Chapter 192: Dreaming of a Cold Night, Hiding a Sharp Heart
The cool night dew of late autumn seeped in through the half-open window lattices of Shufangzhai, condensing into a thin layer of water droplets on the crabapple petals on the windowsill. Moonlight poured down like mercury, gilding the delicately carved window lattices with a silvery glow. The chirping of insects in the courtyard had long since died, leaving only the occasional rustle of leaves in the wind.
Little Swallow lay in bed, covered by a quilt embroidered with lotus flowers. Her brows were furrowed in her sleep, and her lips, once relaxed, were pursed into a tight line. Her breathing became increasingly rapid, her chest rising and falling, and a fine layer of cold sweat formed on her forehead, soaking even the strands of hair at her temples.
Dreams came like a tide, bringing with them a biting chill.
It was the same cold side hall, the dim flickering candlelight shattering the shadows on the wall. The air was thick with the pungent bitterness of medicine, but it couldn't overpower the faint sweet aroma—the scent of golden bird's nest, the "tonic" sent by Concubine Gao. She lay on the cold bed, covered by a thick brocade quilt, yet it felt like she had fallen into an ice cellar. Her limbs felt heavy as if they were filled with lead, and she couldn't even move her fingertips.
"Princess... please hold on a little longer..." Mingyue held her hand, her shoulders shaking from crying, her fingertips icy cold. Xiaoyanzi struggled to move her eyes and saw Yongqi standing by the bed. His dark brocade robe made his face appear even paler, his lips tightly pursed. Pain welled in his eyes, yet he fought to hold back the tears. Ziwei was half-supported by Erkang, her clothes wet with tears. The fingertips of his other hand trembled slightly, "Xiaoyanzi... let's go see the peach blossoms together..."
In the shadows of the doorway, Liu Qing clenched his fists, his knuckles white. Liu Hong had already collapsed from sobbing. Those familiar faces, those heartbreaking cries, pierced her heart like needles. She wanted to say, "I'm not afraid," to reach up and touch their faces, but her throat felt like it was clogged with hot cotton wool, and she could only breathe in thin, gossamer breaths.
Life force slowly drained from her fingertips, her body aching with cold even to the very bones. She cast one last glance out the window at the palace walls, stained white by moonlight. The red walls that had trapped her for half her life now seemed like an icy boundary, separating life from death. As her consciousness faded, she seemed to hear the young eunuch's shrill cry piercing the night: "Princess Huanzhu... has passed away!"
"don't want--!"
Xiaoyanzi suddenly sat up from the bed, her chest heaving violently. Cold sweat trickled down her cheeks, dripping onto her moon-white nightgown, leaving a small dark stain. She gasped for breath, her fingertips tightly gripping the quilt, her knuckles white from the strain, her heart pounding as if she had just escaped from an icy cellar.
"Princess? What's wrong with you?" Mingyue was awakened by her movement and hurriedly came in from the outer room carrying a candlestick. In the flickering candlelight, she saw Xiaoyanzi's pale face. She was so scared that her hands trembled and the candlestick almost fell to the ground. "Did you have a nightmare? You look so bad!"
Xiaoyanzi gathered herself, gazing at the familiar crabapple blossoms embroidered on the tent ceiling and breathing in the faint, soothing fragrance. Only then did she slowly pull herself away from the suffocating nightmare. She took the handkerchief Mingyue offered her and vigorously wiped the sweat from her forehead. The chill lingered on her fingertips—the lingering chill of the hands that had held Ziwei and Mingyue's before their deaths.
"It's okay..." She spoke hoarsely, her voice still filled with fear, "I just... dreamed about things from the past."
Mingyue poured her a glass of warm water with concern: "Princess, drink some water to calm down. It's cold at night, do you want an extra blanket?"
Xiaoyanzi took the cup of water, and the warmth spread through her fingertips, slightly dispelling the chill in her heart. She held the cup, her eyes fixed on the moonlight outside the window, and she was transported back to the Jiangnan region of her fifteen-year-old self.
She had just woken from a near-death fever, lying in the elegant boudoir of the Jiangnan Fang Mansion. Outside the carved window, birds chirped, and the sweet fragrance of white orchids wafted through the air. Her mother sat by her bed, wiping her face with a warm handkerchief, her fingertips soft and warm. Her brother, Fang Yan (Xiao Jian), opened the door and entered, holding a freshly picked plum. He smiled and said, "Now that the fever is gone, you'll have a treat."
"Ci'er, you have a high fever. Is your brain damaged? You don't even recognize your home?" The mother's gentle voice still echoed in his ears, with a look of pity and anger.
She clutched her mother's hand, gazed at her brother's familiar features, tears streaming down her face like beads from a broken string—she had truly returned, back to Jiangnan, where her parents were still alive and her brother was by her side, back to her age, before she was embroiled in the turmoil of the imperial court. She vowed to herself then: in this lifetime, she would stay with her family, stay away from the Forbidden City, and never again experience the separation of life and death.
But fate eventually pushed her back to the palace walls.
"Princess? What are you thinking about?" Mingyue asked softly when she saw her lost in thought.
Xiaoyanzi came back to her senses, shook her head, and put the cup of water on the bedside: "Nothing. I just suddenly remembered... the year I first arrived in Jiangnan, I also had a high fever. I was confused and thought I would never wake up again." She avoided the word "rebirth" and only spoke what she could.
Mingyue smiled and said, "That was all in my childhood. Now, Gege is blessed. In the palace, the Emperor loves me, the Fifth Prince protects me, and I have Gege Mingzhu as my companion. Life is much more lively than when I was in Jiangnan."
Is it lively? Little Swallow gazed out the window at the darkening night, a bitterness welling up in her heart. The bustle of Jiangnan is the tranquility of family leisure, enjoying plum blossoms and wine; the bustle of the palace, however, always hides the unseen flashes of swords and sabers. Just like tonight's dream, it reminded her of her past life's demise—the bowl of golden bird's nest that Concubine Gao had "kindly" sent her, the deadly poison beneath its sweet aroma, the despair of watching her loved ones grieve, powerless to do anything before her death.
She closed her eyes, pushing the surging emotions back into her heart. She couldn't tell anyone this secret, not even Ziwei or Yongqi. Some pains can only be borne alone; some grudges must be remembered quietly.
"Mingyue," she suddenly spoke, her voice much calmer, "Go get the small table and stool. I have something to tell you."
Although Mingyue was puzzled, she still answered and went. Soon, Xiao Table and Xiao Stool came in, rubbing her sleepy eyes. Seeing Xiaoyanzi's bad face, she quickly stood up and said, "Princess, what are your orders?"
Xiaoyanzi threw off the quilt and got out of bed. She walked to the window and pushed it half open. The night breeze blew in, carrying with it the cool fragrance of crabapple blossoms, which made her mind clearer. "Little Table, you will go to the imperial kitchen tomorrow and keep an eye on it. From now on, all food sent to Shufangzhai, no matter who sends it, must be tested for poison by the kitchen staff before it is served. Especially... food sent from Concubine Gao's palace."
The little table was stunned for a moment, then nodded heavily: "I'll take note of it!"
The little stool also became alert: "Is Princess worried that someone has tampered with the food? Do you want me to check who has been moving around the imperial kitchen frequently lately?"
Xiaoyanzi looked at the silhouette of the palace wall in the distance. The moonlight cast a layer of cold frost on the top of the wall, which was very similar to the night scene she saw before her death in her previous life. Her lips curled up coldly, but a firm light shone in her eyes. "We must investigate, but don't alert the enemy. We have lived in peace here in Shufangzhai for too long. It's time to be on guard against the rats in the dark."
The people at the small table and stool glanced at each other, seeing the solemnity in each other's eyes, and responded in unison: "Slave obeys your order!"
Mingyue stood aside, looking at Xiaoyanzi's straight back, and suddenly felt that Gege was different tonight than usual - those always bright eyes now had a depth that she could not understand, like a lake that had experienced wind and rain, calm on the surface but with undercurrents surging underneath.
Xiaoyanzi closed the window and turned around. Her face had regained its usual lively expression, as if the fear and coldness just now were just an illusion. "Well, it's almost dawn, let's all go to bed. Tomorrow morning I have to accompany the Emperor to take a walk in the Imperial Garden."
But only she knew that the pain of dreaming back to the cold night and the warmth of being reborn in Jiangnan had carved a scar in her heart. "Noble Concubine Gao, you owed me in your previous life. I may not make it public in this life, but if you dare to have any evil thoughts again, I will make sure you know that Fang Ci of Jiangnan is not a soft persimmon to be manipulated by anyone."
The moonlight outside the window is still gentle, but the night in Shufangzhai has quietly hidden its edge.
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