Chapter 137 The Past "This is the festival."
In spring, there are quite a few pleasure boats on Lake Taihu. In order to show her reconciliation intention, Song Jin no longer bears a grudge against Ji Shubai as before. She specially wears the clothes that Ji Shubai gave her, and even adds a sachet, as a gesture of goodwill.
How could Ji Shubai not understand the meaning? He laughed in surprise when he saw it for the first time.
He was still dressed in emerald green clothes, shining brightly on the bank of Taihu Lake in spring.
"I've been waiting for you for a long time, and I thought you weren't coming."
He walked over with a smile, greeted Song Jin and got on the pleasure boat. The huge pleasure boat carried the two of them to Taihu Lake.
"Will you feel cold?"
Song Jin nodded: "A little bit."
Ji Shubai took her into the cabin.
He chose the pleasure boat for a reason. It was secluded and no outsiders could see it, so there would naturally be fewer rumors.
Now he has made up his mind, but Song Jin is a little hesitant. He doesn't dare to go to Song Jin as openly as before. He can only find a way to ask her out and then slowly test her feelings.
Song Jin was thinking of taking advantage of her first and then doing anything else. He didn't acknowledge the emotional debt anyway and wanted to marry her just to make himself feel less guilty. Instead of exchanging this guilt for a fake marriage, it would be better to exchange it for money. When his guilt was gone, she might not be able to take advantage of him even if she wanted to.
She thought, once she had money, everything would be easy. Once she had money, she could find an illiterate son-in-law, win over the servants, and still run her family stably.
The window of the cabin was open. Song Jin sat by the window. The morning sun shone on her face. She could see the sparkling lake and the mountains in the distance. She wrapped herself tightly and didn't feel cold at all.
Ji Shubai sat opposite her. Seeing her looking into the distance without saying anything, he did not disturb her. He just looked at her until Song Jin turned her head and met his eyes.
"Don't look at me like that." That look was so direct and naked that Song Jin was not used to it.
Ji Shubai smiled gently: "Do you remember the Lantern Festival, when we agreed to go for an outing and a boat trip on the lake when the weather got warmer? Now half of it has come true, and there is still the other half."
The implication was that he wanted to make another appointment with Song Jin. Of course Song Jin understood it, but he changed the subject.
"How did you bring out Hong Xing?" She wanted to know to what extent Ji Shubai had broken the rules.
Ji Shubai just smiled and said, "This isn't too difficult. A widower and a widower living under the same roof is prone to rumors. I just need to ask Hong Xing's family to bring a lawyer to the government office to file a complaint and return some of the betrothal gifts, and then the matter will be settled naturally."
"Does the government still care about this?"
"This is no small matter. If it comes true and is exposed, it will be a big scandal. The government doesn't want to see such a case. I just need to put pressure on Hong Xing's parents, give them a lawyer, and then give some instructions to the government, and the case will be quickly resolved. The Lin family has no choice but to agree."
Song Jin couldn't help but be amazed, it turns out there are so many twists and turns here.
Hong Xing still did not show up, and her fate was already controlled by several men outside.
Song Jin felt a little sad. She had thought about it countless times and found that there were only two good ways out. One was for Old Lu to die and make the Lu family extinct. Then she would have the opportunity to become the head of the household and own her own property. The other was to find a good man to marry, or marry into the family and give her a soft persimmon to bully. There was no other way out.
She couldn't kill Lao Lu, and Lao Lu looked like he was still alive and well, and he kept urging her to get married to Ji Shubai.
Song Jin couldn't help but look at Ji Shubai, and couldn't help asking himself: Is he a good man or a soft persimmon?
"If we take Hong Xing away like this, won't her family come looking for her in the future?"
Ji Shubai smiled lightly and took out a piece of deed from his bosom: "I bought it. Now I hand it over to you. If you need any help, please tell me."
When Song Jin opened it, he found that it was a new-style contract, somewhat similar to Chunyun's marriage certificate. From then on, Hong Xing no longer belonged to the Liu family, but to Ji Shubai, who then gave the document to Song Jin.
"If Hong Xing returns home, she will probably remarry immediately. I asked her what she thought and she didn't want to go home, so I sent her to you."
"Why don't you stay here by yourself? I see there's no woman serving you in your room."
Song Jin's slightly probing question made Ji Shubai somewhat happy.
"I'm used to Qingshan being alone, and there will be people in the government office to handle some affairs, so I don't need so many servants."
Song Jin stared into his eyes, pondering the meaning of these words.
The reason why there was no need for so many servants was that he had no intention of bringing them into the room, and he had never even thought about it.
In this feudal society, is this considered a good man?
Seeing her staring at him, Ji Shubai leaned forward and asked, "Do you have any questions for me?"
Song Jin was still thinking about Ji Shubai's character and his own future. He was stumped by this question and quickly shook his head and said no.
"You obviously have it. You can ask whatever you want today."
Ji Shubai's tone was like coaxing a child. Song Jin was a little uncomfortable with it and kept scratching the table legs with his fingers.
"Do you remember the Lantern Festival?"
On the Lantern Festival, Song Jin met Miss Pei and her mother. Ji Shubai seemed to have a bad relationship with her. Song Jin really wanted to know the answer at that time, and Ji Shubai agreed to tell her. Unfortunately, after what happened later, Song Jin gave up the idea of being with Ji Shubai and lost a lot of curiosity.
Ji Shubai took the initiative to bring it up today, and seemed ready to pour out. Song Jin was a little overwhelmed, as if her pretense met her sincerity, and she felt a little guilty.
"If you want to talk, just say it. If you don't want to talk, I won't ask."
"I'll tell you if you want to hear it. Do you want to hear it?"
Song Jin lowered his head, so panicked that he could hear his own heartbeat.
She was not a person who liked to pry into other people's privacy, unless she wanted to have a close future with this person, so she wanted to know, but she didn't get what she wanted at that time. Now that Ji Shubai asked her if she wanted to listen, Song Jin naturally understood it as whether she wanted to have a closer future with me.
She's not sure.
"Well, it's up to you."
"Miss Pei's mother is my aunt's sister. Miss Pei is the wife my uncle chose for me. My uncle and I have a deep grudge against each other."
Ji Shubai changed his initial gentle tone and spoke these simple words in a low and serious voice, as if he was revealing a big secret after careful consideration.
Song Jin discovered the secret, but it was too late to retreat.
"What, a holiday?"
"My father was the admiral of Fujian Sea Route. You should know this, right?"
Song Jin nodded. This was gossip she heard at the dinner table of Lord Censor hosted by the Chai family. Later, she heard the follow-up from Qingshan, that Lord Ji died in office. Ji Shubai was not born yet at that time, so he was a posthumous child.
"My father was fighting pirates in Fujian. At that time, Japanese pirates were not rampant. Most of the coastal pirates were actually coastal people. In order to survive, they had to go out to sea to find a way out."
Ji Shubai turned his face to the window, looking at the lake. His expression became heavy, as if he was trapped in unpleasant memories.
"That year, the sea had not yet been opened, so my father naturally wanted to attack those people, which meant attacking his own people. The better this matter was done, the more people would be cut off from their financial resources, and the more hatred he would attract."
"He did a good job, commanding a large army and attacking pirate ships one after another, until someone handed a memorial to the emperor, accusing him of treason."
"My father was imprisoned. Treason was a serious crime, and everyone in the mansion, including my mother, was not exempted. She was already pregnant at that time, and I was born in prison."
Ji Shubai paused when he said this. Song Jin never expected that the story would start like this. Now it seems that it is not appropriate to tell her on the Lantern Festival.
"Perhaps only when people reach that point do they realize that the truth is not that important. The court sent people to investigate, but no one knew when they would arrive. My mother couldn't bear it and had to give birth. There was no midwife, no one, only a cell. When my father found out..."
"Anyway, my father died in prison before anyone could find out the truth. The squad leader found a midwife for my mother, so that I could be born."
"Later, my mother was released and returned to Suzhou with the help of her former subordinates. She raised me in the old house you visited."
Ji Shu's spoken vernacular was not very fluent. He kept stopping and starting. Song Jin didn't dare to urge him and just listened silently.
"My father's death was unclear, and his crime was not determined, but it was enough for the tribe to distance themselves from him, my mother and me."
"I was still young at that time and didn't understand many things. I only saw that the tables, chairs and benches at home were replaced from huanghuali to fir every once in a while, and the house became more and more simple. My mother only taught me to study and told me to have a promising future. She hoped that I could clear my father's name."
"But my father, what crime has he committed?"
Ji Shubai let out a long sigh, as if pouring out years of resentment.
"I had no relatives when I was young. It was not until I passed the imperial examination that my family had relatives and my parents' tablets were able to be placed in the Ji family's ancestral hall."
He smiled sadly at Song Jin: "This is a festival."
A child who grew up with a stigma, a child who was forgotten by his family, on the day he became successful, suddenly many relatives and friends showed up. No one can accept it calmly.
However, this uncle, who never provided help when he needed it most as a child, arranged a marriage for him when he grew up, and his refusal to marry was a form of protest.
"What about your mother?" Song Jin asked tentatively.
"She didn't live to see the day when I passed the imperial examination."
Ji Shubai summarized his tragic past and his mother's miserable half-life in a few short sentences, skipping over many details. He was afraid of scaring Song Jin, but he had to fulfill his promise and tell her why he was not on good terms with Mrs. Pei and why he refused to marry Miss Pei.
His mother's toiling figure under the lamp, her crying in the middle of the night, and the family disputes during his childhood, shrouded Ji Shubai like a nightmare. He only realized many things after he grew up.
For example, why did the mother insist on remaining faithful to her husband? She didn’t want to remain faithful to her husband, but to protect her son.
He thought more than once that if his mother had not become pregnant with him, would she have chosen to remarry instead of insisting on staying in the old house to take care of him, her son, in the name of keeping her chastity for his sake? As a result, those who coveted the house bullied her in every way, but they could do nothing about it.
If it weren't for his mother's insistence, he wouldn't dare to imagine what his situation would be like now. It's a pity that the mother changed her son's fate, but the son didn't have time to change his mother's fate.
He dared not even think about it. If one day he unfortunately followed his father's path, what would happen to his wife and children? Would they become another mother and himself?
He didn't dare to think about it, so he, a perfectly good person, insisted on delaying his marriage until today.
Thinking of this, Ji Shubai hung his head as if he had lost his strength, with one arm limply resting on the table. Song Jin saw his pale face, which looked like a porcelain doll against the green satin clothes and would break if touched.
Ji Shubai was really about to break.
He felt hatred when he thought of the past that could not be changed and the faces of his clansmen when they were fighting for the family property.
I hate my own incompetence, I hate my people’s ruthlessness, and I hate many things that cannot be expressed in words.
For example, he actually hated official disputes. His father died in these disputes. Rebellion was just a cover, and he was not happy with his job as an official.
He liked to be close to Song Jin, not only because of her intelligence and tenacity, but also because of her unsuccessful persuasion by the Wusong River. He refuted her verbally, but he agreed with her in his heart.
Song Jin had no idea what he was really thinking at the moment, he just felt sad when he recalled his unpleasant past.
She wanted to comfort him, but she didn't know how, so she reached out and held his hand tightly.
"Well, you, don't be sad."
Words were pale and powerless, so Song Jin simply shut up and stopped talking.
Ji Shubai held Song Jin's hand back, even harder than hers, so hard that it hurt a little.
"Don't hate me too much, okay?"
Saying no at this time seems unlikely.
"I don't hate you."
"That's not what you said in court that day."
When talking about the court, Song Jin was also sad, but it was not easy to blame him at this moment.
"No, I forgot about it a long time ago."
"Really?" His tone was better than before.
"real."
Ji Shubai squeezed Song Jin's hand tightly with some joy. When Song Jin realized something was wrong and wanted to pull it away, it was too late.
Ji Shubai succeeded and was visibly happy.
"Tell me about your story, okay?"
"What?"
"Your father, your mother, your past, and your future."
He wanted to know everything, but Song Jin avoided him.
Old Lu often went to the Ji family, and he inevitably ran into Ji Shubai during this period. Seeing that his daughter had been wronged and her reputation had been damaged, he was eager to find someone to marry his daughter off as soon as possible.
Seeing that his daughter was not making any move, he started to set his sights on Ji Shubai, repeatedly hinting to him that no one wanted his daughter.
Ji Shubai could of course hear it, but he had already asked, and Song Jin refused to agree, so he had to retreat and wanted to slowly get closer to her, so he also asked about her family, hoping to get closer to her.
But Song Jin's first reaction was the family in that world.
She pulled her hand away suddenly, and cold sweat broke out on her back.
"I, I don't have anything to say."
Ji Shubai sensed her resistance and felt disappointed. If he could talk about his shameful past, what else could she not say?
Song Jin doesn't want to say it. He doesn't want to say it now, he didn't want to say it in the past, and he won't want to say it in the future.
What can we say about the past of a marginalized person in society? Ji Shubai's father might have been wronged, but her father was not.
She is truly the daughter of a criminal, and this identity will make her unable to hold her head up high for the rest of her life.
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