Chapter 351: The truth of another world, tears telling the past
In the study, the agarwood incense burned silently in the copper censer, leaving only the cold scent of ash, a reflection of Yongqi's current state of mind. He stood frozen by the window, his back to the door, his figure elongated and lonely in the dim light filtering through the lattice. Every word of that earth-shattering conversation in the warm room burned like a red-hot iron, repeatedly searing his nerves—"a previous life," "a broken head," "lost my parents and brother," "I almost forgot who I was"... and the Emperor's poignant words, "My past life is like a passing cloud."
The door hinges creaked softly. Xiaoyanzi, wrapped in a thick silver fox cloak and carefully supported by Caixia, slowly entered. Her face remained as pale as paper, her frail postpartum body seemingly vulnerable to a gust of wind. Only her eyes, as they gazed upon Yongqi's stiff back, were filled with apprehension, understanding, and a near-tragic determination. Caixia glanced at her worriedly, then silently retreated, gently closing the door behind her.
Deathly silence spread in the study, with only the suppressed breathing of the two people clearly audible.
Yongqi didn't turn around. His voice was dry and hoarse, like sandpaper rubbing against rough wood. Every word carried a thousand-pound weight, hitting the cold floor tiles:
"Xiaoyanzi...what's going on with 'previous life'?"
He whipped around, his eyes, always filled with a gentle smile, now bloodshot. Shock, confusion, disbelief, and a hint of the pain of being deceived surged within them like a storm. He stared at her intently, as if trying to penetrate her skin and see the unfamiliar soul hidden beneath her bright smile. "Tell me! What does 'a past life' mean? What does 'a broken head and bloodied' mean? What does 'losing parents and a brother' mean? What exactly are these 'past lives' that the Emperor spoke of?!" His voice suddenly rose, trembling uncontrollably, and finally became a low growl. He couldn't understand why all this, so beyond common sense, had happened to his beloved wife!
The storm in his eyes stung Xiaoyanzi, her body barely perceptible. She steadied herself on the edge of the rosewood desk, her fingertips icy. She didn't avoid his scorching gaze; instead, she met it. A thick mist gradually formed in those clear eyes, carrying the vicissitudes and pain of two lifetimes.
"Yongqi..." she began, her voice as light as a gust of wind that could dissipate at any moment, with a heavy nasal tone and unspeakable fatigue, "You... heard everything, right?" She was not asking a question, but stating it.
Yongqi did not answer, but stared at her with his stormy eyes, his chest heaving violently, waiting for the answer he longed for and feared.
Xiaoyanzi took a deep breath, as if she had exhausted all her strength, before she slowly uttered the truth that would overturn everything:
"Yes. I have...in a past life."
The tears finally burst out uncontrollably, rolling down her pale and thin cheeks, hitting the cold floor tiles, leaving small dark marks.
"In my previous life... my last name wasn't Fang at all, and I certainly wasn't the daughter of a scholarly family." Her voice choked with sobs, carrying the dull pain of memory. "I... I was an orphan without a father or mother. I didn't even know my last name or my first name. I only had one name: Xiaoyanzi. Liu Qing, Liu Hong, and I, along with a bunch of our miserable brothers and sisters from the slum, struggled to survive in the dirtiest and most chaotic corners of the capital, relying on fraud, street performances... to barely make ends meet."
Her words, like a cold blade, peeled back layer by layer the dusty, bloody past:
"My father... my father in my previous life, his name was Fang Zhihang. He was an upright scholar, but he was caught up in a vicious literary inquisition, slandered, framed... and finally... died in a dark prison! My mother... even her body could not be found..." The huge grief made her almost unable to breathe, and her body trembled slightly.
"Later... I met Ziwei." A flicker of warmth flashed in her eyes at the mention of this name, but was soon drowned by deeper pain. "She was a true princess, the Emperor's biological daughter, who had been cast aside among the common people! Carrying her mother's keepsake, she journeyed through untold hardships to the capital to find her father... But she was too weak to enter the fortified imperial city. It was me... me, the fearless Xiaoyanzi, who, to help her, and also to... to catch a glimpse of what her distant father looked like, I broke into the enclosure for her..."
Her voice suddenly rose, with a tragic determination:
"And then... I was shot by your arrow! Yongqi! It was you! That arrow almost took my life! But it was also that arrow... that carried me into the palace and made me 'Princess Huanzhu'!" She raised her tearful eyes and looked at Yongqi's face which turned pale in an instant, filled with shock and regret, and her tears flowed even harder.
"I became a princess... but I'm a fake! I can't read or write, I don't know the rules, I don't know etiquette, I turned the palace upside down, and there was chaos!" She laughed at herself, her smile full of bitterness, "I made so many jokes, got into so much trouble... But the emperor... he was so good to me, just like he is in this life. He tolerated me, protected me, and gave me the fatherly love I never had... And you, Yongqi, you were just like this in my previous life, foolishly protecting me, even though I was a fake princess..."
"Later... Ziwei's identity was exposed. I returned her status as a princess. It was what she deserved." Her voice trailed off, filled with a sense of settled fatigue. "The Emperor didn't blame me. He still loved me and treated me like his own daughter... I thought, after all the hardship, happiness would finally come..."
Her eyes suddenly became empty and terrified, as if she had returned to the desperate moment when she was being poisoned and her life was slipping away bit by bit:
"But... Concubine Gao... that vicious woman! She hates me, hates that I am favored by the Emperor! She... she poisoned the swiftlet's nest she gave me! A chronic poison... colorless and odorless..." Xiaoyanzi's body trembled violently, and her hands unconsciously hugged herself tightly, as if she could still feel the bone-biting cold and pain.
"I... I don't know... I ate every day... My health kept getting worse. I coughed up blood, felt cold all over, and didn't even have the strength to stand up... The imperial doctors couldn't find the cause... I just watched myself wither away... day by day..." The huge fear and the shadow of death seemed to envelop her again, causing her to sob uncontrollably. "Then... on a very cold night... I... I died..."
She suddenly raised her head, and a miraculous light, almost holy, appeared on her tear-stained face:
"I thought everything was over... But when I opened my eyes again... I was actually... I was back to my childhood! In Jiangnan, in the Fang family! My parents are still alive, and my brother is right beside me! I'm not an orphan anymore! I have a family!" The immense happiness and ecstasy of surviving a catastrophe diluted the pain of her previous life. Her voice was trembling with excitement. "I studied hard, learning the arts of music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, and the rules... I was afraid of repeating the same mistakes, afraid of losing it all... I just wanted to stay with my parents and my brother, and live a peaceful and stable life... away from the palace, away from those calculations..."
She looked at Yongqi, her eyes as complex as an overturned palette, filled with pain, fear, relief, and even a deep and unbreakable love:
"But I didn't expect... I would still meet the Emperor, and still meet you... Yongqi..." She choked up, and walked towards him step by step, as if she had used up all her strength. "In this life, I have parents, a brother, the Emperor's unwavering love, a good sister like Ziwei... and you, Rui'er, Xin'er, and our newborn little one... Although I have experienced twists and turns, and almost lost everything... I am really... really happy. So much happier than in my previous life..."
She finally walked up to him, raised her tear-stained face, looked at her husband who was so shocked that he was speechless, with stormy waves in his eyes, and said in a voice as light as a sigh and as heavy as an oath:
"This is my 'previous life,' Yongqi. An illiterate person who grew up in a slum, got into trouble in the palace, and was eventually poisoned to death... Xiaoyanzi's previous life. And this life... I'm Fangci, your wife, and the new life of the mother of your children."
The truth was like the most violent hurricane, completely shattering and overturning Yongqi's preconceptions. He stood frozen in place, looking at his tearful wife as she recounted the unbelievable story of their past. He was overwhelmed by shock, heartbreaking heartache, belated realization, and an overwhelming wave of pity and fear... all these intense emotions, like a tsunami, completely overwhelmed him.
He suddenly stretched out his hand, not to question, not to push away, but with a lost and regained strength, almost fearful, he fiercely hugged Xiaoyanzi's trembling, cold body tightly, tightly in his arms! As if he wanted to rub her into his own bones and blood, as if this could dispel all the haze and pain of her past life, and firmly grasp this hard-earned happiness in this life.
"Little Swallow... my little Swallow..." His deep, hoarse voice echoed in her ears, choked with uncontrollable sobs and unprecedented determination. "I'm sorry... for that arrow in my last life... I'm sorry... for making you endure so much alone... in this life, the next, forever and ever! I will never let you suffer like that again! Anyone who dares to touch a hair on your head again, I will make him... pay with blood!" The last word, tinged with murderous intent, echoed coldly like ice tempered by blood in this study filled with tears and truth. He vowed to make up for the protection he missed in his previous life a hundredfold and a thousandfold in this life!
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