Chapter 51 "I only want you..."
Chapter 51
They stayed in Xishan Village for a week, and then moved after returning to Lanzhou.
Their new home is a three-story villa with front and back yards. Their room has a large terrace, just like the house they rented when they first arrived in Lanzhou.
Since there was still some time before Yu Pan started school, Shen Yanzhou deliberately slowed down his pace and did not immediately throw himself into work, but instead devoted most of his time to Yu Pan.
"Panpan, come here." Shen Yanzhou sat in the chair in the study and beckoned to Yu Pan, who was lying on the small bed reading a book.
Yu Pan put down her book and got out of bed. She nestled into Chen Yanzhou's arms as if she knew exactly where to go, found the most comfortable position, and looked up at him: "Brother, what's wrong?"
Shen Yanzhou didn't speak, but picked up a delicate sandalwood comb from the desk and began to comb Yu Pan's short hair, which had grown a bit longer.
The comb teeth gently brushed against her scalp, bringing a comfortable tingling sensation, and Yu Pan comfortably squinted her eyes.
“Your hair has grown a bit faster,” Shen Yanzhou put down the comb, picked up a small tuft of hair, and said, “I’ll take you to get it trimmed and styled before school starts.”
"Hmm..." Yu Pan responded vaguely. He grabbed Shen Yanzhou's free hand, stuffed his fingers between Shen Yanzhou's fingers, interlocked them tightly, and then rested his head on Shen Yanzhou's shoulder with satisfaction.
Shen Yanzhou looked down at the person in his arms who was so dependent on him. "Panpan, how about I get you a tutor?"
"Hmm..." Yu Pan opened her eyes, remembered what she had said at Peking University, and nodded, "Okay, I'll study hard!"
Two teachers came to our house the next day. One was responsible for teaching math and geography; the other was responsible for English.
The living room in the new house is big enough that we don't have to move the sofa to make room for teaching like before. Shen Yanzhou usually handles his work in the study, while Yu Pan tutors him in the living room.
In the evening, Yu Pan would go to the study to do the homework assigned by the teacher. She didn't have much patience for subjects she didn't like. When she encountered slightly difficult questions, she would start fiddling around with the problems, and she just didn't really want to write them.
At this point, Shen Yanzhou would put down what he was doing, sit down next to him, think through the problem thoroughly, and then explain it to Yu Pan in a way that Yu Pan could understand.
Shen Yanzhou was different from other tutors; his voice had a magical quality that Yu Pan enjoyed listening to. Even the most boring problems seemed more interesting when he explained them.
Sometimes, when she was really tired of studying, Yu Pan would act spoiled, turn around and hug Shen Yanzhou's waist, bury her face in his stomach and rub against him, saying in a muffled voice, "Brother, my brain can't work anymore..."
Shen Yanzhou wouldn't force him to study. When he saw that he was really tired, he would stop half a day of tutoring and take him out to relax.
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Before he knew it, it was time for the start of the new school year again, and Yu Pan became a soon-to-be senior high school student. At the same time, he finally met Ling Luo, whom he had not heard from since the accident.
But... Ling Luo has changed too much!
Yu Pan looked at her deskmate, who was noticeably several shades darker than before. She was pretty, though. "What did you do during summer vacation?" she asked.
He remembered that Ling Luo was most afraid of the sun, so she would never have gotten this tanned.
Ling Luo lay on the table, her chin resting on her elbow. "Yu Pan, I think... I've been dumped."
"Huh?" Yu Pan was shocked. "When did you start dating?"
After all, they had been beaten together before, so Ling Luo didn't hide anything from him and told Yu Pan about what happened during her summer vacation, in fits and starts.
It turns out that after Yu Pan was injured and hospitalized, his brother took him home and sent him back to his rural hometown the next day to reflect on his actions.
There, he met someone and dated for two months. Before he returned to Lanzhou, the other person promised to come find him, but now a week has passed and there has been no word from them.
"Do you think... I've been deceived?" Ling Luo was heartbroken.
Yu Pan tried to comfort her: "Does she not know where you live? Maybe she just couldn't find it."
"No! I definitely gave him the address!" Ling Luo sat up straight. "I also gave him my phone number."
"Could it be that they don't have the money to come?"
Ling Luo shook her head, "No, he makes a lot of money. I don't have a penny back in my hometown; he's the one who gives me money to spend."
Yu Pan didn't know how to comfort him, so she could only pat Ling Luo's shoulder to tell him not to be too sad.
“Yu Pan…” Ling Luo grasped Yu Pan’s hand, “Do you think I was dumped?”
"Huh?" Yu Pan frowned and thought, "If it wasn't explicitly stated, it probably isn't."
"Then why doesn't he come looking for me?"
"I don't know..."
Upon hearing this, Ling Luo leaned back onto the table and asked Yu Pan, "Don't you have a boyfriend? Shouldn't you have experience?"
“But my brother and I…and my partner,” Yu Pan quickly corrected herself, “this has never happened before.”
They go everywhere together.
Ling Luo felt even more heartbroken when she heard him say that.
At this point, Yu Pan suddenly remembered, "Ling Luo... I might have to transfer schools."
"!!!" Ling Luo sat up straight again, no longer crying or feeling sad. "Transfer schools? Where to?"
"Hmm, Qingyu over there."
"Qingyu? Which province is it from? I've never heard of it before," Ling Luo asked.
Not to mention Ling Luo had never heard of it, Yu Pan hadn't heard of this place either if Shen Yanzhou hadn't gone there.
He thought of the frequent phone calls Shen Yanzhou had received recently, and the increasingly thick stack of information about Qingyu on the table.
Although Shen Yanzhou hasn't told him yet, Yu Pan guesses it should be soon.
The pace of learning in the senior year of high school is indeed different from that in the junior year.
The teachers wanted to make the most of every minute. In the second year of high school, they would often turn study periods into physical education classes so that students could go out and play. In the third year, they would frequently use physical education classes to go over problems.
Yu Pan's tutoring classes are still ongoing, with Saturdays fully booked, and she can only truly catch her breath on Sundays.
Since learning that Shen Yanzhou was going to Qingyu soon, Yu Pan had been secretly making preparations. He didn't know the exact departure date and was afraid of forgetting things in the rush, so he packed his favorite books and other trinkets into his suitcase in advance.
As September draws to a close and National Day approaches, the weather is getting cooler, and there's no longer a need to turn on the air conditioner at night; a small electric fan is enough.
The National Day holiday has finally arrived amidst the students' eager anticipation. The two-day holiday coincides with the weekend, resulting in a four-day break. Correspondingly, the four-day holiday also comes with four days of homework.
On the evening of the first day of the holiday, Yu Pan and Shen Yanzhou took a shower together and chatted in bed.
Yu Pan nestled on Shen Yanzhou's lap like a lazy cat, playing with his fingers while pouting and complaining that the school was heartless, assigning so much homework during the rare holiday.
"Anyway, tomorrow is the first day of the holiday, and I'm determined not to do homework." Yu Pan turned to the side and poked Chen Yanzhou's firm belly.
"Okay, I won't write." Shen Yanzhou replied, running his fingers through Yu Pan's hair. "So, where do you want to go tomorrow?"
“Hmm…” Yu Pan thought about it seriously for a moment, “I want to go to the bookstore and take a look. I haven’t bought this month’s issue of ‘Story Collection’ yet.”
“Okay, I’ll go with you tomorrow afternoon.” Shen Yanzhou nodded.
"Mmm! Brother, you're the best." Yu Pan lay down contentedly, one leg bent and the other resting on her knee, leisurely swinging her toes as she continued to play with Chen Yanzhou's hands.
The room fell silent for a moment, with only the hum of the electric fan.
"Panpan," Shen Yanzhou suddenly spoke, his voice slightly deeper than before.
"Hmm?" Yu Pan looked up at Shen Yanzhou, but when he saw the familiar look on Shen Yanzhou's face, as if he was about to talk about something serious, his heart skipped a beat, and he vaguely understood something.
"Brother has something to tell you." Shen Yanzhou said, holding Yu Pan under his armpits with both hands, and with a little force, lifted her off his lap so that she could sit facing him.
Yu Pan sat up straight with his legs crossed, but his heart began to race uncontrollably. He looked at Shen Yanzhou, waiting for him to say what he was about to say.
Shen Yanzhou held his hand, her voice exceptionally soft, "Panpan, do you remember when we were by the lake at Beijing University, you said you wanted to study there?"
Yu Pan nodded, her tone tinged with pride, "Of course I remember, I have a very good memory, okay?"
If it weren't for this goal, he wouldn't have patiently studied those subjects he didn't like.
“Yes, I know Panpan has a good memory.” Shen Yanzhou smiled and then remained silent for a while before speaking: “Panpan, I’m currently working on a big project in Qingyu, and I have to keep an eye on it for the next two years.”
"I know," Yu Pan forced a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "I knew it! Look, I've even packed my bags, I'm ready to go anytime!"
Hearing Yu Pan say that, Shen Yanzhou felt a pang of sadness in his heart. He pulled Yu Pan into his arms and held her tightly.
"Panpan, listen to your brother..."
"I don't want to hear it!" Yu Pan struggled violently in Shen Yanzhou's arms, her voice trembling with tears. "I don't want to hear it! Let me go! You're lying! You clearly said you'd take me with you everywhere!"
"Panpan! Listen to me!" Shen Yanzhou's arms were like iron hoops, holding him tightly, no matter how much he pounded his chest, he wouldn't let go. "Listen to your brother... it's not that I don't want to take you, it's that I really can't take you now!"
He picked Yu Pan up and let him straddle his lap, cupping his already wet cheeks in his hands and wiping away the tears that kept welling up in his eyes with his thumbs.
"It's just a huge construction site right now, with construction everywhere. There isn't even a decent house; you can only live in temporary shacks. There aren't any good schools either. What will you do about your studies?"
Shen Yanzhou kissed Yu Pan's eyes, "You stay in Lanzhou, Aunt Zhou will take care of you. You can focus on your studies and prepare for the college entrance examination, okay?"
"No! Not at all!" Yu Pan cried, gasping for breath, her body going limp. She buried her face in Shen Yanzhou's neck, her tears soaking his pajamas. "I can endure hardship... Brother, I really can endure hardship... Don't leave me..."
“Brother knows you can endure hardship,” Shen Yanzhou’s voice was hoarse as he lowered his head and kissed Yu Pan’s cheeks and lips repeatedly, “but brother can’t bear to see you suffer… Panpan, brother can’t bear to see you suffer even a little bit. Only when you are well here can brother be at ease outside.”
“But I’m not okay without you…” Yu Pan cried. “I won’t eat or sleep well… I’ll get sick… and I’ll die very soon…”
"Don't talk nonsense!" Shen Yanzhou patted Yu Pan's bottom. "With Aunt Zhou here, she'll cook your favorite dishes. I'll make Aunt Zhou..."
“I don’t want Aunt Zhou… I only want you…” Yu Pan shook her head forcefully to interrupt him, tears streaming down Chen Yanzhou’s neck.
“We’re not always apart,” Shen Yanzhou promised. “I come back to see you every month, at least once a month. We talk on the phone every day. You can call me whenever you want, just like when I’m on a business trip, okay?”
“It’s different…it’s completely different…” Yu Pan sobbed as she retorted.
Business trips usually last three to five days at most. The longest they'd ever been apart was only half a month when he was in Baixi Town. But this time it wasn't half a month... and it was to such a far place, even farther than when they went back to Xishan Village...
After that, no matter what Shen Yanzhou said or how he made any promises, Yu Pan wouldn't listen.
He curled up in Shen Yanzhou's arms, repeatedly saying "no" and "I don't want to."
The crying gradually subsided, turning into weary sobs. Finally, Yu Pan cried until she was exhausted and fell into a deep sleep in Shen Yanzhou's arms.
However, even in her sleep, Yu Pan's brows were furrowed, and her body would tremble slightly from time to time due to sobs.
Yu Pan woke up groggily in the middle of the night, feeling the familiar warmth and embrace beside her, realizing that the conversation was real and not a dream, and tears began to well up again.
Shen Yanzhou didn't sleep all night. Looking at the swollen eyes of the person in his arms, his heart ached. If he could find a way to have the best of both worlds, he would like to take Yu Pan with him.
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Author's Note: Panpan: [Burning with sobs]
This month, it's been updated for 29 consecutive days!
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