Ning Bingyu looked at her and asked in a low voice, "This is something you wrote, right? I saw it in this folder."
Ning Yuan's drooping eyelashes trembled suddenly. It was after she had met that respectable "old man" that she had pieced together and written down the fragmented memories from her previous life.
Ning Bingyu said in a deep voice, "If you can understand the meaning of this song's lyrics, and be able to refuse to be subservient to others for the sake of your country and family, and do your best to attract investment, set up factories, and fight against international capital..."
His voice suddenly rose: "Then why can't you understand Anan?! Understand that he returned from hell, risking his life, surviving countless near-death experiences, and carrying a heavy burden forward?!"
"He endured those inhuman sufferings, just so he could return to you with dignity?! Why can't you just..."
Ning Yuan suddenly looked up, interrupting him in a hoarse voice: "Because it hurts!!"
Those beautiful eyes were now brimming with tears, and her gaze held an intense, unyielding pain.
Ning Bingyu froze, unable to utter another word.
Ning Yuan suddenly laughed, a laugh that looked more like crying, but her tears flowed even more fiercely.
"Yes...yes...of course I understand...of course I understand what is hidden yet great...but..."
She pressed her hand gently against her chest, as if a huge rock was blocking it, making it hard for her to breathe.
Tears streamed down her face as she cried out incoherently, "But...it hurts so much...it really hurts so much..."
"Brother, I don't want to see tomorrow for him! I don't want to walk the path he didn't finish! I don't want to see the world he didn't see! I don't want to!! I don't want to! I can't be great!!"
"It hurts so much! That feeling of suffocating to the point of soul-crushing, listening to the sound of the waves day and night... it hurts so much!!"
"I am such a despicable person! I am selfish! I don't want to experience the despair of his 'death' again!!!"
"I can't bring myself to tell him to stop serving the country, but I can't do it either. Every reunion means an even more painful separation. I don't want every hope to lead to the deepest despair!!"
Seeing her trembling body, Ning Bingyu immediately stepped forward to support her.
Ning Yuan sobbed uncontrollably, her whole body trembling violently, her sobs suppressed and painful—
"Big brother... tell me... what should I do?! A person's heart can break. If it happens twice more, I'm afraid I won't be able to mend my own heart. I'll really go crazy!! I'm going crazy, what will happen to Jiajia, what will happen?!"
All that facade of strength, all that deliberate composure, crumbled completely at this moment.
A flicker of heartache and reluctance crossed Ning Bingyu's eyes behind his glasses.
In his memory, she was always intelligent, cunning, and resilient; it seemed that nothing could truly defeat her.
When she failed, she wiped away her tears, got up, and tried to find another way!
He had never seen her so vulnerable, broken, and in such pain.
All that facade of strength, all that deliberate composure, at this moment, transformed into despair born from her clear-headed understanding.
Ning Bingyu gently patted her back, his voice hoarse: "...I know...I know...I won't say anything more, I won't pressure you anymore, it's my fault."
His gaze suddenly shifted, passing over Ning Yuan's head to the tall, upright figure that had quietly appeared at the study door.
Rong Zhaonan stood there, dressed in a crisp police superintendent uniform, his face expressionless.
But those deep eyes were already bloodshot, churning with a torrent of pain and self-reproach.
His tall figure stiffened slightly, the knuckles of his clenched fist turned white from the force, and his other hand unconsciously braced against the door frame, as if he needed leverage to stand steady.
Enemy bullets pierced through flesh and blood; the undercover agent faced a near-certain death...
All of this paled in comparison to the sheer agony of her desperate sobs that tore at his heart.
He never imagined that he was the source of her pain, time and time again...
Was it really that she married above her station, or that he married above his station and ruined her life?
He was prepared to sacrifice himself at any time, but he forgot what the term "family member of a martyr" entailed.
Does she have to become a martyr's family member again and again?
For the first time, he truly had a thought...
Perhaps... perhaps letting go and letting her live a peaceful and stable life is the best choice for her?
This thought, like a venomous snake, once it emerged, brought intense pain to even the breath.
No! He can't!
Just thinking about it made him feel like his own flesh was being torn apart!
My heart can't even beat!
Ning Bingyu looked at Rong Zhaonan's pale face and bloodshot eyes.
His eyes behind his glasses were filled with complex emotions, and his myriad thoughts finally turned into a barely audible sigh: "Little sister, life is only about 30,000 days. Living in the present is to make the most of the rest of your life. No one knows whether tomorrow or an accident will come first. You two should... have a good talk. I support whatever decision you make!"
Ning Bingyu's voice was hoarse with a hint of fatigue as he said, "I'll go take care of things now."
After saying that, Ning Bingyu turned and walked out of the study. He passed by Rong Zhaonan, patted him on the shoulder, and then closed the heavy mahogany door.
With a soft "click," the outside world was shut out.
It was as if this small space had been transformed into an airtight emotional prison belonging only to the two of them.
Rong Zhaonan looked at the petite figure trembling so close to him.
The scent emanating from her, a mixture of tears, despair, and a familiar fragrance, caused him unbearable heartache.
He walked slowly, step by step, toward her.
He reached out, his fingertips trembling almost imperceptibly, wanting to touch her pale cheeks and wipe away the tears on her face.
His fingertips, burning hot, were about to touch her skin—
Ning Yuan abruptly took a step back, avoiding his touch!
She raised her red eyes, her vision blurred by tears, but she still stared at him intently!
Those eyes were filled with pain, torment, anger, and an unfathomable fear and devastation!
This girl is like a little sun, incredibly resolute; she has never shown such an expression before...
It was him; he's the one who caused her so much pain...
Rong Zhaonan's outstretched hand froze in mid-air, his heart felt as if it were being squeezed tightly, the pain making it almost impossible for him to breathe.
He looked at her, his eyes reddening, and gently stroked her thin, frail shoulder: "Wife... I'm sorry! It's all my fault... I've made you suffer so much... endure so much hardship..."
Ning Yuan seemed to have gathered all her strength, sobbing and struggling with all her might, pushing against his firm chest!
"Let go! Don't hug me! Don't hug me anymore!"
The closest of relatives can be husband and wife... It's too painful to be the closest of relatives!
She didn't want to be close to him, nor did she want his tenderness; she wanted to be a couple with a completely distant relationship!
That way, I won't miss his taste for the rest of my life!
I will not live in constant fear of loss! I will not drown in the abyss of despair in the dead of night!
Only then can I survive with my child...
She was like a hedgehog, desperately curling up, using all her quills to build a wall to protect herself and her cubs.
Rong Zhaonan felt as if an invisible hand was gripping his heart tightly, the pain making it almost impossible for him to breathe: "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
He remained motionless, letting her vent her anger.
Her fist wasn't heavy, but when it hit him, it felt like it hit his heart, causing him excruciating pain.
Ning Yuan kept pounding, but felt her strength gradually running out, and she couldn't break free!
Enraged, she raised her hand and, with tears in her eyes, slapped him twice across his handsome face: "I told you to let go! Didn't you hear me?!"
The crisp "snap! snap" sound echoed in the quiet study.
Rong Zhaonan didn't even frown; his deep eyes were filled with even deeper pain and an overwhelming heartache.
Ning Yuan's hand froze in mid-air, trembling slightly.
She looked at the red marks on his face and his red eyes, but she couldn't lift her hand, and it finally fell limply to her side.
She just cried, cried her heart out.
Rong Zhaonan could no longer hold back!
He tightened his arms around her, holding her with all his might, as if he wanted to meld her into his very bones!
Rong Zhaonan buried his face deeply in her fragrant hair.
Hot liquid slid down from his bloodshot eyes, soaking her hair.
It was as if she wanted to vent all the pain and longing she had felt over the years.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, honey... I'm back, I really... am back!"
He held her tightly, like a drowning person grasping at the only piece of driftwood.
"Forgive me... my wife... please... forgive me, please... don't leave me... don't leave me..."
He repeated it over and over, his voice hoarse and nasal, like a helpless child pleading in a low voice.
The person in his arms gradually stopped struggling.
Her body continued to tremble violently, and her suppressed sobs turned into uncontrollable wailing.
"Rong Zhaonan...you bastard!! Bastard!!!"
But the one she liked...
He's still the same as always!
"asshole..."
Ning Yuan's voice gradually lowered, carrying a weary sense of resignation: "You bastard..."
Rong Zhaonan gently cupped her face in his palms, his thin lips trembling as he pressed them against her tear-streaked face, whispering through his tears, "Then please, don't abandon this bastard, okay... I'll give you anything, my wife."
She was the obsession that brought him back from hell.
It was the only warm light in the darkness...
Day and night...
Every time his hand was in excruciating pain, his only thought was to return to her side...
Time seemed to freeze at that moment.
They stood embracing each other, like two survivors clinging to one another in a storm.
Tears mingled, breaths mingled, and the sound of heartbeats could be clearly heard in the quiet space.
To be continued...
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