As Ning Shi spoke, his emotions became calmer.
She had a kind of calmness that was detached from the world.
It's like there's some kind of emotion hidden deep inside, unknown to others; it's also like he feels that the past is no longer important.
Lanxiang, on the other hand, was still immersed in anger.
After saying that he would continue with acupuncture tomorrow, Qiao Er took Jinglan away.
Ning Shi walked out of the room somewhat woodenly.
The sunlight was a little dazzling, and she raised her hand to block it out uncomfortably.
She stood at the door, wondering what she was thinking.
After a long time, she walked out to the small pavilion in the yard and sat there quietly.
Zhang You found a place with a good view and observed her.
They were quite far apart, and Zhang You couldn't see her expression clearly.
Ning Shi sat dejectedly on the stone steps at the exit of the pavilion. Her hair was a little messy when she woke up, and she had no time to tidy it up. At this moment, a few strands of hair were fluttering in the breeze.
The corners of the dress were blown by the wind and fluttered slightly.
She stared at the flowers and plants in front of her, motionless.
Zhang You watched her like this from the side, and was infected by her emotions for a moment, and remained silent.
Matters of the heart have always been complicated.
They are all outsiders.
They all just listened to Ning Shi talk about the past.
But those past events were her whole life.
She needs to slowly digest the past.
You also need to figure it out on your own and accept your past self.
"How long has she been like this?"
Lanxiang approached Zhang You without knowing when.
"About half an hour."
"She just sits there like this?"
"Oh, maybe I'm thinking about the past again.
Let her be quiet and think about it."
“It can’t always be like this.
What if I get stuck in a dead end?
"Too."
If she thought clearly, she wouldn't be schizophrenic.
Lanxiang walked over first, and Zhang You followed behind her.
"Hour? Are you okay?"
She asked softly, as if she was afraid to disturb her.
Ning Shi raised his head a little slowly and looked at Lanxiang with dull eyes.
"If there is anything that makes you unhappy, you can tell us."
Lanxiang reached out, patted her shoulder, and sat down with her on the stone steps.
Zhang You also sat on the other side of Ning Shi.
"Yeah, it will feel better if you say it out loud."
Ning Shi turned his head back again and continued to stare at the flowers and plants in a daze.
She was silent for a long time.
It was so long that Zhang You thought she wouldn't speak, and then she spoke.
"My mother died when I was young, and it was my wet nurse who raised me.
I was weak and sickly at that time.
My wet nurse stayed by my side every night, fearing that I wouldn't make it.
At that time, everyone in the mansion was doting on Ning Shiyu, and all the good things were given to her.
I have been envious and jealous too.
But the wet nurse said.
I have to endure it.
I can't resist them.
I am too weak.
My life or death depends solely on their mood.
So, I can't resist.
so……
Ning Shiyu snatched away the few dowries that my mother left me.
I endured it.
Ning Shiyu cut down the pear tree that my mother planted for me in the yard.
I held back too.
Ning Shiyu took advantage of the wet nurse's absence to force me to kneel on the ground and bark like a dog, and forced me to eat the vegetable leaves that fell on the ground.
I held back too.
Until that year, a plague broke out in the city.
I am infected.
The wet nurse didn't want to see me suffer, so she knelt in the lady's courtyard and begged bitterly.
She begged for a long time, but the eldest lady ignored her.
Ning Shiyu came out and said that if she wanted to get the medicine, she had to kneel on the gravel road for a night.
Ning Shiyu also specially asked people to prepare a lot of sharp and uneven stones to lay on it.
The wet nurse knelt like this all night...
The wet nurse's legs were crippled at that time.
Every time I stand up, I have to endure tremendous pain.
The wet nurse got medicine for me, but lost her own legs.
But……
My wet nurse...she didn't survive the plague...
She died not from the plague, but from their power.
The wet nurse was beaten to death by the eldest lady on the pretext that she was infected with the plague."
Ning Shi's expression was moved when he talked about this.
“My wet nurse was old and had been taking care of me day and night, so she exhausted herself.
But she didn't have an epidemic disease, just a common cold.
I begged for a long time...
But they didn't believe it.
They only believe what they think.
My wet nurse...left me.
At that time, the bodies of all those who died of the plague would be collected and burned together.
I can't even... can't even tell which piece of ash is the wet nurse's...
At that time, I couldn't resist at all.
I'm so useless...
All I could do was sneak out of the house and watch the wet nurse's body, piled up with those festering and pus-oozing bodies, being devoured by the flames bit by bit.
I can only send her off..."
Her voice was choked with sobs.
“Every day in Ning Mansion.
I almost want to kill them.
But I can't do it.
Ning Shiyu could only treat me like a plaything, calling me when she wanted and sending me away when she wanted.
To entertain her.
How ridiculous.
They are all children of the Ning family.
She is the center of attention and is doted on.
And I am not even as good as a dog.
My father never looked at me straight in the eye from beginning to end.
Every time he glances at me, his eyes seem to be stained with something dirty.
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