Chapter 290: Lonely figure in the cold courtyard, the crack is hard to mend
The door of the main room in the east courtyard was slammed shut with a loud bang, causing the crabapple blossom vine hanging on the window frame to sway slightly.
Xiaoyanzi leaned against the cold door, her chest heaving violently, the calm she had forced herself to maintain completely gone. She bit her lower lip hard, until she tasted a hint of blood, and only then did she manage to suppress the sob in her throat. The burn on the back of her hand still ached, the red mark like a ferocious little snake, burning her skin and her already pounding heart.
"Princess, are you okay?" Mingyue chased in with a plate of iced cucumber slices, her voice filled with panic, "Hurry, let me apply some compress on you. This burn could be serious or minor!"
Caixia also followed in with a small jar of cooling ointment, her eyes red. "It's all Chen Zhihua's fault! And the prince too, why is it..."
"Shut up!" Xiaoyanzi suddenly raised her voice, with a barely perceptible tremor. She turned around, her face no longer cold, only a mixture of grievance and anger. Her eyes were as red as a rabbit's, but she stubbornly refused to let the tears fall. "Don't talk nonsense!"
Mingyue and Caixia were startled by her yell. Seeing her clenched fists with her knuckles turning white, they finally swallowed the rest of their words and just looked at the glaring red on the back of her hand with heartache.
Xiaoyanzi took a deep breath and walked to the rose chair by the window and sat down, her back to them. The crabapple blossoms outside the window were still falling, and the sunlight filtered through the branches, casting mottled shadows on the ground, but she felt cold all over, as if she had fallen into an ice cellar.
The pale red mark on Chen Zhihua's neck was like a poisonous sting, deeply embedded in her eye, unable to be pulled out or gouged out. Yongqi's evasive eyes, his distraught expression, and the panic he'd experienced when he'd knocked over the teacup just now replayed in her mind over and over, each time bringing a sharp pain.
She is not a fool.
Ever since the Empress Dowager proposed giving Yongqi a concubine, she knew this day would come. She tried to convince herself that Yongqi only cared about her, that it was all imperial rules and she had no choice. But when the trace of intimacy truly appeared before her eyes, all her self-consolation was like a house of cards, shattered at the first poke.
"Princess, apply some cucumber first. It can relieve the pain." Mingyue walked forward cautiously, speaking in a very soft voice.
Xiaoyanzi didn't look back, but just nodded slightly.
The cool cucumber slices on the back of her hand brought a brief moment of comfort, but the burning pain in her heart didn't subside in the slightest. She could imagine Yongqi's feelings at that moment: guilt, regret, and perhaps even a hint of helplessness. But so what? The damage had already been done, just like this burn; even if it heals, it may still leave a scar.
In the courtyard of the west yard, Yongqi was still frozen in place.
Chen Zhihua was helped back to the inner room by her maid. Before leaving, she glanced at Yongqi with a complex look that showed grievance, understanding, and a hint of hidden, barely perceptible pride.
Xiao Dengzi and Xiao Zhuozi had already cleaned up the broken porcelain pieces on the floor, and wiped away the traces of tea with a cloth, as if the suffocating tea ceremony had never happened. However, the faint smell of tea lingering in the air, and the water stains on the crabapple petals, were silent reminders of Yongqi's previous disarray and disorder.
"Your Highness..." Xiao Zhuozi said cautiously, "How about... go see the princess?"
Yongqi snapped back to his senses, as if jolted awake by these words. He nodded, then stumbled towards the East Courtyard. With every step, the guilt in his heart grew deeper. He didn't know how to face Xiaoyanzi, or what to say to undo the hurt he had just suffered.
He didn't even dare to think about how painful Xiaoyanzi must have felt when she saw the mark on Chen Zhihua's neck.
Reaching the door of the main house in the east courtyard, he hesitated. The door was closed, like an invisible barrier, isolating him from the outside. He could imagine the stubborn figure inside, licking his wounds alone.
"Little Swallow..." he called softly, his voice very hoarse.
There was no response from inside.
He knocked on the door again: "Xiaoyanzi, it's me, open the door, let's... let's talk."
Still no response.
Yongqi's heart sank. He knew Xiaoyanzi was truly angry and hurt this time. He raised his hand to knock again, but his fingertips stopped the moment they touched the door. What should he say? That he didn't mean it? That he was drunk? That he mistook Chen Zhihua for her? These words would only make her feel worse.
He dropped his hands dejectedly, leaned against the door frame, and closed his eyes. The sun was glaring, but he felt that everything before him was dark.
In the main room, Xiaoyanzi heard Yongqi's voice.
Her body stiffened, and her grip on the teacup tightened suddenly, her knuckles turning white. The tea in the cup had already gone cold, just like her current mood.
"Princess, the prince is here..." Mingyue whispered.
Xiaoyanzi didn't say anything, but buried her face deeper, with her chin resting on her knees, like a little animal curled up after being injured.
She doesn't want to see him.
She didn't know what expression to use to face him, nor what to say. When she thought of him and Chen Zhihua spending a night in the new house in the west courtyard, and of what he might have done to Chen Zhihua, her heart felt like it was being tightly grasped by a big hand, and she felt so painful that she couldn't breathe.
It was quiet outside for a long time, so long that Xiaoyanzi thought Yongqi had left. Just when she was slightly relieved, the door was gently pushed open a crack.
Yongqi poked his head in, his eyes filled with caution and guilt. Seeing Xiaoyanzi huddled in the chair, he felt a prick in his heart.
"Xiaoyanzi..." He walked in lightly, "I..."
Xiaoyanzi turned around abruptly, with a deliberately indifferent look on her face: "Your Highness, is there anything else?" She deliberately used the title "Your Highness", acting as distant as a stranger.
Yongqi felt a pang of pain in his heart when she called him "Prince," and he stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at Xiaoyanzi's red eyes, at the red mark on the back of her hand covered by the cucumber slice, and his lips moved, but he finally uttered only three words: "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry?" Xiaoyanzi smiled, a rather sad smile. "What did Your Highness do to me? It was the Empress Dowager's idea to take her as a concubine. It's the royal custom. You're not wrong." She paused, her eyes as cold as ice. "Or is it that Your Highness is sorry for accidentally knocking over the teacup and scalding me?"
Yongqi felt even more pained when he saw her, clearly about to cry, yet trying to pretend she didn't care. He took a step forward, wanting to hold her hand: "Xiaoyanzi, I know you're feeling bad, I..."
"Don't touch me!" Xiaoyanzi retracted her hand suddenly, as if she had been burned. She stood up and took two steps back, putting some distance between them. "Your Highness, please go and see your new concubine. She has just arrived, and I'm sure there are many things she needs your care for. I won't bother you with anything here."
Her voice was calm, but every word was like a small hammer, hitting Yongqi's heart.
Yongqi looked at the visible cracks in her eyes and knew that it was useless to say anything at this moment. He opened his mouth, but in the end, he said nothing. He just looked at her deeply, turned around and left dejectedly.
The door was closed again. This time, the sound was very gentle, but it was like a heavy hammer, shattering the last bit of warmth in the room.
Xiaoyanzi watched Yongqi's departing figure, her tense body finally collapsing. She slumped into a chair, tears unable to be held back any longer. Like beads from a broken string, they fell, clattering down, hitting the back of her cold hand with a tingling sensation.
Mingyue and Caixia hurried forward, one handed her a handkerchief and the other patted her back gently.
"Princess, stop crying. It's not worth it to hurt yourself..."
Xiaoyanzi shook her head, choking with sobs and unable to speak. It wasn't that she didn't understand the rules of the imperial family, nor that she didn't know she had no choice, but she just felt uncomfortable and wronged. She had thought their love could withstand anything, but in the end, it still succumbed to the rules and calculations of this deep and powerful courtyard.
The crabapple blossoms outside the window are still falling, one after another, like countless broken hearts.
The coldness and silence of the East Courtyard, the undercurrent of the West Courtyard, and the quietly cracked and irreparable gap all indicate that the peaceful days of Prince Rong's Mansion are gone forever.
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