Chapter 22
Gu Xi followed Shen Mingzheng to a nearby state-run restaurant.
It was past lunchtime, and the restaurant was nearly empty. The waiters were idly swatting flies, and when they saw customers enter, they just gave them a lazy glance.
Upon seeing that the person entering was wearing a military uniform, the waiter immediately perked up and rushed over to serve them.
These days, although those with secure jobs may not provide adequate service and are often indifferent to customers, they are still relatively polite to soldiers who defend the country.
Shen Mingzheng asked, "What would you like to eat?"
Perhaps feeling a bit listless from being in the sun, Gu Xi said, "I'm not hungry, order whatever you like."
Shen Mingzheng remembered that Feng Min had said that she had a bad stomach, which was caused by hunger when she was a child. If she didn't pay attention to her meals, she would easily get stomach pain. So he ordered her a bowl of light soup noodles and asked the waiter to pour her a glass of warm water.
He handed her the water so she could drink some to quench her thirst.
Gu Xi said thank you and picked up the cup to sip the drink.
Their food arrived quickly: a bowl of clear soup noodles, a bowl of cold noodles, and a cold dish.
When it's hot, people's appetites are often poor, so cold and refreshing foods are more likely to stimulate their appetite.
The two ate their meal in silence, neither of them making a sound.
The waiters nearby couldn't help but look at them. They had initially thought they were a young couple coming to eat, but now, seeing how unfamiliar they were with each other, they didn't seem like a young couple. Could they be on a blind date?
Gu Xi really didn't have much of an appetite, but she couldn't not eat; her stomach was already starting to protest.
She picked up a noodle and slowly bit into it, as if counting the length of the noodles, biting off one after another.
After Shen Mingzheng finished eating most of his food, he saw that she was still biting into her noodles and asked, "Is it not to your liking?"
Gu Xi noticed that the waiter over there had already looked over, as if he would roll up his sleeves and come over to defend the chef's cooking skills if she said "it's not to my liking".
She shook her head and said, "It's delicious, but I'm not hungry yet."
Shen Mingzheng looked at her, as if he believed her, yet also as if he didn't.
Feeling pressured by his gaze, Gu Xi forced herself to eat more until she finished half a bowl of noodles and couldn't eat anymore.
The main reason is that restaurants these days give very generous portions; a bowl of noodles is too much for her to finish.
Shen Mingzheng had already finished eating, but seeing that she was eating even slower, he recalled that she had only eaten such a small bowl of rice last night, and he immediately understood.
"Are you full?" he asked.
Gu Xi was waiting for these words, so she quickly nodded and whispered, "I'm full, there's too much noodles in the bowl."
Shen Mingzheng didn't force her to eat any more. He took the remaining noodles from her bowl and put them into his own, quickly finishing the rest without wasting any.
His movements were natural, which was not unusual in this era. After all, food was precious, thrift was a virtue, and people would rather not waste food than not have enough to eat. In addition, there were no tools to pack the food, so they could only eat it on the spot.
Gu Xi felt somewhat uncomfortable, feeling that sharing food was too intimate.
She and Shen Mingzheng were about to break off their engagement, and before that, they had only met a few times, so there was really no affection between them.
After the meal, the two left the state-run restaurant together.
Shen Mingzheng asked, "Do you want to go home, or where are you going?"
“I…” Gu Xi looked up at him and said softly, “Big brother, do you have time? I have something I want to talk to you about.”
Shen Mingzheng looked down at her and found that she seemed very bold, looking people directly into their eyes when she looked at them.
Few people would look him directly in the eye like she did; most young women would avoid eye contact with him.
Shen Mingzheng said, "Let's go over there, it's cooler there."
As he spoke, he took the lead and walked across the street.
There's a row of tall locust trees over there, their shadows casting a cool shade on this hot day.
It was midday, the sun was blazing, there were few pedestrians on the street, and only the incessant chirping of cicadas could be heard.
It was very quiet, and very hot.
This is the heat unique to summer, with the sunlight dazzlingly bright.
The two stood under the shade of a tree by the roadside. Shen Mingzheng, dressed in military uniform with his military cap in his hand, looked at the girl in front of him.
He was very tall, and Gu Xi always had to look up when she looked at him. Judging by his height, he was probably close to 1.9 meters tall. Even in the north, this height would be considered exceptional.
However, the Shen family members are all very tall, and I heard that their ancestral home is in Northeast China.
After retiring, Mr. Shen settled in Beijing due to poor health. The Shen family members each had their own work and lives and rarely returned to their ancestral home in Northeast China.
Looking at his handsome, cold face, Gu Xi finally mustered up her courage and said, "Brother, I want to break off the engagement."
She regained her composure after saying those words.
Before she spoke up, she was always worried and anxious, afraid that he would disagree. But she was even more worried that she would hold him back in the future. What if she died one day? Would that make him feel guilty and never marry her again?
Shen Mingzheng remained silent, his gaze suddenly becoming incredibly sharp, like a dagger piercing her heart.
Under such gazes, even though Gu Xi felt that her courage had been honed during her time as a ghost, she still found it somewhat unbearable.
He mainly felt guilty. He knew nothing about it and suddenly told him that he wanted to break off the engagement. No normal person could accept that, let alone a responsible man like him. He wouldn't agree to break off the engagement without a reason.
After a long pause, Shen Mingzheng finally asked, "The reason!"
His tone was neither happy nor angry; he seemed calm, merely puzzled.
Only the hands behind his back suddenly clenched.
Gu Xi first breathed a sigh of relief, then hesitated, knowing that she had to give him a reason that could convince him, otherwise it would be unacceptable to break off the engagement without cause.
She said carefully, "I don't want to hold you back..."
"Delay?" Shen Mingzheng was indeed puzzled, never expecting that this was her reason for wanting to break off the engagement.
When she said she wanted to break off the engagement, he thought of many things, even recalling Zhou Huaimin, the youngest son of the Zhou family, who had stood with her at the hospital.
They were of similar age, both young, handsome men and beautiful women, and looked very well-matched standing together.
However, he quickly dismissed the image, not believing that she would fall for someone else while they were engaged; she wasn't that kind of person.
Although they had only met a few times, he knew her well. After all, he had a mother and younger brother who always liked to write to him, and nine out of ten sentences in those letters mentioned her. She was like a bridge connecting their family.
Gu Xi said, "Brother, you never know when an accident might happen. What if I die one day? It would be a burden to you..."
"nonsense!"
Shen Mingzheng looked displeased, disliking her for speaking so lightly about life and death.
He looked terrifying when he was angry, enough to frighten a child, but Gu Xi wasn't scared. She knew he was acting this way because he didn't like her talking about life and death.
He wasn't angry with her.
She smiled, her eyes crinkling.
Actually, she didn't want to die. Who would want to die if they could live?
Yesterday, she thought she would die in that lake, just like in her previous life, unable to escape her predetermined fate.
But he appeared!
He was like an accident, breaking her fate of death, pulling her away from the lake so he could go down and save the drowning child.
In his past life, he arrived a step too late; in this life, thanks to Chen Yunsheng's help in calling for help, he was able to arrive in time.
It's as if fate can be broken.
But she still didn't dare to gamble.
Gu Xi said, "Brother, listen to me! In this life, anything can happen at any moment. Just like yesterday, if you hadn't pulled me back, I would have jumped into the lake to save someone. I might have drowned because of exhaustion or cramps while I was getting that child onto the boat..."
Shen Mingzheng listened quietly to her voice, which was clear and melodious, with a softness unique to girls.
But he didn't like hearing that.
"No!" Shen Mingzheng interrupted her, his voice steady and firm. "You don't need to make any assumptions; assumptions never exist!"
She will live well, she should live well, instead of thinking about these trivial things!
Shen Mingzheng disliked hearing her make such hypothetical statements. He recalled seeing her sitting alone under the shade of a tree in the park yesterday, and at that moment, he felt that she was out of place in this world.
When she lies, her fingers unconsciously dig into her palms, making it obvious to anyone who sees it.
When she said she had something to do and asked him to leave, he realized she might be lying! Sure enough, when he went back, he saw her sitting there alone, not having left.
She looked pitiful at the time, lost in thought, with a look of grievance and confusion that was heartbreaking to see.
Gu Xi insisted, "Big brother, what if..."
“There’s no ‘what if’!” Shen Mingzheng’s tone hardened, then suddenly remembered something and asked coldly, “Has someone threatened you?”
Otherwise, why would she keep emphasizing that she would die?
If someone threatens her...
Gu Xi was taken aback, then realized he had misunderstood, and quickly said, "No one threatened me!"
Shen Mingzheng scrutinized her, as if to confirm whether she was lying.
Gu Xi felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze, but since no one was threatening her, she could be at ease about that.
If we're talking about threats, then the threat of fate in the book... well, that's not exactly human, is it?
She just couldn't be sure that if she died in the future, it would delay his life again.
Shen Mingzheng scrutinized her for a moment and said, "Gu Xi, when I go back to the army this time, I will first go and submit a marriage application. I will take leave next month to come back and we will get married!"
As he said this, he clenched his fists again behind his back.
Gu Xi blinked, then exclaimed "Ah!"
Weren't we talking about breaking off the engagement? How did we end up talking about getting married?
Are they getting married?
Seeing that she remained silent, Shen Mingzheng asked, "You don't want to marry me?"
Gu Xi shook her head, "No..."
"So you—have a problem with me?" Shen Mingzheng thought of this possibility; she might have a problem with him, which was why she wanted to break off the engagement.
Gu Xi stared at him in disbelief.
Do you have a problem with him?
She... didn't seem to have any issues with him, did she? In the eyes of the world, his family background, appearance, and abilities were all impeccable, leaving no room for dissatisfaction. She had never pointed out anything wrong with him either.
However, her reaction led him to misunderstand.
Shen Mingzheng clenched his fist, confirming that she was indeed dissatisfied with him.
Shen Mingzheng's jaw twitched slightly, his lips tightened, his gaze sharpened, and he asked in a deep voice, "What do you dislike about me? I can change it!"
Gu Xi thought he looked a little scary.
His demeanor didn't seem like he was trying to change; instead, he exuded a murderous aura, as if he would kill her at any moment if she spoke. He finally revealed some of the thuggishness he had developed in the army, and there was no longer any calmness or restraint.
Did my suggestion to break off the engagement hurt his pride as a man?
When she was a ghost, she spent some time online and heard that many men have a strong sense of self-esteem. Someone like Shen Mingzheng, who has been a prodigy since childhood, would never be looked down upon by anyone. However, he might be rejected by his fiancée because of the engagement, which would be a blow to his self-esteem.
Putting herself in his shoes, Gu Xi suddenly realized that casually bringing up the matter of breaking off the engagement was reckless and disrespectful.
Since her resurrection, she has always felt that she will not live much longer and may die at any time.
The thought that he might never marry after she died, and that she would be holding him back for the rest of his life, was unbearable for her. She wanted him to have more freedom of choice so that he wouldn't have to live with guilt for the rest of his life.
He is Aunt Feng's son. She likes Aunt Feng so much and doesn't want to hurt her or delay his life.
These days, she was focused on breaking off the engagement with him so as not to hold him back for the rest of his life, but she didn't think about whether he would agree or whether it would hurt his pride.
In this matter, it was indeed wishful thinking on her part.
Gu Xi fell silent.
"Big brother," she said softly, "you're fine. I have no complaints, and you don't need to change anything."
This is what she truly felt.
Shen Mingzheng slowly loosened his grip on his back.
He looked at the girl who was hanging her head and refusing to look at him, tried to calm himself down, and asked, "If you have no complaints, why do you want to break off the engagement?"
He respected her choice and wanted to understand why she wanted to break off the engagement. The reason that "she might die and hold him back" was too absurd and ridiculous to convince him.
Gu Xi fell silent again.
After a long pause, she said, "Brother, I just feel that you have better options, and I'm holding you back..."
“Gu Xi, you’re very good!” Shen Mingzheng said in a deep voice. “I don’t need any other choice.”
Gu Xi looked up at him in surprise, and when she met his deep gaze, her face suddenly felt hot.
His words were almost a confession of love.
People of this generation value subtlety and don't express their emotions directly, especially someone like Shen Mingzheng who spent his youth in the military and has little to show for his emotions. He doesn't even understand what love is; he simply follows in his parents' footsteps, gets married, has children to continue his bloodline, and then lives out his life.
He must have meant it sincerely when he said that, and he must really believe it.
Gu Xi died young in her previous life and spent decades as a ghost, isolated from the world, without even a soul of her own, let alone the experience of love.
Aside from a previous engagement with him, she was completely unfamiliar with relationships.
But she never really thought that she would marry him and spend her whole life with him.
"Big...Big brother..." she stammered, "I...I think, isn't it too early to get married?"
She instinctively struggled for a moment.
Shen Mingzheng looked at the girl who was dodging in front of him, his expression unchanged, but his eyes revealed a thoughtful look.
When she previously stated that she was breaking off the engagement, she was frank and straightforward, without the slightest bit of shyness, as if she were stating something very simple.
Now she's starting to avoid it, not because she hates being pressured, nor because she seems to...
Shen Mingzheng asked, "Gu Xi, do you want to continue your studies?"
He understood that they needed to clarify things today, otherwise misunderstandings could easily arise. He disliked indecisiveness; they were going to get married and spend their lives together, and he couldn't let misunderstandings stand between them.
Gu Xi paused for a moment, then honestly shook her head.
Shen Mingzheng then asked, "So you want to find a job?"
Gu Xi nodded. To live, one must find a job to earn money and support oneself. Parents and family members are unreliable; only oneself can be relied upon.
She originally thought that if she could successfully survive the ordeal, then break off the engagement with him, and after dealing with everything, she could find a job in peace, move out of the Gu family, and never have anything to do with them again.
“In that case, we can get married first,” Shen Mingzheng said. “After we get married, you can also find a job.”
However, if you need to accompany the military, you can find a job within the military.
He never imagined that the two of them would live apart after getting married.
Gu Xi opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but couldn't utter a word under his firm gaze.
I always feel that saying it will make him angry.
She has no complaints about him, so why doesn't she marry him? Doesn't that mean she actually has some complaints about him?
Shen Mingzheng asked, "Gu Xi, what do you think?"
In their first encounter, Gu Xi was forced into a series of defeats.
What does she think? She doesn't know!
She felt that refusing was not an option, and not refusing was also not an option, but with him, there were only two choices for her, no third option.
Shen Mingzheng is a man who acts swiftly and decisively, whether on the battlefield or in matters of marriage.
He pressed his advantage, saying, "If you have no objections, we can get married next month. Mom also hopes we can get married soon; she's been looking forward to you marrying into our family."
At this moment, he knew that mentioning his mother would make Gu Xi hesitate.
Sure enough, Gu Xi's expression relaxed upon hearing this.
Of course she knew how much Aunt Feng wanted her to marry into the family. If she hadn't been studying, she might have chosen a date for her to marry as soon as she came of age.
Just as Gu Xi was about to nod in agreement, she suddenly thought of something and whispered, "Big brother, actually I think that after the engagement is dissolved, I can recognize Uncle Shen and Aunt Feng as my godparents and take good care of them in the future. Then I can move in with Aunt Feng and the others."
Mingming had said that if Aunt Feng had adopted her, she would have lived with Aunt Feng.
Shen Mingzheng: "..."
Shen Mingzheng thought he had misheard for a moment, and a rare look of astonishment appeared on his face.
Could it be that she wants to break off the engagement because she wants to recognize her parents as her godparents?
Suddenly, he remembered that five years ago, his mother returned from visiting relatives in their hometown and said she had brought back a savior who wanted to adopt her and make her her goddaughter. However, she was later taken back by the Gu family, so they could no longer adopt her. But they really wanted to keep her by their side, so they arranged for the two of them to get engaged.
Could it be that she has actually been thinking about this all along?
She would rather be her parents' adopted daughter, his stepsister, than his wife.
Seeing the undisguised anticipation on her face, Shen Mingzheng felt a lump in his throat; perhaps all the speechless moments of his life were contained in this one day.
What left him speechless was his fiancée, the girl he had always known he was going to marry.
Shen Mingzheng felt a bit like laughing and crying, but he had to admit that when he confirmed that Gu Xi wanted to break off the engagement because she wanted to become the adopted daughter of the Shen family, he breathed a sigh of relief.
It's a bit absurd, and I don't know what she was thinking, but there's a strange kind of cuteness to it.
"Gu Xi," Shen Mingzheng said patiently, "The goddaughter will get married and leave home in the future. She can't live with her godparents forever, but the daughter-in-law can."
Gu Xi said, "I don't have to get married."
She has no interest in getting married, and it doesn't matter whether she gets married or not; she just wants to spend more time with Aunt Feng.
After she died in her previous life, Aunt Feng was so heartbroken that she remained depressed for the rest of her life because of her death.
This was the first time in her twenty years of life that someone had liked her, cared for her, and loved her so much, fulfilling all her fantasies about mothers and elders.
Aunt Feng was the person she couldn't let go of the most.
Shen Mingzheng calmly said, "No, Mom and Dad will worry about you."
Indeed, in this day and age, no girl is immune to marriage. Concerned elders worry about her, and outsiders laugh at her.
Gu Xi didn't want Aunt Feng to worry about her, nor could she bear the thought of Aunt Feng being ridiculed because of her.
So it seems that adoptive daughters aren't a good fit either.
Shen Mingzheng looked at her and continued, "After we get married, you will be their daughter-in-law and can take care of them for the rest of your life."
Perhaps it was the hot weather, or perhaps she wasn't feeling well, but Gu Xi's mind was in a bit of a mess.
It seems that becoming an adopted daughter is not feasible, so let her become Aunt Feng's daughter-in-law instead.
So she said, "Okay then... how about we get married next month?"
Shen Mingzheng finally showed a very faint smile.
He said, "Okay!"
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