Just as Liu Xiuqin was about to collapse, the courtyard gate creaked open.
Li Guodong limped in, his face pale, with suspicious stains on his trousers.
Liu Xiuqin exploded as soon as she saw it: "Why aren't you in the hospital?"
"Stop my ass!" Li Guodong's face turned bright red. "I pooped in my pants! The bed is completely ruined! The old man in the next bed almost hit me with his chamber pot!"
"Damn it, that bastard Du Jianshan! He brought me a bowl of chicken soup, and it was full of croton seeds!"
"You bastard! You've ruined my life..."
No sooner had he finished speaking than his stomach suddenly rumbled.
"Damn it! Not again!"
Li Guodong rushed into the house with his legs clamped together, only to be dumbfounded when he lifted the curtain.
Where's the latrine? Where's the chamber pot?
There's not even newspaper left to wipe our butts!
"Damn his ancestors!" Li Guodong's legs trembled. "That little bastard Du Jianshan..."
"puff!"
A stream of runny poop sprayed directly into his crotch.
Liu Xiuqin pinched her nose and backed away, saying, "Old Li, you..."
"Shut up!" Li Guodong trembled as he pulled half a crumpled newspaper from his pocket. "Where's my secret stash of money? Where's the thirty yuan I hid under the chamber pot?"
Li Fuqiang suddenly jumped up: "The eight yuan and sixty cents in the tin box under my bed are gone too!"
"What? You're hiding money?" Liu Xiuqin's eyes widened. "Isn't five yuan a month enough for your allowance?"
The three glared at each other, then suddenly rushed towards where they had hidden their money.
"The cloth ration coupons I sewed into my cotton-padded coat are gone!"
"The 'Great Unity' (a traditional Chinese unit of currency) under the stove bricks is gone!"
"The industrial vouchers for the window frame interlayer have all vanished!"
Forget about the money, all the furniture in the house has vanished.
This room is cleaner than a dog could have licked!
Even the remaining underwear was torn to shreds!
Li Guodong plopped down on a pile of excrement, his eyes glazed over: "It's all over..."
He was originally hoping there would be furniture in the house, but now?
All the furniture is gone!
Everything is gone!
His secret stash of money was gone, his bankbook was gone, his furniture was gone, and even the house was given to Liu Hongmei!
Liu Xiuqin suddenly grabbed Li Fuqiang's ear: "It's all your fault, you jinx! You had to provoke that widow!"
"For no reason at all, you've been scheming against your own family by hanging yourself with that widow. I've wasted all my love on you!"
"Now look what's happened! You've ruined this family, are you satisfied now!"
"Ouch!" Li Fuqiang yelled, also furious and embarrassed: "It was you who forced Du Jianshan to take the blame for me!"
"Besides, what does this have to do with me! It's all because of your good son!"
"I told you, you and your daughter are both jinxes!"
Li Guodong grabbed a broom and started hitting him: "You little brat, how dare you talk back! If you hadn't been peeping at the widow bathing..."
"I didn't fucking see it!" Li Fuqiang roared as he dodged, "You just want to frame Du Jianshan! Who told you to actually put your fingerprints on it!"
The broom snapped in two.
Liu Xiuqin slapped her thigh and wailed, "What sins have I committed to deserve this! To end up with you two..."
"Dong dong qiang!"
Suddenly, a deafening din of gongs and drums erupted outside, accompanied by the joyous sound of suona horns approaching from afar.
The three of them turned their heads in unison.
Bright red ribbons are fluttering into the courtyard!
"Dong dong qiang, dong dong qiang!"
The sound of gongs and drums was deafening.
The neighbors who had come to watch the spectacle all gathered around, chattering and jeering.
"Oh! This widow is here to marry another man!"
"Tsk tsk, this is the fourth one, isn't it? Li Fuqiang is really unlucky!"
"Serves them right! This family schemed against their own son, and now they're getting their comeuppance!"
"Hey, look at Li Guodong, his crotch is still wet, he must have soiled his pants!"
Liu Hongmei, dressed in her finest attire, with a large red flower pinned to her hair, stood with her hands on her hips at the courtyard gate, proudly shouting:
"Where's the groom? Come out and get in the sedan chair!"
Upon hearing this, Li Fuqiang's face turned green, and he huddled in the corner, trembling: "I...I won't go! I won't go!"
Liu Xiuqin panicked and quickly pushed Li Guodong: "Old Li! Go and say something!"
Li Guodong forced himself to stand up, coughed twice to maintain a composed demeanor, and said, "Liu Hongmei! Don't be ridiculous! My son didn't see you taking a bath at all; this is all a misunderstanding!"
Liu Hongmei sneered, pulled out the confession with her fingerprint on it from her bosom, and slapped it open: "Misunderstanding? Everyone saw it last night, your son was trying to climb through my window and even tried to squeeze into my room!"
"It's all in black and white, and we've even put our fingerprints on it. Now you want to renege on your debt?"
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