter 52
At the end of the eleventh month of the lunar calendar, the fields were completely desolate and the first snow fell between heaven and earth. Gu Yan went to deliver the public grain and came back with a pair of pheasants.
"It's meat today, what do the kids want to eat?"
This weekend, the children are playing on the kang. I turned around and saw that the chickens in my mother's hands all jumped up one by one. "Mom makes soup for us."
"No soup, it tastes better braised."
The twins started to argue again. Gu Yan looked at the eldest daughter and said, "What about you? How do you want to eat them? Since there are two of them, mom can cook them in two different ways."
"I don't care. Anything is fine with me." The child smiled and pointed at the chicken and asked Niuniu, "How do you want to eat it? Soup or braised?"
"I'm the same as my sister." The little girl hugged her sister's neck and was affectionate with her in a coquettish manner.
"What about you, Mom? You're just being casual too, right?"
"Well, I'm just like the kids. They can do whatever they like."
"Okay. One for stewing and one for braising." Gu Yan took the chickens out to clean up. The twins both got what they wanted and continued to jump happily. The old lady laughed and reached out to pull him, "Stop jumping. If you collapse the kang again, your father will have to rebuild it again."
"It's okay. Just jump around as Dad said."
"Yes, Dad can fix it."
"Haha...just go find some trouble for your dad."
Xiaohua looked at her younger brother and sister with a hint of worry. On the surface, nothing seems to have changed, and Dad is still very good to them. She would teach them, pamper her younger siblings, and help her with her homework. It's only halfway through the semester, but she has already finished learning all the math for next semester. But she could feel that something was wrong with her parents. Ever since the Niu Niu incident, there was no longer that little spark between the two of them.
"You guys play by yourselves, I'm going to help mom wash the chicken."
"Okay, sister, you go ahead."
"Watch Niuniu, don't drop her, and don't snatch toys from her."
"I know. We are the older brother and sister. We won't fight with our younger sister."
After telling about the twins, Xiaohua turned and went to the ear room. Gu Yan had already killed the chicken and was squatting on the ground plucking its feathers.
"Mom, let me help you."
"No, the water is too hot, don't stretch your hand out. Your tender skin can't stand the temperature." Gu Yan turned his head and looked at his daughter who was squatting beside him, "What do you want to say to your mother?"
"Mom, did you have a fight with Dad? Was it just a fight?" After a fight, shouldn't you make peace with each other? The child didn't say this subtext, but she knew her mother would understand.
"Yeah, we're just having a quarrel." Gu Yan smiled, "Sometimes when expectations are too high, disappointment will strike."
"What's the meaning?"
"I just didn't find the right position. I had unrealistic fantasies, and then I was slapped in the face by reality."
"I still don't understand. It's normal for the father to be anxious because Niuniu is missing! He is a father after all! He must be very worried if his own child is missing. If he wasn't anxious, that would be... "
The child was so anxious that he didn't know what words to use. "Anyway, if that's the case, he wouldn't be a good father. It's normal for him to be anxious and say the wrong thing, but he apologized right away. Why are you still angry and taking so long?"
"Okay, my daughter is right." Gu Yan smiled, "Mom will take care of this matter, so don't worry about it. Go play with your brothers and sisters, and don't worry so much."
"Then don't be mad at dad. He's so... pathetic. He wants to talk to you but doesn't dare."
"Okay, Mommy got it."
Children are the most genuine and know who is good. Over the years, several children have heard rumors, but none of them have gone to find Han Lao Er. I will avoid it if I encounter it. But it has only been a short time since Li Zhongxia came to the scene, but she has already won the love of all the children. He is trying hard to fulfill his promise, so shouldn't I continue to be awkward?
How could she not understand something that even children understand? It was his own daughter who was lost, and he spoke without thinking in a panic, but he soon realized his mistake and apologized. It's not that he didn't approve of her feelings for Niu Niu, but as he said, it was a cliché between blood ties and emotions.
Unlimited trust takes time to accumulate and needs to be built up one thing at a time. They haven't been together for long, so it's understandable that they would fall into a cliché. No matter what happened, she wouldn't do better than him. In a reconstituted family, trust is built step by step. It is impossible to reach the goal in one step with anyone and transcend blood ties out of thin air.
I understand the truth, but I still feel wronged when I think about it. Gu Yan was helpless with himself. She has lived for so long, why is she starting to care about things like a child?
"It's all Li Zhongxia's fault. He said I could be a child. I'm just having a quarrel with him now."
"Is it just a quarrel?" Li Zhongxia came in through the curtain with a gentle expression. The look in his eyes as he looked at her was filled with anxiety. "I'm really wrong this time, please don't be angry. Or... just tell me how long I'm going to be angry. I feel really bad when you ignore me every day like this."
After the man finished speaking, he started to clean the pheasants in the big basin. Gu Yan half tilted his head back, saying nothing and ignoring him. But those clear eyes have already revealed her emotions.
After dinner, Li Zhongxia was about to wash the dishes, but Gu Yan reached out and stopped her. "You tell the children stories while I wash them."
"Let's talk after we clean up. You can play with them for a while. You are busy during the day and can only spend some time with the children at night."
Gu Yan nodded, put down the dishes and returned to the main room. Children are the most perceptive. They noticed that the atmosphere between their parents seemed to have returned to what it was before, and they all happily pestered their mother. The three little ones all stayed in their mother's arms, chatting for a while and then asked their mother to sing.
"Singing?"
"Mom, please sing it quickly. Sing the song you used to sing to put us to sleep at night."
"Stupid Leilei, that's a lullaby. You don't want to sleep now, why are you listening to a lullaby?" Xiaohua pointed at her brother and embarrassed him. Reach out and put away all the papers and pens on the table. Today's study ends here.
"My dearest baby, I want to cross the mountains to find the lost sun..."
Gu Yan was humming a song called "Kiss My Baby" by Wakin Chau. It has been a long time, and she can't remember the lyrics very clearly, but the love in the song has remained in her memory to this day.
"It's so beautiful. What song are you singing, mom?" Xiaohua is just at the age of a flower bud and has an instinctive yearning for beautiful things. My mother’s singing is full of love, and it makes people feel warm when they listen to it.
“It sounds good.”
"good."
After Li Zhongxia finished cleaning up and feeding the pigs, she lifted the curtain and came in just in time to see the children hugging their mother and asking her to sing a song again, or even once more.
"What do you want to sing? Do you need me to accompany you?"
"Dad, can you play accompaniment? What instrument do you use?" Xiaohua didn't even have a music teacher in her school. She saw her teacher playing the accordion once in the commune and she was so envious and fond of her. As soon as I heard my father wanted to play accompaniment, I quickly asked.
"I didn't bring the accordion back. The only thing I have at home is the harmonica."
"That's great, Dad, I want to learn."
"Okay. I'll teach you every night from now on."
The old lady on the kang smiled kindly: "Your father can also play the flute. He has been learning it since elementary school. But I haven't heard it for many years."
Li Zhongxia smiled and said, "Forget about the flute. It's not suitable nowadays. Dad will teach you to play the harmonica. If you can get an accordion, I'll teach you that. It's very simple and you can learn it in no time."
"Oh!" The little girl jumped off the kang and cheered, more excited than ever before. As a mother, Gu Yan was also happy for her child, just like how she felt when she had finally gotten the chance to practice martial arts.
Painting, calligraphy, and musical instruments. Next is playing chess, which completes the skills that the ancients must learn: music, chess, calligraphy, and painting.
"Dad, can you play chess?" As soon as Xiaohua asked, Gu Yan covered his forehead and laughed. This girl should have been born in ancient times and become a lady from a noble family who received family education since childhood.
"Yes. Do you want chess or go?"
“I want to learn all of them.”
"Okay, let's do it one by one." Li Zhongxia turned around and looked at the twins, who were one year older. "What about you two? Do you want to learn together?"
"Yes. My sister is teaching us how to draw. Dad, do you think my drawing is good?" The two little guys messed up the papers that Xiaohua had just put away and found their own doodles in them.
Li Zhongxia didn't mind getting bored. He took out a pen and began to teach the two children how to draw simple lines. Gu Yan put Niu Niu next to the old lady and reached out to take the clothes she was making.
"Don't do it. It's dark at night and it hurts my eyes." She glanced at the half-finished coat and stroked the embroidered bunny with a smile: "Mom, you have such a clever hand. The bunny is so vivid. I know why Li Zhongxia has so many embroidered bunnies. It's all inherited from you!"
The mother and son praised the old man together, and the old man was so happy that he couldn't stop smiling. It seems that the two children are fine, and she can sleep well today.
"Zhongxia has been smart since he was young. He learns quickly whatever the old scholar teaches him. He is also very hardworking. When he was practicing calligraphy, he wrote half a bucket of water on the wall every day. His wrists were so swollen that he couldn't even hold chopsticks. The patterns he drew for me are fresh and beautiful. Many women come to ask for them."
Now some people are looking for me. Gu Yan naturally knew about this. Turning around to look at the father and daughter who were seriously discussing Chinese painting and poetry, I once again sighed in my heart that they were born in the wrong era. What I like are these feudal, capitalist, and revisionist things, which I dare not show to others in this era.
Alas! Just wait, the spring of Chinese studies will come sooner or later. This is something our ancestors have studied for thousands of years and is the cultural heritage of a nation. Sooner or later, future generations will pay attention to it again.
Niu Niu went to bed early and yawned several times leaning against her mother. Gu Yan put his arms around his daughter and told his mother-in-law, "I'll hold her to sleep."
The old lady nodded and lowered her voice. "Go, sleep with the child and don't come over."
Xiaohua will take care of the twins, not to mention Li Zhongxia is here. Gu Yan nodded and carried the youngest one out of the room.
She went to the ear room, spread out the quilt on the kang, and put the little one into her own bed at the back. A large bluestone was placed next to the fire on the kang to prevent quilts from falling onto the fire at night.
When winter comes, we still have to light a fire on the kang in the ear room to cook, and the space available for sleeping is greatly reduced. Li Zhongxia was on the outermost side. She had ignored him recently, causing him to sleep on his side. I was afraid that sitting close to her would annoy her, and there was a large bluestone blocking the way outside, making it difficult to turn over at night.
The little one was asleep, and she sat in the quilt, wearing a cotton jacket, making new clothes for the children for the New Year. Li Zhongxia came in, poured water and washed her hands again, then took off her clothes, got on the kang, took the unfinished clothes in her hands and put them on a box beside her.
"Just now I told mom not to sew at night because the dark light hurts the eyes. Why are you doing it again? There are many people in the family, why don't you buy a sewing machine?"
"Forget it. Our team doesn't even have a sewing machine." The protruding rafters will rot first, so it's better to keep a low profile at a time like this.
He has a ticket for sewing. But Gu Yan had said before that he would not buy it, so the matter has been put on hold. He knew that she didn't want to be too conspicuous, and he understood the principle that the first rafter to stick out will rot first. But he felt more sorry for her having to do so much needlework and really wanted to solve this problem.
"But it's not good to do this all the time. You have to work during the day, and you can only do needlework at night. It's too bad for your eyes."
"I won't have to go to work starting tomorrow."
"Why, the tractor is out of gas?"
"You guessed it right. I even suspected that you were hiding under the table of the brigade party branch."
"Haha... this is obvious. It's already amazing that the diesel we've been allocated has been able to sustain us until now. Our country is currently in a state of severe oil shortage. If the higher-ups do something and cause a shortage of crude oil supply, the shortage will be even greater."
Gu Yan nodded, put the cotton coat under his heels, and got into bed to sleep. Li Zhongxia raised his hand to extinguish the oil lamp, lifted his wife's quilt and crawled in.
"What are you doing?"
The man didn't answer, but soon the cabin was filled with the sound of passion. Depressing, gloomy and suggestive. The neighbor's big black cat flashed past the window, probably wanting to find its other half.
"You ignored me for two whole months. Wife, you are terrible when you get angry."
Gu Yan was cleaning with paper in his hand. Hearing this, he lowered his head and bit his shoulder. This time I used quite a bit of force, intending to teach him a lesson.
"Does it hurt?"
"It hurts." Li Zhongxia stretched out his hand and pulled her into his arms, then bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Words can sometimes hurt more than physical actions. I know I was wrong."
"You know you're wrong, and you know I'm angry. So why don't you try to make amends? Can't you comfort me?"
Li Zhongxia was silent for a while, then hugged her tighter. "I pick flowers for you and bring you water to wash your feet. Can't you see that I am trying to please you?"
Gu Yan laughed softly, feeling a little aggrieved at his tone. The grown man actually felt wronged and kissed her hard on the face.
"You were like this before, too."
"Bad decision. Should I do less normally? I'll behave properly after I've pissed you off. That way you'll know how I apologize."
"Do you want to do it again?"
"No." The man answered quickly, showing his strong desire to survive. "I will never make this mistake again."
"What about the others? Are they going to happen again?"
"I'll try not to make the same mistake. But wife, don't you think I can be forgiven if I make the right decision? After all, no one is perfect. I'm just an ordinary person, so I'll be fine as long as I don't make this kind of principled mistake."
"Okay. Since you're so kind in admitting your mistakes, I'll forgive you."
Li Zhongxia happily kissed her twice more: "Why don't you tell me where your bottom line is. What is absolutely unacceptable? So I can have an idea in my mind."
"You are wronging me..."
"I was wrong."
"Cheating, betrayal, murder and abandoning the body..." In the dark night, I could clearly feel the tension and heavy breathing of the man behind me. Gu Yan suddenly chuckled, "I believe you will never do these, at least not now. So there is actually no need to say it."
"You scared me to death." Since you can connect these things with me, I still have some character in your heart.
"What on earth have you been through? Why do you think so extreme? We are husband and wife, and we are to walk through life together. Maybe there will be some friction and disagreements during this long time. But how can it be related to what you said?"
"I was just talking nonsense." Gu Yan smiled lightly, turned his head and kissed him deeply on the lips.
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