Chapter 58: Waterside Pavilion Piano Sound, Old Shadows and New Traces
A lotus breeze, wrapped in moisture, blew across her face, bringing a touch of coolness. As Xiaoyanzi followed Xiaojian to the waterside pavilion, her fingers unconsciously curled up—the thin calluses from her piano practice in this lifetime now ached faintly. In her previous life in the palace, she couldn't even read, let alone play the qin. She'd only thought Ziwei's playing was beautiful, but she'd never imagined she'd one day sit at the qin table in the imperial garden, playing for Emperor Qianlong.
Qianlong sat on a rosewood chair by the water, the hem of his bright yellow formal attire draping over the bluestone slabs. He twirled beeswax Buddhist beads in his hand, his gaze fixed on her with a touch of inquiry. The celadon tea set on the low table steamed, and Eunuch Su carefully added water. The dripping water on the tea tray made a "patter" sound that accentuated the tranquility of the waterside pavilion.
"Your humble servant, Fangci, pays respects to His Majesty." Little Swallow knelt in greeting, her moon-white skirt spreading to the ground like a windblown cloud. She deliberately lowered her head, her long lashes drooping, hiding the nervousness beneath her eyes. She had dedicated her life to learning the art of the zither, but in this palace, facing this unpredictable emperor, she was afraid to show any weakness, and even more afraid to let anyone see the stark difference between this life and the last.
"No need for formalities." Qianlong's voice was gentle, his eyes sweeping across her tense shoulders. "I heard that you put away the zither I gave you as a reward yesterday?"
Xiaoyanzi's heart tightened, and her fingertips picked at the embroidery on the hem of her skirt: "Your Majesty, that zither is too valuable. I... I'm afraid that I will break it due to my clumsy hands." She really meant it. In her previous life, she had broken a jade cup in the palace and was punished to copy the "Instructions for Women" a hundred times. In this life, whenever she saw valuable things, she subconsciously wanted to avoid them.
Xiao Jian stood beside her, the sleeves of his moon-white gown slightly tightened, and said softly, "My sister is cautious by nature, not because she dislikes the emperor's reward."
Qianlong smiled and didn't ask any more questions. He just raised his hand and signaled the palace maid: "Put the zither on."
The palace maids delicately carried the white jade guqin to the palace. Its body was a brilliant white, and the inscription "He Ming" on the end of the qin shone warmly in the sunlight. Xiaoyanzi stared at the strings, her throat tightening. In her lifetime, she had studied guqin with renowned teachers from Jiangnan, her fingertips worn countless times until she could barely play a few tunes, but she was still far behind the palace musicians. In her previous life, she had never dared to imagine that she would one day play the guqin for her "Emperor Father" in the imperial garden.
"I heard you play half of 'Wild Geese Landing on the Plain Sand' at the palace banquet. It was quite spiritual." Qianlong took a sip from his teacup, his gaze fixed on the lotus leaves tumbling across the lake. "I'll play it again today. Don't be shy."
Xiaoyanzi took a deep breath, walked over to the zither table, and sat down. She adjusted the hem of her skirt, her fingertips hovering over the strings, hesitant to let go. In this life, when she practiced this piece, her master always told her she was "too impatient," lacking a certain sense of grace. But she couldn't change—at heart, she still had the same impulsive personality from her previous life. Even when she forced herself to sit down and play, a hint of impatience lingered in her fingertips.
"Why don't you play?" Qianlong's voice came from behind with a smile.
Xiaoyanzi bit her lower lip, her fingertips finally touching the ground. As the first note rang out, her heart tightened. The tune started a little awkwardly, like a fledgling just learning to fly, stumbling. She could feel Qianlong's gaze on her back, the heat making it stiffen. In her past life, she had gotten into countless trouble in the palace, but had she ever been so cautious?
Xiao Jian stood at the entrance to the waterside pavilion, watching his sister's silhouette as she bent her head over the qin, a corner of her moon-white skirt lifted by the wind. He knew how hard it had been for his sister to learn these "elegant things" in her life. On winter nights in Jiangnan, she would practice the qin in her study, wrapped in a cotton-padded jacket, her fingertips red with cold, but she refused to stop, just to be able to stay with her family in peace. But in the end, she could not escape the entanglement of the palace.
The melody gradually became smoother, and Xiaoyanzi forced herself to calm down. In this life, she had heard her master describe the artistic conception of "Wild Geese Landing on the Flat Sand," describing the peaceful flight of geese on the sandbar. But as she played, her fingertips uncontrollably sped up, evoking a sense of the wildness of riding horses in the paddocks in a past life.
Qianlong closed his eyes, his fingers tapping gently on his knees. The sound was different from what he remembered. It lacked the musician's regularity, but instead had a freshness to it. Like this girl, even if she forced herself to learn elegance, her inherent agility couldn't be hidden. He recalled how in his previous life, Xiaoyanzi, in the palace, couldn't even recognize the word "qin" (qin), and could only shoot birds with a slingshot. Now, she could sit quietly at the qin, tunes flowing from her fingertips. His heart was filled with tenderness and pain.
Suddenly, Xiaoyanzi's fingertips paused, and the strings jingled, striking a wrong note, as sharp as a stone scraping against glass. She looked up abruptly, her cheeks flushing crimson, and hastily withdrew her hand: "Your servant...your servant made a mistake."
Qianlong opened his eyes and looked at her bewildered appearance, like a kitten whose tail had been stepped on. The smile in his eyes deepened. "It's okay. I just played it casually. It doesn't matter if I hit a wrong note." He gestured to Eunuch Su, "Pour Miss Fang another cup of tea to calm her nerves."
Xiaoyanzi took the teacup, her fingertips burning with warmth as she flinched. She'd learned so much in her life, yet in this palace, she'd still become nervous and make mistakes. In her past life, she'd been fearless, always having Yongqi and Erkang to help her out whenever she got into trouble. But in this life, she had to rely on herself.
"Does this zither suit you?" Qianlong looked at the white jade zither. "If it doesn't suit you, I will give you a better one."
"No, no, no!" Xiaoyanzi waved her hands quickly, almost knocking over the teacup, "This zither is very good, it's your... your skills are too poor, not worthy of playing the zither." She was really afraid of this "reward". Every reward was like a thread, pulling her into the deep palace.
Qianlong looked at her frantically waving her hands, which looked just like the way she was afraid of being punished by kneeling in her previous life. He couldn't hide the smile in his eyes. "Since the zither is useful, you should practice more in the future. I heard that the music of Jiangnan is interesting. Next time you come to the palace, can you play a Jiangnan tune for me?"
Xiaoyanzi's heart sank suddenly, and her fingers tightened around the teacup: "Your servant...your servant is dull and stupid, and I'm afraid I'll disappoint the Emperor."
"It's okay, learn slowly." Qianlong stood up, walked to the lakeside, and looked at the lotus pond. "It's getting late, let Su Peisheng take you back home."
Xiaoyanzi felt as if she had been pardoned. She quickly stood up and saluted, "Thank you, Your Majesty."
She followed Xiao Jian out, and as she passed the zither case, she couldn't help but glance back at the white jade zither. Its body was a brilliant white, its strings gleaming coldly in the sunlight, like an exquisite cage. In this life, she had painstakingly learned things she would never have touched in her previous life, yet she still couldn't escape the shadow of the palace.
Walking out of the pavilion, the lotus breeze was still refreshing, but Xiaoyanzi felt a sense of unease in her heart. She clutched Xiaojian's sleeve and lowered her voice to a very low voice: "Brother, am I playing the piano badly?"
Xiao Jian patted her hands, his palms warm: "It sounds very nice, better than what you play at home."
Xiaoyanzi looked down at her fingertips, where the touch of the zither strings still lingered. She had learned the zither for a life of stability, but the sound of it had led her to a more precarious place. She looked up at the palace walls in the distance, their vermilion glaring in the sunlight. A single thought crossed her mind: she truly didn't want to return to this palace.
As the carriage pulled away from the palace gates, Xiaoyanzi lifted the curtains and sighed softly as she gazed at the palace receding further and further away. Her lifelong pursuit of music, chess, calligraphy, and painting had ultimately failed to provide her with a peaceful and stable existence.
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