Chapter 85 Apologies, I hope you are safe and sound.
Song Jin believed that she was not a conscienceless person. She admitted that she was angry with Ji Shubai, not only because of the molestation, but also because of the misunderstandings caused by her unclear words that day.
But when it came to really going to apologize, she became afraid. He already got angry whenever that matter was mentioned, so wouldn't he get even angrier if she brought it up again? What if she got burned by the anger?
Her ability to resist Ji Shubai's attacks is almost zero.
Now Qingshan came to her and asked her to apologize and let him live a good life. She thought about it again and again and decided to go.
After walking slowly to the door of Ji Shubai's study, Song Jin stopped again.
"You should go." Qingshan urged her.
"I'm thinking about how to start."
Qingshan sighed and said, "Just wait."
After saying that, he turned and left, and when he came back, he was holding a cup of tea in his hand.
"Bring it in and talk nicely."
Song Jin went to the study room with a cup of Anji white tea. Ji Shubai thought it was Qingshan coming in and did not look up until Song Jin whispered, "Master Ji, please have some tea."
Ji Shubai looked up blankly: "Why is it you?"
The tone is unfriendly.
Song Jin frowned, lowered his head, and silently passed the tea forward.
"What do you want to talk to me about?"
"......without."
"Then go back."
You're here now.
Song Jin did not leave. He held the cup of tea in front of Ji Shubai. After a while, it was taken by a pair of hands, followed by a slight sound.
Ji Shubai didn't drink the tea, but put it aside.
The study was extremely quiet. Song Jin stood there and spoke slowly.
"Sir, I was too talkative that day and said something I shouldn't have said. I hope you won't be angry."
She didn't hear Ji Shubai talking, she only heard the sound of papers shuffling on the table, and after a while a voice came.
"knew."
Song Jin sighed in his heart, this person is really difficult to deal with.
She stood there without moving or speaking, and the sound of Ji Shubai flipping through the book also stopped.
"I know you are dissatisfied, but sometimes being dissatisfied is useless. Don't mention these things again in the future."
After Ji Shubai finished speaking, seeing that Song Jin still didn't leave, he had to add: "I said that I won't bother you about what happened that day, so don't worry about what I will do to you."
Song Jin felt mixed emotions. If he was bad, he was pretty good. If he was good, he had a bad temper and would lose his temper easily. As a slave, she could only be humble and submissive, which made her unwilling but helpless.
But she remembered one thing, which was the class that Qingshan had once told her about.
Given her status, being able to sit at the same table with Ji Shubai to eat meant that in this society, he was not just tolerant of her, but overly indulgent.
It was because it went too far that she couldn't help but talk more.
After Ji Shubai expressed his opinion, Song Jin had no way to continue speaking. He had to turn around and walked out sullenly, swallowing all the words he had prepared in his mind.
Song Jin was in a bad mood and was very confused. On the one hand, he knew clearly that he should curry favor with Ji Shubai. After all, even Gao Ce had to praise him. If he had any problems in the future, the only person who could have a say would probably be this man.
On the other hand, she also knew that Ji Shubai would not like her. She was a crooked tree and he didn't like her.
Comparing the two, Song Jin felt a little inferior, just like a clown hiding in the corner and unwilling to see the light.
It’s okay if you can’t see the light, but if you see it, you will feel inferior.
Ji Shubai is that light.
They all received education. When Song Jin was in kindergarten, he aspired to be an upright person, an ambitious person, and a shining person.
But somehow, she had gone astray silently, and now she was forcing Ji Shubai to go astray with her. Even when she did good things, people would suspect she had ulterior motives. She didn't even have a chance to defend herself, and Ji Shubai didn't blame her at all, which made her look even more like a villain.
The past thirty years have taught her not to defend herself, just find the right target and go for it, and don't care about rumors. But when she knew that Ji Shubai also had infinite prejudice in his heart, she wanted to argue, but he didn't give her a chance, and blocked all the roads as soon as he opened his mouth.
Song Jin walked out in silence. A huge feeling of loneliness came over her like a flood, drowning her in an instant.
Now she has no one to talk to.
She wanted to find a corner to stay in. For some reason, this time she wanted to hide and cry.
"Miss Lu T."
Ji Shubai called softly from behind. Song Jin looked up blankly, only to find that he had not yet reached the door.
She was worried, and her feet felt like they were filled with lead. Her past and present lives went through her mind, but she hadn't walked very far.
"Are you worried?"
Song Jin turned around blankly, and seeing Ji Shubai's serious expression, he nodded woodenly: "Yeah, I'm worried."
Ji Shubai closed the book in his hand and said, "Sit down and talk."
Song Jin moved blankly to an armchair at the bottom with his back to the window and sat down.
"What's going on?"
Ji Shubai had good intentions, but Song Jin couldn't speak.
What did she say? Did she say that she felt lonely because no one understood her? Did she say that she wasn't that bad? Did she say that she wanted Ji Shubai to be nicer to her?
"I miss home."
Ji Shubai sighed: "We will go to Wujiang County in two days. I will speed up and return soon."
Song Jin was speechless, tears were falling down her face, Ji Shubai was confused.
"What happened?"
Honesty is a magical thing. When you don’t value it anymore, you just throw it away. When you value it again and want to pick it up, you can never get it back.
She couldn't tell the truth to Ji Shubai. Ji Shubai naturally didn't care about the place, but she couldn't tell the truth to anyone.
She is destined to be lonely.
Song Jin couldn't answer, and Ji Shubai frowned. He was not good at guessing what women were thinking.
"Was I too fierce before?"
Song Jin shook his head.
"Who made things difficult for you?"
Song Jin still shook his head.
"Did I say too much that day?"
Song Jin raised his head, with a strange light in his eyes, a mixture of tears and hope.
"You misunderstood me."
Whether he was fierce or not was secondary. The misunderstanding that could not be resolved made her feel aggrieved. Ji Shubai's identity made him not care about Song Jin's small collision at all, just like a millionaire would not mind losing a piece of gold, and a beggar would cherish a dirty steamed bun in his hand.
Song Jin wanted very much to verify his identity.
Ji Shubai was stunned: "How did I misunderstand you?"
"That day by the Wusong River, you misunderstood what I said."
Ji Shubai remembered that day when she scolded Gao Ce as a devil who sucked the blood of the lower-class people, scolded scholars for being only concerned with their own interests and not caring about the lives of the people, and advised him to stay away from him if he could not change these things.
He didn't think it was a misunderstanding. She cursed him clearly and unambiguously, so how could there be any misunderstanding?
"Tell me what kind of misunderstanding it is."
Song Jin was speechless again: "I told you, you should scold me again."
"So you are still the one who speaks harshly."
Song Jin felt deflated, hung his head and said nothing, then started crying again.
Ji Shubai raised his hands in surrender: "Okay, okay, tell me, what misunderstanding happened between us that day."
Song Jin finally spoke: "I don't mean to curse, I just...I feel...I feel that this situation is somewhat familiar."
"Oh, does that look familiar?"
Song Jin raised his head and stared at Ji Shubai with his eyes, making him feel uneasy.
"Have you ever heard of Huo Guang?"
Ji Shubai's fingertips on the table trembled: "What do you mean?"
Song Jin lowered his head again: "I can't tell you. If I tell you, you will question me."
Ji Shubai then realized that Song Jin had taken a huge detour that day and in the end he didn't get to the point.
Because we can’t talk about it, or it’s too risky to talk about it.
He suddenly stood up. Song Jin was startled and thought he was going to scold him again, but he walked straight to the door and called Qingshan.
"Stand guard at the door. Report if anyone comes."
After that, he closed the door and sat down opposite Song Jin: "Go on."
Song Jin was a little uncomfortable with it.
Ji Shubai was wearing a blue official robe, sitting facing the window, and his whole body was shrouded in a layer of light. Because the door was closed, the light in the room dimmed, making him look like an old movie with the definition adjusted.
Simple and clear, familiar and painful, like the old days that cannot be traced back in memory.
"Don't you think that some people in our dynasty are very similar to Huo Guang back then?"
Ji Shubai lowered his eyes in silence, did not respond, and clenched his hands slightly.
"In terms of power, Huo Guang established the emperor and also deposed him, which is not small. In terms of favor, Liu Bingyi lived among the people for several years, but was able to ascend the throne again just because of his recommendation, which is not small, but what was the result?"
The result is well known to everyone.
Liu Bingyi changed his name to Liu Xun, ascended the throne, and entrusted the government to Huo Guang.
Saying that he was entrusting power to someone else was just an excuse. He had to entrust power to someone else, otherwise he would be the second Liu He, who was deposed in less than a month.
When Song Jin first heard this name, he thought that this person was only able to make his mark in Chang'an by relying on his brother Huo Qubing's power. But later on, he discovered that this person had far-reaching plans.
When it comes to powerful ministers, people always have the impression that they are cunning, arrogant and domineering, and that they scare the emperor so much that he dares not say no. In fact, this is indeed the case, but it is also more than that.
In terms of strategy, he was able to leave evidence when establishing the emperor so that he could be deposed at any time.
In terms of arrogance, Xian dared to poison the queen and forced his own daughter to become the queen.
But it’s more than that.
Historical records show that this man was steady and taciturn, and gained the trust of Emperor Wu in the late period of his reign. He became one of the appointed assistant ministers. Later, he did not lose out in the power struggle with Shangguan Jie, and his ultimate victory speaks volumes.
But even so, they cannot avoid the fate of being exterminated after death.
Ji Shubai disagreed: "Of course it's different. Although Huo Guang is mature and prudent, the Huo family is not. If Huo Xian hadn't poisoned the queen, this disaster might not have happened."
"Do you think that Emperor Xuan learned the truth about Empress Xu's death only after Huo Guang died?"
Ji Shubai was speechless for a moment, and Song Jin asked again: "Let me ask it another way. If Emperor Xuan had known the truth long ago, do you think he would be angry? If he didn't know the truth, why did he know the truth so quickly after Huo Guang died?"
Ji Shubai's pupils were trembling visibly.
Because those at the top of power are always hated.
I can't stand you when you are alive, but it's a different story after you die.
It was only two short years from the time Huo Guang was given a grand funeral to the time his clan was exterminated.
Two years was exactly the time from Zhang Juzheng's death to his house being ransacked.
History is always so clever.
"No...No, stop exaggerating!"
Ji Shubai was sitting leisurely at first, with his knees wide open and his arms resting on the armrests of the chair, but now he looked panicked, even his knees were slightly brought together, and his hands were pinching his knees nervously.
This sentence didn't seem to be spoken to Song Jin, but more like it was used to cheer myself up.
"Let's not talk about how much the Prime Minister has become attached to the Empress Dowager..."
Ji Shubai suddenly stopped talking here. You know, the empress dowager during Emperor Xuan's reign was the granddaughter of Huo Guang.
He immediately changed his words, as if trying to convince himself: "The Prime Minister is still young, and his power is not as great as Huo Guang's. He can make or break an emperor, and he holds military power. He is no threat to Your Majesty."
"Isn't he familiar with General Qi and General Li?"
Ji Shubai's breathing became rapid, and his tone began to become confused: "No, the emperor is young, and he still needs to rely on the Prime Minister to lead all officials and govern the court. It won't be like you said..."
"It is said that the emperor is a dragon. Regardless of whether it is true or not, if he is really a dragon, how can he accept relying on others all the time, unless he is useless."
"you--"
For Ji Shubai, insulting the emperor is a serious crime, but now is not the time to worry about it.
"Have you ever heard a saying, sir?"
"What?"
"A great favor is like a great revenge."
Ji Shubai closed his eyes, his lips trembling, trying to think of something to refute Song Jin's point of view. However, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that what Song Jin said made sense.
"No, no, it's different now."
He slowly opened his eyes, already covered in cold sweat.
"The situation may be different, but people's hearts remain unchanged for thousands of years."
Song Jin spoke in a deep voice, sentencing the thoughts in his mind to death.
"I shouldn't have said this to you, sir. It's not appropriate for me to say this. But you have done me a favor, and I have nothing to repay you with. I have said it all today just to remind you that some things are bound to happen. As for how to deal with them, that is your business."
"Anyway, I hope you're safe and sound."
Song Jin told all his thoughts and immediately felt relieved.
"Are you saying this to repay a favor?" Ji Shubai didn't quite understand. In his mind, Song Jin was not a good person.
He could list a lot of his shortcomings, such as greed for money, constant lying, evil intentions, and lack of etiquette.
As for the pros...
"Bad people sometimes do good things, and good people sometimes do bad things. Just like the Prime Minister, no matter how much you think his actions are beneficial to the Ming Dynasty, it does not prevent some people from hating him."
"Whether I am a good person or a bad person depends on the person who is evaluating me. To you, I am a scheming person who has framed others. I am definitely not a good person. But to those who left their citizenship with me, I am a great benefactor."
"Your Excellency is on the opposite side of me, so naturally you dislike me. I have something to ask of you, so naturally I have to please you in every way."
"Sir, there is no right or wrong in this matter, it's just a different standpoint."
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