Chapter 21 Chapter 21 It's not a burden, it's my choice
Chapter 21
When I returned to Zhang Jinglin's clinic with the three test reports, it was empty.
Zhang Jinglin took the form and read through the examination reports one by one. When he saw "no abnormalities found in the neural pathways" for the auditory brainstem response, his brows slowly relaxed.
"The brainstem pathway is fine, ruling out severe neurological damage, which is a good thing."
Shen Yanzhou's anxiety subsided considerably, and he leaned forward slightly: "So... what else needs to be done next?"
"Have him come in tomorrow on an empty stomach for a blood test, including a complete blood count and biochemistry test, to rule out viral infections and inflammation, which could affect his nerves."
Zhang Jinglin picked up a pen and wrote down the doctor's instructions: "You can drink a little water after 8 p.m., but you can't eat anything. Also, have a temporal bone CT scan to check the inner ear structure. Go to the first floor to pay now, and take the form directly to the laboratory and radiology departments tomorrow morning. You don't need to queue to register."
"Okay, thank you, doctor." Shen Yanzhou took the examination form and led Yu Pan down to the first floor.
Yu Pan originally thought she could leave after reading it, but when she saw Shen Yanzhou heading towards the payment window, a look of confusion appeared in her eyes.
He had already paid, so why did he have to pay again? He didn't ask any more questions and just obediently followed Shen Yanzhou.
This time, Shen Yanzhou counted out 76 yuan from his wallet and handed it over. Yu Pan stood beside him, her eyes fixed on the banknotes in his hand.
He quickly calculated in his mind: the train ticket cost 99.4 yuan, the checkup just now cost 80 yuan, and now it cost another 76 yuan. The money he spent in this day was more than Shen Yanzhou's wages for two months in Xishan Village!
Yu Pan bit her lower lip and gripped Chen Yanzhou's clothes even tighter.
When they left the hospital, it was already dark, and the streetlights were on, casting long, warm yellow shadows of the two of them.
Yu Pan finally couldn't hold back any longer and tugged at Chen Yanzhou's hand, gesturing, "Aren't we still supposed to have an examination? We've already paid."
"That's for tomorrow's inspection." Shen Yanzhou rubbed his head, and when he put his head down, he took Yu Pan's hand.
Shen Yanzhou glanced at his watch; it was almost seven o'clock. Remembering the doctor's words that "no food should be eaten after eight o'clock," he quickly took Yu Pan to find a place to eat.
Fortunately, there are many small restaurants near the hospital. Shen Yanzhou chose a home-style restaurant and ordered stir-fried greens, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, and a plate of stir-fried pork belly. Rice was free to refill.
I ate lean meat porridge on the train this morning, and two eggs while waiting in line for my number to be called, and I've been eating them ever since.
After the dishes were served, Yu Pan held his bowl and ate his rice quickly and cleanly, as always. Shen Yanzhou sat next to him and would occasionally put a piece of green vegetable on his plate.
Before long, Yu Pan had finished two bowls of rice. Seeing that he was almost done, Shen Yanzhou reached out and touched his stomach.
The thin belly is bulging and round, which shows how full the owner of the belly is.
"The doctor said that after 8 p.m. tonight, you can't eat anything except water, not even snacks," Shen Yanzhou gestured.
Yu Pan's happy face immediately wilted, and he touched the canvas bag where the old lady had given him the snacks.
The train was filled with all sorts of smells, so he couldn't bear to eat it and had saved it for now. He was planning to eat it slowly after he settled in for the night, but now he can't.
Seeing his displeasure, Shen Yanzhou picked up another piece of pork belly to coax him: "This is the last piece. You won't eat anymore after you finish this."
Yu Pan immediately opened her mouth to catch it, and her listless face instantly came back to life.
After paying for the meal, Shen Yanzhou took Yu Pan to find a place to stay for the night.
They need to come for a check-up early tomorrow morning, so they definitely can't stay too far away. Fortunately, there are plenty of hotels and guesthouses near the hospital.
They went to three different places, and each one had a red sign that said "fully booked." Yu Pan followed Shen Yanzhou for almost half an hour, and her pace gradually slowed down.
Seeing that he was a little tired, Shen Yanzhou took his canvas bag and slung it over his own shoulder, gesturing, "Let's look at two more places. If we can't find them, we'll go a little further away. I'll carry you."
Finally, two streets away from the hospital, we found a small hotel with a wooden sign that read "Available Rooms" hanging at the door.
The owner, a middle-aged woman, led them upstairs to the second floor and opened a room. "It's twelve yuan a night, this is the only room available, you'll have to make do."
The room was even smaller than the inn they had stayed at after leaving Xishan Village. The two single beds were right next to each other, with only enough space in the middle to squeeze through sideways, and the foot of the bed was only an arm's length away from the wall.
The only advantage is that there's a tiny balcony, about the size of a palm, where you can dry clothes.
After taking a shower and hanging up the clothes, Shen Yanzhou returned to his room and found Yu Pan asleep on the bed, wearing only a pair of underwear.
Shen Yanzhou walked over, carefully turned him over to lie down, and then reached out to feel his forehead.
The temperature was normal, and there was no fever, so I breathed a sigh of relief.
Although it was August, the nights were still cool. Shen Yanzhou took out a thin short-sleeved shirt from his luggage bag and draped it over Yu Pan's stomach.
Seeing Yu Pan's eyebrows twitch and his eyes closed as he slept soundly, Shen Yanzhou couldn't help but pinch his cheek before turning off the light and lying down on the bed next to him.
After the lights were turned off, only the faint light from the streetlights outside the window remained in the room.
Yu Pan waited for a while before opening her eyes.
He wasn't really asleep; he was just too tired from the day and dozed off for a short while. He woke up when Shen Yanzhou turned him over.
Yu Pan stared at the light spots on the ceiling with her eyes open, the scenes from the past two days replaying in her mind.
The way Shen Yanzhou counted the money, the banknotes he handed into the payment window, the amount on the train ticket...
I wish I weren't deaf.
If I had stayed still and hadn't fainted, would I have been able to hear? Would I have avoided traveling so far and spending so much money?
Yu Pan also knew that Shen Yanzhou was lying to him; he hadn't actually gotten leave.
He was doing well at the factory, could have been a key employee, and was earning a lot of money, but he quit because of his own actions…
Guilt welled up like water, making his chest ache.
He tried to hold back, but tears still welled up and streamed down his face, soaking into his pillow.
All you do is cry, cry, cry.
Yu Pan bit her lip hard to stop herself from sobbing, but her body trembled from the suppressed crying.
He was so engrossed in crying that he didn't even notice when Chen Yanzhou turned on the light and sat down beside his bed. It wasn't until a warm hand gently touched his face that he snapped back to reality.
When she looked up and saw Shen Yanzhou's gaze, her tears fell even more fiercely.
"What's wrong?" Shen Yanzhou bent down and reached out to wipe away his tears, but Yu Pan suddenly sat up, wrapped her arms around Shen Yanzhou's neck, buried her face in his shoulder, and cried.
It wasn't a soft sob, but a whimper filled with grievance and guilt. His shoulders were shaking violently. Shen Yanzhou wasn't wearing a shirt, and tears quickly soaked his shoulders, streaming down his skin.
Shen Yanzhou pulled him onto his lap, supporting his waist with one hand and patting his back with the other, coaxing him, "Panpan, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare? Or are you feeling unwell?"
Yu Pan couldn't hear, he just kept crying. He hated himself for being deaf, hated himself for being useless, hated himself for being a burden to Shen Yanzhou.
Emotions need to be released, so Shen Yanzhou didn't urge him. He just held him and let him cry, occasionally helping him to catch his breath until he had cried enough.
After crying for an unknown amount of time, Yu Pan's tears began to subside, leaving only sobs.
He looked up at Shen Yanzhou, his lips moved, and he carefully wrote on Shen Yanzhou's arm, stroke by stroke: "Brother, am I really useless...?"
Shen Yanzhou held his wrist, placed his hand in her palm, and slowly wrote: "You're amazing. You bought me a bicycle, helped the old lady pick vegetables, helped the old man organize his bookshelf, and you do your homework quickly and well. How could you be useless?"
“But I’m so useless right now.” Yu Pan’s tears fell again, and the strength in her writing fluctuated. “I can’t hear, I can’t speak, and I’m costing you so much money. I’m just a burden to you…”
“I’m not a burden.” Shen Yanzhou interrupted him, writing with extra care, “I’m happy to spend money on your medical treatment.”
I'm so happy to see your health getting better and better.
"I'm happy to make sure you're well-fed and clothed, and that you can do what you love every day."
“Panpan, this is the meaning of my earning money.” Shen Yanzhou looked at Yu Pan. “It’s not a burden, it’s what I want.”
Yu Pan's tears fell even harder, but not for the grievances he had felt before. He sniffed and began to gesture, "My ears... cost so much money..."
“Money can be earned again, but hearing can’t.” Shen Yanzhou hugged him closer, his forehead pressed against Yu Pan’s, and wrote in his palm: “Panpan, all I want is for you to be alright, that’s more important than anything else, so don’t worry about money.”
If he could make Yu Pan hear and speak by spending money, he would be willing to spend any amount of money.
Looking into Shen Yanzhou's eyes, Yu Pan felt the guilt surging in his heart gradually subside. He nodded, buried his face in Shen Yanzhou's neck, and nuzzled against him with the tip of his nose.
Like a spoiled kitten, Shen Yanzhou thought, and let him rub against her.
The two sat on the narrow single bed, embracing each other for a while. The room was quiet, with only the sound of their breathing.
After a while, Yu Pan slowly let go of his hands, straddled Shen Yanzhou's lap, straightened her back slightly, and looked up to meet his gaze.
The dim light fell on the corners of his reddened eyes, which were still slightly damp.
Yu Pan looked at Shen Yanzhou for a moment, then raised her hand and wrote on Shen Yanzhou's shoulder: "Brother, I want to kiss you."
I feel a little embarrassed after writing this, but they haven't kissed in a long time.
Shen Yanzhou paused for a moment, then smiled, raised his hand to support the back of Yu Pan's neck, and leaned closer.
Yu Pan's lips were soft, and they tasted slightly salty from her tears.
Yu Pan was kissed so hard that she leaned back slightly, but quickly moved forward again, her eyelashes drooping, obediently cooperating.
They kissed for a long time, and when they parted, there was still a very faint trace on the corner of their mouths.
Yu Pan's face flushed red. She pursed her lips and buried her head in Shen Yanzhou's neck, rubbing her cheek against his skin as if trying to wipe away the mark.
Shen Yanzhou was amused by his little action and laughed out loud, causing the person in his arms to sway along with it.
Yu Pan thought he was laughing at her, and raised her hand to push him away, but Shen Yanzhou pressed her wrist down. Shen Yanzhou didn't say anything, but just rubbed her wrist, the action carrying a soothing meaning.
He lay down with Yu Pan in his arms, holding her close.
Yu Pan opened her eyes, her gaze fixed on Shen Yanzhou's lips, trying to discern something from that subtle movement.
Seeing that he was staring at his mouth, Shen Yanzhou moved his lips, but the movement was very slow.
Yu Pan blinked, not quite understanding, but could tell from the other person's gentle gaze that it must be a kind remark.
Shen Yanzhou smiled helplessly yet affectionately, then lowered his head and kissed his forehead again. "Go to sleep. We have another check-up tomorrow."
This time, Yu Pan understood the meaning of the words "go to sleep".
He closed his eyes, leaned against Shen Yanzhou's chest, felt the beating of Shen Yanzhou's heart, and slowly fell asleep.
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Author's Note: Nothing happened! It was just a kiss! What's wrong with lovers kissing?! Don't lock me up!
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