Over there on the farm, Lin Xuelin, despairing for two days after Jiang Jiangyu's departure, endured several lashes before finally collapsing. Fever-stricken and delirious, she lay on the empty bunk bed, unable to distinguish between reality and dreams. She weakly reached out to grasp her mother, Chen Jingru's hand, but it was always just a little off, never reaching.
The people standing in front of her came and went, including her grandmother Gu Ruyi, her grandfather, her father, and many other people she was familiar with. Everyone just looked at her quietly and turned away.
Only her mother kept crying in front of her. She hated her. Why did she only cry and not hug her? She was cold, cold and painful all over. No, they didn't want her anymore. No one wanted her anymore.
As night fell, exhausted women began to arrive one after another. Their lifeless eyes glanced at the figure huddled in a corner, slumped on the kang, huddled together for warmth, and no one had the energy to pay any more attention.
Too much compassion has long been blown away by the Northwest's sandstorms. Who else, besides the dead, can truly leave here? Besides, isn't death sometimes a kind of relief, a kind of happiness?
Outside, the cold wind blew up a corner of the sackcloth that served as a door at the entrance. No one spoke a word. Years of heavy labor had already made them tired and drowsy, falling into a dreamland - that was heaven.
When the news of Lin Xuelin's death reached Chen Jingru, she was holding a cup of hot tea and thinking deeply about the housing problem for her son after he got married, and was also planning the time and place for the in-laws to meet.
Lin Aiguo, who opened the door and came in, clenched his hands, took off his disguise, and said softly: "Xiao Lin is gone, our Xiao Lin is really gone."
Chen Jingru looked at the man with red eyes not far away. His mind went blank and he suddenly fell to the ground and lost consciousness.
The loud "bang" made Lin Aiguo unable to feel the sadness of losing his daughter anymore. He immediately rushed forward, squatted down, picked up his wife, and pinched Chen Jingru's Ren Zhong hard until she woke up from her dying state.
Looking at his wife's lost eyes, Lin Aiguo couldn't help but shed tears. "Mother, please don't be like this. We still have Xiaohui, our son is still waiting for you. Take out the hatred in your heart on me. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have left for so many years. I am the one who deserves to die the most."
"It's all my fault. If I hadn't left, the child wouldn't have become like this. Why didn't she wait for me to think of a solution? Why didn't she just hold on a little longer? How could she bear to let us, the old ones, send our child off..."
"That's our first child. I deserve to die, I deserve to die the most. I shouldn't have come back and not cared about her. No matter how disobedient she was, she was still my child. I was the one who abandoned her. I was the one who hurt her..."
Chen Jingru struggled to stand up, moved step by step into the bedroom, lay straight on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Lin Aiguo grabbed her right hand and said, "Xiaoru, talk to me. Don't be like this."
Chen Jingru closed his eyes and remained motionless.
"Xiao Ru, can I ask Xiao Hui to come back and accompany you?"
Chen Jingru said hoarsely: "Don't tell him."
"Don't be like this. Take out your anger and hatred on me. I beg you to cheer up. This is all my fault. Go ahead and hit me..."
Chen Jingru lay there quietly without saying a word. No matter how sad she was, her tears had dried up over the years. As early as when she abandoned her daughter, she knew that she could not keep her, she really could not keep her.
How did such a tiny thing grow up? She had forgotten... she wasn't fit to be a mother. She was the sinner, the one who deserved death. She shouldn't have let the child be pampered by that damned old woman, shouldn't have worried about the child holding a grudge and letting her do whatever she wanted.
"...I'm resigning now, and we're going to the northwest to look for our child..."
Chen Jingru opened his eyes. "It's not your fault. She went to seek revenge on her grandmother."
Lin Aiguo was speechless and looked at her in surprise with his mouth open.
"Your mother is the culprit, your mother is the sinner. It's all her fault. Without her, my daughter would be as outstanding as Xiaohui. Without her constant instilling in her that marriage is of equal status, without her personal training, my Xiaolin wouldn't be so ambitious, wouldn't have unrealistic expectations, and wouldn't have gone astray."
"My little Lin was so little, she stretched out her arms for me to hold, but your mother immediately sent me to the kitchen. Your mother wouldn't let my little Lin go to my mother's family because they were poor workers who weren't worthy of your family's status. Your mother wouldn't let my little Lin get married because they were peasants who weren't worthy of your family's status."
"And your good sister-in-law, who always instigates the separation between mother and daughter, and makes them resentful of each other. My two children have suffered so much, it's all their fault, it's all their fault! And your good brother-in-law, if he hadn't added insult to injury, how could my Xiaolin have gone to that hellish place in the northwest? It's all their fault, it's all their fault that my daughter lost her life. And your father, he personally cut off my Xiaolin's life."
Listening to these words, watching his wife gradually regain her composure, Lin Aiguo squeezed his eyes shut. It was fine this way, to hate her, to be able to live with this hatred. This family had already lost their daughter, and they couldn't afford to lose another one.
"Didn't the second brother say some time ago that his wife had just seen the child?"
Lin Aiguo opened his eyes, looked at his wife who had regained her spirits, and nodded.
"I sent so many packages because I hoped she would get better and get through this, so that I could personally pick her up one day. She could still write to us before, but how come that woman went to see my Xiaolin and the child died?"
Lin Aiguo's eyebrows twitched.
"Dad, I beg you for one thing."
Lin Aiguo held his breath and said "OK" solemnly.
"Bypass the second brother and investigate privately to find out what happened before the child left." Chen Jingru closed his eyes and said, "I want the real truth."
"Don't worry! If someone really murders our child this time, I will definitely take revenge."
Lin Aiguo knew very well that this was an inappropriate grafting of hatred, but he still wanted to find out what role that sister-in-law played? His daughter was a ruthless character in heaven, and she would never seek death if she could live.
So he asked his younger brother to visit the child when he had time, to give her the confidence to live. Furthermore, they had been scrimping and saving for supplies to mail to her. Given the child's temperament, with all that she had, she wouldn't have to worry about food and clothing, nor would she have been driven to the brink of death.
Unless the child has not received anything secretly...this possibility is not impossible given Zhou Jiao's previous experience.
Thinking of this, Lin Aiguo resolutely denied it. This was impossible. He had treated the second child well; she was his niece, whom he had watched since childhood. Moreover, he was also on guard against that greedy younger brother-in-law.
With Lin Xuelin's passing, the future relationship between the two Lin brothers remains uncertain, except for the test of time. However, the couple has overcome the pain of losing their daughter, and as the year draws to a close, they've begun preparing for their future daughter-in-law to visit them.
Was this a lack of affection, or was death truly the end of all? I wonder if Lin Xuelin can rest in peace in her grave? Her beloved parents had truly returned to earth, severing their bond with her.
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