I was a wanderer since childhood and was taken in and raised by the emperor's personal guard.
He is my benefactor, my mentor, and like a second parent to me.
After entering the palace, my master taught me to read and write, and to practice martial arts.
When I grew up, my master took me on missions, and my abilities were valued by the emperor.
My master told me to be loyal to the emperor, that my life belongs to the emperor.
I have always followed my master's instructions.
Even after my master passed away, I remained loyal to the emperor as he had instructed.
Because of my taciturn and introverted personality, I don't have many friends, but there are quite a few people who want to curry favor with me.
Because I am a favorite of the emperor.
Even so, apart from patrolling, protecting the emperor, and occasionally being sent out on missions, there was nothing else interesting in my life.
I have no idea about my future; I will do whatever the Emperor tells me to do.
As long as I live.
Others may think my life is dull and boring, but I don't.
Because I don't find their lives particularly interesting.
I think, if I hadn't met her...
I will never care if my life is boring.
But then I met her.
Her martial arts skills are better than mine.
She meant no harm; she just wanted to cook something in the imperial kitchen.
I stood frozen in place, watching her busy figure in the imperial kitchen.
I recall the scenes of some colleagues' wives bringing me meals; at that time, I didn't feel much when I saw these things.
I only think of my deceased master occasionally.
After she finished making the pastries, she gave me some, hoping to win me over.
As I ate the pastry and looked into her bright eyes, an idea suddenly popped into my head.
If she could bring me food in the future, wouldn't my life be less boring?
That was the first time I felt that my past life was dull, boring, and utterly joyless.
I even started looking forward to seeing her.
Every time she wanted to use the imperial kitchen in the middle of the night, I would stand guard outside the door for her.
After she finished making snacks or other dishes, she would always save some for me as a thank you.
I'm curious where she delivers these things each time she makes them.
One day, after she left the imperial kitchen, I would follow behind her.
I discovered that all the food she prepared was for Consort Yun in the Cold Palace and the Ninth Prince, Feng Qianyan.
She secretly came to the imperial kitchen to prepare these dishes so that the mother and son could eat better.
I also saw her and Feng Qianyan walk very close and hug each other.
I feel very uncomfortable inside, and I don't know what this feeling is.
From then on, every time she secretly went to the imperial kitchen, I would put on a cold face.
She could tell I was unhappy, and she asked me why.
But I don't know why.
She said I should smile more, that it would make me seem more approachable.
But I don't like fake smiles.
But in front of her, I'm willing to smile more; as long as she's happy, I'm willing to do it sincerely...
On the eve of the palace coup, I was sent out by the emperor on an errand.
This was actually suggested by the Second Prince, Feng Qianlin, who wanted to transfer me away from the Emperor.
When I realized what was happening and rushed back to the palace, I was ambushed in the woods in the western suburbs.
My body and eyes were severely injured.
I can feel that I'm dying.
But I don't want to die.
I don't know how much time has passed.
In a daze, I heard someone pass by me. I desperately grasped at this straw and weakly spoke.
When I regained consciousness, I smelled the scent of the person who saved me.
It smells the same as Mu Tiantian's.
But her voice belonged to a man.
I want to follow him, or maybe it's her.
But he didn't want me to come along.
Yes, I'm already a useless person, and following him would only be a burden.
But I still want to go with them.
Since he saved me, my life belongs to him.
He told me that if I wanted to repay his kindness, I should pledge allegiance to the new emperor, and he told me to go find Quan Wufeng.
He seems to know everything.
From that moment on, I knew it was her...
She saved me.
I've been hiding and secretly gathering information about the palace. I heard that Mu Tiantian is working for the Second Prince Feng Qianlin, and that she killed Feng Qianyan and Quan Wufeng.
But I don't believe it.
If she were truly working for the Second Prince, she wouldn't have saved me.
Later, when Feng Qianyan and Quan Wufeng stormed the palace, I was nearly blind, but my other senses became more acute, and I helped them.
After the palace coup ended, Quan Wufeng treated me, and my eyes were able to see again, but when I was too tired, my vision would still be a little blurry.
But none of that matters. I'm already content that I can see things clearly again.
Quan Wufeng told me that if I hadn't received timely treatment, he wouldn't have been able to fully cure me.
He asked me why I helped them.
I didn't tell him about her.
Because he and Feng Qianyan were searching for her throughout the city, they believed she was working for the Second Prince.
She poisoned them and strangled Consort Yun to death.
Perhaps what they are saying is true.
But I never believed it.
I did not tell Quan Wufeng the truth.
He didn't press the matter further.
Three years later, I met her again.
In the imperial prison, Quan Wufeng imprisoned her on charges of assassinating the emperor.
At that time, I thought that I would take her away if she just said one word.
But she still refused to admit that she had saved him.
Until she said, "I should live for myself..."
Yes, it seems like I've always been living for others.
For his master, for the emperor, for...her...
At that moment, I understood that she didn't want me to be bound by the past, and she didn't want me to be fixated on the fact that she saved me.
She was very distant with me. I thought, maybe if a stranger had grabbed her in the woods in the western suburbs, she would have saved her too.
I felt a bit stifled, and the uncomfortable feeling in my heart was just like it was three years ago.
Later, when Quan Wufeng asked me if I liked her...
I just realized that I like her.
So, all those uncomfortable feelings stemmed from the fact that she didn't like me.
After Quan Wufeng found out, he only told me one sentence.
It's absolutely impossible for us.
Yes, I knew from the beginning that there was absolutely no possibility between us.
So, it's just... liking...
As time went by, that feeling slowly faded away.
Perhaps it was her distant attitude towards me that prevented me from falling deeper into the trap.
Years later, I noticed that Jinling, who was next to her, was a bit clumsy and sometimes even dozed off and fell into the pond while feeding the fish.
I couldn't help but laugh.
Jinling saw it, but she wasn't angry. Instead, she seemed to have discovered something new and interesting, and she came closer to look at it.
She said it was the first time she had ever seen me laugh out loud.
From then on, she tried to make me laugh.
Those actions that I found boring, when performed by her, made me burst out laughing.
My emotions gradually began to be swayed by her, and I started to smile more often.
Even my subordinates felt that I was very different from before, when I was more approachable.
It was only then that I realized my life was full of joy.
Full of hope for the future...
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End of extra chapter~
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