Yanling was having a hard time in another city. He rented an old apartment building, and going up and down the stairs to buy groceries every day was a huge struggle for him. He didn't have much money left and had no way to make money, so he had to be frugal.
Jiang Xin also went through a lot of suffering. She was terrified and only dared to go out for some fresh air after nightfall. During the day, she stayed in the dark little house and refused to go out.
In particular, she discovered that many netizens were cursing her online, using all sorts of language to humiliate her, and some even said they wanted to burn paper money for her. That's when she remembered that she was still alive.
Jiang Xin was devastated. She had never been insulted like this before. Some netizens were even more emotional and insulted Jiang Xin's deceased parents, asking why they didn't take her with them when they died and why they left behind this love-struck girl who caused trouble for others.
Coupled with her spending all day locked in a dark room, Jiang Xin's mental state is extremely unstable. She is sometimes depressed, sometimes irritable, but most of the time, she is deeply silent.
But now, she has nothing to do all day long. The only way she can pass the time is to go online, but the internet is full of insults against her and Yanling. This cycle repeats itself, and Jiang Xin is on the verge of a mental breakdown every day.
She suddenly missed her mother, that strong yet protective mother.
When she was little, whenever someone bullied her, her mother would stand up for her and tell her not to be afraid, that her mother would always be her support.
If only my mother were here, she would definitely be able to handle all these troubles for me, and she would never let anyone hurt me.
"Mom, Xin Xin knows she was wrong, please save Xin Xin."
Jiang Xin called out for her mother in her heart, but the Jiang Xin inside her body could no longer hold back. She roared, "Shut up! How dare you call me 'Mom'? What, does she owe you something?!"
Jiang Xin was surprised to find her still there. Hearing the person's accusations, she retorted without backing down, "She is my mother! She has always been very good to me since I was little. Although my mother seems strict, I know that she has a soft heart and loves me very much. Every time I was sick, she would stay up all night to take care of me. Whenever someone bullied me, she would stand up for me. How could she abandon me!"
"Hahaha, you're ridiculous! You know perfectly well that Mom loves you and has done so much for you, but what have you done? You've repeatedly taken advantage of her love and hurt her! You don't deserve to be Mom's daughter! You don't deserve it!"
“Where am I unworthy? She herself is willing to love me like her own daughter, it’s her own choice! She loves me and thinks of me in everything. Now she’s just angry with me and ignoring me out of spite. How could my mother possibly abandon me?”
"Jiang Xin, wake up. Calm down and think about it carefully. How many things have you done to wrong your mother? She has sacrificed so much for her, and what have you done for her? You have done nothing. You only hurt her again and again. You don't know how to cherish your mother's love for you, and you don't understand her care and expectations for you. How dare you call yourself your mother's daughter?"
“I was too young then, and I was eager to pursue freedom. I felt that I was not worthy of my mother’s expectations, so I chose to go down a path of depravity. I thought that no matter what, my mother would never give up on me. I thought that she would always love me and cherish me. I thought that my father, mother and brother would always be my support.”
"Jiang Xin, no one stopped you from going astray, and no one stopped you from pursuing freedom. People are all made of flesh and blood. Why should your mother forgive your repeated rebellions? Besides, there's Mingyue at home who is more outstanding and more filial than you! Jiang Xin, you are nothing now! Don't even think about going back to the Ye family!"
"Waaah... I know I was wrong, I really know I was wrong."
Jiang Xin inside her body knew that when she first transmigrated, she thought she was still the pampered princess in that world, that the Ye family still revolved around her, and that no matter what she did, she wouldn't have to bear the consequences.
Because in that home, besides her loving parents, there was also Ye Beichen, who loved her deeply. He would shelter her from the wind and rain, and even if she went against the whole world, Ye Beichen would stand firmly behind her, giving her warmth and support.
But she didn't understand that some cracks, once they exist, can never be erased. Her parents weren't saints; they would also feel sad, and they would eventually be exhausted by her demands.
Moreover, her mother had been very cold to her all her life, so cold that she never cared about her studies, her early romantic relationships, or her future.
At first, she was secretly pleased with her mother's indifference, thinking that she could escape her control and fly freely.
Later she realized that her mother didn't love her, but rather ignored her and everything about her.
It wasn't until Jiang Xin appeared that she realized that her other self had done so many things to wrong her mother in her past life. Her mother must have been very sad back then.
Jiang Xin treated her mother's sincere efforts as a monster. She squandered her mother's love and ultimately used it to forge an extremely sharp sword, which she then used to stab her unsuspecting mother.
She couldn't understand why her past self had done such a heartless thing. Did she really only see that worthless love? Was family really worthless in her eyes?
She despises her past self and feels sorry for her mother who was hurt by her. Now she doesn't want to expel Jiang Xin from her body. She wants to go back to the past and make up for the harm that Jiang Xin caused to her mother and the Ye family.
If she wants this body, she should give it to her. She'd rather stay here, rotting and stinking, living a life of pain and regret, only then can she atone for her sins.
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